


Damage Control

by RestlessCancer



Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Childhood Trauma, Experimentation, Fluff, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Experimentation, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Polyamory, Pseudo-Family, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trauma, Unconventional Coping Mechanisms, Unethical Experimentation, mention of rape, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 16:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 88,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5973391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestlessCancer/pseuds/RestlessCancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard Stark was poisoning his son, much to the dismay of the two people who loved Anthony "Tony" Edward Stark more than anything in the universe and one of those two decided to take matters into her own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Her Precious Broken Bundle

**Author's Note:**

> So I got the idea from re-watching The Help, which had the scene where Aibileen basically did the same sort of thing with the little girl of the family she worked for.

“ _I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks Then it walks, then it walks with my legs To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet…”_ – Florence and the Machine, “I’m Not Calling You a Liar”

Howard and Maria Stark have always lived a busy and fast-paced life and having their son didn’t change that in the least.  Anthony Edward Stark was loved and cherished by two people. One was obviously his mother, but much to the surprise of most, Howard was not the other. If anything, his son was only the heir to the Stark name and fortune that was of no real use and was nothing special- just another stereotypical spoiled, rich brat. However, if one consulted the other person who adored the Starks’ baby boy, Amelia Parish, one would hear a very different story since the nurse maid spent the most time with the child.  However, once Anthony started walking and talking at 2 years old, Howard began to break the child’s spirit.

“Anthony Edward Stark, we do not play. Playing is a waste of time and genius. You are the genius son of an inventor and scientist.” Howard lectured for the tenth time that week as his son stood in front of him with a wobbly lip that his father didn’t overlook. “We also don’t cry. Crying is for the weak. We are strong. Stark men are made of iron.”

“Howard! He’s a baby! It’s not like he understands all of that. He can’t invent things like you, he’s too young.” Maria screeched in outrage before turning to the family’s nurse maid. “Amelia, take Tony and start getting him ready for bed.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Amelia submitted with a bow before extending her arms out to the little boy trembling in front of his father.

Anthony looked up at his kind nurse maid and reached for her, feeling much safer as she took him in her arms and carried him back to his room. He let himself cry into her chest once they returned to his bedroom. Amelia closed the door to muffle the shouts of his parents and the sound of their little boy’s sobs of shame. He was to begin toilet training as soon as his third birthday came around- another condition only met after Maria battled it out with Howard- but for the time being, he was still in diapers. Amelia’s heart had been breaking behind her placid façade as she had watched Howard Stark lay into his son for the millionth time since the child had said his first words. She could appreciate Howard’s anxiety since he had waited so late into his life to actually marry and have children, but Amelia still didn’t see that as any excuse for the kind of harsh brutality that the man was placing on a toddling baby- one who still wasn’t anywhere near meeting the typical height and weight of other children his age at that.

“Shhh, sugar, it’s okay.” Amelia soothes her soft southern way as she lays the little boy down on a changing table. “Your daddy is just all strung out from his crazy science and inventions.”

She made quick work of the diaper change. Amelia grabbed the little boy’s pajamas from the end of the changing table and switched his day clothes out for a soft fleece sleeper. She takes him back in her arms and disposes of the dirty diaper in the waste basket next to the changing table.

“Meme, stay.” Anthony pleads with sniffles as he cuddles into her.

“Of course, darlin’.” Amelia assured him, dimming the lamp between his bed and the rocking chair as she settles into said chair, rocking them both back and forth ever so slowly. “We’ll wait for Mistah Jarvis to bring your special bed time cup and then we’ll have you’re lullaby.”

“Spesal seecwet too?” Anthonys sniffled, hoping his second mommy hasn’t forgotten to remind him of what she called their ‘special secret.’

“Of course, sweet pea.” She agreed, smiling warmly at the precious bundle in her arms.

The door to the nursery opened quietly as Maria Stark slipped in. She grabbed her son’s baby blanket and his Captain America bear (he called it ‘Cap Amee’) from their hiding spot under his bed and brought them over. She looked better than she normally did, no angry red marks from being hit or opens wounds from being shoved into breakables that always shattered and embedded into her skin, as she spread the blanket over her baby boy and nestled ‘Cap Amee’ in his arms.

“Sweet dreams, my little genius.” Maria murmured as she kissed his cheek and left as Edwin Jarvis entered.

“Here is young Sir’s special bedtime cup.” Jarvis announced, handing it over to Amelia. “Sleep well, young Sir.”

“Thank ya, Mistah Jarvis.” Amelia replied, tipping the sippy cup of warm milk into her charge’s mouth.

“It was my pleasure, Ms. Amelia.” Jarvis replied with a bow before taking his leave with a soft click of the door closing.

“Time for a lullaby, sweet pea.” Amelia whispered, starting to hum. “I took my love and I took it down, climbed a mountain then I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills. Well the landslide brought me down. Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above?  Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Uh ah, Uh ah, Uh ah. Well, I've been afraid of changin' ‘cause I built my life around you but time makes you bolder- children get older- I'm getting older too…”

Amelia let the melody fade out as Anthony finished his warm milk, setting the cup aside, and shifting the little boy to rest his chin on her shoulder while she burped him for good measure. She then cradled the sleepy little boy back in her arms.

Amelia is by no means old at this point in her life. She grew up agnostic in a Catholic family (though she always pretended that she was person of faith so as not to hurt her family’s image) where she had six siblings and she was the third oldest of them all. She came to work for the Starks when Anthony was first born. At that point she was only 18. She had been working as a maid for another family not far from where the Starks lived when the family decided to move to another country and simply get an entirely new staff, though they were kind enough to recommend Amelia and their other servants to other rich families. Amelia was lucky enough to make the cut for the Starks’ nurse maid since she not only had experience with her previous employing family but she also had helped raise her own siblings.

For a Southerner, Amelia had always been fair skinned, though her big eyes and porcelain doll like features made her a bit of trophy to some people. On top of that, she had beautiful dark hair that was somewhere between black and a really dark brown. She was petite and had a torso proportionally longer than her legs, but it suited her. She was very graceful and kind, as she was raised to be, so it was no surprise when even Howard fawned over her after Maria had dragged him up from his lab to meet the young lady she was intent on hiring as their nurse maid. Maria and Howard loved to rave about how they managed to snag the best servants and how ‘that Amelia is simply an angel and a delight, a perfect servant to help raise their son right with the influence of Southern charm, manners, and respect.’

However positive Maria and Howard’s comments were, they were nothing compared to what Anthony Stark thought of his nurse maid. She was like a ray of sunshine in a dark room, a warm blanket on a cold night, and a bandage over a scraped knee- she made everything better for him. The one thing he loved the most was his bed time routine, which would break his mother’s heart to see, especially if she stuck around to eavesdrop on the ‘special secret’ that Amelia told him every night before he went to bed. If Amelia were to be perfectly blunt in her summary of what she did, the only way she could describe was _damage control_.

“Are you ready to hear our secret, sweet pea?” Amelia whispered as she began to tuck him into bed and slip his pacifier in his mouth.

Too tired to speak, Anthony simply nodded as she knelt down by his bed and began running her fingers through his hair with one hand and tracing hearts on his little cheek with the other.

“You are smarter than you believe. You are sweet as sugah. You are as handsome as a prince. You love like no othah. You dream like only you can. You ah loved no matter what othahs say.” Amelia repeated, just like every other night. “You are special. You are important. You are you.”

As she finished her quiet proclamations- her attempt at reversing the damage Howard was doing- she noticed Anthony started to drift off into his dream realm where she hoped he would find some peace until Howard would start the cycle again in the morning. Amelia kissed the sleeping baby’s forehead and slid the guard rail on his tiny bed into position before she slipped out of her day clothes and into a nightgown. She snuffed out the lamp, ran her fingers through Anthony’s hair one last time, and retired to her cot next to his closet.

As she lie in bed, it came back to her that it wouldn’t be long before she was relocated to the servants’ quarters with Jarvis and the others as the little boy she considered as much hers as Maria’s would grow up and no longer rely on her for anything until finally she would be let go of and recommended to another rich family that had a baby that they had no time for. She sighed softly as the tears rolled down her face and made a vow that even after Howard and Maria let her go, she would find a way to keep an eye on the little boy that no one else loved.

“ _I don't think that I knew The chaos I was getting in But I've broken all my promises to you I've broken all my promises to you Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard to smile because You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me, me? A frozen lines, a single tear Is harder than I ever feared And you were left feeling so alone Because these days aren't easy Like they have been once before These days aren't easy anymore…”_ –Secondhand Serenade “Why”


	2. The Tragedy of Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't sleep for fear of going back to the hell inside his head. Howard never knew how much he poisoned his son, slowly killing his only child from the inside out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter is going to be short (and kind of dark and twisted) and the chapter after that will be much longer to explain how Tony is seeing what he's seeing in the 3rd chapter.  
> Please feel free to let me know how I'm doing, I do aim to find the most interesting spins and plot twists to pull into an in depth story about Tony's childhood.

“ _Ever wonder 'bout what he's doing How it's all turned to lies Sometimes I think that it's better, To never ask why Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die You gotta get up and try, and try, and try Gotta get up and try, and try, and try You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

 _Funny how the heart can be deceiving More than just a couple times Why do we fall in love so easy Even when it's not right… Ever worry that it might be ruined And does it make you wanna cry When you're out there doing what you're doing Are you just getting by Tell me are you just getting by, by, by…” –_ P!nk, “Try”

Tony hasn’t slept in nearly two weeks, though he let himself doze a few times, much to his panic. As soon as he feels himself nod off, he dunks his head in the ice water he methodically trapped in the sink and chugs another cup of coffee- Turkish coffee, which he hates the taste of but it’s much stronger than any others he’s used in the past week. He tries to absorb himself in working on the suits, claiming Iron Man is starting to seem like Cardboard Man to him and the public. Everyone knows it’s bullshit, but the last time Colonel Rhodes, or more affectionately known as Rhodey, tried to get Tony to at least sit for a minute, the eccentric billionaire shot a repulsor blast not five inches to the right of the man’s head, claiming he was testing to see if he had gotten rid of the malfunction. So it was safe to say that no one was willing to risk their life to see if Tony was taking care of himself.

Pepper lectured him on his insanity and tried to reason with him that even though she was his ex, that didn’t mean she wanted him dead or anything of like- in fact, it meant the opposite, she desperately wanted him to be alive and well, only one of which barely applied to him. It certainly wasn’t being well. Tony had simply ignored her until she was called away on company business. Now, had Tony not already threatened JARVIS, the AI system would have agreed with Ms. Virginia Potts, but JARVIS understood that as much as his creator adored said AI, Tony wasn’t beyond dismantling him or outright destroying him (though both JARVIS and Tony knew that as much of an ass as the latter could be, he was not that heartless).

If SHIELD had already succeeded in their latest serum, they would’ve had a mind reader to help them understand that Tony Stark was far from okay and the reason for his fatally falling health was the very brain encased in his skull. While anyone could assume that he was simply too brilliant and was just overworking himself in order to execute his latest genius and free himself of the nagging urge to complete it, there were only two people who could successfully calm that intricate database of a mind. The only problem was that both were MIA. One was being experimented on-unbeknownst to Tony of course- while the other was undergoing a resurrection of sorts.

The first was Evelyn Parish-Jarvis, daughter of Tony’s beloved nursemaid with all the same porcelain doll beauty as her mother with all the expertise, fierce loyalty, and impeccable combat skills of her father. If Tony hadn’t been reliving every horror he’d been through in his life, he would’ve quickly found out that Evelyn was being experimented on. The other, he had no clue about- nor did anyone outside of HYDRA. As far as Tony knew, his beloved pixie of a girl, Evelyn, was simply away with a friend doing a missions trip that her Uncle Nathan (one of Amelia’s siblings) had convinced her to come along on.

“Fuck off, Capsicle.” Tony automatically responded as none other than Steve Rogers entered through the workshop door.

“Tony, what the hell are you doing?” Steve demands in a level and tired voice as he spots the ice water and Tony’s dripping face and hair. “Are you trying to make your body shut down for good the next time your eye close?”

“Remind me again how many times I have to kick you out before you stay gone?” Tony questions, clearly irritated to say the least as he glared Steve.

“Infinity and beyond.” Steve states humorlessly, quoting Toy Story, which the other Avengers had been watching to (unsuccessfully) lighten up the mood.

“Oh, so you’re a space man now, Cap?” Tony responds dryly, not even bothering with a smart ass comment like he normally would.

“No, but I’ll keep harassing you until you start taking care of yourself.” Steve assures him.

“Good luck with that one.” Tony tells him, making his eighth cup of Turkish coffee for the day.

“Why are you doing this to yourself, Tony?” Steve questions, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Doing what? Focusing on making sure the suit doesn’t fall apart or misfire and kill someone?” Tony replies, obviously knowing that wasn’t what Steve means.

“Have you even realized that Evelyn’s gone missing?” Steve asks, starting to wonder if Tony’s so far gone that he’s forgotten about the girl they’d seen him fawn over so often.

“She’s not missing. She’s on a missions trip with that one uncle of hers and some friend who goes to the same religious mass murder every Sunday.” Tony dismisses, barely recalling when he’d had to say goodbye to his anticatalyst.

“Tony, she never made it to the airport where she was supposed to meet Anna and her uncle at.” Steve informs him. “When Fury found out, he speculated she’d been kidnapped to get your attention, but apparently you don’t care for her the way we all thought you did.”

“What?!” Tony yells, clearly still functioning enough to be enraged. “Why didn’t anybody tell me this sooner? J?!”

“I was unaware of Madam’s status as missing. There has been no notifications of any kind to alert you personally to her absence.” JARVIS answers.

“Tony, the Director swore he’d contact you, which is why no one else said anything. Fury promised to send Agent Coulson if he couldn’t tell you himself.” Steve clarifies, starting to wonder if Fury knows something he’s not sharing.

“J, I want you sweeping through everything you can find on our pixie starting from the moment she left the Tower. If you leave anything out, I swear I will tear you apart and rebuild you to be more obedient.” Tony commanded, flinching internally at the threat he gave- he really didn’t want to threaten his AI because JARVIS had never lied to him before, nor had he defied him.

“Tony, you can’t do anything until you’ve slept and ate something.” Steve insists, clearly not approving any part of this. “Back me up here, JARVIS.”

“I’m afraid I cannot, Captain. Sir has made the consequences very clear as to what will happen should I mention and/or side with anyone concerning his health.” JARVIS apologizes.

“Can’t you do anything, J?” Steve presses, noticing just how much weight Tony has lost as the brilliant engineer staggers a bit to approach the console and map out a possible route that Evelyn might’ve taken to get to the airport.

“There is one thing, Captain, Sir has not expressly forbidden.” JARVIS admits at a quieter and seemingly more concentrated volume.

“Great, let’s give it a go.” Steve encourages, willing to try anything once- except just blatantly knocking Tony out.

After a minute, a buffering recording comes to life. It’s a recording of Tony and Evelyn’s night routine. There’s rustling and a bit of giggling and chuckling. Tony freezes, entranced by the pleasant memory that starts projecting itself in front of them, Steve standing behind Tony. Evelyn and Tony are cuddled up in his huge bed with candles lit. He’s shirtless and she’s wearing a simple, white nightgown. He’s laying part way on top of her with his head on her chest.

“Anthony Stahk, hands to ya self now!” Evelyn giggles with the same Southern accent her mother had.

“Come on, Evie, sing it for me?” Tony’s velvety voice seems to purr.

“I took my love and I took it down, climbed a mountain then I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills. Well the landslide brought me down. Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above?  Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Uh ah, Uh ah, Uh ah. Well, I've been afraid of changin' ‘cause I built my life around you but time makes you bolder- children get older- I'm getting older too…” Evelyn sings-so much like her mother that Tony can hardly believe it’s a different person.

Tony, both in the video and as he presently sits at the console, starts to nod off.

“Ya remember what my Mama always told ya?” Evelyn asks in voice as sweet and soft as a cinnamon roll that’s fresh out of the oven and smeared in icing, to which Tony sleepily shakes his head, making her giggle softly since she knows otherwise. “You ah smarter than you believe. You ah sweet as sugah. You ah as handsome as a prince. You love like no othah. You dream like only you can. You ah loved no matter what othahs say. You ah special. You ah important. You ah you.”

The video fades out and ends. Tony is fast asleep with his head barely supported by a hand under chin. Steve’s heart breaks as he realizes how much Tony must have been suffering for the past two weeks without her. He never knew Evelyn meant or did so much when it came to Tony- everyone assumed she was just his girlfriend whom he had his kinky sex with. But if this video proves anything, it’s that Tony Stark has a heart and it’s not only threatened by the shards of shrapnel in his chest, but it’s tearing itself apart. Iron Man may be tougher than bullets and fists, but Tony can break at one wrong word and no one would ever know…

“I would recommend taking Sir up to his floor.” JARVIS advises, breaking Steve out of his troubled thoughts.

“Right. Thanks J.” Steve responds, shaking his head a bit before shifting Tony and picking him up like a toddler.

After carrying Tony into the elevator and pressing the button for Tony’s floor, he feels the overtired genius resituate himself in his sleep in a position that reminds Steve of the way babies and toddlers would cuddle themselves into their parents for comfort after a long day. Tony’s head rests on the man’s shoulder and his arms are wrapped loosely around Steve’s neck.

“Captain, I must warn you, Sir hasn’t slept alone in a very long time and the last time he did, Madam returned barely in time to stop him from intentionally dislodging the arc reactor from his chest.” JARVIS cautions as the elevator dings and opens to Tony’s ghostly uninhabited floor of the Tower.

“Are you saying that Tony attempted suicide?” Steve asks, unconsciously tightening his grip on the sleeping genius in his arms.

“Yes, Captain. Sir seems to have nightmares and flashbacks to past traumas when left without the comfort of another being next to him to assure him that he is in fact not living those memories in the present.” JARVIS affirms as Steve attempts to lay Tony down on the bed, finding that Tony has a very tight grip even in his sleep that Steve worries about dislodging for fear of accidentally breaking the smaller and seemingly much frailer man in his arms.

“So what are you suggesting JARVIS?” Steve inquires, finally getting Tony relaxed enough to let go of him so he can tuck him in.

“If you feel comfortable enough, I am suggesting you stay with Sir until he has awoken so that the presence of another body may dissuade any rash actions upon his waking should he suffer the same flashbacks and nightmares as before.” JARVIS answers. “I believe cuddling is most often used to stave off potential negative dreams.”

“JARVIS, please tell me this is not some sick prank that Tony is pulling.” Steve pleads, feeling like this could very well be an over done and elaborate joke or way of luring the super soldier into being a sex partner for the unconventional playboy.

“I can assure you most vigorously that this is in no way any sort of plot to steal your innocence, Captain. Sir has not shared these things with me openly, but I have heard him and Madam discussing their past together. I have gathered that Sir has gone through countless traumatic experiences that he struggled to cope with and only came to escape through the comforts of Amelia Parish and, on rare occasions, her husband, Edwin Jarvis until they passed away, at which point Edwin Jarvis Jr. and his older sister, Madam Evelyn Parish-Jarvis seemed to take the places of their parents.” JARVIS explains as Steve lays down and finds himself once again being clung to by Tony.

“Who are they?”

“Amelia Parish was a maid hired to be Sir’s nanny upon his birth. Edwin Jarvis had been serving the Stark family for many years before that after fighting with the British air force against the Nazi regime in World War II. Amelia and Edwin were wed when Sir was nearly three years old and approximately a year later, Amelia gave birth to Madam Evelyn, followed by Edwin Jarvis Jr. three years later.” JARVIS elaborates. “Sir was apparently rendered quite useless by the time Mr. Jarvis and Mrs. Parish-Jarvis had passed away. With the loss of Sir’s parents and pseudo-parents, he very nearly attempted suicide. He was only stopped by Evelyn and Edwin Jr.’s pleas and comforts. Sir began his coping mechanism of burying himself in his work at this point and worked himself to the point of blacking out only a few years later when he and Evelyn had to hold a funeral for Edwin Jarvis Jr. after he gave his life protecting Sir. My creator appears to have never forgiven himself for the deaths of his pseudo-parents and pseudo-sibling.”

Steve’s head is reeling as he thinks over all the new information he’s received about the arrogant man he had very nearly hated upon meeting for the first time. He had no idea just how troubled the heir to the Stark family name and fortune really was- or that he was at all. Steve had always figured that Tony had grown up a spoiled brat that didn’t even blink twice if someone sacrificed themselves for him, much like the rest had, well, with the exception of Bruce who had managed to connect very personally with Tony and almost instantly earn the friendship and adoration of Evelyn, who is apparently Tony’s pseudo-sister based off of what JARVIS told him. But there was one thing that really nagged at him…

“JARVIS, why was it that that video you played was able to knock Tony out? What was so special about it? Does he really miss Evelyn that much?” Steve asks quietly, not wanting to disturb Tony, who looks like the picture of innocence and simplicity in his sleep, so child-like and vulnerable.

“From what I analyze, the song sung by Madam along with the set of phrases she recited for him, is a sort of relaxation method that must have been employed very early on in Sir’s life. Looking closely as the dialogue from Madam, she does ask Sir if he remembers what Miss Amelia always told him.” JARVIS reports.

“It’s no wonder he’s such a wreck then… Without her here to help him relax, he’s wired up more than a power line struck by Thor and probably feels like he’s walking on broken glass…” Steve connects, shaking his head at how damaged his co-leader is. “It’s amazing he’s still functioning as well as he is…”

“Indeed, Captain.”

“ _Here I stand, helpless and left for dead Close your eyes, so many days go by Easy to find what's wrong Harder to find what's right I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies I won't stay long, in this world so wrong Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight Don't you dare look at him in the eye As we dance with the devil tonight…”_ –Breaking Benjamin, “Dance with the Devil”


	3. The Hell in Gray Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's mind has turned against him for the billionth time, though he's struggling to make it all stop for good.  
> WARNING: THIS IS VERY DARK AND POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED-READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know I reference "Seven Devils" twice, two different parts of the song, but it's the one that suits the situation the most.  
> I really recommend playing the song "Seven Devils" on repeat while reading this chapter because it gives and excellent and chilling experiment and if it were a scene from a movie, I'm sure it would be playing quietly in the background. I also recommend starting the volume so you can just barely hear the song and then as each new 'devil' is introduced, turning the volume up a couple notches.  
> Anyway, that's all I have for this.

“ _Holy water cannot help you now A thousand armies couldn't keep me out I don't want your money I don't want your crown See I have to burn your kingdom down Holy water cannot help you now See I've have to burn your kingdom down And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out I'm gonna raise the stakes, I'm gonna smoke you out Seven devils all around me! Seven devils in my house! See they were there when I woke up this morning And I'll be dead before the day is done Seven devils all around you Seven devils in your house See I was dead when I woke up this morning And I'll be dead before the day is done Before the day is done…”_ -Florence and the Machine, “Seven Devils”

As Tony awoke, he felt much smaller, as if the receptors in his brain couldn’t quite coordinate his proportions with that of… Where, exactly? All Tony can see is black beyond the dull glow of the arc reactor. When he extends his hand, he suddenly freezes. He knew his brain wasn’t exactly cooperating, but even if it left him feeling smaller, there was no reason for his body to look like that of his three year old self. Before he could think further, whispers, vague and distant yet closing in on him, sound all around him. With some effort from his three year old self, he manages to shift onto his hands and knees and push himself up to stand on his tiny feet, feeling a bit more unsteady than he remembers being at that age. He feels his face scrunch up in confusion as some of the whispers get louder.

Suddenly a sound like breaking crystal and a slamming door rings out before come to a sudden halt as a woman, his mother, Maria Stark, steps out from behind a shadowy form of a tree that bends and twists as he watches it, a fire igniting behind it and spreading to the right to illuminate many other knarled and disfigured trees. He tries to run to his mother, but trips over a twisted root that he hadn’t seen before. He hears himself wailing and calling to her with a frantic cry of ‘Mama!’ but she only comes close enough for him to see what she truly looks like. She is not the mother he knew. There’s blood streaming from her eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Her skin is torn away in some places and the brilliant ruby gown she normally wore to galas is torn to shreds exposing areas where not only is the skin gone from her body, but even some muscle tissues to the point where he can see bone. The most terrifying is her exposed rib cage, just above her heart as it beats in a rhythm that he remembers from Edgar Allen Poe’s The Telltale Heart.

“You cursed this family with your birth.” She accuses gagging on her own blood, her body suddenly gathering bruises and cuts as it jerks around as if someone were bludgeoning her, collapsing to the ground and staring straight at him with cold, glassy eyes as she whispers, “Your birth was a mistake. We had no time for a useless infantile like you…”

Her accusation hangs in the air as the light from the arc reactor falters, coming to reveal every tooth in her mouth as a fang and her tongue that of a serpent’s. Before he can cry out or trying to further the distance between them, another sound rings through the air. There’s the sound of a menacing chuckle and an explosion, but the explosion is real, chunks of the demonic tree from the far right of his vision flying at him- only to dissolve into black smoke that dissipates in the air, leaving a putrid stench of chemicals and rotten flesh as the form of his father emerges from the trees. His father is marred in many of the same ways as his mother, but his features are much more contorted, his jaw unhinging and reattaching itself at random, and his mouth is already full of fangs and a reptilian tongue. He approaches Maria as Tony whimpers, starting to sit up and curl into himself. Howard Stark looks straight into his son’s eyes and chuckles like a cliché movie villain as he places his seemingly massive right foot on Maria’s back and steps down hard, leaving a sickening crunching and cracking to ring through the air as she screams and a pool of blood forms underneath the section of ribs he broke. Suddenly, she starts chanting in shallow breaths, gasping for air.

“Unwanted!” She repeats in a quiet gasp in time with her heartbeat.

“You’re no better than a bastard. A fatal failure and a black mark on the Stark legacy.” Howard growls, crouching down and gathering a pool of Maria’s blood in his hand. “A waste of time and space. Useless. I should’ve let them kill you the first time they took you, but no, I had to look good to the public… So I just let them torture and rape you, evermore the hero once I finally busted down the walls of their bases and had that slutty nanny take you.”

Tony finds that he can’t blink, can’t close his eyes, and is forced to watch in horror as Howard’s tongue seems to move as a separate entity from the man himself as it dips into Maria’s blood sitting in his hand. It curls with a sickening slurp before Howard’s deep, throaty, maniacal laughter echoes through the darkness and into the fire, seeming to fuel the flames.

The tree next to the one Maria came out from behind creaks, its roots groaning and snapping as another set of sounds ring out. There’s weeping and the sound of a rocking chair rhythmically thudding against a solid wall. Then a third figure climbs out of the ground and he instantly recognizes his nanny, Amelia. She limps forward, one leg twisted around the wrong way with the bones of her shin sticking out from her leg. Her beautiful hair is matted with dirt, blood and tears. Her eyes are rolled back into her head and there’s a black liquid pouring from every orifice. Seeming to keep up with the theme of mangled corpses, she’s also missing skin, tendons, and other body tissues in some places. Like Maria, the skin and tissues that should have been covering the area over her ribs and above her heart are missing, but something else is as well…

There is no heart there, but there’s still a slow stream of blood gushing from her body. She holds her hands behind her back. There’s broken sobs emitting from her as she pushes between Maria and Howard, suddenly her left hand darts out, holding a knife. Before Tony can even guess at what she’s going to do, she lodges the blade in Howard’s skull and shoves it in until it’s deeply embedded within the man’s brain, which only makes him chuckle darkly and yank it out. He takes the knife and starts making light scratches on Maria, occasionally cutting deeper as Amelia continues to move forward. The arc reactor falters again and suddenly thick, thorny vines are wound around Amelia’s body.

“Unwanted!” Maria gasps, lying as limp as a ragdoll on the black floor of the unholy space they’re all trapped in.

“Unloved.” Howard spits, joining the rhythm in the same low murmur not two seconds after Maria.

Amelia gags and chokes, seemingly to dislodge her right arm from her side before she takes the scalpel in her hand and slits the corners of her mouth open before dropping it on the ground and forcing her hand down her throat. Tony’s whimpers are a bit louder now as he watches her jaw unhinge itself as she reaches further, hearing her asphyxiating and gagging as more violent gushing of blood and the black substance that reminds Tony of more liquidized tar oozes out of her being. As her hand jolts out of her throat and mouth, he sees she’s holding her still beating heart in her hand.

“You took us for granted. You used us. You never loved us.” Amelia wails, collapsing to her knees and letting her head droop a bit. “Loved you like my own and you got me killed… NO! YOU KILLED ME!”

“No! Meme! Loved you!” Tony sobs, too terrified to get any closer to his beloved nanny.

Suddenly, the tree next to Howard’s splits open, straight down the middle. Even through the darkness and the sinister lighting of the strange and Hellish realm, there’s no mistaking Edwin Jarvis for anyone, especially since Tony spent most of his time with Amelia and Jarvis. The sound emitted is like broken China (dishes) and crackling flames. Jarvis is stiff and every movement he makes causes a loud cracking and snapping as he rigidly walks over to their group, stopping to the right of Howard in Tony’s vision. He’s also horribly mangled with the same missing patches of skin and substance, though he’s not bleeding from every orifice like the others. The one difference that stands out is how Jarvis’s eyes are shining black space, looking more like a lack of eyes. Howard continues to torture Maria, while Amelia seems entranced with the beating of her heart in her hands.

“Unwanted!” Maria chants a bit louder.

“Unloved.” Howard growls at the same volume.

“Unappreciated…” Amelia emits, her voice lackluster, even as they continue their chants in a softer volume.

“Anthony Edward Stark. You are poison. You kill everything you touch. Your bloodline is a plague on this earth.” Jarvis states through the breaking and crunching of his jaw bones, his tone as casual as if her were announcing that dinner is served, as he pulls a couple large kitchen knives from his uniform. “The world will never survive this disgusting outbreak. You will poison this universe until all that’s left is your corpse, for you have no soul.”

“I no bad! I good! I share!” Tony sobs, wanting desperately for everything to stop and for him to at least be left alone in the blackness.

Another tree, one next to Amelia’s, creaks and snaps. The next person falls from above and gets tangled in the branches of the tree. Tony watches in horror as the man’s tendons in his arm are caught by one of the branches and is ripped away from the body that continues to fall. Once the body hits the ground, Tony’s arc reactor light glitches once more. When it alights again, the broken body of Edwin Jarvis Jr., his pseudo-brother and Evelyn’s flesh and blood- which  a lot of is missing from his as well, though more so than the others- brother lies on his abdomen, his head stuck tilted to one side. One arm missing from the elbow down, the other down to bone and barely wrapped in tendons while one leg is hanging on by a single tendon and the other is missing entirely- right at the hip. His suit, modeled after his father’s, is in tatters.

“Unwanted!” Maria.

“Unloved.” Howard.

“Unappreciated.” Amelia.

“Uncurable.” Jarvis.

“You never flinch. You sold weapons to everyone. Only stopping to reconsider your sins when it came back to bite you in the ass.” Edwin Jarvis Jr. sputters through the blood pouring out of his mouth and slashed throat. “You’re not from around here. You are the spawn of Satan himself.”

Yet another tree groans and creaks, being blasted apart by a familiar, but seemingly archaic repulsor blast. The sound of exploding bombs and suffocation fill the air as Obadiah Stane comes tumbling in barely encased in the first Iron Man suit Tony had ever made. While still being as zombie- like as the others, Stane is even more distinct in appearance, looking like Freddy Kroger and one of his victims all at once. Stane is the only other one standing as he approaches Tony, who’s doing his best not to scream and wail.

“Unwanted!” Maria breathes louder.

“Unloved.” Howard spits again, making Maria scream as he breaks another of her ribs.

“Unappreciated.” Amelia sheds a single, black tear.

“Uncurable.” Jarvis sneering in disgust.

“Unearthly…” Edwin chokes out.

“Well, well, well, Tony Stark. Stark Inc. doesn’t do weapons anymore. No, doesn’t participate in the arms manufacture.” Stane says, clearly amused by the whole thing. “And yet… Tony, you do. Oh sure, the weapons are much more specialized and only given to the people you see fit. And who are those people? Assassins…”

As Stane speaks, Natasha and Clint are dropped into view, battered and bleeding while they hang, strung up like marionettes.

“The oh so righteous Captain America.”

Steve is dangling in much the same fashion and state as Clint and Natasha.

“And every damned agent at that organization that’s too big for it’s britches run by the Hell-hath-no-Fury, oh wait… Hell hath Fury, Nick Fury. A demon in disguise.” Stane continues as he watches Nick Fury dangle over their heads along with Coulson and countless other bodies that seem faceless to him before Stane starts into a dark rendition of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.’ “Kill and mangle all you love, what creature of dark are you? Up in your little tower so high, like a murderer in the night. Kill and mangle all you love, what creature of dark are you…”

Another tree, the last that is clearly visible to Tony as he cries, is stabbed and injected with a purple liquid that makes the tree glow before it explodes into chunks that dissolve into a rancid black smoke. There’s an echo of screams and the sound of breaking glass. Suddenly, Evelyn is lowered slowly into sight, lying on a gurney with scalpels, saws, and other blades sticking out of her body. She still has her skin and doesn’t appear to be a rotten corpse- yet. Though she’s bleeding in all the places the blades are stuck into her delicate skin that has cracks that you would expect to see on a vintage porcelain doll. Her eyes are glowing red-violet as she stares calmly and blankly at him. Her motions are stiff, yet somehow fluid and graceful as she has always been. She drops into a pose she used when she had performed her college dance routine for him, her limbs emitting the same sound made when a porcelain doll’s arm rubs against its porcelain body- a dull scraping sound not that different from nails on a chalkboard. Tony shudders.

Maria’s turn, “Unwanted!”

Then Howard’s, “Unloved.”

Then Amelia’s, “Unappreciated…”

Next is Jarvis, “Uncurable.”

Edwin, “Unearthly…”

 And Stane, “Unquelled.”

“Tony, you didn’t even notice I was missing. You never really cared if I was around unless you needed me to quiet the demons in your mind and make you forget your sins… I was only ever a method of damage control to you...” Evelyn states, her tone indicating she isn’t entirely here in her mind. “You never cared about me… You always slept with whoever you felt like. Never noticed that I loved you and never realized I was serious when I pledged myself to you…”

Maria, Howard, Amelia, Jarvis, Edwin, and Stane each pull a blade from Evelyn’s cracking porcelain frame and start to encircle and close in on Tony. Their chanting gradually rising in volume with the addition of Evelyn’s single word accusation.

“Unwanted!”

“Unloved!”

“Unappreciated!”

“Uncurable!”

“Unearthly!”

“Unquelled!”

But all through the chanting, Evelyn’s accusation remains the same empty whisper that slices through the shouts and each person starts to cut into Tony’s three year old body, “Undevout.”

Tony screams as much as his lungs will allow, pleading for it all to end as he’s jostled all around while each person tries to cut off a piece of him.

“You can make it stop, Tony…” Evelyn says in her quiet whisper with the same smile as a porcelain doll in a horror movie. “ _You_ can control the damage. All you have to do is take out that little machine… That glowing metal piece from your chest and it can all be over…”

Tony manages to get his bloodied and mangled arms free from two of his captors, all of them still shouting their single worded accusations, and desperately tries to get a grip on the arc reactor, finding that Amelia and Jarvis are trying to stop him and recapture his hands. Tony screams louder and tries to thrash within their strong grips.

“No! P’ease! I sowwy!” Tony sobs, his body giving out on him. “Didn’t mean it!”

And soon, everything starts to fade to black as he bawls his eyes out, though he’s sure it’s blood and not tears flowing from his eyes....

 _“And now all your love will be exorcise And we will find your sayings to be paradox And it's an even sum It's a melody It's a battle cry It's a symphony Seven devils all around me Seven devils in my house See they were there when I woke up this morning And I'll be dead before the day is done Seven devils all around you Seven devils in your house See I was dead when I woke up this morning And I'll be dead before the day is done… They can keep me out 'Til I tear the walls 'Til I take your hearts And to take your souls What has been done Cannot be undone In the evil's heart In the evil's soul Seven devils all around you Seven devils in your house See I was dead when I woke up this morning I'll be dead before the day is done Before the day is done_ ” –Florence and the Machine, “Seven Devils”


	4. The Waking World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve calls on the team to assist in calming Tony as his nightmare tears him apart, not knowing their aid isn't making things any better for him. Shortly after, Steve discovers that Tony's coping mechanism is just as 'unconventional' as the man himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this got where it did. One thing led to another and suddenly- well you'll see when you read the chapter. Just, let it happen.

“ _Theres a place that Ive found As far as I can see This place lies within The depths of my dreams In a garden surrounded By fire and trees Through the smoke a silhouette I can barely see… Standing in the rain… Never fall asleep You won’t wake up Destroy the guillotine… I walk with shadows (you have to find a better way) I walk with shadows (the questions I will never say) Hiding from the gallows (they keep me safe and sound) So I walk in shadows (the ways of burning down this house)…_ ”- Escape the Fate, “My Apocalypse”

It’s been a few hours since Steve brought Tony up to his floor and let the engineering genius snuggle with him. With the anxious fluttering in his stomach, he knew he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, Steve can’t help watching Tony sleep, on high alert for the smaller man to suddenly jolt awake and attempt to rip the only thing keeping him alive out of his chest. He jumps as thunder rumbles outside, wondering if Thor’s awake or if it’s a natural storm. Steve soon gets his answer as he hears the rain gently rapping on the window, letting his thoughts wander. How long has Tony been suffering like this without anyone knowing? He supposes that if Evelyn isn’t too traumatized when they get her back that he’ll have to have a conversation with her about his comrade. Steve wonders if she’ll take offense or clam up if he asks about whether she took over as Tony’s nurse maid once Amelia had passed… It’s entirely possible, but for now, he mostly wants to understand what’s going on with his peculiar co-leader.

“Captain, I must warn you that based off of Sir’s vitals, he is entering his Rapid Eye Movement phase in his sleep cycle.” JARVIS announces, seeming to have a nervous tone, if that’s even possible for an AI- though considering it’s Tony’s AI, JARVIS probably is sentient and capable of such things.

“What usually happens, JARVIS?” Steve asks, knowing he isn’t a proper substitute for the petite female Tony normally shares the bed with.

“Sir usually remains quite calm and still for approximately fifteen minutes before he starts to tremble and later thrash about. There is nothing that can prevent those, I’m afraid, so the only thing that can be done is to restrain him is he tries to dislodge the arc reactor, thought you may need help since Sir will recognize that you are not Madam.” JARVIS answers. “He’s not violent but he is persistent and quite strong when he is in a state of panic.”

“I don’t know if I can restrain him without breaking him… He’s so frail looking after neglecting his body for so long…” Steve confesses, absent-mindedly rubbing Tony’s back.

“Shall I call upon the others for assistance?” JARVIS suggests.

“Yeah, I’d like to have a few minutes to explain what’s going on before I start having them grab limbs.” Steve responds, frowning at the idea of having to tell the others his newly acquired Intel without Tony’s permission.

“Very good, Captain.” JARVIS responds.

As Steve had agreed to, JARVIS wakes each of the other Avengers and takes them up to Tony’s floor via the elevator. Even Thor came, having come back to Midgard while he contemplated what to do about his brother. Most of them had questioned JARVIS, but after getting a response that Steve was going to explain it all, they just heaved themselves out of bed. The hazy-headed group files into Tony’s bedroom upon JARVIS’s instruction and are even more confused as they see Tony clinging to Steve.

“Why.” Natasha states, her voice a bit scratchy from sleep as she readjusts her tee shirt and pajama pants.

“I think we’d all like to know, Steve.” Clint agrees, glaring at their leader.

“Is something amiss with our inventor?” Thor asks, the only one with some semblance of clarity.

“You could say that.” Steve sighs.

“Did he finally black out?” Bruce questions, looking a bit more awake.

“No, but I had JARVIS pull a bit of cheap shot to get him into bed.” Steve answers.

“What? Did you have to sleep with him first?” Clint questions, too tired to get any humor or enjoyment out of the situation.

“No, Clint. JARVIS played a recording of Tony with Evelyn to get him to relax and fall asleep.” Steve explains.

“Like a sex tape or something?” Natasha asks, disgust clear on her face.

“NO! Dear Lord, no!” Steve negates, wondering how that’s the conclusion she came to. “JARVIS, can you please show them the video?”

“Of course, Captain, projecting it now.” JARVIS agrees and everyone turns to the wall across from the bed to watch the projected movie.

Once it’s over, everyone sits still and contemplates what they just saw. Like when Steve saw it, all of their previous assumptions make them feel awful and a bit shallow. Bruce is the first to turn to the pair as Tony starts to tremble and whimper in his sleep.

“Captain, there isn’t much time left for explanations.” JARVIS warns.

“Right… So I got JARVIS to herd you all up here because I’m going to need help restraining him. Apparently his nightmares get him severely worked up to the point that he may try to rip the arc reactor out of his chest. JARVIS had me stay with Tony because of that fact since the last time Tony was left alone, Evelyn barely came in time to stop him from taking it out.” Steve explains, tightening his grip on Tony a bit as the man starts escalating in his movements. “And I’m afraid I might break him if I try to restrain him by myself so everyone grab a limb.”

They each look to each other in uncertainty for what seems like hours before Bruce gently grabs a hold of Tony’s right arm after Steve lays Tony on his back on top of himself. Clint and Natasha sigh before the archer takes Tony’s right leg while she takes his left arm. Thor joins them, gently but firmly gripping Tony’s left leg. Steve keeps his arms around Tony’s torso as he starts to thrash. As they listen, they can hear Tony’s whimpers getting louder. Within minutes it escalates to crying and screaming, along with much more violent thrashing as Steve narrowly avoids Tony’s skull smashing into his nose.

“Shit!” Natasha growls as Tony manages his arm free, seeing that Bruce has also lost his hold.

“I can’t keep hands away from the reactor, you guys have got to grab him!” Steve grunts, feeling awful as Tony starts sobbing in his sleep-though the super soldier is wondering if Tony is even still a asleep at this point.

“Grab his arm again, Natasha!” Bruce urges, getting a hold of Tony’s right arm again.

“Got it, got it!” Natasha breathes, gaining a stable hold on the sleeping man’s left arm, not noticing her nails digging into his arm.

After a couple more minutes, Tony goes slack. Steve meets each person’s eyes, everyone questioning if the worst is over since Tony is still sobbing. The restrained engineer’s eyes open slowly as he starts struggling, wondering if he wasn’t lucky enough to wake up but to only move into a different torturous nightmare.

“Lemme go…” Tony sobs, struggling against his teammates. “Didn’t mean to… ‘M sowwy!”

A bit startled at his reaction, everyone except Steve lets go of Tony. None of them thinks the night can get any stranger, but Tony seems determined to prove them wrong. He rolls over in Steve’s relaxed grip and cries into the larger man’s chest for a moment before his rattled and over-tired brain pieces together that the person he’s snuggled against isn’t his wonderful nanny- in fact, the person isn’t even female…

“You… you’re… You’re not Meme…” Tony sniffles in a small voice, clearly confused as he tries to wrench himself away from the super soldier. “Lemme go! I wanna go home! I wan Meme!”

“Tony… hey, Tony?” Steve says softly, tightening his grip ever so slightly while everyone watches in silent concern. “Look at me, buddy…”

Tony calms himself a bit, remembering what Howard had said about throwing fits and how it wouldn’t get him anywhere but the floor after a good smack. He eyes Steve warily, still sniffling and shaking a bit.

“Hi, Tony…” Steve says, feeling a bit at a loss as he sits up in the bed and pulls Tony into his lap like a small child- noticing an odd and damp warmth that he’d have to address Tony about once the others left. “Come back to us, Tony. You’re awake and you’re in the Avengers’ Tower you built. JARVIS had me stay bring you up to bed after you fell asleep in your workshop. He had me stay with you because he knew you would have nightmares and try to hurt yourself. I had to call the others to help keep you from hurt yourself because we couldn’t wake you up.”

Tony’s brain starts to process all of the things Steve is telling him. He starts to remember how JARVIS had played the video of him and Evelyn… He must have fallen asleep and he just knows that Steve managed to convince JARVIS to play it. Damn it, he really should’ve made sure his AI couldn’t use that against him. He should have directly told JARVIS that low-blows like that were forbidden too, especially if someone else is around. Tony closes his eyes for a moment, realizing Steve is sort of rocking him and rubbing his back. He groans and buries his face in his hands.

“Fuck…” Tony mutters.

Everyone seems to let out a collective sigh of relief that their genius teammate seems to have come back to them.

“It’s good to have you among us again!” Thor rejoices as Natasha and Clint glare at him, obviously resenting his chipper attitude at such an odd hour of the morning/late night.

“Wish I could say the same.” Tony states bluntly, clearly not enthused at all.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Bruce asks, wondering if the nerves attacking him are what first time parents feel since he just saw Tony acting like a toddler upon waking.

“I’m fine. Just go back to bed guys.” Tony dismisses.

“Alright, but I want to talk to you later. Have JARVIS call me up if you need me.” Bruce insists, resting a hand on Tony’s shoulder before following the others out.

“Tony, we really need to talk.” Steve says, feeling the damp warmth from earlier going cold.

“Why? Why are you still here and intent on making this worse?” Tony demands, his anger starting to surface a bit to mingle with his grief, discomfort and anxiety.

“Because I can’t tell if you were sweating a lot from having a nightmare or if you wet yourself.” Steve answers in a gentle voice, keeping a hold of Tony.

Tony feels like his body can’t decide whether to go pale and cold or blush and overheat as he wishes a bomb would just drop right on his head and kill him. He just desperately wishes to not exist at the moment. He hasn’t had this problem since the last time Evelyn was gone. For some reason he feels like he loses himself and all control when she leaves… Maybe she was right when she appeared in his nightmare to tell him that he never loved her, that she’s only there for damage control…

“Tony, please talk to me.” Steve pleads in a gentle voice, afraid that Tony’s only trying to act like himself when he’s still in the same frame of mind he woke up in.

“JARVIS?” Tony prompts.

“Engaging privacy buffer now, Sir.” JARVIS assures him.

“Okay, yes, I pissed myself because of all that Turkish coffee and ice water I drank earlier, but you didn’t exactly leave me to be able to take a piss before I went to Hell.” Tony snaps, trying to remove himself from Steve’s lap only to find himself stuck there.

“This has happened before, hasn’t it?” Steve gently pushes, realizing that Tony usually gets snarky when he’s trying to hide something.

There’s nothing but silence between them as Tony refuses to answer.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Steve says, rubbing Tony’s back as the man visibly deflates. “What’s going on, Tony? What can I do?”

“You can’t do anything, Steve.” Tony sighs, practically jamming the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I don’t even understand this bullshit myself. Evelyn’s the one who gets it. She studied clinical psychology in college.”

“She’s been taking care of you and helping you stay afloat, hasn’t she?” Steve questions, amazed as Tony actually leans into him, resting his head on his broad shoulder.

“More than I care to admit and more than you get to know about.” Tony confesses. “I just…”

Tony sighs heavily, feeling as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Steve frowns and contemplates how to proceed.

“We’ll get her back. I have an unfortunate feeling I know what’s happened to her.” Steve assures him. “In the meantime, what would Evelyn do for you? Would you let me step in for her for now?”

“I can’t tell you that and no…” Tony responds feeling awful.

“Would you like me to get Bruce back up here?” Steve offers, hoping he can find some way to help Tony. “The way he was before he left seemed to indicate that he’s not going to bed any time soon.”

Tony doesn’t say anything, but he nods.

“Can I at least help you clean up a bit?” Steve inquires cautiously.

“I guess if it will get you out of here and Bruce back up here.” Tony submits, though Steve senses something like relief in his voice.

Steve allows Tony to climb of his lap and they strip the bed of its linens, tossing them down the laundry shoot. They put clean linens from the hall closet on the bed, including a mattress protector for safe measures. Neither say a word through the whole thing.

“You should probably go shower or something…” Tony suggests, remembering that he not only pissed himself, but all over Steve too as he scrubs a hand through his hair and averts his eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry… I… I didn’t realize you stayed with me or that it would happen…”

“I will, but Tony?” Steve responds, coming around the bed to stand in front of the smaller man.

“What…” Tony wonders warily.

Tony notes that (officially) the waking world is almost as bad as the sleeping realm. Steve embraces Tony, making the engineer squeak in surprise. At first Tony just awkwardly stands there but ultimately gives into the inviting and caring touch, actually reciprocating. Steve isn’t sure what’s going through his own head, but he feels a sudden protectiveness over Tony, almost a paternal sense. Guess having another adult wake up in your arms feeling and acting like helpless child will do that…

“Don’t hesitate to come find me if you need someone… I admit I feel like an ass for not realizing you’ve been hurting all this time and I want you to know I’m sorry…” Steve tells him, kissing Tony’s temple. “After tonight, I can’t help feeling kind of protective and I want you to be okay.”

That did it. Tony starts to cry again, holding onto Steve like a lifeline. No one had ever tried to make things right or understand Tony outside of Amelia, Bruce, Edwin Jr., and Evelyn. Truth be told, Tony is sure that his mother stopped caring about him because all he seemed to bring to her life was pain…

“I’m sorry, Tony… I wasn’t trying to upset you.” Steve apologizes, feeling infinitely worse.

“No, Cap, you did what only a few people have ever done.” Tony sniffles, pulling away to wipe his face with his sleeve. “Not many people care to know me- the real me.”

“I hope I’m allowed to be part of the ones who do.” Steve says, kissing Tony’s forehead. “JARVIS, call Bruce up for us, please?”

“Right away, Captain.” JARVIS responds.

“Aren’t you going to go take a shower?” Tony asks, all stuffed up and feeling awful.

“Not until Bruce gets up here. I don’t think I can feel okay unless I know you’re with someone.” Steve confesses, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh…” Tony replies, feeling a war wage inside himself about whether he wants to let Steve in and help him or not. “A bubble bath…”

“What?” Steve questions, confused by Tony’s response.

“Evelyn usually helps me into a bubble bath with this lavender chamomile stuff that she made after I wake up like this…” Tony explains through gritted teeth as if it were a painful thing to admit.

Steve is quiet for a moment before he remembers that it was something he’d asked Tony about earlier. It takes a little longer for him to realize why Tony’s telling him.

“Can I help you get set up in the tub?” Steve tries, hoping that’s the direction Tony is heading.

Steve assumes he’s right when Tony hugs him and nods into the super soldier’s chest. Steve can’t help but smile softly- and a bit sorrowfully- at the apparent desire for reassurance and love as he hugs Tony back. When they break out of their hug, Tony takes Steve’s hand with a sheepish half-smile. Steve leads Tony into the bathroom and starts the water, having Tony adjust it to his liking before he helps the engineer strip out of his soiled clothes and into the tub, pouring in the special bubble bath mixture that Evelyn made and left sitting on the edge of the tub. While Steve is running his fingers through Tony’s hair, Bruce enters the bedroom and then into the bathroom. He smiles warmly at the sight he’s greeted with. Perhaps Steve will be joining their peculiar little family once Evelyn returns…

“Hey, sweetie…” Bruce calls softly, drawing their attention to him as he goes to kneel on the memory foam bathmat next to the huge bathtub/Jacuzzi.

“Hi…” Tony greets in a small voice.

Steve’s face displays his confusion at the greeting, watching Bruce plant a kiss to Tony’s forehead and run his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“Steve’s been taking good care of you, hasn’t he?” Bruce practically coos at Tony.

Tony nods as Bruce takes the plastic red cup from the edge of the tub behind the genius and starts wetting Tony’s hair while holding a hand above Tony’s eyes to prevent the water from getting in his face. Steve looks a bit dumbstruck as he watches the process repeat once more.

“Is there something I should know?” Steve voices, looking between the two and sighing as he sees Tony starting to tear up again.

“I assume you know about Evelyn’s degree in clinical psychology?” Bruce starts, continuing to bathe Tony.

“Yes, I do, but how is that related?”

“Well, she was attempting to have therapy sessions with Tony. Needless to say, those hurt more than they helped.” Bruce explains, gently massaging baby shampoo into Tony’s hair. “After all the more conventional therapies failed, Evelyn started looking into unconventional but effective coping mechanisms. We talked with Tony about the ones we thought he should try, gave them each a fair shot, and the one that stuck was Age Play.”

“Age Play? What is that?” Steve questions, scooting out of the way so Bruce can rinse the shampoo out.

“It’s not easy to describe, but I’ll try my best. If you’re still curious, JARVIS will help guide you in the right direction later. The best way I can describe is an act of mental regression to escape to a time in the person’s life where things hadn’t gone awry and everything was simple and positive.” Bruce elaborates, moving onto gently scrubbing a bit of baby conditioner into Tony’s hair. “For Tony, that’s usually about a year old because you-know-who hadn’t taken any interest in him because he was still is in his earliest stages of development after birth.”

“I really don’t know who…” Steve says, trying desperately to piece it all together and not let his automatic judgments filter the whole thing in negative light.

Bruce nods his head in a way that signals to Steve for him to lean in. As Steve does, Bruce leans towards the other man.

“Howard. I can’t say his name out loud or Tony will really fall apart.” Bruce whispers with a sad smile aimed at Tony while he starts to rinse the conditioner out.

“He was really that bad?”

Bruce nods sadly to Steve before moving on to grabbing an almost plush-like washcloth, covering it in baby-friendly body wash, and starting to gently clean him up. Steve simply watches, listening to Bruce coo at Tony about how good he’s being and how he is for letting Steve take care of him. It’s really sweet in way if Steve doesn’t think about the fact that Tony is a full grown man in his late thirties/early forties (he honestly doesn’t know which because Tony doesn’t like to tell his age, claiming it makes no difference in reality as long as he can still fully function- as if he were ever fully functional). At the same time, he can’t ignore Tony’s age and it’s not really disgusting or anything of the like, it’s just uncomfortable… Steve is brought out of his thoughts as he hears the tub draining and watches Bruce pull out a large, fluffy blue towel.

“Steve, it might be best if you go shower and get some rest.” Bruce suggests, wrapping Tony in the towel and hoisting him onto his hip which makes Steve wonder if Tony had really neglected eating that much that Bruce can lift him.

“Yeah, you’re right. Apparently, I have some research to do.” Steve agrees, getting to his feet.

“Steve’s gonna go bye-bye now, sweetie.” Bruce says in a soft voice to Tony, who whines and reaches for Steve. “He wants to say goodbye.”

Steve, despite being very confused and uncomfortable, humors Tony, taking the man into his arms and kissing his damp forehead. Steve gives him a gentle squeeze before handing him back to Bruce.

“Night, guys.” Steve says with an awkward smile before he departs.

“Ready to get dressed and have some snuggles, baby?” Bruce asks in a soft voice he lays Tony down on the bed.

In response, Tony rubs at his eyes and whines. Bruce smiles warmly, slipping the duffel bag out from under the bed. He unzips the bag, grabs a pacifier from a small fabric pouch on top, and slips it into Tony’s mouth. Bruce still feels a little sad that Tony does best with this coping mechanism since it's one that most people outside of the little community that formed thinks it’s some sick perversion and sexual kink. If anyone outside of the Avengers and Evelyn found out, Tony would be ruined, mocked, and discredited for everything. And why? Because a man who’s only happy and safe memories are being an infant and he’s so plagued by nightmares and all the traumas in his past that he finds peace in pretending he’s still that same blissfully ignorant baby being sheltered from the world? Bruce pushes those thoughts from his head, pulls out an adult diaper and fastening it onto Tony, who seems to coo at the familiar, safe feeling of the padding encasing his rear and privates.

“Feel better, baby boy?” Bruce wonders in soft voice as he pulls out Tony’s favorite fleece footie pajamas.

Bruce lays the pajamas out on the bed and lays the infantile minded man onto them, gently slipping his legs and arms into the right places and zipping them up. He picks Tony up and settles the small man on his hip. In truth, Bruce is not much taller than Tony, but he still feels a bit bigger- especially now that Tony has starved himself so severely. Tony makes a confused sound and watches Bruce’s face as they are relocated to the kitchen.

“Tony, sweetie, I know you’re not going to eat a big meal for me so we have to make one of your bottles.” Bruce explains in a gentle but somewhat stern voice as he pulls out a baby bottle from the cupboard already filled with a meal supplement shake.

Clearly, Tony’s adult mind knows that when he ‘grows up again,’ he’ll be in big trouble with Bruce, who will helicopter him constantly. As his adult mind registers this fact, it informs his infantile side that ‘Papa’ isn’t happy, which instantly starts the tears and crying. Tony’s pacifier falls out of his mouth and gets wedged between them while Bruce warms the bottle and gently rocks Tony from side to side.

“Baby, no more tears or you’re going to make yourself sick.” Bruce gently insists, looping his finger through the little ring on Tony’s pacifier before it can fall. “Shhh, you’re alright. It’s just your bedtime baba…”

As the bottle in question is grabbed by Bruce, Tony starts to calm down. Tony’s never bad when he’s little so he never gets punished while he’s little. However, if he’s bad when he’s not, Bruce and Evelyn tend to gang up on him and ensure that he knows whatever he did was unacceptable, though they never use physical punishments. Normally, it’s being deprived of cuddles or forms of entertainment, which they learned are the most effective punishments for someone who craves love, attention, and positive touch.

Bruce knows this very well, but he hates to have to punish Tony without Evelyn and her agreement because she does his relaxation at night so he can sleep- hopefully without nightmares. He’s also never had Tony in his little mindset for extended periods of time without Evelyn’s help. Bruce internally sighs, hoping that they can find Evelyn before Tony tries to commit suicide again. Only Bruce and Evelyn know exactly what goes on in those dreams, about the zombie-fied versions of deceased loved ones tearing him apart in anger and grief when he’s trapped in the body of a younger self and watching the bodies of the living dangling like morbid marionettes above his head.

Bruce settles them into Tony’s California King sized bed, cradling Tony to his chest like an infant as he offers him the bottle. Tony hesitates for a moment before taking the spout in his mouth and slowly nursing it, secretly relishing the nourishment after starving himself for over two weeks. He knows that if he hadn’t been able to take to Age Play as a coping mechanism that Bruce and Evelyn would have admitted him to a psychiatric ward because he was always doing something that Evelyn had identified as some form of self-harm or neglect, or generally unhealthy behavior. In truth, he feels like a part of him was always desperate to participate in Age Play where he knew everything would be taken care of and he would be safe no matter what.

“JARVIS, would you play the recording for us?” Bruce requests in a whisper as he smiles softly at Tony. “We may need it on repeat for a couple hours.”

“My pleasure, Dr. Banner.” JARVIS agrees.

The video projects itself on the door on the door to the bedroom and provides the only light. After Tony finishes the meal replacement shake, Bruce burps him and rocks him as he starts crying. Bruce knew that in such a fragile state, it would practically break Tony’s heart to see Evelyn but he also knew it would bring him comfort to hear her voice.

“Dr. Banner, when Young Sir is calm, I have a call from Madam on hold.” JARVIS informs them as he pauses the looping video.

“Hear that, baby boy? Mama’s calling to talk to you. Can we put our paci in and answer her?” Bruce soothes, immensely relieved as Tony starts to calm himself and accepts the soother. “Go ahead and put her through, please, JARVIS.”

“Bruce? Tony?” Evelyn’s voice comes through.

“Hello, love. Tony’s here too, he’s just in that mind set.” Bruce greets.

“Oh, Tony, I’m so sorry I’m not there. They wouldn’t tell me a thing about why they brought me to this place and now that they’re running tests on me, I’m finally allowed to call ya.” Evelyn responds. “I can’t say I care for Phil anymore.”

“Phil Coulson? Why?” Bruce questions, starting to worry.

“He’s the one who brought me into this agency that’s been treating me like a lab rat.” Evelyn explains, sounding more fatigued by the second.

Tony starts fussing as his adult brain realizes what’s been going on and goes into a fit of sobs.

“Oh, sweet pea, it’s okay. I’m fine. Just shook up more than a mama rattlesnake’s tail is all.” Evelyn soothes, recognizing the sound of her lover and occasionally baby boy’s cries. “Mama’s comin’ home soon, I promise. Even if they aren’t releasing me, they’ve given me enough injections for me to break out without breakin’ a sweat.”

“He’s starved himself for over two weeks, Ev. On top of that, he’s kept himself up and locked in the workshop for nearly two weeks consuming nothing but Turkish coffee and water.” Bruce informs her. “From what I can tell, he was so afraid to sleep that he just refused to and he knew his body would give into fatigue if he ate anything so he skipped every meal. The only reason he went to bed is because Steve and JARVIS ganged up on him. Steve stayed with him while he slept and called in the rest of us to help restrain him when the nightmare started.”

The only sound that can be heard on the other side is quiet gasps and something that sounds like Evelyn trying to muffle the sound of her crying.

“Oh, Tony, baby, if I’d known you’d fall apart so bad if I left for that trip, I would have told them never in a million years, sweet pea.” Evelyn sniffles, clearly feeling awful though her words seems to calm Tony a bit as he realizes she really never would have left if she’d known. “I hope you can forgive Mama.”

Bruce chuckles a bit as he watches Tony reach for the ceiling with the classic and childish motion of what most parents would call ‘grabby hands.’

“If you saw him reaching for the ceiling, hoping you’d pick him up right now, I think you’d be sure he’s forgiven you. I can’t stay mad at his Mama.” Bruce assures her with another chuckle as he kisses Tony’s forehead and tickles him, making Tony giggle.

“Aww, he sounds like an angel!” Evelyn coos, her mind switching gears as she realizes they hadn’t discussed a very important discovery. “So what did Steve say about our unconventional therapy technique?”

“He’s confused and a bit uncomfortable, but I’m sure he’s already asking for JARVIS to help him look into all of this.” Bruce answers with a sigh. “He handled little Tony very naturally and easy though. Tony woke up in his usual three year old mindset and was asking for your mother…”

“I’m glad he’s taking it well. I still don’t think we should explain it to the others until we see how Steve takes it. If all goes well, we can talk to Tony when he’s a big boy again.” Evelyn replies. “I’ve got to go for now though. I should be home in a couple days.”

“Do you have time for Tony’s relaxation routine?” Bruce ventures, slipping Tony’s pacifier in his mouth as he notices the younger-minded trying to suck on his fingers.

“I’ll always have time. Those experimenters and agents can go do themselves if they think they can stop me for looking after Tony.” Evelyn answers, making Bruce chuckle.

Normally, Evelyn would never say such a thing and was very mild mannered and non-aggressive but whatever SHIELD has been doing to her has made her very sassy, to say the least. Bruce revels in the calmer atmosphere as Evelyn starts singing to a heavy-eyed Tony and feels a wave a sadness and affection roll over him as she repeats Tony’s ‘special secret’ before she says goodnight to the already sleeping engineer in his arms and hangs up as Phil Coulson starts hassling her to finish up the tests so she can leave. Bruce resituates himself and Tony so they’re laying down and finds himself absent-mindedly rubbing the little guy’s back as he wonders if Tony will be stuck in his headspace until Evelyn comes home. He can’t help but feel that emptiness in his chest at her absence. They’d been dating for quite some time now and he hoped like no other that she would be alright.

_“Seems that I have been held in some dreaming state A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber Until I realize that it was you who held me under Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids Shaking through my skull, through my spine And down through my ribs No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden… No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

_And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack And all around the world was waking, I never could go back 'Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open And finally it seemed that the spell was broken And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open… No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone No more crawling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden… No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world…”_ –Florence and the Machine, “Blinding”


	5. The Real Tony Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally meets Tony Stark in all his sweet, innocent and scarred glory. Their plans to 'save' Evelyn are put on the back burner due to a certain genius's protest at being left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kind of a lengthy chapter and I admit, as much as I hate to, I'm going to end up hurting Tony more and then some backsliding occurs. Oh Lordy-Loo this is going to get painful and dramatic...

“ _Come on skinny love just last the year Pour a little salt we were never here My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer I tell my love to wreck it all Cut out all the ropes and let me fall My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Right in the moment this order's tall And I told you to be patient And told you to be fine And I told you to be balanced And I told you to be kind In the morning I'll be with you But it will be a different "kind" I'll be holding all the tickets And you'll be owning all the fines_

 _Come on skinny love what happened here Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Sullen load is full; so slow on the split And I told you to be patient And I told you to be fine And I told you to be balanced And I told you to be kind And now all your love is wasted? And then who the hell was I? And now I'm breaking at the britches And at the end of all your lines Who will love you? Who will fight? Who will fall far behind?_ ”-Bon Iver, “Skinny Love”

In the late morning, nearly noon, Bruce is awoken by the bawling of baby-minded Tony Stark and he instantly knows what’s wrong. With all the fluid consumption, Tony’s slumber was disturbed by a wet diaper- the absolute worst thing to happen (with the exception of being alone) when’s in his therapeutic headspace. Bruce quickly stretches and rubs the sleep from his eyes as he hauls himself out of bed, slipping Tony’s pacifier back in his mouth. As Bruce changes Tony’s soiled diaper and slips a clean one on him, he realizes that the younger minded man must have completely forgotten about Evelyn’s call and admission that SHIELD had practically kidnapped her. He knows that Tony would have forced himself back into his adult mindset if he had remembered and promptly jumped into a suit to go burn down SHIELD. If Bruce is being honest, which he always tries to be, he’s sure he would let the Big Guy rampage through HQ if he didn’t have to work on getting Tony back to a healthy weight and feeling good enough to be an adult again.

“Dr. Banner, Captain Rogers is requesting entrance to young Sir’s penthouse.” JARVIS informs as Bruce takes Tony in his arms, grabbing Cap Amee and the baby blanket from the duffel bag.

“Let him in.” Bruce responds, kissing Tony’s cheek as he takes the stuffed bear and plush blanket.

As Bruce walks out to the living room, he sees Steve standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. The two men smile at each other, though Steve’s looks a bit awkward and radiates with his discomfort. Tony is blissfully unaware, calmly sucking his pacifier with his eyes closed and head resting against Bruce’s shoulder.

“Could you take him for minute while I set up his play area?” Bruce asks as he approaches his team leader.

“Sure, yeah.” Steve stammers, taking the now fussy Tony into his arms. “Hi, Tony…”

Tony stares at Steve in confusion for a moment before the recognition alights in his tired eyes, seeming to further illuminate the bags and dark circles under them. He babbles a bit behind his pacifier with a shy smile, not noticing Bruce leaving and coming back with a little arch covered in dangling plush figures and a memory foam mattress pad with a specially made fleece covering patterned with chibi versions of all the avengers. Steve chuckles a bit, unable to understand what Tony is saying and realizing that the incoherent baby talk is practically all he hears when Tony’s an adult and explaining one of his convoluted and complex inventions.

“What’s that, little guy?” Steve asks, finding it easier to humor Tony now that he better understands what the smaller man is going through.

“Cap Amee!” Tony says in a childish voice as his pacifier falls out of his mouth.

“Uh…” Steve falters, unsure of whether Tony’s saying what he’s assuming he meant.

“Cap Amee is his teddy bear. It’s the Captain Ameribear that he’s had since he was born.” Bruce explains with a soft smile as he situates the mattress pad and play arch on the floor.

For a moment, all Steve can do is grin stupidly. He always thought Tony hated him with a burning passion and now, he’s getting the inside scoop that Tony’s always thought Steve was his hero and the best. He’s broken out of his thoughts as Tony starts fussing again.

“Here, I’ve got him.” Bruce says, popping the pacifier back in Tony’s mouth as he takes him and lays him on his back under the plush covered arch. “He has an oral fixation. If he doesn’t have his pacifier, he’ll try for his fingers, but he knows he’s not supposed to put them in his mouth.”

“That makes sense.” Steve concedes, though he can’t remember seeing Tony as an adult constantly needing something in his mouth.

“He’ll stay like that all day if I let him, though I know he’s going to be very cranky since he’s going to need fed every two hours.” Bruce says, brushing Tony’s limp bangs away from his eyes. “Do you mind sitting with him while I warm up his bottle?”

“Do you think we could talk a little first?” Steve asks, feeling a bit awkward about being coaxed into babying his teammate.

“Well, I suppose we have a little bit of time since he doesn’t like to eat right after getting up.” Bruce supposes, watching Tony pull at the center plush, which is just white fleece with the image of Evelyn printed on it with crinkling paper on the inside that plays a recording when pulled.

“Mama loves ya, baby boy.” Evelyn’s soft and warm voice coos at Tony.

Tony fusses a bit and pulls another that has Bruce’s image on it.

A recording of Bruce’s voice plays, “Papa’s always here for you, sweetie.”

Steve and Bruce take their seats on the couch not two feet away from Tony. Both are angled slightly towards each other, though still mostly towards the currently infantile minded genius. They watch Tony, who looks like he’s having muscle spasms as he bats aimlessly at the little plush pictures above him. Steve feels even more confused as he hears a tell-tale crinkle when Tony moves his legs. Bruce chuckles at both of them- Tony for his silly and clearly babyish antics and Steve for his innocent confusion and Cheshire Cat-like curiosity.

“Yes, Steve, Tony is wearing a diaper. He ages down to about a year old.” Bruce confirms with an amused, but warm smile. “I presume you have questions about how long we’ve been doing this and such.”

“Yeah, I do. I understand that’s it therapeutic but other than that, even after all the pages JARVIS had me study, I am still lost.” Steve admits, feeling the heat in his cheeks. “I mean why so young? What is this actually doing for him?”

“Those are good questions. He’s so young because every other age that he can remember was spent in some sort of pain and loneliness, no matter how much Amelia and Jarvis tried to fight it and encouraged their daughter and son to help Tony feel loved.” Bruce answers, with a sad and appreciative look on his face before looking to see Tony almost rolled onto his stomach after all his squirming around. “Tony, baby boy, no-no!”

Bruce gets up from the couch and crosses over to Tony, setting the plush arch off to the side.

“Is he not allowed to lay on his stomach?” Steve wonders aloud as Bruce picks Tony up and carries him over to the couch.

“Sort of. It hurts his chest because of the pressure put on the arc reactor. The first time he rolled himself off of the mattress pad and onto his stomach, his weight immediately pressed the arc reactor further into his chest and he cried for almost half the day from the pain. And that was after we gave him some pain relievers.” Bruce tells him, settling the now much more content baby on his lap. “To answer your other question about what he gets out of it, it’s a lot more than you think. Since Tony had a fairly miserable and painful childhood, this is like getting a second chance where he can make much happier memories. In addition to that, he gets a break from all pressures he has in his adult life and has a chance to be taken care of. The most important benefit is the physical and emotional love and support that he receives. He may seem like a tough guy, but every little mean word sticks like acidic super glue and eats away at him little by little.”

“Now I feel like an ass for calling him one…” Steve laments.

Steve realizes that every little comment that he had seen and heard Tony bristle at must be constantly gnawing away at him no matter how much he tries to drown it out or shrug it off. As he considers this, he wonders if that pain from all the harsh things that are said to him are what plague him in his nightmares.

“Bruce, you seemed the least surprised by his nightmare and the need to restrain him… Did you have to help Evelyn with that a lot?” Steve questions, watching Tony starting to doze in Bruce’s arms, cradled to the scientist’s body like an infant. “What are his nightmares about?”

“I can answer the first. Sometimes, I do have to help her restrain him, but sometimes her voice breaks through and he simply wakes up feeling very little.” Bruce supplies, kissing Tony’s forehead. “You’ll have to wait until he’s fully asleep and tucked in before I can answer the other question.”

“Are they that bad?” Steve inquires, piecing together how all of this makes more sense than he originally gave the quirky and odd situation.

“To an extent. I mostly don’t want to discuss it in case he hears me and starts to have the nightmare again. If he does while he’s already little then he won’t stop crying for hours once he wakes and he may try to harm himself in a different way since he’s too little to figure out how to make sense of his gross motor skills.” Bruce elaborates, getting up again to lay Tony back on the mattress pad. “Could you grab one of his blankets from the hamper behind the couch?”

Steve reaches behind the couch, flipping open the hamper and pulling out the top blanket. It’s a fleece no-sew blanket with Big Hero 6 characters and designs printed all over the red material. He takes it over to Bruce and marvels at how much Tony does look like an innocent baby and does have a bit of a baby face, despite his facial hair that’s gotten a bit scruffy, as the smaller man sucks on a bright red pacifier depicting Baymax. The two settle back on the couch, both having their eyes glued on Tony, whose eyes still have dark circles and bags under them.

“JARVIS, play back the recording starting from when Ev actually starts singing and play that on loop at a low volume please.” Bruce requests, feeling more comfortable with answering Steve now that his description of Tony’s nightmares is mostly masked by Evelyn’s voice. “To be honest, I’m surprised that Tony’s survived this long given all the things that have happened to him and the nightmares that return on loop nearly every time he closes his eyes.”

“What happens in them that makes them so terrible?” Steve presses, feeling nervous that even Bruce seems to be holding back a shudder as he recalls the details of Tony’s horrible nightmare.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever even dreamed of being afraid to live through in my sleep.” Bruce starts, looking a bit distant. “It’s usually just the one nightmare… He’s three and left in the dark. Then Maria, his mother, comes out from behind this twisted black tree and a fire starts and illuminates a bunch of similar trees. The thing is, his mother is more like a zombie than the person he remembers her as. And one after another, more people who have played major roles in Tony’s life before they died come out in different ways. They’re all a bit different in appearance but all are like rotting corpses…”

“That sounds worse than some of my nightmares of the war.” Steve says, getting a chill as his artist’s imagination vividly paints a picture in his mind. “Who are they? What do they do, attack him?”

“Towards the end of the nightmare, they do. The people, they’re all the people who were the closest to Tony, Amelia, Jarvis, Edwin Jarvis Jr., Obediah Stane, Maria, and Howard. The thing that I think is even worse than him having to face their rotting corpses as his three year self is that he says they tell him what he did that wronged them, blame him for their deaths, chanting single worded accusations about him…” Bruce describes with an involuntary shudder.

“Like what?”

“Unwanted, unloved, and unearthly to name a few. It was so hard to listen to when he finally told us… It was actually the night of our six month anniversary that he came running into my bedroom, crying with his pants soaked from an accident he’d had. Evelyn and I were just cuddling in our pajamas, thankfully. That was the first time I really got all that involved in his age play therapy. I remember how fast he slipped into his headspace…” Bruce continues, looking pained as he recalls the broken, teetering man stumbling into his room that night. “But I suppose it’s easy to do after having a nightmare about the corpses of your loved ones cutting your three year old self apart with whatever they can use…”

“Poor Tony…” Steve comments, feeling disturbed and sorrowful for his co-leader. “I can’t imagine the trauma he’s gone through to dement his mind to the point that he thinks someone like Amelia or any of the others would hate him and blame him…”

“Tony’s third birthday was spent with mid-level kidnappers that gang raped and beat him. From there, it never got any better because Howard wasn’t keen on paying kidnappers to say the least. He liked to claim that being in those situations would help Tony build character. Evelyn learned about that from her mother, Amelia, who was convinced that Howard had set up the kidnapping that happened on Tony’s third birthday.”

“I thought I knew Howard, but there’s no way he changed that much after the war.” Steve shudders, feeling a deep sympathy for Tony. “Though I guess it explains a lot when it comes to Tony…”

“Tony’s not a dominant personality. It literally drains him to try and be the kind of authority and big-shot public icon that Howard was. The problem is, he’s more afraid of being submissive than wearing himself down. Tony’s been raped more times than anyone’s been able to keep track of, not to mention all the torture he’s endured. Evelyn admitted to me that she wasn’t surprised that Tony appeared to be a womanizing playboy to the rest of the world. He only started all of that to try to gain some semblance of control and prove that he was the one who decided when things happened and how.” Bruce clarifies, finally tearing his gaze away from to Tony to gauge Steve’s reaction. “Honestly, Tony is attracted to both men and women but being kidnapped and raped by strange men has made him afraid to trust his own gender.”

Steve looks as though he’s about to be sick as his mind registers that Bruce just told him that essentially Tony Stark isn’t Tony Stark- not the one that he knew before the discovery of his peculiar therapy method at least. What kind of father allowed his son to be gang raped and tortured? Moreover, how did Maria justify sitting on the sidelines while all this happened?

“Steve, there’s something a little more presently pressing that we need to talk about.” Bruce sighs, realizing that his usually collected leader is definitely not as collected upon hearing of the horrors of his co-leader’s past.

“What’s that?” Steve inquires warily.

“Evelyn.” Bruce responds in a soft voice, not noticing that Tony is beginning to stir.

Moreover, since neither are mind readers, they can’t tell that their friend and teammate is right on the borderline between adult and infantile. Hearing his friend/sister/care giver’s name, the adult side of Tony stops his infantile side’s desire to wriggle about and get the attention of the two men in the room.

“What about her?” Steve pushes, not sure where Bruce is going with this.

“She called the Tower last night when I was starting to get Tony settled in to bed.” Bruce answers.

“That’s not possible, is it?”

“It was definitely her because only she knows about Tony’s age play therapy.”

“What did she say? Did she mention what happened?”

Tony forces himself to stay still and listen, despite his adult self starting to remember the surprise phone call and the itch to just throw on the suit and tear SHIELD a new one at best.

“Agent Coulson snatched her on her way to the airport. She didn’t tell much in the way of details but she mentioned being injected with something and having to be tested. I’m certain she’s at SHIELD, though I don’t know what they want with her.” Bruce replies, shaking his head, clearly confused by it.

After being suppressed for so long and feeling his stomach complain about being empty, Tony’s infantile mind wins out as his pacifier falls from his mind and he starts bawling.

“Well, time’s up.” Bruce chuckles, pushing himself up off the couch. “I need to get him fed before he throws a tantrum. JARVIS, turn the recording off please.”

“What do we need to do about-” Steve starts, getting up as Bruce picks Tony up and places crying infant on his hip.

“Don’t say her name, unless you want to calm him down.” Bruce warns, carrying Tony into the kitchen and strapping him into a cushioned highchair, snapping the tray into place. “I’m going to make him some oatmeal and a bottle and if he’s asleep after, then we’ll discuss it.”

“What about the rest of the team? They have questions and if SHIELD is up to no good, we might need their help.” Steve points out, standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest while Bruce starts preparing the oatmeal and grabs a bottle from the cupboard.

“Have them come up one at a time to meet Tony while he’s in his headspace and then we can go from there.” Bruce answers simply, as he stirs the oatmeal and starts warming the bottle.

Tony has calmed himself down a bit, a result of his adult mind attempting to push his little side away long enough to protest Bruce’s plan.

“No, Papa!” Tony whines, internally rolling his eyes that the childish response is all he can get out between sniffles.

“No what, sweetie?” Bruce asks, turning to look at Tony as he starts dishing up the oatmeal, putting a little cinnamon into Tony’s along with a plastic baby spoon. “What’s the matter, hm?”

“No others…” Tony sniffles as Bruce grabs his bottle and brings it over with his oatmeal.

“You really should meet them, baby boy, because they already have suspicions that you’re a little guy after last night.” Bruce gently disagrees, grabbing the bib from the island counter and putting it around Tony’s neck. “You like having Steve around.”

“Dat diffwent, Papa…” Tony argues, accepting the spoonful of oatmeal Bruce holds up to his mouth.

“How’s it different, Tony?” Steve asks in a gentle voice as he comes into Tony’s view, relaxing his stance.

“You nice, no mattew if I mean…” Tony answers, taking another bite of oatmeal that his Papa holds out to him. “They not nice…”

“Tony, buddy, they’ll be nice or I’ll make them go until they can be nice.” Steve assures him, feeling an ache in his chest as all of the things Bruce told him come to mind.

“Weally?” Tony questions, looking absolutely pitiful as he looks to Steve.

“Really, Tony.” Steve reassures, approaching the high chair and tousling Tony’s bedhead styled hair. “Would it make you feel better if your Papa put you in some big boy clothes?”

Tony simply nods as Bruce continues to feed him.

“I think that sounds reasonable, but you’re going to wear what Papa picks out for you, okay, sweetie?” Bruce qualifies, not really caring if Tony agrees or not as he puts another spoonful of the sweetened oatmeal in Tony’s mouth.

Tony nods again and swallows the food in his mouth before opening it for another bite.

“Who should we start with?” Steve inquires, unsure of who would take it the best.

“I would start with Thor and have Natasha come up last. She’s never been one for anything extreme or strange outside of her work for SHIELD.” Bruce suggests.

“Right, I’ll go get Thor then.” Steve agrees, starting to turn away with a soft smile to Tony.

“Give us about an hour before you bring him up. Tony still has his bottle, then I’ll need to check his diaper and get him dressed.” Bruce instructs, continuing to feed Tony.

“I can do that. I should probably go get dressed myself.” Steve responds, remembering that he had been in such a rush after breakfast with the rest of the team that he hadn’t bothered getting dressed.

“We’ll see you in an hour.” Bruce agrees, smiling at Steve as Tony finishes his oatmeal, some smeared in his facial hair. “Say bye-bye to Steve, sweetie. He’s gonna leave for a bit.”

“Buh-bye…” Tony says in a quiet voice, opening and closing his right hand as his childish way of waving.

“Bye-bye, little guy.” Steve replies, kissing Tony’s cheek before he departs.

After Steve goes through his usual morning routine and gets dressed, he heads back to the communal floor. Upon exiting the elevator, he finds Clint, Natasha, and Thor gathered in the living room. Steve already knows that they’re waiting for him to give them answers, which they won’t get until Bruce meets with them.

“Explain, Rogers. We know you went up Tony’s floor after breakfast.” Natasha demands, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m not allowed to, but Bruce will. He asked me to give him an hour to get Tony ready and then I’m supposed bring each of you up one at a time, starting with Thor.” Steve counters, putting his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture. “So in about ten minutes, Thor will come with me up to Tony’s floor then I’m supposed to come get Clint and then you, Natasha.”

“Why am I the last one?” Natasha interrogates, clearly irritated and mildly offended.

“Because Tony is fragile and Bruce thinks you’ll break him, which is the last thing we need to have happen right now.” Steve responds, tempted to glare right back at her.

“Fine.” Natasha submits with a scowl.

“Alright, Thor, let’s get up there.” Steve sighs, walking to the elevator with the brawny Asgardian.

“What did you mean when you described our inventor as fragile?” Thor wonders aloud, looking Steve over.

“It’s easier for you to see him than for me to explain.” Steve grimaces, unsure of how the god will handle seeing a baby version of Tony.

Bruce looks up from the sleeping ball of Tony, who has his pacifier bobbing rhythmically in his mouth, as the elevator dings. He’s sure that Thor will embrace this therapy the most, but that doesn’t stop him from being apprehensive. Tony had fought him on getting dressed, even though he let Tony wear his favorite black long sleeve shirt and his green cargo pants. The man had bawled himself to sleep after that and Bruce just knows that Tony will wake up sometime while all of the explanations are being given and cry until he gets a diaper change. He watches Thor follow Steve into the living room as both take a seat on the couch across from him and Tony.

“I’m sure you’re confused and concerned by what you see and all that happened last night.” Bruce starts, warily smiling at the god of thunder. “Evelyn started what is called Age Play with Tony as a kind of therapy. She has tried just about everything else to help Tony and once this stuck, she left it at that. Ev and I have been taking care of Tony ever since. To be more specific about what this is, I can best describe it as a mental regression back to infancy in order to escape from the stressors and such of adult life.”

The conversation practically repeats the one Bruce had with Steve about all of it, though Bruce is a little more conservative about the details of Tony’s traumatic past.

“I completely understand.” Thor says, looking the picture of acceptance. “Loki had learned of such things while here on Midgard, or Earth as you call it, and he began to experiment with it. I actually convinced the Allfather to give Loki a probationary period in my care as what you call a little. So far, everyone is perfectly content, especially Loki who has found peace and proven his regret at being weak enough to fall under another’s enticing and control, therefore proving his innocence. So I can certainly support Tony’s involvement as therapeutic.”

“You have no idea how relieved he’ll be when he-” Bruce starts to respond, chuckling as he finds himself cut off by Tony crying. “Wakes up. I guess I should have been expecting that. If you’ll excuse us for a moment, a certain baby boy needs a change.”

Thor gives and affirmative nod and a warm smile as Bruce takes Tony into the nursery next to the bedroom, which he has to input a security code to access.

“So, Loki’s an age player?” Steve converses, genuinely curious about this development.

“Certainly. Loki’s always been a child at heart, which means he’s very impressionable. That fact alone nearly made the Allfather give Loki probation. Once he learned of Loki’s desire to be an age player, he was admittedly disturbed and uncomfortable but allowed me to care for Loki as I had done when he was a wee babe many years ago.” Thor responds with a fond look. “It is wonderful that our genius has found comfort in this therapy. He could do worse.”

Bruce returns with a more mellow Tony, who simply holds onto his Cap Amee and sucks on his pacifier.

“May I hold him?” Thor requests, waving at Tony.

In response, Tony blushes and smiles behind his pacifier. Blushing even more as his diaper crinkles when he situates himself more comfortably on Bruce’s lap.

“What do you say, sweetie?” Bruce murmurs to Tony, kissing his cheek. “Can Uncle Thor hold you?”

Tony nods sheepishly and giggles as Thor seems to stalk over like a cat, implementing a tickle attack before taking Tony in his arms.

“Hello, Little One.” Thor greets warmly, holding Tony like a small child. “Are we having a good day?”

Tony frowns and sadly shakes his head.

“Why is it not a good day?” Thor asks in a gentle voice.

“Mama buh-bye till…” Tony mumbles, anxiously sucking on his pacifier.

“Worry not, dear child, for we shall find her and bring her home.” Thor soothes, rubbing Tony’s back. “Do we know anything of her whereabouts or where she may be?”

“We do, but that will have to wait until Clint and Natasha are introduced to little Tony.” Bruce replies. “Steve, do you want to bring up Clint now?”

“I can.” Steve agrees, getting up and kissing Tony’s cheek on the way to the elevator.

Once back on the communal floor, Steve simply gestures from the elevator for Clint to come over so they can head up. Thankfully, Clint rushes into the elevator and Steve can’t help but grin at the sight they are greeted with. Thor is leaning against the couch with Tony sitting in front him on the covered mattress pad playing with crinkling fabric blocks with a Baymax plush in his lap seeming to hug his Cap Amee bear. Clint suddenly feels a bit cornered, not sure whether they’ll figure out his secret depending on his interactions and responses. After Clint and Steve both sit down, Bruce goes through the same speech and Q & A session that he went through with Steve and Thor, again being more conservative about Tony’s painful past. Unlike Thor and Steve, Clint says nothing and Bruce knows it’s time to drop the ball.

“Clint, I know you’re a little too, granted, you’re much older than Tony when you are.” Bruce says, looking Clint in the eye with an understanding look. “Phil accidentally made a remark that clued me into your age playing with him.”

“That ba-” Clint starts, obviously fuming.

“Ah, no swearing with the baby in the room.” Bruce stops him.

“Bad man. I knew he’d never keep his mouth shut.” Clint growls, altering his phrasing so Bruce won’t tattle that he swore and in front of a baby no less.

“It’s Phil, he’s kind of lonely.” Bruce qualifies, not trying to be mean but there’s not really a good way to say it.

“Too lonely apparently. So how long has Tony been doing this?” Clint presses.

“About a year and a half now. Though this is the first time Ev’s been gone when he’s needed to be little so he’s not handling it well.” Bruce answers sadly, feeling a twinge in his heart at the reminder that his Evie fairy is still being held at SHIELD. “Before you ask what we know, I can tell you we know a lot, but we need to talk to Natasha about our little Tony first and then, once I put Tony down for a nap, we’ll discuss what to do for her.”

Steve nods to Bruce before returning to the elevator once again to grab Natasha from the communal floor. Clint slides down and starts to play with Tony, getting the little to giggle quite a bit. Before he can even try to enter the elevator, Natasha steps out.

“Figured you’d be heading down to get me so I came up- after a battle of wits with JARVIS.” Natasha explains before Steve can even ask.

“My apologies, Dr. Banner, but she threatened to disintegrate my operating core.” JARVIS says, sounding quite shaken.

“It’s okay JARVIS, I figured Natasha would get antsy.” Bruce assures the AI.

Natasha’s faces displays her scrutiny, confusion, and discomfort as she watches Clint and Thor playing with Tony on the floor between the couches and how everyone but her seems to be completely relaxed as if they were always in on the whole thing.

“I’m not a mind reader but the look on your face screams that you think we singled you out.” Bruce comments as Steve ushers her over to the couches.

“Yes, I do. I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.” Natasha responds, still ‘not getting it.’

“Nat, you and Steve are the only ones who didn’t know what this was. Sure only Bruce and Ev knew about Tony being a little guy, but the rest of already know about age play.” Clint confesses, already having heard Thor’s story about Loki being a little.

“How do you know about it?” Natasha challenges.

“Because I am a little and I’m only telling you because it’s apparently only a matter of time before Phil tells the entire world that sometimes I’m his little boy.” Clint answers, clearly irritated with her and Phil about the whole ordeal of becoming a known little. “Though, I’m nowhere near as young as Tony…”

Bruce takes over, going through the speech for the last time, trying to speed through it as he notices Tony getting fussy and less content to play on the mattress pad with Thor and Clint.

“Now, normally, I would ask if you have any questions, but I can’t answer those because I need to feed Tony and put him down for a nap. If you have any questions, there’s a good chance the others can give you some sort of an answer.” Bruce finishes, getting up and extending his arms to a clearly overstimulated and grateful little Tony. “When I get back, the others already informed me that they want to discuss what to do about Evelyn’s disappearance.”

Natasha simply sits in silence as Bruce carries Tony off to the kitchen, warily looking from one person to the next, leaving Steve for last.

“Is this real? All of this?” Natasha questions.

“Yes, Natasha, it is. If you knew half the things I know about Tony’s past now, you’d be surprised he’s even still alive.” Steve answers, crossing his arms across his chest. “And I think you’d better understand.”

“Then tell me.” Natasha pushes, feeling uncomfortable about being on the fringe as Bruce exits the kitchen with a bottle in one hand and Tony on his hip as he heads to Tony’s bedroom.

Steve weighs the options and realizes he’s nearly obligated to tell her what he knows.

“One of the few details Bruce told me was that Tony’s been raped and tortured more than any of us could’ve ever guessed if it was hinted at. He said that Evelyn told him about what happened on Tony’s third birthday when her mother, Amelia, was Tony’s nanny.” Steve tells her. “As a three year old, on his birthday none the less, he was gang raped and tortured by kidnappers. Amelia was very suspicious of Howard and confessed to Evelyn that she thought some of the early kidnappings were arranged by him.”

“What? Why would Howard Stark have his son get kidnapped?” Natasha asks, confused by the thought.

“Evelyn had apparently heard from her mother that Howard had claimed that being kidnapped was a character builder.” Steve relays, feeling his stomach becoming queasy at the thought.

“Is it common practice for guardians to do such things to their younglings?” Thor questions, not sure if he wants to know the answer.

“No, Thor, it’s far from common. What Howard let happen to Tony is punishable by law, but only if they can prove he intentionally set Tony up to get hurt.” Steve answers, unable to believe that a man he knew was capable of such abuse and neglect towards a child.

“I think that’s enough talking about Tony when he’s unaware.” Bruce says as he rejoins the group in the living room, unsurprised that Clint is still absentmindedly fiddling with one of Tony’s fabric blocks. “Oh no…”

Everyone looks to Bruce as he rubs his fatigued face with a groan.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“Cap Amee and his pacifier are still out here.” Bruce sighs, going to maneuver through the others to gather the items.

“I’ve got it, Bruce. Just see if Natasha still has any questions while I take them to him.” Steve insists, grabbing the bear dressed in a Captain America uniform and the Baymax pacifier.

“Thank you, Steve.” Bruce says as Steve heads towards Tony’s bedroom.

Upon entering Tony’s bedroom, he sees the infantile starting to stir-probably noticing that two of his favorite things are missing. Steve sits on the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through Tony’s hair. He slips the pacifier in the little engineer’s mouth and tucks Cap Amee in his arms.

“Sleep well, little guy.” Steve whispers, kissing Tony’s forehead and nose.

Tony coos a little bit behind his pacifier as the little sucking noises start and his heavy eyes fully close as his breathing starts to even out. Steve smiles and slowly gets up from the bed, tiptoeing out of the room. He leaves the door ajar and heads back to the living, not realizing he still has that very paternal, loving smile still plastered on his tired face.

“It’s really special to be trusted with this and to be allowed to take care of him.” Bruce comments with a similar smile as he sees Steve blush.

“It’s a pretty amazing feeling, I have to admit. He’s never let anyone in like this before…” Steve confesses.

“I remember the first time Tony let me hold when he was that little. I swear Evelyn almost went into shock on the spot. I was the first man Tony ever fully trusted after all those years of being convinced that men are evil and cruel.” Bruce recalls, with a wistful yet sad smile. “When Tony had aged up, he thanked me for every little thing and upgraded just about everything in my lab… I told him he didn’t need to do that, but he insisted that anyone who could be so kind to him needed to be rewarded so that they would remember what they did right…”

“I can imagine what kind of hell he must have been in, feeling like he couldn’t trust anyone.” Natasha says, a distant and sorrowful look on her face- and likely the first time anyone other than Clint has seen her when she’s let her guard down.

“You know Natasha, I’m sure Tony would love having another mother figure. In his earliest years, he had both Maria and Amelia to care for him. I think he would love having you in addition to Evelyn, it would remind him of those pleasant early years.” Bruce suggests, bringing her out of her swirling vortex of thoughts.

“I don’t know…” Natasha says, blushing at the thought.

“Now’s not really the time for this discussion, anyway.” Steve points out. “We need to find Evelyn and get her back here safely before Tony tries to hurt himself again.”

“She’s at SHIELD. She was picked up by Agent Coulson. From there, all she told us was that they were injecting her and submitting her to a bunch of tests.” Bruce informs them.

“She told you? How?” Natasha asks, not sure if she trusts the information.

“She called last night. Before she hung up, I could hear Phil in the background hassling her about getting off the phone. Supposedly, they’re going to release her tomorrow but I don’t know what they’re doing to her so I don’t trust that in the slightest.” Bruce answers, looking very shaken and annoyed, but thankfully not angry.

“How do we know it was her?” Clint presses, having lost interest in occupying himself with the plush baby toy.

“Because only Ev knows about Tony’s therapy and no matter how much they torture her, she’d never give it up.” Bruce assures him.

“We should go there today.” Natasha pushes, not liking the sound of any of it.

SHIELD testing is rigorous at best and with Evelyn being as tiny as she is. All of them- except Bruce and Tony- are confident that she won’t survive the testing even if she did survive the injections.

“Natasha can sneak in and just steal the file if she can find it.” Steve suggests, not noticing Tony quietly toddling out of the bedroom- half in and half out of his headspace. “If Thor can keep Coulson busy, then Natasha can nab the file and the rest of us can scour the building until we find Evelyn. With the exception of Bruce staying back with Tony.”

“Evie?” Tony questions, still clutching Cap Amee and holding his pacifier in his closed fist as he rubs his eyes. “You’re going to go without me? That’s out of the question.”

“You can’t go, baby boy. You need to stay here with me.” Bruce gently insists. “You need rest and food.”

“No, Bruce I don’t. I need to go find Mama Evie.” Tony argues, sounding more whiny than angry.

“Tony, you do need to rest, but we also don’t need you setting Agent Coulson on fire or anything, which is another reason why you can’t go.” Steve disagrees, reaching out to Tony.

“I’m not gonna set him on fire! I just want Mama Evie home!” Tony cries, starting to feel his little side dominating him as he soils himself on top of everything- his diaper visibly sagging through his pants as he backs away from Steve.

“Sweetie, don’t argue. I don’t want to punish you anymore than I already have to.” Bruce chastises, getting up from the couch with a sigh.

Tony tries to back away again, trying to ignore the concerned faces of the others in the room. He trips over his own foot and lands on his padded and soggy bum, automatically bursting into tears as his little side takes over. Having fallen all the way back down to his baby mindset, Tony reaches out for Bruce as ugly sobs wrack his abnormally thin body. Bruce takes Tony in his arms, and starts swaying to give Tony the feeling of being rocked as he rubs the alarmingly thin man’s back.

“Sshhh, baby boy. It’s okay. If it means that much to you, we’ll wait until you’re more of a big boy so you can come with us.” Bruce soothes, facing the others.

“Bruce, we can’t-” Natasha starts to protest until Bruce gives her a ‘don’t say anything, I’m bluffing’ sort of look before catches on and pretends to be irritated. “Fine. We’ll wait.”

“p’omiss?” Tony sobs, clinging to Bruce.

“We promise we won’t leave you and Papa here.” Steve says, winking at Natasha.

If they can send her, Tony won’t be suspicious because he’ll think she’s just fuming or working out on her own while the rest stay behind and in Tony’s sight. Natasha gives a quick nod, understanding Steve’s deception.

“Come on, baby boy, let’s change your pants and get you in something comfier.” Bruce says, kissing Tony’s flushed, tearstained cheek.

With that, Bruce takes Tony back into the bedroom. While the two are occupied, Steve and the others discuss the new plan. What they didn’t count on was Tony’s adult self having a little conversation with his know-it-all AI to get the scoop. The others were soon to be punished in the worst way possible after being let into to Tony’s fragile heart.

In the meantime, a nanny takes her first breath in a new body. Her first sight, Hydra. Her first sound, the manipulative lies of the doctors and agents around her. Her first taste, tainted water. Her first touch, the cold metal table underneath her.

Her first thought is much more complex- she has to find the boy nobody loves.

“ _Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more_  
  
Time stands still… I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more…” –Christina Perri, “A Thousand Years”


	6. Resurrection

“ _I'm going away for a while But I'll be back, don't try and follow me 'Cause I'll return as soon as possible See, I'm trying to find my place But it might not be here where I feel safe We all learn to make mistakes And run from them, from them With no direction We'll run from them, from them With no conviction 'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts Traveling endlessly Don't need no roads In fact they follow me And we just go in circles But now I'm told that this is life And pain is just a simple compromise So we can get what we want out of it_

 _Someone care to classify A broken heart some twisted minds So I can find someone to rely on And run to them, to them Full speed ahead Oh, you are not useless We are just misguided ghosts Traveling endlessly The ones we trusted the most Pushed us far away And there's no one road We should not be the same But I'm just a ghost And still they echo me They echo me in circles_ ” –Paramore, “Misguided Ghosts”

_Howard had given her an address to take Tony to, it was supposedly a doctor’s office. The building seemed decrepit but legitimate enough. There were plaques on the brick wall next to the door with names and the abbreviated degree, “M.D.” She still wasn’t convinced it was safe to take Tony there, but she couldn’t disobey Howard unless she wanted another bruised rib and angry red handprint on her face. Evelyn was to stay at the house with her brother while Jarvis drove them to the suspicious medical office. As she walks in beside the thirteen year old, feeling her pistol digging into her lower back from its place tucked into the waist of her skirt. The one between her breasts much less uncomfortable under the button up blouse.  Jarvis had agreed that she should take something in self-defense, though she was already excellent at hand to hand combat and improvising after her late night sparring sessions with her husband, who planned to keep the car running in case he needed to grab Tony and run. The inside seemed fairly empty of patients except for a couple people that seemed off to her._

_After an hour of waiting, she and Tony were ushered into an exam room that looked fairly standard. However, after the nurse came in and did a routine physical and a blood draw, she became suspicious of the circumstances surrounding the visit. She already distrusted Howard and had her suspicions that he was behind some new plot to traumatize his only child. Tony’s mother had disappeared and had been ‘on holiday,’ barely more than an hour when she did come home. She’d heard them fight about a divorce, but both supposedly decided to stay together so neither would be hounded by the press- though she suspected Maria was threatened to never speak of divorce unless she wanted to make him a widower._

_She jumped up in front of Tony, who was confused and terrified, as the supposed ‘doctor’ came in with a syringe. Tony’s vaccinations were all up to date already. As she stood before the suspicious man, she whipped her pistol out from the waistband of her skirt, cocking it and aiming it right between his eyes._

_“Twitch and you die.” She warned, staring him down as he chuckled._

_“Down, bitch, down.” He teased, making the mistake of trying to take a step towards them._

_Before anyone could do or say anything more, she pulled the trigger and planted a bullet in his brain. She took Tony’s hand and started to dart out of the exam room, cursing under her breath as she saw more men and even some women starting to turn on her, the others much more prepared than the dumbass with the syringe. She easily took out three of the closest goons and made it back to the waiting room before they really started closing in on her and Tony._

_“Who do you work for?” She demanded, snatching her other pistol from her cleavage as she aimed at one woman and one man on opposite sides of the room. “What do you want with him?”_

_There were a total six people all aimed at her. Four were women and the other two were men. She didn’t care for this part, but she had to know what she was up against so she would know if they’d come back or not._

_“He’s our mark, what do you think we want with him?” the man she held a gun to grunted._

_“Who do you work for, asshole?!” She pressed, turning her head a bit to Tony and adding in a quiet voice, “Never say that word. That’s a naughty word, baby boy.”_

_“What does it matter?” The woman she’s also aimed at challenges. “You’ll be dead and he’ll be gone before you can even blink.”_

_“Fine, we’ll do this my way then.” She responded with a devious smile._

_She shot both the man and the woman she was aimed at, both in the head like the first, as she knocked a coffee table on its side. She shoved Tony behind it and dove down beside him as the others shot at her, groaning as a bullet lodges itself in her shoulder. Between the other four’s shooting, she takes a few shots herself. Maiming two hired hands in one go and then killing one at her next shot. At the same time, she took her shot and killed the last male agent, one of the women nailed her in the hip with a bullet._

_“Tony, when I go up again, you run for that door and leave with Mistah Jarvis, got that, sweet pea?” She instructed, groaning again but smiling as Tony nodded. “Good. Now, go!!!”_

_As she stood up and shot at the two already injured women, Tony ran out the door. She managed to kill both women, but missed the man entering from the door that led to the exams room. He wasn’t dressed in scrubs like the others. No, this man looked Swedish and well-off in his suit with a gun aimed straight at her. Before she could react, he shot her in the chest, the bullet severing a major artery. She fell to the ground on her back, gasping for breath and choking as he came closer._

_“Hail, HYDRA, Amelia.” He murmured as her vision started going black and other people started pouring into the room._

The woman awakes from her plagued slumber, realizing the boy she had thought of when she was first awoken must have been the one she just dreamt about.

“Tony…” She breathes, looking at her reflection in the two-sided glass.

Her hair is matted and down to her waist. Her eyes aren’t the same grayish-blue they once were, but a vivid green.  Her skin is much paler than she remembered it being. Her scars are bright pink as if they had only just formed.

Why did they bring her back?

Before she contemplates this any further, the Swedish man from her dream enters her guarded observation room, holding a pile of clothing topped with a few hair ties.

“Clean yourself, Amelia. Get dressed. Today, we send you on your way.” He tells her, dropping the pile on her bed.

“Why?” Amelia questions, further unnerved as he produces her old pistols and a couple boxes of ammo that he adds to the pile. “Are you sending me somewhere?”

“Yes, we are sending you home.” He answers simply, starting back towards the door. “You are of no use to us. Doctors found you too unstable and unpredictable. The injections will be saved for someone else.”

Amelia doesn’t believe him for one second, but she quickly gets dressed in the tank top, t-shirt and leggings they provided. Slipping on a pair of flats and throwing her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head. She throws on the pea coat from the bottom of the pile, stowing one gun in her cleavage and another at the small of her back with the ammo tucked in her coat pockets. Sometime later, one of the henchmen retrieves her. Really, he’s a nice guy in a bad crowd. His name is Peter Sutherland, Scottish descent, slight accent, brilliant smile, bright red hair and scruffy facial hair, fairly tall (close to six feet), and well-built with a bit of muscle tone but still fairly skinny. Amelia doesn’t say a word to him until they land in New York.

“You already know my name.” She states as the exit the plane, fingering her wedding ring.

“Amelia Victoria Parish-Jarvis.” He recites, having studied everything about her as he was required to by his boss, whom he likes to call the ‘Swedish Meatball.’

“My husband’s passed, hasn’t he?” Amelia questions as they start towards baggage claim to grab Peter’s bag and the keys for the rental car.

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter answers, matter of factly as he waits for his bag to come by. “Passed away in 1991 driving the car that was transporting Howard and Maria Stark. Huge crash that caused a nearly twenty car pile up. At least 6 dead and 12 injured.”

Peter spots his duffel bag and collects it from the carousel of luggage. They walk quietly over to the Hertz rental car desk and wait behind the person in front of them.

“Since I assume you were assigned to keep an eye on me until you deem me not a threat to those HYDRA bastards, you may as well answer more of my questions.” Amelia responds, growing quiet while he sorts out the rental car with the attendant behind the counter and collects the keys.

“Ask away, Ms. Amelia.” Peter encourages, non chalantly as he tries not to focus on her form fitting clothing and the curves of her body- that would be unprofessional- while they head out to the rental lot.

“What of my daughter and son, Evelyn and Edwin Jr.?” She asks, getting into the car.

“Evelyn is a well-loved clinical psychologist in a relationship with Doctor Bruce Banner. He is a scientist and an Avenger. His alter ego is The Hulk, a really big muscular man that happens to be as green as the grass.” Peter begins to explain, fishing out a folder he had prepared in case she did ask questions. “He’s harmless as himself, but piss him of and the Hulk comes out. The Avengers is a band of mutated freaks and super agents, plus one Asgardian god. Evelyn is their handler when it comes to psychological health. Though aside from her boyfriend being the hulk, there’s rumor she’s also with Tony Stark. The genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and the person behind Iron Man.”

“She’s with Tony?” Amelia clarifies, feeling her heart spasm in her chest as Peter drives through the over-expanded city.

“That’s right. Lives in the Avengers Tower with the whole group. That’s where I’m leaving your sorry out of date ass.” Peter teases, grinning at her as he stops at a controlled intersection behind a cab and a Dodge Challenger.

“Your ass will be sorry if you keep that up.” Amelia warns with challenging but amused expression. “Is she there? What about Edwin?”

“Edwin passed away protecting Stark from a shooter hired by a competitor. Took the bullet for him.” Peter reports, focusing on the road again as the light turns green. “As for where your daughter is, no one’s sure. She’s been missing for two weeks. Supposed to have gone a missions trip with your brother and a friend, but she never made it to the airport. If you want to know more, you’ll need to take it up with the Avengers.”

Not long after finishing his update, he pulls the car over in front of the gaudy, modern Tower designed, built and owned by Tony Stark.

“I’m sorry about your losses, but I’m sure you’ll be just fine once you reacquaint yourself with the boy you used to nanny for.” Peter tells her, handing her a cheap phone. “Call me if you want.”

Amelia takes the phone, tucking it in a pocket of the pea coat, and grabs a handful Peter’s hair, forcing him to look at her. She kisses him passionately for a moment and then stares him in the eyes.

“That’s for getting me the hell out of there and telling me what I needed to know.” Amelia breathes, turning his head to face the front of the car and smashing his head against the steering wheel. “That’s for being an ass.”

“That fucking hurt, you know.” Peter comments, more amused than anything as his nose starts bleeding. “And you’re welcome. Call me and maybe we can do a little more with that hate kiss.”

“In your dreams, punk.” Amelia smirks, getting out of the car and flipping him off as she walks by while he whistles at her.

Once she approaches the entrance door, a familiar voice greets her.

“Hello, Madam, Please state your name and reason for visiting.” The AI says.

“Jarvis?!” She exclaims, stunned. “Is that really you, sugah?”

“I am in fact JARVIS, the artificial intelligence unit created by Tony Stark.” The AI responds.

“Oh, my mistake… You sound a lot like my husband, Mistah Jarvis.” She clarifies, unable to believe she’s not talking to a person.

“I was programmed to sound like Sir’s butler from his childhood who went by the same name.”

“Then perhaps you already know who I am?” Amelia guesses, jumping a bit when a bright blue light scans over her.

“Amelia Victoria Parish-Jarvis, supposed to have been shot and then kidnapped after an incident at a fake medical practice used as a guise in attempt to abduct Sir. Your body was never found.” JARVIS recites after scanning through the data. “Please wait in the lobby while I notify Sir and the others.”

After the AI responds, the main door opens and Amelia steps in. Looking around the grand and modern lobby, Amelia sighs.

“I am too fucking old for this…” Amelia mutters, looking at all the strange sights of the modern building.

Up in Tony’s penthouse, the group is watching Big Hero 6. Tony is leaned up against Steve, who is bottle feeding him, and has his legs sprawled out over Bruce on one couch. Natasha and Clint are cuddled up in a recliner that was advertised as ‘the cuddler’ and Thor is stretched out on the other couch. Suddenly the movie pauses itself and Tony whines a bit.

“Dr. Banner, there is an anomaly in the lobby.” JARVIS informs. “Amelia Parish-Jarvis just arrived and I have in fact determined it to be her. While the possibility is fair given her body was never found, the probability is more unlikely. I instructed her to wait in the lobby so that you may decide what to do about the situation.

Upon hearing this, Tony, in his diaper, flannel pajama pants and t-shirt, jolts out of Steve’s lap and heads for the elevator. Frustrated when he finds that Jarvis has it on lockdown. He quickly suppresses his little side and growls a bit.

“JARVIS, open the elevator doors.” Tony demands, clearly having no patience.

“Only if you have an escort. Remember, Sir, I am also designed as a security system to keep you safe. During my scan, I detected two pistols on her person. One between her breasts and the other tucked into the waistband of her pants at the small of her back, along with plenty of ammo in her pockets.” JARVIS responds.

“That’s how you know it’s the real Amelia, JARVIS! She used to carry her pistols on her all the time because of all the kidnappings and break-ins when I was growing up. She wasn’t just a nanny, she was a body guard!” Tony argues, even more frustrated.

“Down, JARVIS.” Steve teases as he stands by Tony. “I’ll go down with him.”

“I think we’ll all go, Steve.” Bruce amends as he and the others all squeeze into the now open elevator with Steve and Tony.

There’s a lot of argument, largely from Tony, as the elevator makes its way down to the lobby on the ground floor. But all of them quiet down as the elevator dings and begins to open. Well, except for the baby...

“I’d be fine on my own. She’s my nanny for Christ’s sake!” Tony snaps, going quiet as he sees Amelia standing in the middle of the lobby with wide, teary eyes. “Meme?”

“Sweet pea? Is that really you, Tony?” She asks, her voice just as warm and comforting as always as they start walking towards each other.

“Woah there.” Clint pipes up, rushing to stand between the two. “Take out the guns slowly and hand them to me, please.”

“Clint! You bird brain! She’s not going to hurt me!” Tony hisses in exasperation.

“Now, now, use your nice words, sweet pea.” Amelia giggles, slowly taking her guns out and handing them to Clint. “It’s alright. I’d be suspicious too if someone who was supposed to be dead showed up one day out of the blue.”

“You may now hug the nanny.” Clint announces, pretending to be a priest as he backs up towards the others.

Amelia embraces Tony for a long time, holding him tight as he cries. She pulls back a bit upon hearing a crinkling noise as her hand rubbed his lower back.

“There somethin’ you wanna tell Meme, Darlin’?” She asks with a curious smile on her face.

Bruce chuckles a bit and Tony turns to glare at him with a huff.

“You’re the one who decided to just rush down here.” Bruce reminds him.

“I recognize you! You’re Bruce Banner. I read about you.” Amelia comments, giving him a smile. “I heard through the grapevine that you’re datin’ my baby girl.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Bruce confirms potlitely, blushing a bit.

“What happened to you, Meme? Papa Jarvis told me he didn’t think you survived… All the papers said you went missing…” Tony quizzes, starting to come down from the positivity that was originally there.

“HYDRA happened. Some Swedish man in a fancy suit came out after I killed the last two agents when you left with him. He shot me right in the chest. Quite frankly, I still don’t understand how I’m here. They said a lot of crazy things while they were boasting about their work. Claiming they were able to patch me up just fine but that I’d need a long time to heal until I’d be useful. Mentioned something about cryogenics or something.” Amelia explains. “Apparently I’ve only been awake as they say for about a day or two. Mr. Swedish man told me before I came here that he had no use for me. That it turned out his insane doctors couldn’t use me for their injections. Though, I’m sure he was fibbin’ because my eyes never used to be green like this. Always some sad, porcelain doll blue as Daddy called it.”

“HYDRA had you? How do you know?” Bruce questions, coming closer.

“It took a bit, but my memories came back. I remember that day when Tony was thirteen, when I took him to that fake medical practice. Right before I blacked out, Mr. Swedish Man leaned over me and said, ‘hail, HYDRA.’ The next thing I knew I woke up on a cold metal table being poked and prodded like a heifer about to be milked.” Amelia answers simply, clearly annoyed with the whole ordeal before her face softens with affection. “When he said I’d be going home, the first thing I thought was to come find my baby boy…”

“I missed you, Meme…” Tony murmurs, hugging her again, the movement making his diaper crinkle once more as he flushes.

“Okay, sugah, you have got to tell why I keep hearing that sound and what you’re wearin’!” Amelia chuckles.

“Let’s go upstairs first.” Bruce suggests, herding everyone back into the elevator.

Once back in the penthouse, they all gather in the living room, everyone other than Tony still wary of their guest and her timing during Evelyn’s disappearance. As Tony sits down-crinkling conspicuously once again- Amelia stops and gives them a curious look.

“Alright ya’ll. Let’s get this cleared up. You can ask me anything ya’ll want and I’ll answer it as best I can. I’ll even show ya the bullet holes from the day that HYDRA took me.” Amelia announces. “Sweet pea, you remember where Meme got shot don’t ya?”

Tony nods, looking curious and uncomfortable. To everyone’s surprise, she strips down to her panties and bra.

“Are my scars in the right place, sugah?” Amelia asks turning towards Tony.

As Tony looks over her body, blushing something fierce, he sees the scars from the bullets. One on her right shoulder, one towards the top of her left hip, and the one in her chest, approximately where her arteries leading away from her heart would be.

“Yes, Meme.” Tony tells her, looking away while she pulls the leggings and tank top back on, leaving the t-shirt and pea coat hanging over the arm of the couch.

“Oh sugah, don’t worry about avertin’ ya eyes when I’m not decent. Who do ya think breast fed you all those years ago?” Amelia teases, sitting down and pulling Tony to cuddle with her. “With those tiny breasts of ya mother’s, it certainly wasn’t her.”

“Well I’m convinced.” Clint speaks up, earning a smack from Natasha.

“Only because you saw her in her undergarments.” Natasha argues.

“I believe it.” Bruce states, knowing best the capabilities of the scientific world.

Thor and Steve look at each other and shrug, supposing that if Bruce believes it’s possible then it must be.

“Well come on, ya’ll. We’ve got some introductions to do!” Amelia encourages, smiling as they each- more or less- resume the general positions they were in before finding out Tony’s nanny is alive and well. “First, a certain little boy owes me an explanation.”

“Bruce, please?!” Tony begs too mortified to even consider telling her the truth.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll tell her.” Bruce assures him, taking a deep breath before going into the lengthy explanation.

Everyone is still amazed even though they all know everything Bruce is saying, though he doesn’t have to recount Tony’s past to her since she’s well-aware. Instead, he goes a bit more in depth about the diagnosis and Tony’s nightmares, along with all of Evelyn’s guidance through the experimentation of the different therapy and coping methods. Towards the end, he also explains the arc reactor to her and why this particular mini model is in Tony’s chest.

“Oh, sugah, my poor baby.” Amelia coos as Tony buries his face in her chest. “Ya know, when ya were a little baby, I promised myself that I would always come back to ya and keep an eye on ya. My Evelyn’s done wonders for your poor broken heart and now it’s my turn to take over again. If you’ll have me, I’d like to be your Mama again.”

Tony is stunned and overwhelmed. He never thought he’d see her again. Now that he is, he was sure that she’d be repulsed by him and how he liked to pretend he’s an infant to forget about everything. He can’t help the tears that stream down his face as he looks up at her.

“Yes, please…” Tony mumbles.

“You’ve made your old Meme the happiest person in the world.” Amelia tells him, kissing his forehead. “So, how old are we, sweet pea?”

“One…” Tony supplies shyly.

“That’s wonderful. Ya were always such a little angel, but somehow even more so when ya needed me so much.” Amelia gushes, running her fingers through his hair.

“Paci?”

Bruce, sitting between her and the arm of the couch, hands the Baymax pacifier to her and she slips it into his mouth, grinning like a fool as he starts sucking on it. The others are occasionally watching and listening to the reunion, but for the most part have started up their own conversations.

“Now, I used to nurse ya when ya were just wee little thang. Would ya like me to do that again?” Amelia questions, rubbing his back.

Tony blushes crimson but nods, having secretly wondered if he’d like breast feeding, though always too afraid to talk to Evelyn about it because he was sure she’d have to have a baby before she could start producing breast milk. He wasn’t about to put her through all that to make it happen. But in this case, Amelia was offering so he figured he may as well take it while she’s willing.

“Doesn’t Mama have to have a baby first?” Tony shyly asks, somehow blushing even harder as she slips his pacifier back in his mouth.

“Nope. I learned a little secret from my Mama about how to start the flow of milk without havin’ babies. She had told me to become a wet nurse because I’d find good payin’ employers like Howard if I could nurse and raise their babies. That’s how she met Daddy, working for a rich family.” Amelia explains with a warm smile which quickly dissolves as Tony starts crying. “I’m sorry, baby, did I say somethin’ wrong?”

“No, you’re fine. It’s just that he’s been fighting his headspace and if there’s anything that makes him want to forget everything and just be little, it’s his father.” Bruce assures her. “Ev and I learned the hard way that if you say his father’s name that he almost instantly breaks down and starts crying.”

“I always knew that man would ruin my baby boy.” Amelia states, surprising everyone as stands up and easily pulls Tony onto her hip.

“Amelia, are you secretly a body builder?” Clint asks, earning another smack from Natasha. “Ow, Nat! Quit it!”

“Stop being awful and I will.” Natasha remarks, rolling her eyes as Amelia giggles.

“No, I told ya’ll I was sure they injected me with somethin’. Probably mutated me and now I’m able to lift my baby boy just like I used to.” Amelia reminds them, her warm smile fading again as she notices something’s off. “Anthony Edward Stark.”

Tony looks up at her with guilty expression, a bit calmer now. When he was younger, she always knew when he’d been skipping meals whether she was there to witness it or not. Back then, if he skipped meals, she’d sit him down at the table in the kitchen and feed him until he looked he’d shoved a volleyball under his shirt from being so full.

“Is something amiss, surrogate mother?” Thor questions, looking a bit concerned.

“There certainly is, Sir.” Amelia affirms, her gaze still locked on Tony with her classic ‘fess up’ look. “Little Mistah hasn’t been eatin’ like he should. No boy of his size should be as light as a feathah.”

“He was skipping meals for almost two weeks. We’ve been starting to slowly add more and more food each time he eats, which is about every two hours when he’s in his headspace.” Bruce informs her.

“Well, ya know the drill, sugah.” Amelia tells Tony, giving him the ‘I’m sorry but you brought this on yourself’ look.

“Yesh, Mama.” Tony mumbles around his pacifier.

“May I ask what you plan to do?” Bruce inquires, not sure whether he should or even could step in and stop her if it seemed like a bad idea.

“When he was youngah, if he skipped meals, I sat him down and he ate until it looked like he stuck basketball under his shirt.” Amelia answers, swaying a bit to soothe Tony. “I never did anything to hurt him and if one of my punishments were new and they ended up hurting him in some way, he got to choose what I had to do to make it up to him and that punishment would never be used again.”

“I can approve of that. Unfortunately, we don’t really have much here right now.” Bruce responds.

“Would any of ya’ll being willing to make a grocery run?” Amelia asks with a smile so sweet, you couldn’t help but feel like you just got a cavity. “I’ll make it worth ya while. I always cook enough to last for a week and Mistah Jarvis and the little ones always loved my cookin’. I do Southern dishes, but I love Italian and I’ll make and eat just about anything.”

“Are you serious?” Clint beams, looking poised to spring right out of the armchair the second she says yes.

“As serious as my husband’s headstone.” Amelia promises.

“I’m on it!” Clint cheers, practically flying out of the chair.

“Now, hold on, little birdy!” Amelia laughs as he pauses mid-stride and turns his head towards her. “I’ve gotta make a list.”

“Natasha, Thor, would you be willing to accompany Clint to the store?” Bruce requests.

He knows that even if Clint doesn’t just pull together all of his favorite foods and meals that there’ll still be a lot to carry- plus if anyone that can control Clint of their present group, it’s Natasha. Not to mention she’s more likely to make sure they get everything the first time.

“Naturally.” Natasha agrees, smiling a bit as she sees Clint starting to pout.

“It will be my pleasure!” Thor agrees.

“My, my you have quite the set of lungs on you, sugah!” Amelia comments with a fond smile to the Asgardian blonde.

“And I have been told you have a beautiful singing voice by your youngling, Evelyn.” Thor returns the compliment.

“Where is Evelyn? Peter said somethin’ about her bein’ missin’…” Amelia questions with a frown.

“She was, but we heard from her last night and she should be back tomorrow. It turns out SHIELD is trying to recruit her.” Steve answers, becoming a little concerned as she gasps and forgetting to ask who is Peter is.

“Now wait just a cotton pickin’ minute! You’re Steve Rogers, the man behind the Captain America mask!” Amelia gushes, startling Tony a bit. “We met at one of your shows during the war. You, sir, still owe me a dance!”

“You knew Steve?” Tony asks, his pacifier falling out of his mouth and into her waiting hand.

“Sure did. He didn’t know me well back then, but my family owned a place up in Brooklyn and I used to live there with Mama sometimes and go to school with him before I became a workin’ girl.” Amelia explains, smiling even more as she sees Steve’s eyes light up in recognition.

“My apologies, Amelia. I felt so awful about that but one thing led to another and-” Steve starts to apologize.

“And you got busy savin’ them poor Jewish folks and ending a war, ultimately savin’ the world.” Amelia finishes for him. “Even after all those years, you still look as amazin’ as evah.”

“Mama, no! He’s old!” Tony whines, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

“So am I sugah, but whatever they did to the two of us is definitely workin’ for both.” Amelia teases, giggling as he whines again while she inserts his pacifier. “Used to call that ya mute button when ya got to fussin’.”

“They actually have ones that say mute button now.” Clint tells her with a wicked grin.

“If ya’ll thought Evelyn was a mothah hen, then I’m gonna warn ya’ll now- and she’ll tell ya it’s true when she gets back- I’m a billion times worse.” Amelia tells them with her own mischievous grin.

“It’s true. If you don’t follow her rules, you’re in big trouble!” Tony chimes in, his pacifier falling out again.

“Just like you are, Little Mistah.” Amelia reminds him as she once again puts the pacifier back in his mouth.

“Don’t we have a grocery list to make and complete?” Natasha points out, amazed at how easy things get side-tracked.

“That’s right, thank ya kindly, Miss.” Amelia appreciates as Tony starts fidgeting, noticing the telltale consistency of a wet diaper through his pajama pants. “Turns out we have one more side-step to make before we get back on track. Where can I change him?”

“I’ll show you, Mrs. Jarvis.” Bruce offers with a kind smile.

“Now, you, I most certainly will give my blessin’ to.” Amelia comments. “And call me Amelia, darlin’.”

With that, Bruce shows her to the nursery. As she steps in, everyone jumps out of their skins at her excited screech. They all laugh as she shouts an apology to them, causing Natasha to roll her eyes fondly. So that’s where Evelyn got her excitability from. Not long after, Natasha, Clint and Thor head out to the grocery store with the list from Amelia. The nanny settles into ‘the cuddler’ with Tony and thanks Bruce for getting a warm bottle for Tony- making some sort of remark about her breast being much more friendly and much less toxic which makes the three males in the room blush like mad. Within a few minutes, they’re all settled in and finishing Big Hero 6 with Tony contently cuddled up to his Mama.

“ _I'm coming home_ _I'm coming home tell the World I'm coming home Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes I'm coming home, I'm coming home tell the World I'm coming...home…_ ” –J. Cole, “I’m Coming Home”


	7. Fuck You, Phil Coulson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn has had enough of her cruel captivity and is finally strong enough to just walk out- despite Phil Coulson's nagging and attempts to keep her on Fury's demand. Once home, She realizes her day can in fact get worse- and then better- and even worse- and a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to put in some Evelyn/Tony sweetness. The next chapters will get pretty messy as Tony starts to age up and get into a lot more trouble once Evelyn discovers the extensive list of his rule breaking in her unintended absence.
> 
> The 'new lullaby' Evelyn sings to Tony in this chapter is "Rainbow Veins" by Owl City

“ _How it all began If truth be told Had a master plan… Took 'em by surprise Worked my way uphill They looked into my eyes I became invincible No one can stop me for only I am in control If you want me you better contact my people  In my crown, I am king  I love their endless worshiping  I am raw, a dinosaur But I will never be extinct So don't mess with me I'll shoot you down Don't mess with me_  
  
Show me sex appeal Get on your hands and knees  Forget about the meal It's best to keep me pleased Imagine, if you will our meet on the block I've got time to kill, so how about a quick fuck? I've come, it's been fun but won't you please disappear  Something tells me you can't further my career  In my crown, I am king I love their endless worshiping I am raw, a dinosaur But I will never be extinct So don't mess with me I'll shoot you down  Don't mess with me  
  
'Cause all your heads are gonna roll I've made your misery my goal So if you want survival Kneel on my arrival for this is how I rule the world… Don't mess with me I'll knock you down Don't mess with me I'll shoot you down Don't mess with me” –Temposhark, “Don’t Mess With Me”

As the morning sun rises, Evelyn is zipping her red and gold duffel bag (courtesy of one Tony Stark) shut and heaving it onto her shoulder. Phil had said they would let her go home in time for dinner. Upon hearing that, she pretended to agree. On the inside, she was damning Phil Coulson into the worst pit of purgatorial hell possible. So it’s no surprise when he comes to retrieve her for the next round of tests and she simply walks past him and towards the front of HQ with her duffel bag.

“Evelyn! You can’t leave yet!” Phil calls as he catches up to her.

“The fuck I can’t, Phil Coulson.” Evelyn snaps, feeling the ache under the bandages on her arms from all the injections and blood draws. “Ya’ll have kept me here for over two weeks. Now, I was tasked with being the psychological handler for the Avengers and last I checked, one of the Avengers tried to commit suicide in my absence. Which was the night before last and I was lucky that Bruce knows to check on Tony and that Steve’s got muscle. Otherwise, Iron Man would be nothing more than a legend today.”

“Why didn’t you report that?” Phil demands, grabbing her arm in a vice grip right over the bandages.

“Fuck you, Phil Coulson!” Evelyn shouts as she sends him flying against the wall.

“Parish! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Nick Fury demands, standing next to an agent Evelyn doesn’t recognize.

“To kill you if you don’t let me go home!” Evelyn growls.

At this point, she’s been prodded, stabbed, cut open, shocked, and forced into hand to hand combat. She has had enough. On top of all of that, she has to be wary of her new abilities. Her eyes have become a crimson color due to the mutations in her blood, which upset her because she was the only one left with her mother’s beautiful blue-gray eyes. Tony’s are brown and her younger brother is dead, now she has crimson irises making her look like a demon. In fact, she had actually heard some of the agents and scientists calling her a demon fairy due to her red eyes and her size.

After an intense stare down with “demon fairy,” Fury huffs, “Go home, Parish.”

“I knew you’d see it my way. And don’t worry, the fucker’s fine.” Evelyn comments, having already assessed the damage she did to Phil- nothing some pain killers can’t fix.

Evelyn strolls out of SHIELD and hails a cab. Once in, she directs him to the Tower. The man looks startled as he notices her eyes and she sighs, tears welling up and making her eyes the literal Red Sea. She sniffles a bit and the man relaxes.

“You okay, Miss?” He asks, sounding a bit sympathetic.

“Do you know what they did to me?” Evelyn sniffles, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her black hoodie.

He shakes his head.

“They poked and prodded and stabbed me with needles. They did something to my eyes!” She cries in despair. “They called me Demon Fairy because I’m so small and now my eyes are red like a demon’s.”

“You should sue them, Miss, they had no right.” The man suggests.

“I should?” Evelyn questions as she recognizes that they’re only a few blocks away now.

“Yes, Ma’am. If they did something to wrong you, something that they weren’t supposed, you can sue them and maybe you’ll get enough money to see if someone can help you undo what they did.” He responds.

“You’re right. Thank you so much.” Evelyn responds, already knowing all of it, but pretending to be helpless was certainly making the ride less tense.

Awhile later, the cab driver stops outside the tower and Evelyn pays him, thanking him again as she shoulders her bag and waves him off. She walks up to the front entrance and JARVIS immediately scans her.

“Welcome home, Madam. Shall I inform the others of your arrival?’ JARVIS greets.

“No, I’d like to surprise them JARVIS.” She responds, relaxing as she walks through the lobby and into the elevator.

“They have a bit of a surprise for you too, it seems.” JARVIS cryptically informs her.

“JARVIS, you better tell me what you mean this instant.” Evelyn demands, clearly not in a good mood as she sheds her hoodie and throws it across one bandaged arm.

“Your mother is alive and with the others. They’ve just gone to the kitchen to make breakfast.” JARVIS confesses.

“JARVIS, this isn’t funny. Mama’s been dead for over twenty years.” Evelyn snaps as the elevator dings and opens.

“I promise you, Madam, I don’t have the software to make such a heinous joke.” JARVIS tells her.

Evelyn drops her bag and her sweatshirt on the floor by the couches, noting the play mattress and a bunch of Tony’s baby toys are laying about. She hears their voices coming from the kitchen. She hadn’t really bothered to get dressed so she’s still in her yoga pants and white floral tank top that she wore to bed last night. Oh well. It’s not like her day can get any worse, right?

Wrong.

As Evelyn enters the kitchen, everyone goes silent. Tony is in his high chair and wearing the body suit she bought him, a pastel red one that had a chibi Iron Man on it with the words ‘Mama’s Little Avenger’ scrawled across the chest. Steve and Bruce are on either side of him at the island with Clint and Natasha occupying the opposite end, while her mother stands at the stove.

“What in the ever lovin’ universe?!” Evelyn demands, frowning and looking the epitome of abuse.

“Evie Fairy, what did they do to you?” Bruce questions, concern evident as he approaches her and goes to grab her wrist to examine her bandaged arm.

“Hands off, Banner. I already tossed Coulson today.” Evelyn snaps, careful to reign herself in so she doesn’t send him flying out of the tower or anything. “Why, Mother? Where have you been?”

“I was captured by HYDRA. I only just got out the other day.” Amelia answers, turning off the burner on the stove where she was about to make pancakes and French toast. “Said they couldn’t use me like they thought, so they let me go.”

“Bull, woman. I don’t believe a word out of your mouth.” Evelyn declares.

“Evelyn, everything checks out. We tailed the HYDRA goon who brought her here and interrogated him. He’s still locked up in one on the rooms in lower floors.” Natasha assures her, crossing over to Evelyn.

“That’s not all I have to say about this.” Evelyn clarifies and everyone just kind of sits back, Tony being the most frightened and fighting a whimper. “You waltz in here after all these years and just take over my home? I’m the one who made all this possible. I took care of him after you disappeared off the face of the planet with only Daddy to watch over all three of us. Well, I grew up real fast. Edwin and I protected this precious boy with our lives and now ya’ll have gone tried to replace me instead of comin’ for me?”

The room is silent and everyone looks the picture of guilt and grief.

“And you, Bruce, you didn’t try to come get me even after that fuck Fury told ya’ll where I was?” Evelyn is less angered and more upset now, which is good since her control tends to go a little haywire when she’s pissed- not unlike Bruce. “Do you know what they did to me?”

By now, Evelyn has tears running down her face as unwinds the bandages from one arm and lifts up her tank top.

“Let me show you.” Evelyn says, her voice faltering. “They shocked me, cut me, injected me, took bags full of my blood, and forced me to fight men in armor! They ruined my eyes! They called me the Demon Fairy!”

“Evelyn, I’m so sorry, but we didn’t understand why Fury had you. He made it sound like he rescued you from kidnappers.” Bruce apologizes, taking her hands in his. “We had Natasha sneak out and steal your file to try to find out what was happening and where you really were because SHIELD doesn’t always keep you at HQ when they take you… I got a little side tracked when Tony fell into his headspace.”

“Mama?” Tony quietly calls, feeling like he’s interrupting.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry I ever left.” Evelyn apologizes, taking the tray off his high chair and picking him up like a small child with ease.

“I’m guessing they tried to make you something like a super soldier like Steve after all the years you’ve kept Tony safe.” Bruce ventures, noticing her flinch from the pressure put on her mostly fresh wounds.

“They didn’t tell me what they were tryin’ to do.” Evelyn sniffles, bouncing Tony in her arms. “All they said was that they needed me but that they needed to work on me before they could use me.”

“Evelyn…” Amelia ventures, approaching her daughter with caution.

“I’m not done bein’ mad you, Mother.” Evelyn cautions, fixing the woman with an icy glare. “You raised me to be respectful of others’ lives and homes and here you are, intrudin’ on mine as if you were always here. Well, here’s the day’s headline, ‘Mother and Nanny Abandons Her Three Children, Shows Up Decades Later With Flimsy Apology.’ You were missin’ for years and I don’t take kindly to you tryin’ to replace me. I’ve known Tony through nearly all of his life and stood by him in more life stages than anyone thought you’d live to see.”

“I know your still mad, Evelyn. I wasn’t tryin’ to take over though. He saw me and when I found out the way ya taught him to cope, I couldn’t help but take care of him like I did back when I was just a hired hand.” Amelia responds, clearly sorry for any and every offense her daughter perceives her to have committed. “I know I missed out and messed up. I did wrong by all of you, even your Daddy. I should’ve tried to run like hell too, but I didn’t. It was stupid and I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I hope you will sometime. I’m more sorry to hear about what they did to you at that place. I can tell you that I’ve been through some of the same, though they didn’t cut me open like they did you- well not since they went fishin’ for the bullet Mr. Swedish Man lodged in my chest.”

“I’ll probably forgive you, but it certainly ain’t happin’ now.” Evelyn concedes, kissing Tony’s cheek. “Come on, snuggle bug, let’s get ya fed.”

The morning proceeds with a lot of animosity ‘To: Mother Amelia, From: Evelyn- Without Love,’ almost like a passive aggressive Valentine’s Day card telling Amelia to go fuck herself. Once breakfast is over and Evelyn starts settling into ‘the cuddler’ with Tony cradled in her arms and warm bottle for him in her hand, Bruce herds everyone, including Amelia, out of the penthouse and back to the communal floor.

“They’re gone for now, my love.” Bruce informs her with a kiss to her cheek. “I told them to let you have a relaxed first day back with your baby boy and they agreed to.”

“Thank ya, Papa.” Evelyn replies in a soft voice. “Are we ready for a new lullaby, baby?”

Tony sleepily nods as he continues to nurse his bottle. He’s just happy she’s home.

“High rise, veins of the avenue  
Bright eyes and subtle variations of blue  
Everywhere is balanced there like a rainbow above you  
Street lights glisten on the boulevard  
And cold nights make staying alert so hard

For heaven's sake, keep me awake  
So I won't be caught off guard  
Clearly I am a passerby but I'll find a place to stay  
Dear pacific day, won't you take me away?

Small town hearts of the New Year  
Brought down by gravity, crystal clear  
City fog and brave dialog converge on the frontier

Make haste, I feel your heartbeat  
With new taste for speed, out on the street  
Find a road to a humble abode where both of our routes meet  
The silver sound is all around and the colors fall like snow  
The feeling of letting go, I guess we'll never know

Cheer up and dry your damp eyes and tell me when it rains  
And I'll blend up that rainbow  
Above you and shoot it through your veins

'Cause your heart has a lack of color  
And we should've known  
That we'd grow up sooner or later  
'Cause we wasted all our free time alone,” Evelyn sings softly, loving the sight of her baby boy sleeping so peacefully as she switches the bottle for the pacifier.

“Madam, Phil Coulson is in the elevator. Requesting entrance to see you. I insisted he stayed there and locked the controls, telling him you weren’t decent at the moment.” JARVIS announces.

Evelyn groans. She was just starting to relax and feel happy again for the first time in a little over two weeks. Evelyn looks pleadingly to Bruce with her best ‘sorrowful fairy’ face as he liked to call it. He smiles at her in return taking Tony and carrying him back to the nursery, settling in the rocking chair while JARVIS closes the door.

“Let him in, JARVIS.” Evelyn sighs, not even bothering to cover up the numerous pieces of baby paraphernalia.

She’ll just lie and tell him she and Bruce are babysitting her nephew. She stands and glares at Phil as he enters the penthouse.

“Do I need to break something before you take a fucking hint?” Evelyn questions, about to cross her arms over her chest but deciding against it since holding Tony already has them irritated and stinging.

“Apparently you do.” Phil answers simply. “Remember, I came back from the dead.”

“Well, if you like we can see if you can do it a second time.” Evelyn offers with a mischievous smile.

“No, thanks. I was just sent to check on Stark. Once Fury found out about what you told me, he wanted to make sure everything was straightened out.” Phil responds, looking around and making a face. “Why is there baby toys littering Tony’s floor?”

“Oh, shit, well the thing is that Tony and I have a love child and currently Bruce is up here help me watch him.” Evelyn remarks sarcastically.

“What’s really going on, Evelyn?”

“My nephew is staying with us and Tony said it would be alright if he stayed up here while I have some therapy sessions with him.” Evelyn smoothly lies, putting her hands on her hips. “Tony’s asleep and so is my baby nephew. So clearly everything is fine.”

“I highly doubt that.” Phil argues.

“Look, Phil, I’m practically their sole handler since I’m the only one they listen so I’m going to say the same thing I said earlier when you dug your fucking fingers into my healing wounds,” Evelyn growls, sounding a bit like an angry cat. “Fuck you, Phil Coulson. Get out of here and tell Fury that if he wants anything regarding the avengers that isn’t a call to assemble, then he better call me or I will not only sue the entire department, but I will having it fucking destroyed.”

“I’m only following orders, Evelyn.” Phil defends.

“So what?! You’re not a fucking robot- no offense JARVIS,” Evelyn seethes.

“None taken, Madam. I understand the point of the comparison.” JARVIS responds.

“At least the AI gets it, but then again between the two of you, _he_ _is_ the smart one.” Evelyn points out, getting angrier by the second. “I was so happy, everyone here was happy, until you marched your sorry ass here and probably threatened JARVIS to bring you up or else.”

“Evelyn, just let me talk to Tony.” Phil presses, completely ignoring her jab.

“No! He hasn’t slept in over two weeks because he couldn’t stop freaking out about my disappearance so he shut himself in that goddamn lab and staved himself. The only thing that he consumed that whole time was Turkish coffee and water.” Evelyn nearly shouts, immediately regretting it as she hears Tony crying, thankful that JARVIS is distorting his cries to make them sound more like a baby’s. “Great, now my baby’s awake. Fuck you, Phil, I hope that when you die, you’re trapped in some purgatorial hell of the worst kind. I don’t care if you are Clint’s daddy, you are a terrible person for what you’ve done to me and Tony and everyone else who’s been worried sick about me.”

“I’m sorry, Evelyn. I really am, but I was just-” Phil starts, stopping as she holds up a hand to silence him.

“If I were you, I would leave before you end up flying out a window from one of the highest floors on this Tower.” Evelyn warns him, feeling her ‘abilities’ starting rile up like beginning of a storm.

“Just, please, for your sake and mine, write an official report on Stark’s status while you were gone and how he is now that you’re back. Maybe Fury will at least try to understand how things work for all of you then.” Phil advises.

“Noted, now leave so I can go check on my baby.”

Phil nods and steps into the elevator before the doors close.

“JARVIS, tell me when he’s out of the building.” Evelyn requests, not taking any chances about the lone blabber mouth finding out Tony’s an infantile.

After a few minutes of painful waiting, JARVIS finally reports, “He is officially gone, Madam. The security cameras confirmed that he has already left in his vehicle.”

Evelyn sighs in relief this time and dashes to the nursery, quickly inputting the code and entering. She takes Tony in her arms and bounces him a bit, causing him to burp- a task she hadn’t done because of the sudden appearance of Phil Coulson. He quiets down after a minute and she trades places with Bruce, sitting down in the well-padded and specially made rocking chair. She gives Tony his pacifier and decides to pick up where she left off.

“You like your new lullaby, sweet pea?” Evelyn asks in a quiet voice as she rocks him, earning a tired yawn. “Cheer up and dry your damp eyes and tell me when it rains and I'll blend up that rainbow above you and shoot it through your veins

'Cause your heart has a lack of color  
And we should've known  
That we'd grow up sooner or later  
'Cause we wasted all our free time alone

Your nerves gather with the altitude  
Exhale the stress so you don't come unglued  
Somewhere there is a happy affair, a ghost of a good mood  
Wide eyed, panic on the getaway

The high tide could take me so far away  
VCR's and motorcars unite on the seventh day  
A popular gauge will measure the rage of the new post modern age  
'Cause somewhere along the line all the decades align

We were the crashing whitecaps on the ocean  
And what lovely seaside holiday away  
A palm tree in Christmas lights, my emotion  
Struck a sparkling tone like a xylophone  
As we spent the day alone

Cheer up and dry your damp eyes   
and tell me when it rains and I'll blend up that rainbow   
above you and shoot it through your veins

'Cause your heart has a lack of color  
And we should've known  
That we'd grow up sooner or later  
'Cause we wasted all our free time alone…”

Once again, Evelyn finds herself finally at peace, Bruce sitting cross legged on the floor next to the rocking chair while she contentedly rocks her baby boy as he sleeps soundly in her arms. If only this could last…

“ _I'm looking for a place to start and everything feels so different now_  
Just grab a hold of my hand I will lead you through this wonderland  
Water up to my knees but sharks are swimming in the sea  
Just follow my yellow light and ignore all those big warning signs

 _Somewhere deep in the dark a howling beast hears us talk_  
I dare you to close your eyes and see all the colours in disguise  
Running into the night the earth is shaking and I see a light  
The light is blinding my eyes as the soft walls eat us alive” –Of Monsters and Men, “Yellow Light”


	8. The Avengers + 2 Versus The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn tries to have a nice with baby Tony, but it quickly goes to pieces when Hurricane Fury appears. Funny thing is, Hurricane Fury is no match for demented Mama Evelyn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I picked the song at the end of the chapter ("Ballad of a Politician") because it so perfectly describes the general situation and argument Evelyn has with SPOILER Nick Fury. Oh, he's such an ass and even he's terrified of the new Evelyn.

****

“ _Lift me up on my honor Take me over this spell Get this weight off my shoulders I've carried it well Loose these shackles of pressure Shake me out of these chains Lead me not to temptation Hold my hand harder Ease my mind Roll down the smoke screen And open the sky Let me fly Man I need a release from This troublesome mind Fix my feet when they're stumbling And well you know it hurts sometimes You know it's gonna bleed sometimes_  
  


_Dig me out from this thorn tree Help me bury my shame Keep my eyes from the fire They can't handle the flame Grace cut out from my brothers When most of them fell I carried it well Let me fly Man I need a release from This troublesome mind Fix my feet when they're stumbling I guess you know it hurts sometimes You know it's gonna bleed sometimes_  
  
Now hold on I'm not looking for sweet talk I'm looking for time Top a tower and sleep walk Brother, cause it hurts sometimes You know it's gonna bleed sometimes Hold on… I'm gonna climb that symphony home and make it mine Let his resonance light my way See, all these pessimistic sufferers tend to drag me down So I could use it to shelter what good I've found” –The Killers, “Sweet Talk”

Evelyn was surprised last night when Tony had aged up after getting his diaper changed. It was obvious he wasn’t going to stay like that long but it still surprised her a bit. She had forgotten how willful he could be when he wanted to. However, what surprised her more as she dressed him in a pair of Wall-E printed footie pajamas was his request. JARVIS had to help him since he was still aged down enough that some of his ‘baby-speak’ didn’t quite get his point across. It wasn’t until she had him on her hip in the kitchen while she was heating up a chocolate flavored meal replacement bottle that the request was out and understood. He wanted tomorrow to be all about just him and her. No one else was allowed to even stop by and if they did, Mama had to kick them out promptly. Evelyn tried to talk him down from it because she knew why and though his reasoning made sense, she felt it would just be enabling the habits she was trying snuff out. In truth, she really wanted to praise him and tell him that’s exactly what she wanted too- but again, she didn’t want to encourage him to be a shut-in. Eventually she did give in because they were both tired and he was literally two seconds away wailing until he ran out of tears and lost his voice. She had already told Bruce to go back to his floor because she wanted to spend her first night back with her baby boy. So she went through their bedtime routine (minus the bath, the poor baby just wouldn’t have been able to stay awake): warm bottle, lullaby, special secret, goodnight kisses, and finally, tucked into bed snuggled up to Mama.

As she wakes up in the morning at day break, she has JARVIS make sure to cover the windows so her baby can continue to sleep peacefully. Tony clutches his Cap Amee in his arms, one hand gripping Mama’s tank top, sucking on his pacifier, and nuzzling into her chest. She loves the sight of her baby boy nestled close to her and it’s the one thing she felt a huge hole with a deep ache to get back to after SHIELD kidnapped her. She never intended to get so attached to having him this way, but knowing she’s pretty much never going to have kids, it’s nice to get the general experience. She smiles as he starts to whine, sliding out of bed and taking him in her arms. As he starts to wake up, rubbing his eyes and genuinely crying, Evelyn is already laying out the changing mat on the bed with all the supplies.

“Goodness sakes, sweet pea.” She coos as she lays him down and unzips his sleeper, pulling his legs out. “Ya must have had a bad time while Mama was gone to be this upset over soggy britches.”

She pops his pacifier back in his mouth, which calms him down a bit as she untapes his diaper and starts cleaning him up with a wet wipe.

“Where’s your toesies, huh?” She asks in a light, airy tone, holding his feet up in front him.

Tony coos as he grabs his feet, one in each tiny hand and holds on, wiggling his toes.

“There they are! My baby boy’s so smart!” She praises as she rolls up the soiled diaper and slips a clean one underneath his naked bum. “Where’s Cap Amee? Is he playin’ hide and seek on ya?”

Tony releases his feet and turns his head in each direction, trying to find his beloved stuffed bear with his arms splayed out to the sides. While he’s occupied, she swiftly and gently secures the clean diaper in place, grabbing his prized bear from above his head and handing it to him. She gets his feet back in the sleeper and zips it up. Evelyn picks Tony up and bounces him on her hip, making him giggle.

“Well, I don’t think you’re going back to sleep any time soon so let’s get you fed and then we’ll have a baba and watch Wall-E.” Evelyn narrates, as she carries him to the kitchen. “How does that sound, hm?”

Tony sighs contentedly and lays his head on her shoulder, overjoyed that she can carry him now. This is the youngest he’s been in a long time, it’s rare that he ages down under a year old but he loves every second of it when Evelyn’s taking care of him.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Evelyn giggles, patting his padded bum with the hand that’s supporting it while she looks through the fridge. “Let’s see… What’s Mama gonna make her baby for breakfast…”

She knows that Bruce has been feeding him oatmeal- that’s really the only breakfast food he makes Tony when he’s little, but she knows he will and loves to eat more solid foods like eggs or pancakes. That’s it, she’ll make her big special breakfast for him. Maybe that’ll put some meat on his bones again. It’s the only meal that he’ll scarf down no matter what age and even if he claims he wasn’t hungry before and that he just doesn’t want it to go to waste- she knows better.

“How about Mama makes her special big breakfast?” Evelyn suggests as she scoots his high chair closer to the counter next to the stove and straps him in, not bothering with the tray yet.

Tony wiggles about as he coos, looking like a true infant trying to figure out what he can do with his arms and legs.

“So happy to have Mama back, aren’t we?” Evelyn smiles, gathering up all the things she’ll need to make breakfast.

When she makes her special breakfast, there’s pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, cut up bananas and strawberries, and a little bit of yogurt (absolutely no one is very keen on yogurt in the Tower but they all humor her for making such amazing food). Now, when Evelyn makes pancakes, she uses plastic bottles with decorator tips putting the batter in and coloring it with food coloring. She draws all sorts of things with the batter on the skillet, but Tony’s favorite is when she does portraits of everyone in the Tower- if she doesn’t make one of herself, he legitimately cries until she does and no amount of soothing or distracting can stop him. She only made that mistake twice, once while he was big and once while he was itty bitty- both times he cried and it broke her heart.

The part that has always entranced everyone- almost as much as her artistic abilities with pancake batter- is her capacity to multitask so extensively that absolutely everything is done and being served at the same time. So while the Iron Man pancake is cooking, she’s whisking eggs with milk and tossing them in a pan before throwing bacon in a separate pan and sausage in another. Once she flips Iron Man over to cook on the other side, she starts peeling a couple bananas and cutting them into slices and then halves. Occasionally agitating the eggs, bacon and sausage or flipping them, she puts Iron Man on a serving platter and makes a pancake that looks like her old self. She finishes chopping up the bananas and tosses them into a bowl, slipping Tony’s pacifier out just long enough to feed him a couple bites of banana. She then moves on to dicing up strawberries, being sure to cut off the tops where the leaves are attached and flips the Mama pancake.

Within no time at all, at least to baby Tony who is entranced with her actions as she keeps up a narrative for his entertainment, everything is done, including all eight pancakes depicting the current occupants of the Tower, and put onto plates that she sets on the island counter with a bottle of syrup, a glass of milk for her, and a bottle of milk for Tony.

“Ready to go for a little ride, baby boy?” Evelyn coos at him, chuckling at his excitement since this isn’t the first time she’s relocated him while in his high chair. “Ready? Weee!”

She picks up the high chair, pretending it’s a little airplane which makes him giggle wildly. She knows getting him hyped for eating so early is the best and nearly only way to get him to eat so soon after waking up. She attaches the tray, careful not to let it snap as it catches- baby Tony is deathly afraid of loud noises. She then puts a bib around his neck and starts to feed him after letting him pick out which pancake he wanted- it’s the Mama Evie one today. It goes fairly smoothly for the most part, until Tony decides that he absolutely has to play in the little dish of syrup that’s just barely in his reach.

“You’re such a silly baby, aren’t you?” Evelyn teases, shaking her head affectionately as she watches him smear syrup all over his hands and face.

Tony simply babbles happily and smiles brightly.

“Well, you certainly wouldn’t be _my_ baby if you weren’t a little messy.” Evelyn comments warmly, finally starting in on her mostly cold breakfast now that Tony’s eaten as much as his tummy can hold.

The special breakfast never fails to make him eat and she giggles a bit seeing his belly extended within the confines of the footie pajamas. If she has things her way, he’ll have a little ‘baby chub’ by the time she’s ‘done’ with him. Once Evelyn’s done scarfing down her breakfast, she takes the dishes over to the sink to wash while he naps a little later. She cleans him up, glad that she doesn’t have to try to wash Cap Amee since she had the foresight to put him off to the side before feeding him.

Evelyn unstraps Tony from the high chair and settles him on her hip with Cap Amee. She sets the bottle warmer up in the living room on the side table next ‘the cuddler’ and makes a quick trip back to the kitchen to grab a pre-filled bottle which is set next to the warmer. She has JARVIS set Wall-E up on the huge screen, grabbing Tony’s Big Hero 6 no-sew blanket, and reclines in the cuddler with her baby boy safely tucked in her arms with his pacifier in and Cap Amee held in the crook of one arm. After a while, both have dozed off and awaken just before noon. Evelyn changes Tony into a fresh diaper and makes a simple but filling lunch for them both. Just as she’s headed to the living room to have Tony play for a while after lunch and before his early afternoon nap, she hears Nick Fury’s raging thoughts, which can only mean one thing as migraine starts assaulting her head. There’s voices too, but not the ones she was used to from hearing other people’s thoughts, no these voices are hers, in her head…

“JARVIS, please tell me Nick Fury isn’t currently on the communal floor with the idiots?” Evelyn practically pleads, bouncing Tony on her hip while she pats his bum with the hand supporting it- one of his favorite positive touches when he’s under a year old.

“I’m afraid he is, though Steve is taking the brunt of his verbal assault and has managed to keep everyone else silent. Unfortunately, he does have Agent Coulson with him, who seems uncertain of the goings on within the Tower.” JARVIS informs.

“This is what I get for trying to have a nice day with my poor baby boy.” Evelyn mutters, debating on what to do.

She can’t go down to the communal floor with Tony like this- even if Fury did accept it as Tony’s therapy, the communal floor is too exposed and outsiders could find a way to see Tony whose life would then be ruined. She doesn’t really want to let him up to Tony’s penthouse where he will definitely would find out and freak out which would make Tony start wailing at the top of his little lungs. She can’t leave Tony on his own either, especially if he’s not napping. At the same time, it would cause too much suspicion to have someone swap places with her just so she could get into a yelling match and potential fist fight with the Director. Not to mention, Tony had specifically requested that it be just him and her for the entire day. At the same time, she knows his adult mind will register whatever happens as an unplanned setback that she dealt with the best she could.

Really the only option she has is to wait and see-

“Madam, Director Fury and Agent Coulson are currently locked in the elevator demanding entrance to the penthouse.” JARVIS informs her.

Well, that didn’t take long…

“Send it back down to the communal floor and have the others come up. Has he seen my mother yet?” Evelyn responds, swaying a bit to keep Tony calm as he whines a little behind his pacifier.

“Yes, I’m afraid he has, Madam. It is part of why he’s demanding to see you.” JARVIS answers as she hears the elevator going back down while Fury bitches about the AI. “He has many questions already, though he certainly will have many more about Sir’s youthfulness.”

“Trust me, if he makes my baby cry, he’s gonna wish he never even had the possibility of existing.” Evelyn promises, settling into the cuddler with her tired baby Tony.

“Very good, Madam. The elevator has returned and everyone has come up as instructed- though I am confident that Miss Amelia may be on the verge of strangling the Director.

“If she weren’t already in trouble for killing without being aligned with some sort of official force, I’d say let her.” Evelyn sighs, knowing her dozing baby boy won’t be able to stay asleep once the elevator doors open again.

“Where the fuck do get off telling me how to run my god damned agency?! We’re the ones who made you!” Fury roars, instantly awaking Tony, who wails loud enough that she’s surprised she’s not going deaf. “What the fuck is going on, Parish?!”

The others circle protectively around her and Tony. She looks up at Steve, pleading with her eyes for him to take Tony.

“Please, just take him back to his room or the other room. I’m sure ya know the security code by now.” Evelyn says softly, before turning to Tony as she hands him over. “It’s okay, sweet pea. Uncle Steve’s gonna stay with ya while Mama has a little chat with the mean man.”

After nuzzling him and handing Steve the little one’s pacifier, Steve takes Tony back to the nursery with JARVIS locking the door behind them and she rushes around the cuddler, temper quickly rising. The migraine presses itself deeper into her head as the voices get marginally louder. What is this?

“I’ll tell ya what the fuck is going on. Ya raise your voice one more damn time and scare him, I will snap your fucking neck with my own hands.” Evelyn threatens in a low and eerily calm voice as she practically stands toe to toe with him while her eyes are practically glowing in her anger. “As for the matter of ya makin’ me, fuck you. I nevah asked for this, ya fucking prick. Ya ruined my life. I was trying to protect Tony from any more stress after what ya fucking put him through by kidnapping me. If ya wanna act like a daft bastard, I’ll treat ya like one.”

Fury is still glaring at her with his one good eye, but anyone can see that even he’s afraid of what SHIELD has created.

“Now, as for my mother, she showed up out of nowhere. Dropped off as a supposedly failed Hydra experiment. If anyone needs testing, it’s her. She doesn’t know what they did and to be perfectly honest, I’m still pissed so ya can have her.” Evelyn moves on, not even waiting for a response.

Amelia frowns at this but reasons that she would like some answers and Evelyn does have some deep rooted anger issues after all that she’s been through. Still, it stings that her daughter would so easily hand her over to the people she claimed that tortured her. Natasha, Clint and Bruce are wary as they watch Fury and Evelyn, all of them tempted to restrain their human representation of a fairy, though they don’t think that would end well and quite frankly they (with the exception of Natasha, who’s Fury’s favorite by his declaration) would be content to wring his neck as much as Evelyn is practically entitled to at this point.

“So why is she alive and here?” Fury rumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fuck if I know. Ask Hydra.” Evelyn spits. “And another thing, if ya tell anyone outside of the penthouse about Tony’s therapeutic headspace, I will kidnap ya and put ya through all the same tortures, but instead of giving ya super freak abilities, I’ll slowly inject poison into your body and so much worse.”

Everyone is dead silent, watching Evelyn as if she were some strange new creature. This is not an Evelyn they have ever known. Bruce is a bit more panicked than the rest, wondering what they could have possibly done to make her this horrid. He remembers the brief description she gave of what happened, but there has to be more to it. Now that he thinks about, she had just mentioned ‘super-freak abilities’ and he knows they need that file on her and fast…

“You wouldn’t dare.” Fury responds, trying to sound unwavering but he’s clearly terrified of the conviction in her voice.

“Test. Me.” Evelyn urges with a strange look on her face.

As bad as Bruce feels about agreeing with agents who essentially tortured her, he has to admit that when she’s like this, she does seem like some sort of demon fairy… That look is one of almost sick pleasure, a sadistic dare in the format of an expression.

“Sir, I wouldn’t push her. She did throw me against a wall the other day and I did tell you about how she nearly threw me out of the window of the tower…” Phil suggests, not wanting to have to cover the press on the scandal that would erupt or scrape his boss back together for burial.

“You neglected writing up your reports, Parish. It’s been an entire day since Phil told you to write them and send them in and you still haven’t done as you’re told.” Fury reprimands, some of his fire gone.

“And I won’t write them. Not until ya tell them,” Evelyn begins, gesturing to the others in the room. “What you did to me. If there’s any hope that I will continue to be your bitch, then ya need to fess up to everything so that Bruce can help me.”

“That is out of the question, Parish. We’re not going to let you undo all our hard work just because you don’t think you’re pretty anymore.” Fury rejects.

“Sir, just tell them. It will take time for Bruce to analyze everything and start trying to find a way to reverse it and when she sees the benefits of what we’ve done, she’ll change her mind.” Phil presses.

“Fuck you both if you think I’m going to stay a freak and have everyone eyeing me like some strange mythical beast that’s suddenly been beamed into existence.” Evelyn snaps.

“Evie fairy, he’s right. You know you hate it when Tony’s assembled with us and you have to stay here. Maybe you can join us and keep an eye on him.” Bruce suggests in a quiet voice.

“I’ll _consider_ it if he tells y’all all that they have on what they did to me and why.” Evelyn qualifies, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling the pistol she stole from SHIELD move a bit between her breasts- like mother like daughter.

Fury looks between each person in the room, feeling even more inclined to acquiesce Evelyn’s request as he sees Natasha, probably Evelyn’s best female friend, giving him a look that says he’ll spill the secret or she’ll spill his blood.

As Nick Fury considers his options, he realizes they’ll probably spill his blood either way…

“ _A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens Our carefully laid plans Shake it, shake it baby Shake your ass out in that street You're gonna make us scream someday You're gonna make it big You love so deep, so tender Your people and your land You love 'em 'till they can't recall Who they are again Work it, work it baby Work your way 'round that room You're gonna make it big some day You're gonna make a boom_

 _But I am But I am But I am not a number, not a name But I am But I am But I am a carefully laid plan Shake what your mama gave you You know that it won't last You're gonna taste the ground real soon You're gonna taste the grass A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens Our world under command Shake it, shake it baby Shake your ass out in that street You're gonna make us scream someday You're gonna make us weak You're gonna make us scream someday You're gonna make it big_ ” –Regina Spektor, “Ballad of a Politician”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there is some hinting that her new 'mind reading' ability is causing her to have some level of schizophrenia as even her own mind develops it's own voices. More about that and Fury's illegal antics in the next chapter!


	9. Just For Souvenirs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury finally answers some questions. Evelyn's ready to rip him apart and scaring everyone but tiny Tony. After things start to lighten up with a fun family dinner avengers style and quickly go to hell afterwards when Steve's phone snags his attention.

“ _And I want to take his eyes out Just for looking at you Yes, I do And I want to take his hands off Just for touching you Yes, I do And I want to rip his heart out Just for hurting you And I want to break his mind down Yes, I do And I want to make him regret life Since the day he met you Yes, I do And I want to make him take back All that he took from you Yes, I do And I want to rip his heart out Just for hurting you And I want to break his mind down Yes, I do, yes, I do Yes, I do And I want to rip his heart out Just for hurting you And I want to break his mind down Yes, I do, yes, I do Yes, I do, yes, I do_ ” –Nickelback, “Just For”

[You all can imagine the many ways this song applies to this chapter with all the hurt and everything that’s going to happen.]

“You neglected writing up your reports, Parish. It’s been an entire day since Phil told you to write them and send them in and you still haven’t done as you’re told.” Fury reprimands, some of his fire gone.

“And I won’t write them. Not until ya tell them,” Evelyn begins, gesturing to the others in the room. “What ya did to me. If there’s any hope that I will continue to be your bitch, then ya need to fess up to everything so that Bruce can help me.”

“That is out of the question, Parish. We’re not going to let you undo all our hard work just because you don’t think you’re pretty anymore.” Fury rejects.

“Sir, just tell them. It will take time for Bruce to analyze everything and start trying to find a way to reverse it and when she sees the benefits of what we’ve done, she’ll change her mind.” Phil presses.

“Fuck ya both if ya think I’m going to stay a freak and have everyone eyeing me like some strange mythical beast that’s suddenly been beamed into existence.” Evelyn snaps.

“Evie fairy, he’s right. You know you hate it when Tony’s assembled with us and you have to stay here. Maybe you can join us and keep an eye on him.” Bruce suggests in a quiet voice.

“I’ll _consider_ it if he tells y’all all that they have on what they did to me and why.” Evelyn qualifies, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling the pistol she stole from SHIELD move a bit between her breasts- like mother like daughter.

Fury looks between each person in the room, feeling even more inclined to acquiesce Evelyn’s request as he sees Natasha, probably Evelyn’s best female friend, giving him a look that says he’ll spill the secret or she’ll spill his blood.

As Nick Fury considers his options, he realizes they’ll probably spill his blood either way…

“Yes, Nick, I’m sure we will spill your blood at some point.” Evelyn assures him with a wicked look, sending involuntary shivers down the man’s spine. “For now, sit, before I make you.”

Fury begrudgingly does as told and has Phil join him on the couch farthest from Tony’s play pad and toys, which Amelia follows them to, perching on the arm of the couch closest to Fury. Clint perches on the back of the opposite couch with his legs spread and Natasha settled between them at one end, on the other end sits Bruce, and Thor sits on the floor next to the play mat. Thor has been eerily silent since coming up here and she suspects that the situation is reminding him of convincing Odin to let Loki on probation as long as he remained in his brother’s care. Instead of taking a seat, she stands next to the cuddler and glares at Nick Fury. The voices in her head spastically screaming amongst themselves. Her little demonic voice telling her to just snap Fury and Phil’s necks before anything bad can happen. Its opposite argues that things will be fine as long as she’s clear and precise about everything- especially boundaries. Then, there’s her neutral voice that reminds her that her baby is somehow still screeching at the top of his lungs in the specially made nursery.

“I have to soothe my little one and get Steve. Behave or things will break.” Evelyn announces before turning on her heel and heading back to the nursery.

The door, thanks to JARVIS, automatically unlocks and opens for her. She looks at Steve, who looks heartbroken and worn out, and gives him a sympathetic smile. The door closes as she takes her bawling baby boy into her arms and starts soothing him.

“Goodness sakes, angel, ya really missed Mama!” She coos, patting his bum with the hand supporting it while the other rubs his back as she gently bounces him. “There, there. He’s gonna be nice now, but everyone’s gonna stay for a little bit because the loud man is nosy!”

As she calls Fury nosy, Evelyn rubs the tip of her nose to Tony’s and makes him smile a little. She kisses a couple stray tears off his cheeks before showering his entire face with little kisses until he’s giggling and trying to bury his face in the curvature of her neck.

“There’s my happy baby!” She cheers in a light, warm tone, giving him his pacifier as she swaps with Steve to sit in the rocking chair. “I think we’ll start our nap now and then you can sleep through all the boring grown up stuff that we’ll tell you all about when you’re older.”

“Do you want me to stay or go?” Steve asks in a soft voice.

“I thinks it’s best if you stay in here for now or you might deck Nick.” Evelyn comments, rocking Tony ever so slightly, who looks a bit sick.

“Fair point. What happened?” Steve cautiously asks, noticing Tony’s eyes drooping fast as Evelyn wipes his face with a soft cloth from the little side table next to the rocking chair.

“I answered his questions from when he first came.”

“Evelyn, please tell me you didn’t threaten the Director of SHIELD.” Steve practically begs, seeing the coy, mischievous smile playing at her lips.

“He made my baby cry.” Evelyn defends in a quiet voice, kissing Tony’s forehead as she starts humming.

“What should I expect when we go back out there?”

“They’ll all be sitting down, waiting for us. First, Fury will explain all that they’ve done to me and why. Then, we’ll be reporting Tony’s behavior from my absence and Bruce and I will explain Tony’s therapy and that if it somehow gets out, Fury will rue the day he royally pissed me off for a total of a millisecond before we start planning his funeral because he’ll already be dead.” Evelyn explains, frowning as she realizes Tony needs changed. “When did he use his diaper, Steve?”

“I honestly hadn’t realized he used it. I’m sorry, Evelyn. I’m not really accustomed to all this yet.” Steve admits, looking and sounding sincere.

“Alright, but if I have an angry Tony with diaper rash when he grows up again, you get to explain that you didn’t change him.” Evelyn allows, carefully getting up and laying Tony on the changing table.

“I deserve that.” Steve agrees, imagining Tony getting all angry and shouting at him about having diaper rash.

Evelyn’s make quick work of the change, being sure to cover his bum and privates in desitin for the barely forming rash, getting barely any fuss from the sleeping boy. She has him dressed and in her arms again, sucking on his soother contentedly while she rubs his back. Steve follows Evelyn out to the living room, immediately aware of the tense atmosphere as everyone turns to face them.

“Bruce, love, with me.” Evelyn says in a quiet voice.

Steve takes Bruce’s spot as the scientist sits next to his girlfriend in the cuddler, helping her adjust Tony. Soon, Tony’s back is towards the cushioned arm, leaning on his side into Evelyn with his head on her chest and a hand unknowingly clutching the fabric over her left breast. He has his legs stretched across his Papa’s legs as Thor grabs a microfiber avengers throw blanket from the hamper and lays it over him with a chaste kiss to Tony’s temple, Evelyn and Thor exchange warm smiles before Evelyn’s face hardens, turning to look at Fury and eyeing each person in the room.

“The first one to wake him gets a broken arm, understood?” Evelyn threatens in a level, quiet voice.

Everyone nods, Fury being the first since he knows that he’s the highest target on her hit list.

“Keep your voices level and only loud enough so that everyone in the room can hear you, any louder and I will take action to silence you and trust me, you won’t like it.” Evelyn commands, watching as they all nod. “Nick knows what I can do and he knows it can hurt like hell. Don’t be on the list that gets the firsthand experience. Starting talking, Fury.”

Fury hesitates until Amelia slides off the arm of the couch and scoots closer.

“We received information from a double agent working for SHIELD and Hydra that the latter was developing its own super soldier serum. In response, SHIELD started developing its own secret weapon that would hopefully unlock the full capacity and capabilities of the human brain that have only been speculated before. Unfortunately, the majority of test subjects either didn’t take to the injections or died from an overload created in the brain.” Fury starts to explain, mostly addressing Evelyn. “We needed someone with a complex and intelligent mind that also had exceptional medical records. The research team had been profiling for nearly a year before they dared suggest Evelyn Viviana Parish-Jarvis. Our source on Hydra’s developments was rather cryptic in his reasoning when he insisted that Parish be used as the next test subject. We assumed his reasoning to be her pristine medical record and her PhD in Clinical Psychology.”

“Who’s your source?” Steve questions, being mindful of his volume.

“A Scotsman by the name of Peter Sutherland.” Fury answers, matching Steve’s quiet voice.

“There’s no way.” Amelia argues, a little too loudly making Tony start to whine and shift.

“Sh, sh, sh, baby boy, sleep my little angel.” Evelyn coos rocking Tony a bit as she glares at her mother.

If looks could kill, they’d be holding a second funeral for Amelia. She cringes feeling bad that she of all people wasn’t as mindful of Evelyn’s threats. At the same time she’s relieved since Tony didn’t wake up.

“Sorry, darlin’.” Amelia apologizes at a much softer volume.

“How do you know him?” Evelyn presses in a quiet voice.

“He’s the Hydra agent who brought me all the way to the Tower from the base in Norway.” Amelia answers with a sigh.

“So you’re the reason he had a bloody nose and a migraine.” Fury connects, unamused.

“Move on, Fury.” Evelyn hisses, not wanting this to drag on any longer.

“We gave Evelyn several injections of the serum we created that is currently unnamed. It’s deep red in color and typically injected into the brain stem, heart and forearms. The initial injections are made in the forearms. The first round of tests are administered once the serum has had a few hours to mingle in the blood stream.  If all seems to be fine, the next set of injections are done to the heart. The same tests are administered once again and if progress is seen, the injections are directed to the brain stem. Once again the tests are run and if all come out with maximal positive results, we move on to the training phase.” Fury elaborates with a huff.

“Why did you abduct her?” Bruce questions in his pressing but quiet voice.

“We knew Evelyn would have no desire to participate in the experiment, but according to Agent Sutherland with the agreement of everyone one on the project, she was the key to success and would allow us to have a ready aid for fighting off any potential progress on Hydra’s attempt of a super soldier serum.” Fury answers smoothly, though he’s clearing growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

Bruce is starting to shake a bit, taking on a green tinge.

“Brucie-boo, hey, please don’t…” Evelyn fake pleads in a small voice as she takes one of his hands in hers. “Ya might accidently hit me and our baby…”

Bruce looks at her, seeing the worry and concern in her eerie crimson irises. He takes deep breaths repeating her words in his head, which is thankfully enough for the Other Guy to be put back in a mental meditation corner.

“Thanks, Evie Fairy.” He whispers, giving her a soft, loving but quick kiss.

“We can give Dr. Banner everything we have on the serum.” Phil adds, seeing the is situation under control. “We urge you to reconsider undoing the effects now that you know the threat that we face.”

“I’ll consider it but SHIELD is on my shit list.” Evelyn tells him with an unamused look. “That being said, if anything about Tony’s therapy being age play gets out to anyone not in this room, I will find the traitor and slowly torture said weasel. If more than one person snitches, I will make each of the offenders torture each other until I get bored and off them.”

There’s an even more tense and uncomfortable silence than before when she first forced them to sit down in the living room. None of them really wants to have to point out her sadistic threats, but someone needs to say something…

“Evie Fairy, I’m worried about you…” Bruce confesses, noting the relief coming off the others in waves. “You’ve never been this… aggressive before and honestly, it seems like you’re constantly in fight mode.”

“Go ahead, Nick. Explain to them why I’ve become more aggressive.” Evelyn prompts.

“That was one of the side effects of a hormone used in the serum.” Fury admits, not telling the full truth until Amelia places her hand in a perfect sleeper hold but abstains from using the necessary pressure. “The tests also involve a lot of harm coming to the subject to encourage them to dig deep until they come across the new found abilities, which include telekinesis, telepathy, strength and healing. Yes, we did model our healing factor after the one possessed by the mercenary Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool. However, our serum will not allow her to come back from beheading. Once a limb is gone, it’s gone. The healing factor will not work without the prompts from her brain.”

“Good boy.” Amelia breathes unpleasantly to Fury making him scowl for a moment.

“You are a sick man, Director.” Thor growls in a surprisingly quiet voice. “First you separate a female guardian from her youngling and then you torture and maim her without consent! Have you no honor, no respect, nor decency?”

“Thor, it’s a lot more complicated than that.” Phil tells him, feeling something shrivel and die inside of him at Thor’s look of pure outrage and disbelief.

“Thor, I’m pissed too, but they’re gonna get what they’re gonna get. The bright side to all this insanity is that I can now murder them both without touching them if I so please.” Evelyn insists with an unamused and grim look. “Now I can properly protect my baby.”

Thor seems to relax a bit at her words and the others are a bit uneasy with the nonchalance she has about murdering the director of SHIELD and his right hand man. Evelyn rolls her eyes and scoffs at the others.

“It’s not like ya’ll have never wanted to kill the person or people responsible for what your life has become.” Evelyn points out. “Besides, it’s time to get on with the explanation of Tony’s incident and his therapy.”

“Don’t worry, Love, I’ll explain it.” Bruce chuckles, kissing her cheek and the others automatically relax. “I’ve already done so at least five times already. I practically have a speech.”

Everyone but Fury and Phil get a chuckle out of that before Bruce takes a deep breath. He starts by explaining Tony’s peculiar therapy/coping method. He goes through everything that the two outsiders could possibly need to know, though he already knows Phil is well versed in all things age play, he feigns like he doesn’t. Clint and Phil can handle coming out about that one if it needs to happen. Once the age play explanation has been given, he moves onto explaining how the lack of age play and absence of Evelyn sent Tony into a downward spiral until he reached his current disposition.

“This is insanity. I’ve never of such foolishness as making a grown man parade around as an infant. It’s a god damn wonder this hasn’t already leaked into the press!” Fury grumbles, with an irritated sigh.

Evelyn stares pointedly at certain people (you can guess who they are).

“But if it works, keep it up. If Stark falls apart, our weapons and honestly some of our intelligence is fucked.” Fury adds, seeming to hold back a shudder. “But if I hear about one more major breakdown in your system, Parish, then I will come after you and your arrangements.”

Tony awakens slowly, starting to whine and escalating to wailing as his stomach complains, still catching up on the weeks of food he neglected to consume.

“This doesn’t count.” Bruce jokes with an amused look aimed at the director as he catches Tony’s fallen soother. “When he’s in his headspace this is a regular thing.”

“Bruce will you warm up his bottle, please?” Evelyn requests, rocking Tony side to side. “I’ll start dinner shortly, but he needs something now.”

“Of course, my love.” Bruce agrees, kissing her cheek and handing her Tony’s pacifier.

“Thanks, liebling.” Evelyn calls as he heads to the kitchen.

“I think it’s high time we get the-”

“Swear, cuss, whatever you want to call it while he’s here and awake and you’re out the window.” Evelyn warns, giving him challenging look as Tony starts to calm down when she puts his soother back in his mouth. “Besides, Nick, Phil, you can always stay for dinner.”

“I would love to.” Phil responds.

“And I would not. I better get an update from you as soon as Stark is back to normal.” Fury demands as he gets up from the couch.

“Send Peter my regards, Nick.” Amelia tells him, leaning back and crossing her legs.

“I’m not the mail man and I’m certainly not a carrier pigeon. Do it yourself. He gave you a cell phone.” Fury barks back, his voice loud enough to startle Tony into tears. “Though I will keep my eye on you!”

Amelia snickers at the ‘eye on you’ comment (she’s a little twisted after what she’s been through), and everyone else watches Evelyn warily.

“Nick, get out before I throw you out the window.” Evelyn says in a decisive, level voice as she glares at him.

Fury, realizing he has pissed off his rogue creation, throws the room a dirty look before entering the elevator. As the door closes, she turns her glare to her mother.

“You antagonized him and made Tony cry. How did you ever make a competent nanny?” Evelyn questions, continuing to rock Tony, turning her voice soft and sweet like a marshmallow, “Sh, baby, you’re okay. No more mean nosy man. He went bye-bye. Mama’s here and Papa’s getting you a nice, warm baba.”

Before Amelia can respond and defend herself, Bruce is back with one of the bottles filled with a warm meal replacement shake. Evelyn takes it from him gratefully as he sits back down next to her and slips the latex teat into Tony’s mouth.

“There we go, all better!” Evelyn sing-songs, grinning as she catches sight of Clint pouncing Phil-clearly in his headspace for the evening.

“Daddy!” Clint whines quietly as Phil holds him on his lap. “Why you been gone so long?”

“I’ve only been gone for a couple days, baby!” Phil chuckles.

“You make a good daddy for Clint,” Evelyn comments, making Tony fuss when she takes his precious bottle away long enough to burp him a bit before giving it back. “But I’m still royally peeved that you participated in my kidnapping knowing that I needed to be here for Tony.”

“Evelyn, I’m sorry and I’ll keep saying it if I have to, but I was hoping we could move on from that.” Phil replies, rubbing Clint’s back with one hand while his little boy plays with the other one.

“We will, but until I’m sure that Tony’s okay, you’re not forgiven.” Evelyn states evenly, kissing Tony’s forehead. “So what should we have for dinner tonight?”

“Lady Evelyn, if you are feeling well enough, I believe that your wonderful morning feast would be spectacular.” Thor suggests.

“Oh, God, yes. I haven’t had pancakes in forever.” Natasha agrees, her mouth already watering at the thought.

“I already made it once today for Tony,” Evelyn points out, heaving out a great sigh with a smirk. “But if everyone’s so keen on having me make it again, I suppose I can.”

Everyone cheers in their own way and starts for the kitchen, except Amelia and Bruce.

“On one condition!” Evelyn calls, her voice bringing them back wary of her words. “Once dinner is over, you all have to help clean up and then leave the penthouse entirely. I promised Tony last night that it would be just the two of us today and I’ve already pushed my luck with having you up here for Fury’s torture hours.”

They all make some movement or nod in agreement and she nods towards the kitchen.

“What’s your morning feast?” Amelia questions as the others enter the kitchen.

“Pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, bananas, strawberries, and yogurt.” Evelyn elaborates, taking the empty bottle from Tony’s mouth and burping him over her shoulder, turning her attention to him. “That was quite the sound for such a little guy! We feel much better now don’t we, baby boy?”

Tony coos happily and nuzzles his face into the curve of her neck. He loves the warmth and the way he can feel both her heartbeat and the way her chest vibrates with the sound of her humming or talking- though his favorite is when she sings.

“Evelyn, you know I wasn’t a bad mother or a bad nanny, don’t you?” Amelia asks with a sigh.

“I believed that until I came home and saw you taking over my family.” Evelyn answers evenly, rocking Tony.

“Honey, she didn’t take over your family. None of us could ever replace you, especially Tony.” Bruce disagrees.

“Then why did JARVIS tell me that Tony immediately started calling her Mama, my title after the decades I have dedicated to him? Why did she offer to take over as his mother figure?” Evelyn presses, being careful to stay calm.

“He missed you and we look a lot alike so he probably just wanted to feel like he was with you again.” Amelia reasons, hoping to resolve the issue.

“I don’t think you need to be very involved with him, mother. I’m sure you’ll just break him again.” Evelyn tells her, dismissing her improbable logic.

“Fair enough but I still want to be in his life.” Amelia qualifies with a sigh.

“That’s fine by me.” Evelyn agrees, resituating Tony so that he’s facing her and straddling her lap. “I need to start dinner though. You guys are welcome to join in the kitchen or stay out here and chat.”

With that, Evelyn hauls herself out of the cuddler, leaving the blanket next to Bruce. She grabs a couple of Tony’s blocks from the play mat, cooing at Tony as she bends over and stands back up. She carries him into the kitchen and straps him into his high chair, scooting it across the kitchen floor like she did at breakfast time. She puts the tray on, careful not to snap it, and places Tony’s blocks on it, putting his pacifier in his mouth. Soon, Amelia and Bruce are in the kitchen and sitting with the others.

“You guys are welcome to come play with Tony, especially you Clint, but he’s staying over here by me.” Evelyn informs them, starting to pull the necessary items together from the overstocked kitchen. “JARVIS the karaoke mix for baby Tony please.”

“Playing it now, Madam.” JARVIS responds, queuing it up.

“Thanks JARVIS.” Evelyn responds, starting to sing “Fireflies” by Owl City. “You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep 'Cause they'd fill the open air And leave teardrops everywhere. You'd think me rude But I would just stand and, stare. I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth, turns, slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay Awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems 'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they try to teach me how to dance. A foxtrot above my head A sock hop beneath my bed A disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread). I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth, turns, slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay Awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems When I fall asleep.”

Bruce steals her away from her mixing and prepping to dance a bit as she continues to sing. Tony coos and wiggles about in his high chair, watching his Mama and Papa dance.

“Get a room!” Amelia teases.

“Come on, let the woman cook!” Natasha chides, smiling and shaking her head.

Evelyn and Bruce both laugh as they part. Bruce playfully smacks her bum with his hand as she turns away.

“Hey now! Be appropriate, Mistah!” Evelyn jokingly scolds as she looks back him before resuming her cooking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bruce responds with a coy smile.

Steve shakes his head, moving his bar stool away from the island counter, and plants himself next to Tony’s high chair playing with him and talking to him. He doesn’t expect anything other than gibberish, but he still enjoys the interaction.

“Are you guys ready?” Evelyn asks, looking around at everyone’s faces with a huge grin. “Group sing along!”

“Auntie Ev!” Clint whines, sitting on Phil’s lap.

“You do not wanna hear me sing.” Phil tells her.

“It’ll be fun. I think we should try it.” Bruce says, ever on his lovely fairy’s side.

“What song?” Natasha questions, unsure of how this will go.

“Switchfoot’s ‘Hello Hurricane.’ It’s so much fun to sing to, right, Steve?” Evelyn says, grinning at the Captain’s vivid blush.

“It’s a good song.” Steve agrees.

The song starts up and Evelyn kicks it off.

“I've been watching the skies. They've been turning blood red. Not a doubt in my mind anymore, There's a storm up ahead,” Evelyn sings in a rich alto.

“Hello hurricane, you're not enough. Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love. I've got doors and windows boarded up. All your dead end fury is not enough! You can't silence my love, my love,” Steve and Bruce join in.

Evelyn, Steve, and Bruce continue to sing together until the last run through of the chorus, when all the others, except for Tony who’s still in his headspace, join in.

“Hello hurricane, you're not enough. Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love. I've got doors and windows boarded up. All your dead end fury is not enough! You can't silence my love!” They all belt out together while Evelyn cooks and Steve holds Tony’s hands so they can ‘dance.’ “Yeah, I said hello hurricane!”

They all sing a bunch of songs the group knows that Evelyn approves of for while Tony’s still little. By the time the playlist runs out, Evelyn’s heated up the leftovers and served those up while Bruce throws what she just pulled together onto serving dishes. They all sit down to eat after Evelyn situates Tony back at the island with his bib on. Dinner goes fairly smoothly and the others keep their promise and help clean up starting to file out as each person’s task is finished. In what seems like no time at all, it’s down to Evelyn, baby Tony, Steve, and Bruce. Before Steve and Bruce can even exit the kitchen, Steve’s Stark-phone makes a chiming sound to let him know he has a new notification. He pulls it out of the pocket of his jeans and checks out the news story that was just posted.

“We have a problem.” Steve says, looking kind of pale as he looks up from the device.

“What problem?” Evelyn asks, trying to remain calm as she takes Tony in her arms.

“Somebody leaked about Tony and Clint’s age play.” Bruce grimaces, peering at the story on the screen.

“How?! Who?!” Evelyn questions, fighting the urge to shriek and go on a rampage.

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to look into it further…”

“If Nick Fury opened his mouth about it to anyone, he’s going to die.” Evelyn says, looking calm on the outside but there’s no mistaking the murderous glow to her already foreboding crimson irises.

“We don’t know that it was him. Someone could have bugged the Tower. With Tony being so young minded now and so overtired before, he probably forgot to run through his systems and recode everything. It’s rare, but it’s happened before.” Bruce points out.

“He’s right. We should do all out research before we start a man hunt.” Steve agrees.

“Fine. Do your research. JARVIS, you’re already on it, aren’t you?” Evelyn responds with a huge sigh, kissing Tony’s forehead.

“Yes, Madam. Synthesizing all possibilities to be further investigated.” JARVIS informs her.

“Well, I’m going to start getting him settled in for the night. We skipped out bath last night because the poor baby was just too tired.” Evelyn announces, kissing Bruce as he leans in towards her. “Night, liebling. Night Steve.”

Bruce and Steve both kiss Tony’s forehead and take their leave to get to work with their investigation. Evelyn’s head spins with thoughts and accusations as she carries Tony to the bathroom for a nice bubble bath. She could use one herself at this point anyway. Once the bath is over with she goes through the rest of their nightly routine without any issues or fussing from Tony, who’s too tired to either way. As her head hits the pillow with Tony snuggled up to her with Cap Amee and sucking on his soother, she realizes she’s not going to get any sleep.

It’s going to be a long night for the poor battered fairy woman with demon eyes…

“ _Here’s to the twilight here’s to the memories these are my souvenirs my mental pictures of everything Here’s to the late nights here’s to the firelight these are my souvenirs my souvenirs I close my eyes and go back in time I can see you’re smiling, you’re so alive we were so young, we had no fear we were so young, we had no idea that life was just happening life was just happening Here’s to your bright eyes shining like fireflies these are my souvenirs the memory of a lifetime we were wide-eyed with everything, everything around us we were enlightened by everything, everything… we were so young, we had no fear we were so young, we had no idea that nothing lasts forever nothing lasts forever nothing lasts nothing lasts you and me together were always now or never_ ” –Switchfoot, “Souvenirs”


	10. Unwanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is walking the line between little and big as he discovers what had Steve and Bruce worried. Evelyn is right there to help him through it until she can enact her plan to shift the Media's focus. Later, Bruce, Steve, Evelyn and Tony discover they're practically content with the disaster compared to the others.

“ _I looked away Then I looked back at you You tried to say The things that you can't undo If I had my way I'd never get over you But today's the day I pray that we make it through Make it through the fall Make it through it all And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you I don't wanna talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you I don't wanna talk about it… You're the only one I'd be with 'til the end When I come undone You bring me back again Back under the stars Back into your arms… I don't wanna talk about it And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you I don't wanna talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you And I don't wanna talk about it…_ ” –Avril Lavigne, “Fall to Pieces”

Evelyn doesn’t know when she drifted into a restless sleep, but she did. As she awakens, panic overtakes her noticing the absence of Tony. Cap Amee is staring her in the face as she lays on her side. She throws herself out of bed and changes out of her nightgown into a pair of yoga pants and a baseball style iron man t-shirt with Tony’s face plastered on it.

“Madam, Sir appears to be wavering between headspaces in the living room. He is watching the news. I was unable to dissuade or altogether stop him.” JARVIS informs her.

“Thanks, J.” Evelyn responds dashing out to the living room.

Sure enough, Tony is sitting on his play mat with his knees pulled to his chest and arms wrapped around them, still in his sleeper and (she assumes) diaper from the previous night, staring at the television screen. Some male news anchor and his female co-reporter are trying not laugh and/or vomit as they show images depicting Tony and Clint-clearly in their headspaces- and discuss the ‘shocking revelation that the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist either has a kink or a serious issue.’ Evelyn slowly approaches and sits down next to him. As she finally gets a look at his face, she can see that he’s crying and sucking anxiously on his soother.

“Hi, sweet pea…” Evelyn greets in a quiet voice, her heart breaking. “I wish you would’ve got me up, even if you weren’t feeling little.”

Tony finally looks at her, sticking his chin out in his classic way to signal that he wants her to take his pacifier out.

“I felt funny… I didn’t know what was going on but I thought I wanted some time to myself.” Tony tells her, his voice cracking. “I guess I finally get why Papa and Daddy were so worried last night…”

“Daddy? Baby, is Steve daddy?” Evelyn questions, feeling a little confused and in awe.

Tony had never wanted a daddy and took a long time cozying up to Bruce for him to even call the scientist Papa. Because he was so little the other night, he wouldn’t speak because he was too young to form words. Evelyn assumes that if he had been in his usual one year old headspace that he would’ve called Steve ‘daddy.’ It makes sense since Steve took it upon himself to finally force Tony to go to bed and then to let him in. The more she thinks about it, the more it seems to fit, though Evelyn knows that’s not how he initially planned to start something more than friends with Steve, but he was still too damn scared of take charge men like their confident leader.

“Mmhmm…” Tony hums, blushing a bit. “He cares about me lots. He took care of me when everyone else was either gone or too afraid to accidentally hurt me.”

“He does care about you a lot. He’s been up all night trying to find out who did this to you and Clint. So has Papa…” Evelyn tells him, stretching her legs out and pulling him onto her lap. “JARVIS, turn the TV off please.”

“Happily, Madam.” JARVIS agrees, the TV screen quickly going black.

“Should we make some breakfast for Daddy and Papa and have JARVIS bring them up?” Evelyn suggests, rocking him a bit.

Tony doesn’t say anything, but he nods. He opens his mouth and Evelyn slips his pacifier in. She kisses his tears away and decides she wants to try something he’s liked in the past.

“Darlin', you're hidin' in the closet once again. Start smilin', I know you're tryin' real hard not to turn your head away, pretty darlin'. Face tomorrow, tomorrow's not yesterday, yesterday. Pretty please, I know it's a drag. Wipe your eyes and put up your head. I wish you could be happy instead. There's nothing else I can do but love you the best that I can,” Evelyn sings softly hearing Tony sniffle as he shifts himself to rest his head on her chest. “Darlin', I was there once a while ago. I know that it's hard to be stuck with people that you love when nobody trusts. Pretty please, I know it's a drag, wipe your eyes and put up your head. I wish you could be happy instead. There's nothing else I can do but love you the best that I can…”

“Mama…” Tony murmurs, letting his soother fall into her waiting hand.

He loves that he can always count on her to know just what to do and when. He supposes it’s even easier for her now that she’s telepathic. The only thing is, her poor baby’s mind is so torrential that she’d have to dedicate a lot of time just to get one clear thought from him.

“What is it, angel?” She asks, kissing the top of his head.

“Can we just go see Daddy and Papa now?” He asks in a small voice as he sniffles.

“Of course, baby. I know you like to wait to eat anyway…” Evelyn responds. “Do you want Mama to carry you or do you wanna walk?”

“Walk for now…” Tony responds, getting up as she unwinds her arms from around him.

“Okay, but you’re holding my hand.” Evelyn qualifies as she gets to her feet.

“I know. Not supposed to go anywhere without holding Mama’s hand, not even supposed to be out of her sight.” Tony responds, his tears coming faster as guilt eats at him. “I sowwy, Mama! I was really naughty while Mama was gone and even this morning while Mama slept!”

“Oh, baby, sh… It’s okay. Mama’s not mad, but definitely not letting you out of my sigh for a second.” Evelyn soothes, picking Tony up and carrying him back to the bedroom as she notices he needs changed. “Let’s get you changed and then we’ll go see Daddy and Papa. We need to tell Daddy that he’s a daddy, don’t we?”

Tony just nods as he sobs and hiccups into her shoulder and then into Cap Amee and his pacifier once she gets him laid down.

“Do we wanna get dressed or are we have a day in our jammies?” Evelyn asks as she unzips the sleeper and pulls his legs out.

Tony holds up one finger and she nods, untaping his diaper. She quickly but gently changes him into a fresh diaper and kisses his tummy, making him smile a bit.

“Stay right there while I grab some clothes for you.” Evelyn instructs kissing the little knob of his pacifier.

Evelyn goes into Tony’s closet and grabs one of his short and long sleeve tee shirts and a pair of gray cargo pants with a pair of fuzzy black grip socks. When she returns to the bed she’s met with a sad sight. His face is contorted as if he were fighting a breakdown and his pacifier is deathly still.

“I know, baby, I know.” Evelyn says with a sad smile as she sits him up.

She pulls his sleeper off and helps him into his shirt and helps him stand. Evelyn bends over and holds his pants for him to step into. He grabs onto her shoulder and slips his feet in one at a time. She pulls that pants up over his diaper and fastens them in place. She internally flinches as he tucks Cap Amee into the bed and takes her hand. He normally never wants to be without his beloved teddy bear if he’s even the slightest bit little.

“Buh bye, Cap Amee.” Tony says in a soft voice around his pacifier, waving to his bear from their place in the doorway. “I tell ‘addy you says hi.”

“Come on, sweet pea.” Evelyn says, walking them to the kitchen. “Sippy or baba today?”

He raises up two fingers, grabbing onto her shirt when she lets go of his hand.

“What do you think, baby? Like Mama’s shirt?” Evelyn asks with a grin, turning towards him while the premade bottles warms up.

“’At me!” Tony smiles.

“That’s right!” Evelyn agrees, her face soft and showing her adoration for him as she caresses his cheek. “Even if the entire world turns its back on you, I will still be right here with you. I don’t care what they think or say, you’re the only one who deserves all the love and adoration in the world. I love you so much and nothing will ever change that…”

Tony’s bottom lip quivers behind the pacifier as he buries his face in the curve of her neck while he hugs her close. He knows she would never lie to him and never has. If she promises something like that, she means it. She and Bruce even keep their relationship open so that she can be with him as his lover when he needs it, which only proves how much they care for him. He knows he doesn’t have to say ‘I love you’ for her to know that she’s practically his entire world and always has been. That’s just how close they are.

“Come on, baby boy, I’ve got your baba so let’s go tell Daddy the good news. I’m sure it will brighten his everything.” Evelyn encourages as she rubs his back.

After a couple more minutes, he releases her and they hold hands as she walks to the closet, grabbing an inconspicuous messenger bag that she uses for his diaper bag. She slips the bottle inside and they slip into the elevator. Thankfully, every way the outside world could look into the tower has been closed off and covered up, making the fluorescent hallway lights and the softer room lights the only lights in the entire building. As they got off on the floor to Bruce’s lab, she thinks over how to tell Tony about her decision. The voices in her head became a regular part of her after the encounter with Fury and they had squabbled for hours before they all came to the agreement that she needed to handle the press. If nothing else, she would tell them how SHIELD experimented on her to distract them from Tony’s strange therapy. She cares about Clint too, but if she’s honest with herself, Tony’s her top priority no matter what, even Bruce letting the Other Guy out comes second to anything having to do with Tony. She feels a bit guilty but she talked to Bruce about it and he even agreed that Tony should always come first because even if she leaves Bruce, there will always be Tony.

“Bruce! Steve!” Evelyn calls as they enter the lab while JARVIS starts turning the lights on.

“What? Where is he?!” Steve drowsily demands, sitting up from his position hunched over a counter.

“Why? Did we…?” Bruce groans, rubbing his face.

“Well, good morning.” Evelyn laughs, trying to make the situation more light-hearted as Tony presses closer to her side. “Our little angel wanted to come down and see you.”

He knows she’s going to tell Steve that he’s Daddy now and he’s terrified that Steve will just walk away or even worse get angry and hurt him.

“Morning, buddy.” Steve greets, smiling for the first time since he saw the leaked images.

“Hi, sweetie!” Bruce enthuses, getting up and embracing Tony and giving Evelyn a kiss. “Looks like our little genius had a rough morning, huh?”

At that, Steve practically sling-shots out of his seat and over to their little cluster. He looks Tony over and they can practically see the super soldier’s heart breaking on his face. Tony’s face is stained with tears, his eyes are puffy and red, and his nose is stuffed up. Not even bothering with asking for the little’s permission, Steve scoops Tony up into his arms like a toddler. He holds the smaller man’s head to his shoulder and kisses his temple.

“I’m so sorry, Tony. We were hoping we could make it all go away before you found out.” Steve apologizes, moving the hand away from Tony’s head to rub his back.

“Well, it’s time for the good news.” Evelyn announces, with a soft smile while Bruce wraps an arm around her waist. “Steve’s a daddy.”

Steve looks right at her, suspicion, confusion and happy surprise scrawled all over his face.

“He told me this morning. He was talking about how he noticed that Papa and Daddy seemed worried last night.” Evelyn explains, giggling at the goofy smile that starts spreading across Steve’s face.

“Is that true, buddy? Do I get to be Daddy?” Steve asks as Tony blushes and his face in the curve of his Daddy’s neck. “I am honored! So when do I get to start bragging to the others?”

“Daddy!” Tony playfully whines, his pacifier dropping between him and Steve.

“Ah, shoosh, Daddy’s having his moment. Let’s go brag.” Steve grins, putting Tony’s pacifier in as Tony rolls his eyes.

Evelyn and Bruce laugh as they follow Steve and Tony into the elevator to go to the communal floor. They’re sure that everyone’s heard by now. As the elevator dings and the doors open, the four are startled by the scene in front of them. Clint is sobbing on the living room floor in just a t-shirt and, surprisingly, a diaper between Thor and Phil, Natasha is pissed and playing with one of her knives, and Amelia is sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.

“And I thought we took it bad…” Bruce murmurs as they all step out into the communal floor.

As Evelyn looks over the scene, her body starts to shake and her breathing shallows as the voices in her head start yelling over each other, telling her she needs to stop being a pansy and get to work. Steve is stunned, holding Tony a little tighter, and the little genius is burying his face in Steve’s neck, not used to seeing Clint crying or in a diaper and feeling very unsettled by it.

“Someone’s going to die.” Evelyn says in a quiet voice with a distant look in her eye and a blank look on her face.

“… _And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am…_ ” – The Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris”

“… _No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen. Places, places, get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains. Picture, picture, smile for the picture Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister? Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains. D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E I see things that nobody else sees…_ ” –Melanie Martinez, “Dollhouse”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Evelyn sings to Tony in this chapter is "Darlin'" by Avril Lavigne.  
> I'm going to do a split chapter on Chapter 12, showing some of what Evelyn deals with when it comes to the press, but mostly focusing on how Tony is while he's under Steve's care


	11. How It All Fell Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see how the foursome handles the chaotic turmoil of the rest of the tower. Then, Evelyn spills her plans to fix the leak. Steve starts to learn what it's like to be loved and relied on and finds some unexpected results.

“… _If ever your world starts crashing down Whenever your world starts crashing down Whenever your world starts crashing down That's where you'll find me Lost till you're found, swim till you drown Know that we all fall down Love till you hate, strong till you break Know that we all fall down…_ ” –One Republic, “All Fall Down”

“Natasha, what’s going on?” Evelyn questions, feeling a bit lightheaded as the voices get louder.

“Sutherland escaped.” Natasha informs her, nearly cutting herself on her knife at being pulled out of her angered trance. “We think Fury helped him get out.”

The voices reach a screeching level, outraged by the new intel.

“Shut up!” Evelyn hisses, pressing her fingers to her temples.

“What’s going on, Evie?” Bruce questions, alarmed.

“There’s these voices in my head and they won’t stop…” Evelyn whispers, not wanting the others to hear her.

Steve goes to sit criss-cross in front of Clint with Tony clinging like a koala.

“We need to get you to the lab then. When did it start?” Bruce presses, trying to guide her back to the elevator.

“No, I need to find out what’s going on.” Evelyn disagrees pulling away as the voices finally quiet down at the threat of being analyzed. “Besides, it stopped. JARVIS?”

“Madam.” JARVIS addresses her.

“What do we know about Sutherland’s escape?”

“It seems that someone hacked my server and systematically blocked out the cameras along his path. From what I gather, he managed to get all the way up to the penthouse, possibly through ventilation, undetected. He did leave in the Director’s car with the Director, though it seems he was unaware of Agent Sutherland’s presence in his vehicle. The agent’s actions do not appear to be for SHIELD. It is possible that Hydra is trying to destroy Sir so that Shield cannot fight back since their most advanced inventor would be completely discredited and therefore unable to perform tasks for the department without extreme controversy and ridicule.” JARVIS explains.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t they target someone that I’d rip throats out to protect?” Evelyn grumbles, feeling worse by the second but even surer of her need to confront the press.

“Evie, please don’t get violent unless you’re being physically threatened.” Bruce pleads in a soft voice. “If you don’t want them to chase after you to condemn you as a monster, you have to remember to be the human you are…”

“I know, Bruce.” Evelyn tells him, irritated with his assumption. “I am going to have a press conference on behalf of our little guys, though. There has to be a way to fix this.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m just worried.” Bruce says, kissing her cheek. “I understand, but be careful…”

Evelyn nods and approaches Clint. The poor guy looks worn down, not to mention the fatigue displayed on Phil and Thor. She looks around for Natasha.

“Agent Romanov has gone down to the training floor.” JARVIS informs her.

Evelyn sighs and stretches her arms out to Clint with a sympathetic smile. He reaches back, so she picks him up and holds him close.

“Hi, sweetie.” Evelyn greets with a soft voice and a kiss to his temple. “I know you’re upset and it’s the worst day ever, but Auntie Evie’s gonna make it all better. The only problem is that I need your help. I need you and Tony to cheer each other up while I make everything all better.”

“I can do that…” Clint sniffles, starting to calm down some. “What Auntie Evie gonna do?”

“I’m gonna tell those meanies that someone’s making things up about you two so no one will like you and that those pictures were drawn on to make it look like you’re little guys when you’re not.” Evelyn explains in a quiet voice, giving Phil and Thor a thumbs up to go to bed. “If they won’t believe me, then I’ll give them a new story and then I’ll make sure no one remembers the old story.”

“What new story?” Clint asks, clearly stuffed up as she rubs his back.

Warily, but thankfully Phil and Thor walk towards the guest rooms to sleep. They hope Evelyn knows what she’s doing.

“How Auntie got her red eyes and all her new powers. They’ll be more excited about such a crazy story and going after Mr. Fury. Then they’ll all forget that you and Tony were ever discovered as little ones.” Evelyn answers.

“That mean you leaving?” Clint questions, pulling back a bit to look at her.

“Yeah, sweetie. I’m probably going to have Auntie Tasha come with me so we can find the big meanie who tattled to all the bullies.” Evelyn responds, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be fine, but I’ll be gone on and off during the week. Uncle Steve and Papa Bruce are gonna watch Tony and Daddy Phil and Uncle Thor will be here too of course.”

“When were you going to tell us that?” Steve questions, getting to his feet while Tony cries into his shoulder.

“I guess I just did…” Evelyn sighs. “I hadn’t figured out how to tell you before, but I know I can’t let them humiliate my baby.”

“I get that, which is why Bruce and I had been tracking Sutherland. JARVIS told about his escape last night. The only problem is that Sutherland seems to just disappear off the face of the earth after he left the Director’s car at Shield.” Steve responds, rubbing Tony’s back. “JARVIS even hacked into Shield and he was nowhere to be found.”

“All the more reason that I need to go handle the press. Mom will be here and she can help you and Bruce if she needs to.” Evelyn points out, shifting so her sleepy Clint is on her hip. “I’ll stay tonight and tomorrow morning to get you settled with his schedule. I’ll be gone to deal with the press until after dinner, but I’ll be back in time to put him to bed.”

“Evelyn, dear, you can’t leave him when he’s so fragile.” Amelia argues, coming out of her miserable stupor.

“Amelia, she has to go or Tony will be ruined in more than one way.” Bruce reminds her with a deep frown.

“I should be out hunting Peter. I have his… That’s right! I can’t believe I already forgot! I have Peter’s number.” Amelia points out, trying to follow her daughter’s order to not get involved with Tony.

 “JARVIS, can ya get into her phone and get the number?” Evelyn asks, feeling a little more relieved.

“I’m afraid not, Madam. It is incompatible with my software, though I can tell you such a thing was intended since it is a phone type commonly distributed to Hydra agents. It does further confirm the suspicion that Agent Sutherland is likely using his phone and photographs to ruin Sir’s standing in society.” JARVIS answers.

“I’ll call him. He’ll be way less suspicious that way.” Amelia says, getting to her feet. “I have a feeling that he’d figure out if we were tracking him, but he apparently has a thing for me so I might as well use it to our advantage.”

“Even after ya smashed his head against a steering wheel, he has a thing for ya?” Evelyn questions, looking a bit skeptical but dismissive. “Ya really know how to pick ‘em, Mom.”

“What can I say? I apparently have a way with idiots.” Amelia replies with a shrug, fishing her phone out of the pocket of her jeans.

“I don’t think he classifies as an idiot after what he’s done.” Steve disagrees with a frown, turning his attention to Tony, who’s still crying. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Baba…” Tony sniffles, his pacifier falling between him and Steve once again.

Amelia slips out of the living room to one of the many unoccupied guest rooms on the communal floor with the phone held up to her ear. Evelyn watches her go with an eyebrow raised but ultimately shrugs it off. She probably just doesn’t want Tony to hear anything.

“He’s hungry, Daddy.” Evelyn explains, pulling the still warm bottle out of the messenger bag and handing it to him. “When he says baba, that’s what he wants. There’s very few reasons why he cries, which are being hungry, wanting attention, needing changed, being hurt, or being scared.”

“How do I know which one it is?” Steve questions, following her to sit on the couches and feed Tony.

“Oh you’ll know, Steve.” Bruce chuckles.

“If he’s not in your arms or by your side, then he probably wants your attention. He needs fed about every two hours since he didn’t eat while I was gone so if it’s been over two hours, he probably just needs fed. If he’s hurt, it will be fairly obvious. He’s only really scared of being alone, new people, thunder storms, and really anything loud. As for needing changed, he has a very distinct and heart- breaking cry that he sounds when he needs changed, though sometimes the same cry is used when he wants your attention if he’s particularly clingy.” Evelyn explains, shifting Clint in her lap so he’s cradled against her chest like a baby. “I’ve never had Clint and Tony spend time with each other while in their headspaces so I really don’t know what to expect. Clint’s very active and playful, but he’s very cuddly and caring in his headspace. Tony’s more like a true to life baby. You can have him entertain himself for a while but ultimately he’ll either do something, like trying to roll onto his tummy or refusing to play with his toys, or he’ll just wail his little heart out to get you to hold him and be with him constantly.”

“I don’t know if I can do this…” Steve confesses as Tony nurses the bottle to the half way point. “I’m honestly afraid I might break him or something…”

“He’ll be fine, Steve, though you do need to burp him before he drinks anymore of his bottle or he’ll get an upset stomach from the air bubbles. If his stomach gets upset, he cries.” Evelyn responds, watching him follow her instructions. “See? You’re already doing great. Besides, I am staying tonight and tomorrow morning to teach you the things I’m telling you. It’ll be you doing everything, but I’ll be there for reference and because Tony won’t be happy with me if I just take off.”

“Okay, I trust you.” Steve replies, resituating Tony as he gives the fussy little his bottle back. “You are going to teach me how to change him, right?”

“Of course, Steve. That’s probably one of the most important things you’ll need to know about.” Evelyn giggles, amused by the nervousness in his voice. “I’m gonna go change Clint’s diaper and get him tucked in with Phil. After that, we’ll head back up to Tony’s and start talking about his schedule.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take him so you two can head up now?” Bruce questions, know Steve is going to be a nervous wreck if he doesn’t spend the entire day getting accustomed to baby Tony.

“I’ll only be a minute. He’s docile and it’s not my first time changing a diaper.” Evelyn answers with a playful smile towards Steve, who’s blushing.

Evelyn gets up and leaves with Clint sleeping in her arms with the elusive thumb-sucking making an appearance. Before Bruce can even suggest that they start to get up and head to the elevator, Evelyn is back and hauling him off the couch.

“How do you do that?” Steve questions, popping the pacifier in Tony’s mouth before he can drift off.

“Practice. I started Clint on the therapy while Tony was still exploring his other options.” Evelyn explains with a warm smile as Tony nestles closer to Steve while the super soldier rises from the couch. “Let’s get him set up for nap time.”

With that they head back up to Tony’s floor. The day proceeds smoothly enough as Evelyn goes through every little thing Steve wants to know and Bruce adds in his experiences with watching Tony by himself, giving the super soldier some fail safes in case Tony gets especially fussy. The ‘crisis’ starts when Tony wets his diaper and starts crying.

“Is this the ‘change me’ cry?” Steve asks, clearly worried as Tony escalates to bawling loudly.

“Ya got that right, Daddy.” Evelyn confirms, her expression and tone rather somber. “There’s changing supplies in his room and the nursery. I’m going to have you use the changing table in the nursery most of the time unless he’s been sleeping in his bed with you, in which case there’s an easy to clean changing mat that can be warmed, kind of like an electric blanket.”

The three of them file into the nursery and Steve lays Tony on the changing mat. He simply stands there, feeling the ache in his heart at his newly ‘adopted’ baby’s cries, as he waits for Evelyn’s instruction. She sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes.

“Well, go on! Take his pants off, Daddy!” Evelyn chastises, amazed that he couldn’t pull himself together enough to figure it out on his own.

Steve does as told and is confronted with the sight of the completely soiled diaper in front of him. If it weren’t soiled, the little chibi avengers would have been adorable. The diapers are clearly custom ordered.

“These are cute.” Steve comments awkwardly as he starts to untape the diaper.

“Tony practically screeched when we got them. When they’re dry they have little pictures of Hydra agents and all sorts of enemies that fade out of existence when he’s wet.” Evelyn replies, nuzzling into Bruce’s side as he puts an arm around her. “Once you toss the wet the diaper, take the wipes there and clean him up good. Don’t be afraid to be generous with the lotion and the desitin before you tape up the clean diaper.”

Steve nods in appreciation, deciding to try one of Evelyn’s techniques for calming Tony. He clears his throat and starts to hum.

“Now I stared at you from across the room until both my eyes were faded. I was in a rush, I was out of luck. Now I'm so glad I waited. Well you were almost there, almost mine, yeah. They say love ain't fair but I'm doing fine 'Cause I swear it’s you, I swear it’s you. I swear it’s you that I’ve waited for and I swear it’s you, I swear it’s you. I swear it’s you that my heart beats for and it ain’t gonna stop, no it just won’t stop,” Steve sings in a low baritone, his voice warm and soft like a microfiber blanket on sensitive skin and very soothing to a now clean baby Tony. “Now you are fire by night but when the morning light comes, comfortable as rain on Sunday and I’m a lucky soul that holds your hand so tight. Hope you hear this one day. Don’t fool yourself this is my truth. I swear it’s you, I swear it’s you. I swear it’s you that I've waited for. I swear it’s you, I swear it’s you. I swear it’s you that my heart beats for and it ain’t gonna stop, it just won’t stop. You take this hand, you take this heart. Stir my bones from a thousand miles apart. It feels so cold without you like it's ten shades of winter and I need the sun.”

Steve nods at Evelyn and Bruce to join in as he slips a clean diaper under Tony’s nude bum.

“And I swear it’s you, I swear it's you. I swear it's you I waited for. I swear it’s you, I swear it's you. I swear it’s you that my heart beats for.” The three sing with Evelyn adding a rich alto and Bruce, a deep bass. “I swear it’s you, I swear it’s you. I swear it’s you that I’ve waited for. I swear it's you, I swear it's you. I swear it’s you that my heart beats for and it ain’t gonna stop, it just won’t stop. It just won’t stop, it just won't stop no…”

By the time the three have finished their song for Tony, he’s in much brighter spirits. His pants are back on and he’s firmly planted on Steve’s hip with his pacifier bobbing in his mouth. Evelyn feels something amiss and that’s when she remembers he left Cap Amee in the bed this morning after getting his diaper changed. Evelyn slips out of Bruce’s arms and into the bedroom, leaving the three males completely confused- and Tony a little frazzled at having their little family moment ruined by her absence.

“A certain furry friend was thinking of you and Mama heard.” Evelyn announces, approaching Steve and Tony with the bear behind her back and throwing a wink to Bruce who smiles and shakes his head.

“Please tell me you guys didn’t get him some sort of pet.” Steve responds.

“Nope. Do you know who it is, baby boy?” Evelyn coos, making the teddy bear peek out from behind her and go back into hiding.

“Cap Amee!” Tony rejoices in a very childish voice as Steve catches his pacifier.

“Are you sure?” Evelyn asks, making the teddy bear peek around her other side and hide again.

“Uh huh Mama!” Tony declares, fake pouting.

“What do you think, Papa, is he right?” Evelyn asks, completely turning around and launching the bear at Tony as if it had come alive and jumped away. “Oh no, he escaped!”

Tony giggles and clutches the bear close.

“’At cause Cap Amee is da bestest jus’ like Daddy!” Tony declares with a scarlet blush.

Steve hugs the little even closer and kisses his cheek. Evelyn fake swoons at how cute Tony is and Bruce catches her with an affectionate smirk and shake of the head.

“He’s too cute. I can’t handle the cute!” Evelyn dramatically declares with a hand to her forehead as Tony giggles.

“Mama siwwy!” Tony tells her, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder with his teddy squished between him and Daddy.

“That’s right, sweetie.” Bruce agrees, hauling her back to her feet. “Mama’s very silly. Remember when she was the frosting monster?”

“Frosting monster, huh?” Steve chuckles, leading them out to the living room.

“That was one time!” Evelyn defends, pouting as she sits on Bruce’s lap on the couch. “Are you seriously going to bring this up every time?”

“Yes, my little fairy, I am.” Bruce laughs, booping her nose.

Evelyn scrunches up her nose and shakes her head making the others laugh as she pouts.

“Baby, Papa and Daddy are picking on me!” Evelyn tattles.

“Uh huh cause Mama siwwy!” Tony responds, not about to ruin the fun.

They go on like that for quite some time until Tony needs fed again. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and Steve starts feeling a hell of a lot more comfortable as Tony’s Daddy. In fact, he realizes that the hole he used to feel within himself is gone when he’s with his new pseudo-family. At the same time, there’s a nagging feeling in Steve that tells him that there’s something that’s still missing but he can’t seem to put his finger on the problem….

As he watches his baby boy sleep with his soother bobbing in his mouth, Steve feels at peace. He knows tomorrow isn’t going to be a good day since Evelyn will be gone and Tony will be fussy because of that, but that’s not what bothers him. It’s that nagging feeling that’s keeping him from sleeping alongside his precious baby. Just as he decides to try the meditation trick Evelyn taught him, there’s _stirrings_ within him as he takes in every detail about Tony that he can see with the man lying half way on him and clinging like a koala- there’s a new pet name he’ll have to use. That’s when it hits Steve and he groans internally. He’ll have to talk to Tony when he ages up again…

“ _I_ _don't fall slow like I used to I fall straight down You've stolen my air catcher That kept me safe and sound My parachutes will get me Safely to ground But now the cord's not working And I see you staring me down I won't fall in Love with fallin’ I will try to avoid Those eyes I think you would beat The moon in a pretty contest And the moon just happened to be The very first thing that I missed I was doing fine on my own And there wasn't much I lacked But you've stolen my air catcher And I don't know if I want it back I won't fall in Love with fallin’ I will try to avoid Those eyes 'Cause I'm not sure I want to give you Tools that can destroy My heart And judges don't say What you want to hear So I'll write my fears And I don't believe In talking just to breathe And falling selfishly I won't fall in Love with fallin’ I will try to avoid Those eyes But now I'm here To give you words As tools that can destroy My heart_ ” –Twenty one pilots, “Air Catcher”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Steve sings to Tony in this chapter is "Won't Stop" by One Republic  
> Feel free to let me know if there's something you would like to see or if you have anything you would like me to add as a new project and separate fiction piece.


	12. Catastrophes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn faces the press with unconventional methods and Tony starts falling apart at the seams. Can Daddy Steve and Papa Bruce handle the situation?

“ _Let's hang the jury You sick judgmental fools I'll bury you six feet deep I'm so tired of your rules Fuck you and your opinion How could you be so blind? What goes around Comes back around in time You don't know shit You don't know shit About me You don't know shit, shit, shit Don't know a god damn thing about me Keep looking down on me I am more than you'll ever be Cut me deep but I won't bleed Gonna kick, kick Kick me when I'm down By all means Put me through hell And I'll make you see I'll be your worst enemy Try to kick, kick, kick me when I'm down Kick me when I'm down Of all the sinners You're first in line So go to hell and tell the devil I'm not that far behind Fuck you and your decision 'Cause it's not mine What goes around Comes back around in time…_ ” –Sleeping With Sirens, “Kick Me”

In hindsight, Evelyn realizes she shouldn’t have left while Tony was napping after breakfast. She had been jittery all night and Bruce couldn’t stop her from practically bouncing off the walls. She headed out to the news station to get everything set up before anyone else had even started to exit their REM cycles. Now, as her phone is spastically going off with a call from Steve, she know she’s was wrong to leave before saying goodbye to Tony.

“Hey, Daddy.” Evelyn greets, slipping into the guest dressing room and locking the door.

“Can you hear him?” Steve asks, clearly upset and concerned.

As she listens, she can definitely hear Tony bawling in the background.

“Yes.” She sighs, feeling a pang of guilt resonate through her.

“Care to tell me why you didn’t stay like you promised us?” Steve questions, using his best authoritative tone.

“I couldn’t sit still and I just really wanted to get this all cleaned up,” Evelyn confesses.

“You know, I’m pretty sure you would have smacked me if I pulled this kind of stunt and made Tony cry like this.” Steve comments, not liking her answer one bit.

“I know and Tony gets to punish me when he ages up, but I legitimately need to get ready to go on air,” Evelyn responds as she hears a knock at the door. “Just tell him that he gets to watch Mama on TV and turn it on the Today show.”

“Fine. I have to go get him out from under the bed. He’s beyond wet and I’m sure he’s in pain and laying on his tummy.” Steve says before ending the call. “Tony, baby, please come out from under the bed.”

“Fuck off, Capsicle!” Tony calls back through his gasping and tears.

Tony is decidedly not little but that doesn’t mean anything to Steve since all of his caregivers know that he’s still not allowed to take his sleeper and diaper off himself. Steve sighs and crosses the hall. He knocks on the bedroom door to rouse Bruce.

“Hmm, what’s wrong?” Bruce asks with a huge yawn as the door opens, sighing as he hears Tony crying. “She left early, didn’t she?”

“Nailed it,” Steve confirms, clearly irritated. “I can’t get him out from under the bed without potentially hurting him.”

“What did Evelyn tell you to do?” Bruce questions. “I’m sure you already called her to let her know what she did clearly wasn’t appreciated.”

“Naturally. She told me to coax Tony out by telling him to watch her on the news.” Steve answers, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And did you try it?” Bruce presses, too tired for this.

“No…” Steve admits, running a hand through his already tousled hair.

“Ugh, why can’t you just exhaust all options before waking me up?” Bruce demands, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll go try and fish him out and get him into the shower. Go make breakfast and I’ll come help once he’s all set.”

Steve nods appreciatively and heads towards the kitchen while Bruce crosses into to Tony’s bedroom.

“You’re going to get a rash, bug,” Bruce tells him, sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the bed. “Besides, don’t you wanna see what Mama Evie comes up with on the Today show? She didn’t really tell us what she’s going to say.”

“Leave me alone, Papa!” Tony sniffles. “Mama Evie promised she’d stay until after breakfast…”

“I know, bug, but she was hoping to surprise you this morning by getting everything fixed by the time you got your diaper changed and had breakfast. I told her that you would rather have her here to change and feed you, but she was too worried that if she waited any longer that no one would take you seriously.” Bruce explains, remembering their late night conversation after he got tired of hearing her pace and huff and sigh.

“I don’t care! Meme was right! She not ‘upposed to go when I little.” Tony huffs with a pathetic sounding sniffle.

“Just come out long enough for me to get you out of that soggy diaper and I’ll put you in a pull up so you can do whatever you like.” Bruce bargains with a heavy sigh, ignoring his boy’s declaration.

“P’omiss?” Tony warily questions.

“Promise. I won’t make you eat, but I’ll bring you whatever you want- within reason- if ask nicely.” Bruce assures him. “Just don’t tell Mama or she’ll be punishing me.”

After a moment, Tony wiggles himself out from under the bed with Cap Amee in one hand and his pacifier in the other. He crawls over to Bruce and curls up in his lap, a fresh stream of tears pouring down his face.

“Mama!” Tony sobs, shaking almost violently in his grief.

“I know, baby, I know.” Bruce soothes, managing to get to his feet with Tony in his arms before laying the smaller man on the gigantic bed. “Let’s change your pants.”

Bruce sets to work on changing Tony, ignoring the changing pad this time. He sighs as he sees the red, irritated skin all over Tony’s privates and bum signaling a fairly nasty diaper rash. Before taping a fresh diaper on his little, Bruce slathers on a more than generous amount of baby lotion and desitin ( a type of rash cream). He was prepared to put Tony in a pull-up as he originally said he would, but it’s getting more obvious that Tony’s mind has plans to only age back down, possibly to under a year old. Once the diaper is on, Bruce discards the sleeper into the laundry chute and pulls Tony onto his hip, making sure to keep Cap Amee and the soother with them as he walks out to the kitchen.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Steve coos at the sniffling little in Bruce’s arms.

“Dada!” Tony whines with an utterly pathetic pout.

“Come here, baby boy,” Steve says in a soft voice as he takes baby Tony from Bruce.

“Captain Rogers, Madam’s appearance is about to be made on the Today show.” JARVIS notifies him. “Shall I project it for your viewing?”

“Yes, JARVIS,” Steve responds, sitting down on a stool at the island with Tony in his lap sucking on his soother.

Within a minute, a projection of the program appears before Steve, hovering above the island’s countertop. As it starts streaming, they see Evelyn walk into the camera. She’s wearing a crimson and gold, knee-length dress with gold flats- obviously promoting Tony via Iron Man’s colors. Evelyn makes a show of sitting between the two news anchors, one male, and the other female, and makes herself comfortable.

“Welcome back to the Today show. With us here in the studio is the clinical psychologist to the Avengers and many honorable organizations. Please welcome Evelyn Viviana Parish-Jarvis.” Stacy, the female news anchor in a horrid yellow and black floral print dress, announces.

“Ms. Parish-Jarvis-”

“For the love of the universe, just call me Evelyn.” Said clinical psychologist interjects, clearly annoyed. “We all know why I’m here. You all want to know if the pictures of Tony Stark and Clint Barton are real and whether they indicate serious issues or extremely personal kinks.”

“That’s exactly right, Evelyn.” Chris, the male news anchor in the _booooring_ black suit and tie, gripes, trying to remain professional.

“What do you honestly think?” Evelyn challenges them.

“It could be anything, really.” Stacy answers, clearly caught off guard.

“You are such a sheep!” Evelyn groans, burying her face in her hands. “You don’t even try to make a conclusion for yourself. I dare you to say you aren’t anything like the Nazis under Hitler’s regime prior to World War II. I. Dare. You.”

“Of course we aren’t!” Chris bellows, outraged at the comparison.

“Then you’re an idiot,” Evelyn tells him with a pointed stare. “The person who doctored those pictures is trying to get you all to discredit the Avengers to leave us all vulnerable to whatever he has in store, not unlike how Adolf Hitler convinced his fellow Germans that the Jewish people were solely responsible for the country’s hardships. And here you all are falling for a few fake scandalous photos of two of the men who keep your asses alive!”

“How do you know they’re fake?” Chris presses, trying not to completely lose it.

“Because I spend nearly all my time there with those very people. If you want a real scandal, how about the continuing war between Hydra- a group that originates in Nazi Germany and is known for illegal human experimentation and weapon production- and Shield. This conflict has now claimed over two dozen lives just from experimenting on random human test subjects- on both sides.” Evelyn diverts, clearly bubbling with a new energy.

“How do you know all this?” Chris interrogates, overly skeptical.

“Because I was the successful test subject of Shield in response to my mother’s successful completion of Hydra’s experimentation,” Evelyn answers plainly. “How the hell else do I have red irises when my eyes can’t handle contacts?”

“She’s got you there, Chris.” Stacy points out, clearly trying to maintain a professional façade. “Evelyn, what can you tell us about the experimentation on both sides? What exactly were they trying to gain from the experimenting you say they did?”

“That I _say_ they did?” Evelyn questions, clearly amused and annoyed with the woman. “Look at all the scars on my arms, wrists and legs. Do those look like they could’ve been self-inflicted?”

“I don’t think so, but that’s not my field of expertise,” Stacy responds like a deer in headlights.

“They aren’t and partly because I have an extremely low pain tolerance,” Evelyn assures her. “Shield kidnapped me on the way to the airport to participate in a Habitats for Humanity project outside of the country with a close friend and my uncle. I had no say in anything. They drugged me and then they injected me with a red fluid. You know what, let’s just play the recording of Nick Fury’s confession of the entire ordeal.”

Steve face-palms as he listens to the recording playing from her phone on air though JARVIS clearly cut out all audio that mentioned anything other than what was done to Evelyn and why. He’s definitely going to have to make sure that Fury doesn’t try to kill her- or rather, that they don’t kill each other…

{Author’s note: the following section you have already read, but I am reiterating in the edited version Evelyn is sharing with the news and, therefore, the public}

_“We received information from a double agent working for SHIELD and Hydra that the latter was developing its own super soldier serum. In response, SHIELD started developing its own secret weapon that would hopefully unlock the full capacity and capabilities of the human brain that have only been speculated before. Unfortunately, the majority of test subjects either didn’t take to the injections or died from an overload created in the brain.” Fury starts to explain, mostly addressing Evelyn. “We needed someone with a complex and intelligent mind that also had exceptional medical records. The research team had been profiling for nearly a year before they dared suggest Evelyn Viviana Parish-Jarvis. Our source on Hydra’s developments was rather cryptic in his reasoning when he insisted that Parish be used as the next test subject. We assumed his reasoning to be her pristine medical record and her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology.”_

_“Who’s your source?” Steve questions, being mindful of his volume._

_“A Scotsman by the name of Peter Sutherland.” Fury answers, matching Steve’s quiet voice._

_“He’s the Hydra agent who brought me all the way to the Tower from the base in Norway,” Amelia answers with a sigh._

_“So you’re the reason he had a bloody nose and a migraine.” Fury connects, unamused._

_“Move on, Fury.” Evelyn hisses, not wanting this to drag on any longer._

_“We gave Evelyn several injections of the serum we created that is currently unnamed. It’s deep red in color and typically injected into the brain stem, heart, and forearms. The initial injections are made in the forearms. The first round of tests are administered once the serum has had a few hours to mingle in the blood stream.  If all seems to be fine, the next set of injections is done to the heart. The same tests are administered once again and if progress is seen, the injections are directed to the brain stem. Once again the tests are run and if all come out with maximal positive results, we move on to the training phase.” Fury elaborates with a huff._

_“Why did you abduct her?” Bruce questions in his pressing but quiet voice._

_“We knew Evelyn would have no desire to participate in the experiment, but according to Agent Sutherland with the agreement of everyone one on the project, she was the key to success and would allow us to have a ready aid for fighting off any potential progress on Hydra’s attempt of a super soldier serum.” Fury answers smoothly, though he’s clearly growing more uncomfortable by the minute._

_..._

_“Go ahead, Nick. Explain to them why I’ve become more aggressive.” Evelyn prompts._

_“That was one of the side effects of a hormone used in the serum.” Fury admits, not telling the full truth until Amelia places her hand in a perfect sleeper hold but abstains from using the necessary pressure. “The tests also involve a lot of harm coming to the subject to encourage them to dig deep until they come across the new found abilities, which include telekinesis, telepathy, strength, and healing. Yes, we did model our healing factor after the one possessed by the mercenary Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool. However, our serum will not allow her to come back from beheading. Once a limb is gone, it’s gone. The healing factor will not work without the prompts from her brain.”_

“Is all of this true?” Chris questions, still a bit skeptical.

“Would you like me to prove it?” Evelyn questions with an unamused look in his direction.

“Well, I am more likely to believe it when I see it.”

“Obviously.” Evelyn scoffs, clearly referring to his blind conviction that the age play photos are real. “Let’s see… Okay, take that paper in front of you and give me a paper cut.”

Chris stares at her for a moment before he shakes his head and does as told. She cringes as he gives her a paper cut, a rather long one right on her wrist. Almost as soon as it opened, it was already closing before their eyes.

“Still hurts like hell but it’s nothing compared to what Shield did to get it working.” Evelyn comments. “And to answer your question, they strapped me to a padded metal table and cut me until the healing factor finally started working- a number of them even went down to the bone.”

“I didn’t ask anything…” Chris responds, utterly confused.

“Not aloud anyway. Telepathy is basically mind reading and if I really wanted to, I could plant thoughts in your head or trigger a certain memory, though that’s much more draining.” Evelyn replies as Stacy starts floating three feet above her seat.

Stacy screeches as she realizes she’s unwillingly floating as if gravity decided to take a vacation.

“And that is what we call telekinesis.” Evelyn chuckles, setting the woman back down in her seat.

“To all of you at home, I was not wearing a wire and none of this was planned,” Stacy informs, still shaken.

“In case you couldn’t tell by her shriek of terror,” Evelyn adds, propping her chin up with one hand as her elbow rests on the desk in a daydreaming fashion, with the spacey look to match.

Chris simply glares at her before announcing they’ll be back after a short commercial break.

“JARVIS, turn it off.” Steve sighs, feeling relief flood through him as the projection disappears and Bruce brings over the fried eggs, bacon, and toast he had started earlier.

Tony starts fussing as soon as he sees the food, hungry but not in the mood for the greasy animal products in front of him. He has sunk just under a year old in his mind’s attempt to escape the hurt from the perceived abandonment by Evelyn. Steve and Bruce simply fix him a plate and put a bib on him. The real fit starts when Steve takes the soother from Tony’s mouth and attempts to feed him a bite of eggs, causing Tony to start crying.

“Uh uh!” Tony sobs, turning his face away from the two men trying to feed him.

“Captain, Doctor, and Young Sir, Madam is waiting for your acceptance of her video call. Shall I patch her through?” JARVIS questions.

“Please do. I think we need her help to figure out what to do about Tony’s refusal to eat.” Steve responds, still confused by the fact that even Bruce couldn’t get Tony to take a bite.

“Oh, baby, what’s the matter?” Evelyn coos, seeing her Tony cry.

“He won’t eat. He started crying as soon as I took his pacifier out and tried to feed him.” Steve explains. “Bruce even tried feeding him and he didn’t want anything to do with it.”

“Well, I’m on my way back and I’ve definitely succeeded in making those idiots forget about the photos that Sutherland sent out,” Evelyn tells them. “As you can see, the driver’s already taking me back and the partition’s up so he can’t hear anything because he’s also listening to some horrible country-rap crossover station.”

“How long until you get here?” Bruce questions.

“About ten minutes.” Evelyn answers.

“We’ll see you then. I’ll try to get him calmed down.” Steve says.

“Alright, thank you,” Evelyn replies. “Bye-bye, baby! Mama will be home soon!”

With that, the video call ends and Steve offers baby Tony the soother sitting on the counter. The little gratefully accepts it and starts sucking, starting to shiver a bit.

“I’m gonna go get him dressed.” Steve alerts, removing the bib and holding Tony on his hip. “He’s starting to get cold in just his diaper.”

“Check his temperature, though. I think he’s developing a fever.” Bruce amends.

“Now that you mention it, he does feel warmer than usual. He might have the flu since he’s been so run down.” Steve agrees.

He walks out of the kitchen and takes Tony back to the nursery. He puts Tony in a brown and navy blue bodysuit (some people call it a onesie) that has an owl with glasses and a bow tie and is perched on an open book. They join Bruce in the living room where they settle in to watch Wreck-It Ralph with Tony swaddled in a huge microfiber blanket. Before they’ve even made it thirty minutes into the movie, Tony has fallen into a fitful bout of sleeping, shivering and sweating all the while. Steve and Bruce exchange a worried look as both pray to every higher force that Evelyn will get back soon since neither knows quite what to do with a sick and little Tony.

“… _It's always something Before the late night Around the corner There's always something waiting for you Can't hold the hands back Can't make the sun rise It's always something You know it's always something On your way back home again A good Samaritan You see a man stuck in the rain Stranded with no friends And from the goodness of your heart You save him from the flood A couple miles down the road He's covered in your blood It's always something Before the late night Around the corner There's always something waiting for you Can't hold the hands back Can't make the sun rise It's always something You know it's always something Moving around, you never see it coming Burned by the life you thought that you were running Blinded again, you're floating like a feather Why can't you see you can't control the weather? Sometimes I caught myself looking in the mirror With my eyeballs out and I'm looking at the fear In the bottom of the drain, saw it growing like a plant But it never works out like the way I wrote it in my hands…_ ” –Cage the Elephant, “Always Something”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm starting work here soon which means my updates may take a few days... Training starts in like two days and I'm currently prepping- my manager is not thrilled about my nose stud apparently so I've got some work to do on that and getting the things I need for my uniform. I'll try to keep updating regularly, but I make no promises.
> 
> Let me know what you guys/gals/people think of the developments and let me know if there's anything you'd really like to see, especially before- SPOILER ALERT- I start phasing out Tony's age play therapy.
> 
> Author out!  
> -Lizzy Jean


	13. Hurricane Fury: The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury confronts Evelyn and Phil offers her a position as an agent on Shield's behalf. Steve confesses that he's fucked up and Evelyn calls in a favor to track down Peter Sutherland.

“ _Night falls, with gravity. The earth turns, from sanity Taking my only friend I know, He leaves a lie, his name is "Hope". I'm never what I like I'm double-sided. And I just can't hide I kinda like it When I make you cry Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside. The horrors of the night melt away Under the warm glow of survival of the day Then we move on, My shadow grows taller along with my fears And my friends shrink smaller as night grows near When the sun is climbing window sills And the silver lining rides the hills I will be saved for one whole day Until the sun make the hills it's grave I'm never what I like I'm double-sided. And I just can't hide I kinda like it When I make you cry Cause I'm twisted up, I'm twisted up, inside… I'm semi-automatic, My prayer is schizophrenic But I'll live on, yeah I'll live on, yeah I'll live on…_ ” –Twenty one pilots, “Semi-Automatic”

As Evelyn comes out of her meditative state, counting the minutes, she realizes that it’s been the ten minutes it would’ve have taken to get back to the Tower and they still haven’t arrived. As she rolls the partition down by pressing the button, she takes a closer look at the chauffer. She frowns and glares into the rearview mirror with a deep sigh of frustration. Agent Anderson is the one driving the car, which means Shield has once again commandeered her.

“Dammit, Anderson!” Evelyn snaps, making the man jump and slam on the brakes as the light turns red. “What the fuck are you doing driving me to Shield?!”

“My job, Parish.” Anderson responds, having recovered from the surprise.

“I don’t give a damn what your job is! I have people to take care of you dumbasses are constantly inhibiting my ability to do my job!” Evelyn hisses, sliding to the edge of her seat and putting her face right up next to his. “Take me home to the Tower, now, Anderson.”

“Can’t do it, Parish. The Director is pissed and-”

“His name is Fury for fuck’s sake! Of course he’s pissed!” Evelyn points out, practically screaming as she sits back on the seat. “Now take me home before you find out why the others call me Demon Fairy!”

“No can do.” Anderson replies, continuing to drive towards the triskelion.

Before Evelyn can do anything more, Agent Anderson rolls up the privacy barrier and locks it in place. Evelyn presses the button for the privacy barrier several times before giving up. She pulls out her phone and hits the video chat button on Steve’s contact.

“Madam, I’m afraid the Captain is unavailable at this time. Sir has been diagnosed with the flu so the Captain is with Doctor Banner on the communal floor. They have decided to pool the resources of the team, minus Agent Romanov who is will Director Fury at Shield.” JARVIS answers.

“Fantastic. I need to inform them that I’ve been taken to Shield by Anderson because once again, Hurricane Fury is rampaging.” Evelyn tells the AI. “Apparently he’s not too happy with the way things have gone.”

“I shall inform them of your whereabouts.” JARVIS offers.

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Evelyn responds, hitting the end button as they pull up to headquarters in the triskelion.

“Come on, Parish.” Anderson pushes, opening the rear door.

“Calm yourself, Anderson. He’s not going to be any less pissy whether I take my sweet time or not.” Evelyn gripes, sliding out of the car with her messenger bag.

She hasn’t changed back into her casual clothes yet since she was in a rush to get back to the Tower. As she walks through the agency, all eyes on her and there’s plenty of whispers from all of the agents in the building as she passes. Not many knew about the red serum experiment that she survived, but even more so none knew about the therapy methods of her charges so naturally, and infuriatingly, that was all they were focused on. They enter the elevator while Evelyn tries to prepare herself for whatever fresh hell is waiting for her on the other side of the elevator doors. Surprisingly enough, Fury is rather docile compared to what she expected. Perhaps he is actually somewhat afraid of her… In addition to her, there’s also Natasha and Phil in the office as Anderson leaves. How Agent Anderson gets to keep his job when he’s such a wimp is beyond Evelyn’s comprehension.

“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing giving live demonstrations of your abilities, Parish?” Fury demands, ignoring the looks he’s receiving from Natasha and Phil. “Now the entire god damned world knows what we’ve been working on and who to go after to get the information!”

“Shit, Phil, I am so so so sorry that you got dragged away for this.” Evelyn apologizes, knowing Clint hasn’t gotten much better since she tucked him in the other day.

“It’s fine, Evelyn. It just means we’re even now.” Phil responds, getting a dirty look from Fury.

“That may be true, but Fury’s got a lot to answer for.” Evelyn comments, glaring at the director.

“I’ve got a lot to answer for?!” Fury roars, practically launching himself out from behind his desk. “How about you jeopardizing the safety of everyone in this country, but especially Agent Sutherland and the team that made you what you are?!”

“You listen to me, Fury.” Evelyn snaps in her ominously level yet angered way as he starts to levitate in front of her. “Your precious Sutherland is the reason that we’re in the fucking mess! He escaped Avengers Tower with outside help that JARVIS hasn’t been able to source yet, but we do know that it was from Hydra because you wouldn’t want lose Tony as an asset. The person who leaked those fucking pictures was trying to ruin Tony. Though I know you didn’t aid in that particular venture knowingly, you, whether intended or not, helped the bastard escape!”

“Put me down, Parish! That’s an order!” Fury demands, though it sounds rather weak in his panic.

“I don’t work for you, but it is draining my stamina.” Evelyn responds, dropping him face-first on the floor.

“I know Sutherland is responsible, though I didn’t know he was trying to use me as his scape-goat.” Fury informs her, getting to his feet with a vicious glare towards her. “Agent Romanov and your mother had cornered Sutherland after Amelia tricked him into meeting her at a hotel. Unfortunately, he got smart and realized she wasn’t there to fuck his brains out but capture him. The bastard fled. He’s been discharged from Shield and is currently on the top of our most wanted list.”

“Well, who do you have on it?” Evelyn presses.

“Currently, every available agent. After some questioning and discussion, your mother has been added to the agency to use as another agent at our disposal. We did some testing on her to find out what Hydra did to her while she was captured and discovered that she has a bit of an upgraded version of the super soldier serum, which means she can take even more hits and can regenerate limbs in addition to healing wounds.” Phil answers. “We figured she could be fairly useful if a full out battle ensues. Her code name is Bluebell. If you agree to join us, we already have everything set up for you. Your code name is designated as Seraphim and we even have a set of flashy crimson wings modeled after the Falcon wings used in military search and rescue missions. They happen to also set things on fire if you should find the need to use that feature.”

“Seraphim? Really?” Evelyn questions. “You want an agnostic to parade around under a code name that is a biblical reference to the angels who were closest to God?”

“It’s a person with wings and fire so it seems to suit you just fine since you seem to like making people fly.” Fury points out, leaning against his desk and crossing his arms. “Are you in or not?”

“Oh, I’m in, but not until Tony’s recovered.” Evelyn assures him.

“What do you mean recovered?” Fury presses.

“He has the flu, which is why I am none too happy to be here instead of at home.” Evelyn responds. “No one’s been able to get him to eat, or even drink, anything from what I can tell. Bruce and Steve are waiting for me to get home because I’m the only one who’s ever taken care of him when he’s sick.”

“Then get your ass out of my office and back to the damn tower!” Fury commands. “Agents Coulson and Romanov will bring your gear back to the tower and teach you how to use it. Go get in the helicopter, I’m having Agent Monroe fly you back.”

“It’s about time you took my job seriously.” Evelyn states, walking back to the elevator as Fury gets on his phone to contact her ride home.

Evelyn pulls her phone out while she waits for the elevator to get up to the roof where the helicopter pad is. She tries once more to video chat with Steve. This time JARVIS actually patches her through and she can see that he’s on the communal floor in the living room.

“Steve, where’s Tony?” She asks, not actually sure she wants to know based off of the look on his face.

“He’s hiding from us.” Steve cautiously answers. “All I know is that he’s somewhere on the communal floor.”

“What happened?” Evelyn demands, her face contorting in a combination of anger and worry.

“I may have been a bit harsh after hours of trying everything to get something in his stomach.” Steve confesses with a heavy sigh.

“I swear, I’m going to beat you with your own shield when I get back.” Evelyn threatens. “Why didn’t you let Bruce take over if you were losing your patience?”

“Honestly, Bruce isn’t even here. He went out to get a medication and food that Tony can eat.” Steve explains. “He messaged me a while ago saying he was bombarded with press asking him if he’s happier now that his girlfriend is a mutant like him. I will be very impressed if he hasn’t let the Hulk out by the time he gets back to the tower.”

“Fuck. Well, Fury has finally come to his senses and realizes that my job is important so he’s having Agent Monroe give me a lift back to the tower in the Helicopter. I’m assuming the quinjet is otherwise engaged now that Sutherland’s at the top of Shield’s shit list.”

“We really need you back here, Ev. Clint’s starting to put up a fuss and Thor’s gone back to Asgard to get Loki- apparently Odin doesn’t like having Loki there without Thor to watch him.” Steve tells her. “He’s supposed to be back by the end of the weekend and he’s bringing Loki, which I warned him was probably not a good idea but he ignored me. Clint’s hiding right now and I swear I know they both need changed at this point. I think Clint’s hiding in vents.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible, but I’m gonna let you go for now because I have one more call to make.” Evelyn sighs.

“Okay, I’ll keep looking here.” Steve responds before she ends the video call.

She pulls up one of her oldest contacts and calls. It’s been years, but he still technically owes her.

“You really are a creature of myth!” A familiar voice greets.

“They didn’t call me a fairy for nothing.” Evelyn agrees. “So where are you these days?”

“I’m in New York currently. Why?”

“Well, ya still owe me and I’m about to cash in that favor.” Evelyn answers as the elevator doors open to the rooftop where Agent Monroe is already waiting for her.

“What’s the favor?” He asks, suspicion clear in his voice. “Please tell me it has something to do with domination, brownie batter, and gratuitous love making.”

“It might if you work with me.” Evelyn qualifies.

“Then what are you wanting, fairy girl?”

“I want you to help me hunt down a man capable of just about anything who is working for Hydra.” Evelyn explains. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

“As long as the gratuitous sex happens, it sounds like heaven. I haven’t had a job- blow or otherwise- in a loooong time.” He agrees, sounding much more chipper.

“Come to the Avengers Tower as soon as you can. JARVIS will let you in.” Evelyn instructs, lowering her voice to a more sultry, seductive tone. “If you aren’t under me by midnight, then this kitten is gonna hunt you down, Wade Wilson.”

With that, she ends the call. He loves the tease and he really can’t resist her offer since it involves two of the things he enjoys the most- killing horrible people and getting laid. The only question is how he’ll react to her new abilities…

“ _Hubcaps and ashtrays I was born, but I wasn't raised The big wheel, the black space Tried my best, but wasn't praised Hell is so close to heaven Hell is so close to heaven Hold on don't look back You know we're better, we're better than that Lost and thrown away You know we're better, we're better than that We are the strays (whoah) We are the strays Train tracks to the stage Play that role The one you made Long nights and the worst days Lived it all, but I didn't break… My whole life they said I'd be nothing Well I'm something And I would rather be the stray Than be nothing to no one at all Hubcaps and ashtrays I was born, but wasn't raised Hold on don't look back You know we're better, we're better than that Lost and thrown away You know we're better, we're better than that Cause we are the strays We are the strays_ ” –Sleeping With Sirens, “The Strays”


	14. When Evelyn's Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see what happened leading up to Evelyn's discovery that both littles are missing. Poor Steve is overthinking everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I have to work tomorrow I posted two today and I'm working on a third. Let me know what you guys think of Wade being an old flame of Evelyn's and really anything you guys come up with.  
> Author out!  
> -Lizzy Jean

“ _Do you know where your heart is? Do you think you can find it? Or did you trade it for something Somewhere better just to have it? Do you know where your love is? Do you think that you lost it? You felt it so strong, but Nothing's turned out how you wanted Well, bless my soul You're a lonely soul Cause you won't let go Of anything you hold Well, all I need Is the air I breathe And a place to rest My head Do you know what your fate is? And are you trying to shake it? You're doing your best and your best look You're praying that you make it… Do you think you can find it? ... Better than you had it… I said all I need Is the air I breathe And a place to rest My head Do you know where the end is? Do you think you can see it? Well, until you get there Go on, go ahead and scream it Just say it_ ” –One Republic, “Say (All I Need)”

Tony has always hated being sick and, quite literally, he was a baby about the whole ordeal. Whenever he got sick, it was like he slipped into a severe depression and became utterly useless. Developing symptoms of the flu this morning is no exception to his ‘if I’m sick, I’m sad and useless’ rule. He’s never been happy about his reaction to being sick because he feels useless and like a spoiled rich brat- both of which he resents with a burning passion. However, Evelyn spent years convincing him that he wasn’t useless but helpless, which was completely different- at least, the way she described it. She said that helpless was just a natural reaction to being sick since the body was at war and anything to do with normalcy was practically thrown out the window to compensate for prioritizing getting rid of the virus as the sole task. Once they started the age play therapy, she said that he was supposed to helpless because he aged down so young so everything was already done for him anyway.

But today is not the same. Evelyn is gone and Tony feels like shit. He’s overheating but somehow still too cold. His nose is stuffed up, he has a headache and his eyes are on fire. He has mucus lining his throat that tastes like Dead Sea water and his stomach is churning so much that even the thought of sucking on his pacifier makes him want to hurl. Quite frankly, any movement is enough to make him vomit.

He was relieved when he fell asleep during Wreck-It Ralph, thinking a bit more sleep might put him in better shape so he could finally at least have his bottle, even if it was only full of water. However, his body still isn’t on the same level as his mind. As he wakes up, he sees Steve smiling softly at him and feels the seemingly massive hand of the super soldier gently petting his matted and sweaty brown locks. Tony whimpers and curls up towards Steve.

“Steve, Amelia, Phil, and Natasha are gone.” Bruce says softly, not realizing Tony’s awake since he just came back from the communal floor. “Phil messaged me just after they left. Amelia and Natasha were trying to capture Sutherland, but it didn’t work out. Now, Fury’s called them in and Thor’s leaving soon for Asgard. They want us to go down to the communal floor to help watch Clint since he’s still in his headspace.”

“I think we can manage that. Should we bring some of Tony’s stuff down?” Steve asks.

“No, Evie and I already have a room locked off that’s well stocked for times like this. It isn’t the first time Tony’s been in his headspace while he’s sick, though it’s the first time that Evelyn hasn’t been here to work her magic.” Bruce answers. “Is he awake yet? I don’t want us to relocate him unless he’s up so he’s not confused.”

Tony whines and hears Bruce chuckle. Tony will occasionally whimper in his sleep but if he’s whining, Papa knows he’s awake.

“Let’s get down there so Thor can get going.” Bruce encourages, hovering to the side while Steve gets up with Tony swaddled in his arms.

Tony curls up into a ball and clenches his eyes shut as Steve carries him to the elevator. The movement makes his stomach nearly convulse as he whimpers. The actual elevator ride down to the communal floor is even worse because he can feel his stomach rise up and quickly drop as the elevator stops. He feels a flood of relief as Steve steps out of the elevator and quickly feels that relief dissipates as he hears Clint crying loudly nearby. His headache starts throbbing double time in response which in turn makes him cry.

“I’m gonna go get Tony’s play seat and some toys so we can get these two set up in the living room,” Bruce tells Steve as he takes Clint from Thor.

“Sounds good. We do need to get something in Tony, though.” Steve responds before Bruce walks off.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Bruce calls as he walks down the hall to the bedrooms.

“My sincerest apologies for leaving at such a trying time.” Thor apologizes, looking more sincere than Steve has ever seen anyone.

“It’s okay. Tony’s just extra fussy since he’s sick.”

“Captain, Madam is trying to reach you with a video call. Would you like to accept or decline?” JARVIS announces.

“Decline for now JARVIS. We need to figure out what’s wrong with Tony before I talk to her.” Steve answers, rocking said ill little in his arms.

“He has the flu, Captain. I recognize the readings from the last time Sir had contracted it.” JARVIS answers. “Would you still like to decline?”

“Yes, JARVIS. Just let her know the circumstances.” Steve responds.

“Certainly, Captain.” JARVIS replies.

“I shall take my leave now so that I may return sooner. It seems Father is not pleased that I have left Loki there during my return to Midgard. Apparently if I want to continue staying on Midgard I must bring my brother with me.” Thor announces.

“Wait, Thor, I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Loki here. I know Phil and most of the others will be just fine, but Tony and Clint- heck, Evelyn- won’t be okay with this. If I’m being honest, Evelyn truly does adore you, but she there’s still a deep-seeded hurt and anger towards Loki after all that he did, whether he was under someone else’s influence or not.” Steve warns, attempting to slip Tony’s pacifier in his mouth to calm him down but getting it spit back into his hand each time.

“Nonsense. Lady Evelyn is very understanding and knows that Loki can do no harm now that he has been given his wish.” Thor disagrees as he steps into the elevator.

“Thor, at least wait to actually bring him here until you talk to Evelyn!” Steve urges as the elevator doors close. “Or risk having her repeatedly attempt to murder a god. That works too, I guess…”

“Did Thor leave already?” Bruce questions, dragging a rolling plastic tub behind him with a much calmer Clint on his hip, sucking his thumb.

“Yeah and he’s bringing Loki back with him, even though I warned him it’s a bad idea.” Steve sighs as he pushes the coffee table to the far side of the room with his free hand. “I can’t even get Tony to take his pacifier now. JARVIS says he has the flu and Evelyn called, but I didn’t accept it.”

“Speaking of Madam, Captain, she requested that I inform you that Shield has taken her to Headquarters since the Director is not pleased with Madam’s method of handling the media,” JARVIS informs them.

“Fantastic,” Steve mutters as he sets Tony in the little red padded and molded seat designed to support him in a sitting position.

“Do you think you can handle these two if I run to the store to get some medication for Tony and try to find something his stomach won’t complain about?” Bruce questions, setting Clint down on a blanket he spreads on the ground and distracting Tony with one of his favorite teething toys.

“They seem fine now, so it’s probably the best time if we’re going to try anything before Evelyn gets back.” Steve answers. “Go ahead and go. We should be fine.”

Not long after that, Bruce does take off, promising to call and update his fellow parental figure if he got held up longer than the hour he planned to be gone. Neither of them ever remember to just use the personal shopper and delivery service that Tony constantly pushes them to use. They’re both a bit old-fashioned in that respect. For the first half hour, everything seems to go fine and Steve even manages to get Tony to nurse half of a bottle of water. By the time that Bruce messages the only caregiver left in the tower, things have slowly started going downhill.

“When Daddy coming home?” Clint whines for the tenth time.

“Clint, buddy, I don’t know. I really don’t. He said he would call when he’s on his way back.” Steve answers trying to get Tony to drink a just a fourth of the water left in his bottle.

However, Tony has different plans since his stomach isn’t feeling very content with the water that’s still sloshing around in his stomach and hasn’t gone through him yet. He fidgets and pushes Steve away, whining and starting to cry all the while.

“But Daddy said he wasn’t gonna hafta leave!” Clint protests, nearing a tantrum.

“I’m sorry, buddy, but I can’t do anything about that. Mr. Fury called him in and he couldn’t say no.” Steve responds, his patience wearing thinner by the minute as his phone buzzes. “Tony, baby, just a couple more sips and I’ll leave you alone until after we change your diaper, okay?”

Tony just cries, feebly pushing his Daddy away. Steve doesn’t push back because he knows that Tony’s having a hard enough time breathing outside of crying so he’s definitely not drinking anymore from his bottle anytime soon.

“But Uncle Steve, can’t you call Daddy and tell him he has to come home?” Clint presses, getting more bratty and whiney by the second.

“No, Clint. I can’t do that. Daddy is at work and you would have to be very, very sick or something for it to be okay to take Daddy away from work.” Steve answers, attempting to barricade his frustration in the back of his mind as he offers Tony a soother and looks at his phone.

“Is that Daddy?!” Clint presses, crawling over to Steve.

“No, buddy, it’s Uncle Bruce,” Steve tells him, reading through the message as Tony takes the soother. “He’s gonna be gone for another hour or so before he gets back with the groceries and medicine for Tony.”

“Is Tony sick, Uncle Steve?” Clint asks, already starting to scheme.

“Yes, poor baby has the flu.” Steve explains, rubbing Tony’s back as the little rests his head on his Daddy’s thigh. “Now, I need you to sit here with Tony while I go fill up your sippy cup and refill his bottle.”

“Okay.” Clint agrees, smiling in what he hopes is an innocent manner.

Steve gets up, taking Tony’s bottle and Clint’s sippy cup with him, and heads to the kitchen. He can still hear them perfectly fine, but seeing them is a little more difficult with one of the couches blocking his view of the two. Once Clint is sure Steve is far enough away and probably has his back turned, he yanks the Baymax soother right out of Tony’s mouth and sticks it in his own. If being very, very sick will get his Daddy home, then he’ll just have to make himself sick and what better way than to get the flu from the baby? Unfortunately for Clint, Tony starts bawling, partly from wanting his pacifier back and partly because the older little yanked it out so hard that it hurt his teeth. Steve comes dashing in just as the pacifier hits the floor, but the super soldier is smart. The pacifier would already be on the floor if Tony had spit it out and most certainly wouldn’t be positioned the way it is with the guard towards his baby and the latex nipple towards Clint.

“Clint, why did you do that?” Steve snaps, having lost his last shred of patience as he picks Tony up.

“I didn’t do anything, Uncle Steve!” Clint argues, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t lie to me, Clint.” Steve warns, rubbing Tony’s back. “I know you took his soother.”

“No, I didn’t!” Clint shouts.

“No shouting, mister.” Steve scolds, knowing Tony’s head must be about to explode from the all the noise on top of being stuffed and crying a lot. “Be honest with me and take your time out like a big boy and maybe I’ll make sure Daddy doesn’t punish you when he gets back.”

“I am being honest.” Clint huffs.

“No, you’re not. Now, be honest and tell me why.” Steve pushes, searching the pouch in the toy bin for another pacifier.

There’s only silence, Clint refusing to speak as Steve finally finds a pacifier with the Avengers insignia and slips it into Tony’s mouth.

“Clint, please just tell me.” Steve pleads, completely exhausted from all the pushing and worrying he’s done.

“I wanted Daddy home so I thought that if I sick like the baby then Daddy come home…” Clint says in a quiet voice.

“Clint, while I appreciate that you told me, you’re still in trouble. You can’t just take things from Baby Tony and what’s more, you can’t get yourself sick just to make Daddy come home. Those are very mean things to do. You only made things worse when you lied about what you’re doing.” Steve responds, feeling horrible. “I want you to go sit in that corner in time out for an hour.”

“But, Uncle Steve! Daddy only makes me go for fifteen minutes!” Clint whines.

“First off, I am in charge, your Daddy said so. Secondly, all the things you’ve done so far add up to an hour in my book because you even started yelling, which hurt Baby Tony just as much as when you yanked his soother out of his mouth. It hurt his teeth and your shouting hurt his head.” Steve clarifies, pulling Clint to his feet. “Now, if you keep up your whining, I’m going to make it an hour and fifteen minutes.”

“You’re just a big bully, Uncle Steve! You make me and Tony do stuffs that we don’t like just because you say so!” Clint shouts, stomping his foot.

“CLINT BARTON, YOU MARCH TO THAT CORNER THIS INSTANT! YOU DO NOT BACK-TALK TO ANYONE WHO TAKES CARE OF YOU!” Steve bellows in his best captain’s voice.

“NO! I WANT DADDY!” Clint shouts back, running out of Steve’s sight and crawling into the vent in his and his Daddy’s room.

“Why…” Steve bemoans tilting his head back as Tony starts bawling while his clean soother hits the floor a foot away from the one that Clint took. “Tony, stop crying. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Just as Steve warns the little guy, Tony’s stomach heaves and he hurls all over himself and Steve. What’s worse is that it’s nothing but water and stomach acid that partly came out of his nose with the sheer force of the action.

“Tony!” Steve shouts, more in surprise than anger, not that Baby Tony can tell the difference. “That’s why you need to stop crying! You literally did that just because you wouldn’t listen!”

Tony escalates to wailing as Steve takes them into the nursery on the communal floor, which is at the far end of the hall. Steve cleans them both up in the bathroom and puts Tony in a clean, pastel blue bodysuit. He takes Tony back to the living room and sets him in his seat. The super soldier heads back to the kitchen with the soothers to clean them and finish the task that he went in there to do in the first place. By the time he returns, Baby Tony is nowhere to be found.

“Captain Rogers, Madam is would like to video chat, will you accept or decline this time?” JARVIS alerts him.

“Great. I guess I’ll accept it.” Steve sighs as a camera comes down from the ceiling to record him while another projects Evelyn in front of him.

“Steve, where’s Tony?” She asks, not actually sure she wants to know based off of the look on his face.

“He’s hiding from us.” Steve cautiously answers. “All I know is that he’s somewhere on the communal floor.”

“What happened?” Evelyn demands, her face contorting in a combination of anger and worry.

“I may have been a bit harsh after hours of trying everything to get something in his stomach,” Steve confesses with a heavy sigh.

“I swear, I’m going to beat you with your own shield when I get back.” Evelyn threatens. “Why didn’t you let Bruce take over if you were losing your patience?”

“Honestly, Bruce isn’t even here. He went out to get a medication and food that Tony can eat.” Steve explains. “He messaged me a while ago saying he was bombarded with press asking him if he’s happier now that his girlfriend is a mutant like him. I will be very impressed if he hasn’t let the Hulk out by the time he gets back to the tower.”

“Fuck. Well, Fury has finally come to his senses and realizes that my job is important so he’s having Agent Monroe give me a lift back to the tower in the Helicopter. I’m assuming the quinjet is otherwise engaged now that Sutherland’s at the top of Shield’s shit list.”

“We really need you back here, Ev. Clint’s starting to put up a fuss and Thor’s gone back to Asgard to get Loki- apparently Odin doesn’t like having Loki there without Thor to watch him.” Steve tells her. “He’s supposed to be back by the end of the weekend and he’s bringing Loki, which I warned him was probably not a good idea but he ignored me. Clint’s hiding right now and I swear I know they both need to be changed at this point. I think Clint’s hiding in vents.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible, but I’m gonna let you go for now because I have one more call to make.” Evelyn sighs.

“Okay, I’ll keep looking here,” Steve responds before she ends the video call.

Steve groans, rubbing his face and then running his hands through his hair. How can he possibly have lost an adult-sized child and another adult-sized baby? He knows he’s in for it when everyone gets back. He’s gonna be the piñata, but he doubts they’ll take pity on him and use sticks or baseball bats. Hell, Evelyn doesn’t even need a weapon to torture him. Steve supposes this is a sign that he wasn’t meant to be a father period. As if to channel his mood in a cliché and absurd way, he hears the rain beating down on the tower as if every drop of water was demanding entrance just to punish him.

“… _When there's a doubt within your mind Because you're thinking all the time Framing rights into wrongs Move along, move along When there's a doubt within your mind When there's a burning in your heart And you think it'll burst apart Oh there's nothing to fear Save the tears, save the tears When there's a burning in your heart And if you feel just like a tourist In the city you were born Then it's time to go And define your destination There's so many different places to call home Cause when you find yourself the villain In the story you have written It's plain to see That sometimes the best intentions Are in need of redemption Would you agree? If so please show me…_ ” –Death Cab for Cutie, “You are a Tourist”


	15. Deadpool Meets the Real Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool surprises Steve, arriving before Evelyn could get to the tower and explain herself. The group handles his arrival and Steve's slip-up before things start to fall apart between Bruce and Evelyn, but Wade is there to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys got lucky and I speed-wrote this chapter. I'm already working on the next one. Let me know what you guys think! I'm always happy to hear your input!
> 
> Also, be sure to thank kweandee for their comment on this work because it sparked my creativity to the point that I got to post this chapter so soon! Thanks, kweandee!  
> (It is also so past my bedtime at after 2 am when I have to get up at 8 am for work! ha!)

“ _I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong Black and white didn't fit you and all along, You were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything That I need just to make it, but I can see that... Lord knows I failed you time and again, But you and me are alright We won't say our goodbyes You know it's better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change All we are, all we are is everything that's right All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi, yeah. I walked a minute in your shoes – They never would've fit I figured there's nothing to lose. I need to get Some perspective on these words before I write them down You're an island and my ship has run aground… All we are, all we are is everything that's right All we need all we need, a lover's alibi Every single day that I can breathe, You change my philosophy I'm never gonna let you pass me by So don't say your goodbyes You know it's better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change…_ ” – One Republic, “All We Are”

The last thing Steve is expecting as he continues to comb the communal floor, now in tears with everything torn apart, is for Deadpool to step out of the elevator as if he always lived there. Now, it is legit Deadpool, super suit, weapons and carrying an enormous and girly duffel bag, not Wade Wilson in his civilian clothes. Steve sets the couch back in its proper position as he sniffles and looks at Deadpool in complete confusion.

“Lose your shield, Captain?” Deadpool questions, clearly amused and a bit befuddled.

“It’s none of your business.” Steve sniffs, wiping a couple stray tears away. “What are you doing here and how did you get in?”

“Well, a long time ago in this same hell hole of a city, I fucked a little pixie and then she did me a favor, but she had to go after her overgrown child of a brother. Before she left, she demanded to have an ‘I owe you’ sort of deal and with a body as fuckable as hers, I stupidly said sure!” Deadpool cheerily begins to explain, vaulting over the back of the couch and flopping on the cushions. “So earlier, that same little pixie called me up and said she was cashing in her favor and giving me a blow job. She made sure I could get in.”

“Of course.” Steve sighs, realizing there’s a pattern to Evelyn’s lovers- all of them are in some way broken or generally fucked up. “Well, stay there and keep your mouth shut.”

“You know I’m the Merc with the mouth, right?” He questions, clearly amused.

“Right, silly me,” Steve grumbles flopping on the opposite couch while Deadpool looks around the room.

“Please tell me you don’t have kids.” Deadpool practically pleads, noticing all the baby paraphernalia.

“In a sense.” Steve allows.

He’ll let Evelyn explain the details.

After a moment of silence, Deadpool gasps.

“You lost your baby! Oh, boy are you in for a spanking!” Deadpool says, neither of them taking him seriously.

Before Steve can try to say anything else, the elevator dings and a decisively _different_ looking Evelyn steps out. She’s wearing the same clothes as earlier but her hair is significantly shorter than it was and is sitting in a braided bun to one side of her head and every part of her is dripping water from the torrential downpour. She’s also noticeably barefoot.

“Where is he?” Evelyn demands with a pointed look at Steve as she sheds her messenger bag on the floor with the flats she had been holding.

“Why, I’m right here, my little pixie stix!” Deadpool says, shifting himself into a daydreaming pose on the back of the couch.

“Not you, fuckwad.” Evelyn dismisses, looking back to Steve. “Where’s Baby Tony? In fact, where’s Clint?”

“I still haven’t found either of them,” Steve confesses, looking almost as miserable as he feels.

“I am sincerely going to beat the life out of you with your own shield.” Evelyn snaps. “JARVIS, where’s my baby?”

“He is hiding in the closet of the communal nursery. He managed to crawl in the blanket hamper.” JARVIS answers. “Clint is hiding just inside one of the vents in Agent Coulson’s room. It is probably best, Madam if you retrieve him and do so first.”

“I really fucking hate you right now, Steve Rogers. All you had to do was ask JARVIS!” Evelyn snaps.

“Wuh-oh, looks like you pissed off the wrong mommy cat…” Deadpool comments.

“For fuck’s sake, Wade! Go change out of that damn thing! We’re not going after Sutherland yet because I have a sick child to take care of.” Evelyn nearly shouts.

“Me-ow!” Deadpool remarks, making a run for one of the closest spare bedrooms with his duffel bag in tow.

Evelyn storms off and enters Phil’s room, seeing the vent cover wide open. She gets down on her hands and knees and peers in, making eye contact with Clint.

“Hi, sweetie!” Evelyn greets in a soft voice. “Will you come out and see Auntie Evie?”

She backs up and sits on her heels. After a minute or so, she hears him climbing through the vent, thankfully towards her and not further in. She takes Clint in her arms, relieved that he’s wearing pants over his diaper today- one less thing for Wade to notice and comment on. Unfortunately, Clint is going to be very rude since he’s still in his headspace though she supposes Clint’s rudeness isn’t all that different from Weasel’s.

“Bad day, huh, sweetheart?” Evelyn asks, rubbing Clint’s back as she gets to her feet and walks back to the living room.

“Mmmhmm.” Clint sniffles, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Well, guess who just got home?” Evelyn asks, watching the elevator doors open.

“Daddy?” Clint guesses.

“That’s right, munchkin. Go get Daddy.” Evelyn says, setting him down on his feet.

Clint practically tackles Phil as the man steps out of the elevator with Bruce, Amelia, and Natasha in tow- all carrying bags of groceries. Everyone laughs whole heartedly as Evelyn goes down to the end of the hall.

“Hey, JARVIS, lock Wade in the guest room for me until I get back out to the living room.” Evelyn instructs before she enters the communal nursery.

“As you wish, Madam” JARVIS responds as she enters.

“Baby, where are you?” Evelyn coos, tip-toeing around the room.

Not even a minute later, she hears Tony crying as he crawls out of the hamper to her. She immediately scoops him up and quickly changes his diaper, cooing at him the entire time about how she isn’t going anywhere. Once he’s in a clean diaper and his bodysuit is resituated, she carries him out on her hip. Steve is waiting with Tony’s Baymax pacifier. Evelyn takes it from him and easily slips it in Baby Tony’s mouth. Just as she turns around, Wade steps out of the guest room in sweatpants and sweatshirt with his right hand hanging limp.

“I gotta say, Tony Stark is a smart man giving his AI controls over everything in the tower and making the doors out of a super-strong metal. That hurt like a bitch.” Wade admits, focusing on his hand as he cracks and snaps it back into place.

Tony immediately starts crying as the sound echoes throughout the communal floor, everyone’s eyes are on Wade as Evelyn tries to calm Tony down.

“Oh no…” Wade drawls as he looks at Tony and his appearance.

He’s seen Tony before, but never like this.

“It’s age play therapy. Not very conventional, but when is Tony Stark ever conventional?” Natasha poses for the rest of them as Evelyn shoots her a look of relief.

“I know you’re the Merc with the mouth and all, but if this gets out that all those pictures that Sutherland leaked were real, I promise you’re on my shitlist, right there with him.” Evelyn warns, finally calming Tony down as she slips his soother back in and rubs his back.

“To each their own. There’s no way I wanna get on your shit list.” Wade agrees, putting his hands up in front of him. “So, why’s your overgrown child crying this time?”

“He can’t stand loud noises, especially if they sound like breaking bones,” Bruce explains, clearly uncomfortable with Wade being in the tower with them. “If you don’t mind my asking, what brought you here?”

“Why my lovely little pixie stix of course!” Wade points out as though it’s obvious.

“Pixie stix? I’m sorry, I don’t understand…” Bruce responds.

“That’s my _pet_ name for your baby momma,” Wade explains. “Also, I don’t do kids.”

“Coulda fooled me…” Amelia grumbles, moving towards the kitchen, only to be intercepted by Wade.

“Ah, Mrs. Jarvis! You look good for being a dinosaur!” Wade ‘compliments’ as he hugs her- only to find her knee colliding with his man parts.

Wade swears he hears his pelvic bone crack.

Everyone in the room snickers and devolves into a fit of laughter, even Baby Tony.

“Jesus, Wade!” Evelyn snorts as she continues to laugh. “She did that to you last time you tried to greet her! I thought you’d remember that!”

“Nope.” Wade groans from his balled up position on the floor as Amelia daintily steps over him and continues into the kitchen with Bruce, Phil, and Clint following in a similar fashion.

It’s when Natasha heads to the kitchen that he really regrets ending up on the floor as she purposely steps on him and continues on her way.

“Oh, Wadey-poo.” Evelyn sighs contentedly, helping him to his feet. “You’re so much fun to have around. Well, most of the time.”

“You’ve gotten a lot stronger, are you the she-hulk now?” Wade questions, ignoring her jab.

“Actually, they call me Seraphim. Probably because of the demon eyes.” Evelyn answers, fluttering eyelashes.

“Ooh, pretty!” Wade enthuses, coming closer and being weakly pushed away by a possessive Baby Tony. “How much blood did they have to spill before those little beauties appeared?”

“Too much. The scars are thin but deep.” Evelyn answers as the others start to come back out.

“Do we want to know what happened here?” Bruce asks, really looking around the room as Steve flushes in embarrassment.

“Ooh, pick me, pick me!” Wade pleads, raising his hand like an over eager teacher’s pet. “Ice Man lost the kids!”

“STEVE!” The others scold.

“Is that true, Steve?” Bruce asks, finally noticing the evidence that their normally composed leader has been crying.

“Yes. It’s a long story.” Steve sighs, cringing at the anger around him.

“Why didn’t you call someone or ask JARVIS?” Phil presses, hugging Clint to him.

“I told him to call Daddy!” Clint chimes in.

“How about we just have JARVIS play back the footage for us?” Evelyn suggests, in no mood to go through any sort of argument.

“Yay! Movie time!” Wade cheers, jumping over the cuddler and landing on the seat. “Home movies are the best!”

Evelyn shakes her head and sits down next to him with Tony curled up in her lap. The other follow suit, taking seats on the couches. Wade sneaks in a French kiss that doesn’t go unnoticed by Bruce. Evelyn smiles back at Wade sheepishly before nodding towards the area where the video footage will be shown. Clint is visibly uncomfortable as the security footage starts projecting.

{Author’s Note: The italics are from the last chapter to remind you of what happened, you can read it or skip past it. Reader’s choice!}

_“When Daddy coming home?” Clint whines for the tenth time._

_“Clint, buddy, I don’t know. I really don’t. He said he would call when he’s on his way back.” Steve answers trying to get Tony to drink a just a fourth of the water left in his bottle._

_However, Tony has different plans since his stomach isn’t feeling very content with the water that’s still sloshing around in his stomach and hasn’t gone through him yet. He fidgets and pushes Steve away, whining and starting to cry all the while._

_“But Daddy said he wasn’t gonna hafta leave!” Clint protests, nearing a tantrum._

_“I’m sorry, buddy, but I can’t do anything about that. Mr. Fury called him in and he couldn’t say no.” Steve responds, his patience wearing thinner by the minute as his phone buzzes. “Tony, baby, just a couple more sips and I’ll leave you alone until after we change your diaper, okay?”_

_Tony just cries, feebly pushing his Daddy away. Steve doesn’t push back because he knows that Tony’s having a hard enough time breathing outside of crying so he’s definitely not drinking anymore from his bottle any time soon._

_“But Uncle Steve, can’t you call Daddy and tell him he has to come home?” Clint presses, getting more bratty and whiney by the second._

_“No, Clint. I can’t do that. Daddy is at work and you would have to be very, very sick or something for it to be okay to take Daddy away from work.” Steve answers, attempting to barricade his frustration in the back of his mind as he offers Tony a soother and looks at his phone._

_“Is that Daddy?!” Clint presses, crawling over to Steve._

_“No, buddy, it’s Uncle Bruce,” Steve tells him, reading through the message as Tony takes the soother. “He’s gonna be gone for another hour or so before he gets back with the groceries and medicine for Tony.”_

_“Is Tony sick, Uncle Steve?” Clint asks, already starting to scheme._

_“Yes, poor baby has the flu.” Steve explains, rubbing Tony’s back as the little rests his head on his Daddy’s thigh. “Now, I need you to sit here with Tony while I go fill up your sippy cup and refill his bottle.”_

_“Okay.” Clint agrees, smiling in what he hopes is an innocent manner._

_Steve gets up, taking Tony’s bottle and Clint’s sippy cup with him, and heads to the kitchen. He can still hear them perfectly fine, but seeing them is a little more difficult with one of the couches blocking his view of the two. Once Clint is sure Steve is far enough away and probably has his back turned, he yanks the Baymax soother right out of Tony’s mouth and sticks it in his own. If being very, very sick will get his Daddy home, then he’ll just have to make himself sick and what better way than to get the flu from the baby? Unfortunately for Clint, Tony starts bawling, partly from wanting his pacifier back and partly because the older little yanked it out so hard that it hurt his teeth. Steve comes dashing in just as the pacifier hits the floor, but the super soldier is smart. The pacifier would already be on the floor if Tony had spit it out and most certainly wouldn’t be positioned the way it is with the guard towards his baby and the latex nipple towards Clint._

_“Clint, why did you do that?” Steve snaps, having lost his last shred of patience as he picks Tony up._

_“I didn’t do anything, Uncle Steve!” Clint argues, crossing his arms over his chest._

_“Don’t lie to me, Clint.” Steve warns, rubbing Tony’s back. “I know you took his soother.”_

_“No, I didn’t!” Clint shouts._

_“No shouting, mister.” Steve scolds, knowing Tony’s head must be about to explode from the all the noise on top of being stuffed and crying a lot. “Be honest with me and take your time out like a big boy and maybe I’ll make sure Daddy doesn’t punish you when he gets back.”_

_“I am being honest.” Clint huffs._

_“No, you’re not. Now, be honest and tell me why.” Steve pushes, searching the pouch in the toy bin for another pacifier._

_There’s only silence, Clint refusing to speak as Steve finally finds a pacifier with the Avengers insignia and slips it into Tony’s mouth._

_“Clint, please just tell me.” Steve pleads, completely exhausted from all the pushing and worrying he’s done._

_“I wanted Daddy home so I thought that if I sick like the baby then Daddy come home…” Clint says in a quiet voice._

_“Clint, while I appreciate that you told me, you’re still in trouble. You can’t just take things from Baby Tony and what’s more, you can’t get yourself sick just to make Daddy come home. Those are very mean things to do. You only made things worse when you lied about what you’re doing.” Steve responds, feeling horrible. “I want you to go sit in that corner in time out for an hour.”_

_“But, Uncle Steve! Daddy only makes me go for fifteen minutes!” Clint whines._

_“First off, I am in charge, your Daddy said so. Secondly, all the things you’ve done so far add up to an hour in my book because you even started yelling, which hurt Baby Tony just as much as when you yanked his soother out of his mouth. It hurt his teeth and your shouting hurt his head.” Steve clarifies, pulling Clint to his feet. “Now, if you keep up your whining, I’m going to make it an hour and fifteen minutes.”_

_“You’re just a big bully, Uncle Steve! You make me and Tony do stuffs that we don’t like just because you say so!” Clint shouts, stomping his foot._

_“CLINT BARTON, YOU MARCH TO THAT CORNER THIS INSTANT! YOU DO NOT BACK-TALK TO ANYONE WHO TAKES CARE OF YOU!” Steve bellows in his best captain’s voice._

_“NO! I WANT DADDY!” Clint shouts back, running out of Steve’s sight and crawling into the vent in his and his Daddy’s room._

_“Why…” Steve bemoans tilting his head back as Tony bawls while his clean soother hits the floor a foot away from the one that Clint took. “Tony, stop crying. You’re going to make yourself sick.”_

_Just as Steve warns the little guy, Tony’s stomach heaves and he hurls all over himself and Steve. What’s worse is that it’s nothing but water and stomach acid that partly came out of his nose with the sheer force of the action._

_“Tony!” Steve shouts, more in surprise than anger, not that Baby Tony can tell the difference. “That’s why you need to stop crying! You literally did that just because you wouldn’t listen!”_

_Tony escalates to wailing as Steve takes them into the nursery on the communal floor, which is at the far end of the hall. Steve cleans them both up in the bathroom and puts Tony in a clean, pastel blue bodysuit. He takes Tony back to the living room and sets him in his seat. The super soldier heads back to the kitchen with the soothers to clean them and finish the task that he went in there to do in the first place. By the time he returns, Baby Tony is nowhere to be found._

“Well, that explains a lot,” Evelyn comments blankly, feeling Wade’s arm around her.

“Come on, Clint,” Phil says, getting up. “We need to have a little talk.”

“I’m so sorry, Phil. I shouldn’t have gone off on him and I really should have asked JARVIS where they were.” Steve apologizes, still visibly miserable.

“It’s fine, Steve. Clint knows better than to behave like this.” Phil responds, taking Clint by the wrist as the little stands up. “To be honest, I’m impressed that you lasted as long as you did with him while you had Tony. To think, that was your first time with them.”

“Innuendos! Classic, am I right?” Wade enthuses, looking around at the others, who give him the traditional ‘really?’ look. “Or not…”

“Wilson, please try to behave yourself- at least while the little ones are around.” Amelia sighs, shaking her head.

“Yes, mommy dearest.” Wade chides with mock innocence.

“Call me that again and I’ll break your pelvic bone in half.” Amelia threatens, getting up from the couch and heading to the elevator. “I’m taking you up on your offer, Bruce and I’m staying on your floor. At least, you have manners and decency. Marry my daughter!”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Jarvis!” Wade calls, knowing he wasn’t the intended receiver for her last comment as Phil practically drags Clint back to their room. “I think she likes me more this time.”

“Then you’re the only one, dear,” Evelyn informs him as she looks to Natasha. “So, did you guys bring my cool new gear back?”

“It’s all on the training floor for now. Phil and Bruce said it’d be safer to store them there since Clint and Tony can’t go anywhere but the penthouse and the communal floor.” Natasha responds, getting to her feet. “I’m gonna run through some exercises for a couple hours, if any of you wanna spar, just head down.”

“Count me in!” Wade says, starting to get up until Evelyn yanks him back down.

“Nope. You’re staying up here where I can keep an eye on you.” Evelyn counters with a mischievous smile.

“On second thought, I think I will stay here.” Wade agrees, realizing that if all goes right, he might actually score tonight.

“Steve, I’m sure you could use a spar to get rid of some of the stress,” Bruce suggests, not really wanting an audience when he knows Evelyn’s about to talk to him about screwing Wade.

“Come on, Cap. I could use a worthy opponent.” Natasha encourages.

“That actually sounds like a good idea right now.” Steve agrees, getting up from the couch and following Natasha into the elevator.

There’s a moment of silence. Evelyn is smiling down her sleeping Baby Tony, whose head is resting on her chest while he sucks on his soother as his other hand clutches the fabric of her dress over her breast. She kisses his forehead and brushes her fingers through her hair. Wade is mostly staring at Tony’s hand essentially clutching her breast and wishing to switch places with the little guy- minus the age play aspect. Bruce clears his throat so the other two look in his direction.

“I assume there will be sexual interactions between you two.” Bruce presumes.

Evelyn swears she can see a hint of hurt and sadness on his face as he says it.

“Most likely, but it’s nothing like what we have, Bruce,” Evelyn assures him, not liking where this is going.

“It’s just pity sex since Vanessa and I broke up.” Wade points out with an attempt at a nonchalant shrug.

“I’m sorry to hear that you two split up.” Bruce acknowledges, still not feeling any better about all of it. “Well, I’m going to take Tony up to sleep for a bit…”

Bruce hauls himself off the couch and holds his arms out for Tony. Evelyn reluctantly lets him take Tony from her arms and follows him to the elevator. When she leans in to kiss him, he pulls back to hit the button, but she knows better. JARVIS would’ve taken him to the right floor even if he didn’t hit the button. He just doesn’t want to kiss her. She pulls back and smiles sadly at him before the doors close, but he ignores her, focusing on Tony.

“He fucking hates me.” Evelyn cries Wade comes over and hugs her to his chest.

“No, he doesn’t. It’s been a fucked up and shitty day for everyone. He’s just sad that he’s not spending the night with you…” Wade consoles her, burying his face in her hair. “We won’t do anything tonight, though. I actually think you should spend it with him and Tony. They obviously need you more than I do…”

“But that’s not fair to you, Wade… I can’t just demand you come over and then ditch you…” Evelyn sniffles, looking up at him.

“It’s fine. I’ll just get the AI to fill me in on Sutherland and what’s been going on while you work things out with envy.” Wade assures her.

“But what if he doesn’t want to work things out?” Evelyn panics, searching Wade’s for an answer.

“Then give him some time and if he still doesn’t want you, well, there’s always me.” Wade answers, kissing her forehead and aiming her towards the elevator. “Go get him, Kitten.”

“Thanks, love…” Evelyn responds before the elevator doors close.

Wade stands there, watching the closed elevator doors for what seems like an eternity before going back to the guest room. He pulls out his wallet and looks at the two pictures he’s always kept with him over the years. The first is a picture of him and Vanessa in their ugly Christmas sweaters- a time when neither of them were mutated freaks… The second is a picture of him and Evelyn where she was holding a positive pregnancy test. On the back is that date that it was aborted. Both times, he thought he found the one and maybe one of those times he did, but it obviously wasn’t the right time. He wonders if Bruce has ever been through the kinds of heartbreak he has…

“ _I'm starting to feel We stay together out of fear Of dying alone I've been slipping through the years My old clothes don't fit like they once did So they hang like ghosts of the people I've been It's like my heart can't be tamed And I fall in love every day And I feel like a fool I have to face the truth That no one could ever look at me like you do Like I'm something worth holding onto There's times I think of leaving But it's something I'll never do 'Cause you can do better than me But I can't do better than you You can do better than me But I can't do better than you_ ” –Death Cab for Cutie, “You Can Do Better Than Me”

“… _Is it just me or has this time we've spent come undone I know forever is not what you want I'll pack my bags and brush it off, brush it off Why do you cry when you're falling asleep And girl, how can you love without ever losing it all Don't put your faith in this when you won't believe it Where did you go How will you find yourself when your hand to hold is letting go Where did you go How will you tell yourself you're losing hope Tell me that you're alright Yeah, like I really care Why do we fight sometimes Just like we always do Try and make up your mind I'll make it up for you Try to make up your mind…_ ” –Mayday Parade, “Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic”


	16. Bruises and Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn and Bruce have a chat that ends in a break. We learn more about Wade and Evelyn's history together and Tony and Wade start to connect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crazy, stupid, long chapter. Sorry. But also not? Oh well. I'll be updating sometime tomorrow (later today but I have yet to go to bed) or Saturday.   
> So "Hold On Till May" by Pierce the Veil is meant to be the sort of 'our song' deal for Wade and Evelyn since she's always been a little fucked up and he's always been a little (lot) fucked up so they fell in mutual fucked up-ness and called it love.  
> Let me know what you guys want to see happen! Suggestions are always considered carefully and if it works, it'll be posted in the plot!  
>  Love you guys,  
> Lizzy Jean

“ _Think of me when you're out, when you're out there I'll beg you nice from my knees And when the world treats you way too fairly Well it's a shame I'm a dream All I wanted was you… I think I'll pace my apartment a few times And fall asleep on the couch Wake up early to black and white re-runs? That escaped from my mouth… All I wanted was you I could follow you to the beginning And just to relive the start And maybe then we'll remember to slow down At all of our favorite parts All I wanted was you…_ ” –Paramore, “All I Wanted”

“… _So, baby, be honest Is this what you wanted? We lost where we started And found out much more than we wanna know I'm bruised and scarred Save me from this broken heart All my love will slowly fade and fall apart Someone please sing this lovesick melody Call my name if you're afraid I'm just a kiss away_ ” –Mayday Parade, “Bruised and Scarred”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the elevator doors open to the penthouse, Evelyn sees Bruce sitting by himself in the cuddler with his face in his hands. Tony is nowhere to be seen. As she gets closer she can hear him sniffling and crying, not even realizing she’s there. She circles around the cuddler and sits on her heels in front of him with her hands on his knees.

“Bruce… I’m sorry…” Evelyn whispers with tremors in her voice.

“No, it’s fine.” Bruce sniffles, rubbing the tears off his face.

“Then why are you crying?” Evelyn asks, looking up at him with a deep sorrow in her eyes.

Bruce lets out a sigh. She’s right, just like she usually is about him. Even if he were a better liar, she’s telepathic now so it wouldn’t matter and then they’d just start fighting about how he tried to lie to her.

“Because I know your history with him, Evelyn,” Bruce answers in a quiet voice.

“And that’s all it is, history…” Evelyn feebly points out.

“Evelyn, I saw how content and how much like the old Evelyn that didn’t have to cope with mutations you were when he did those things.” Bruce argues. “I feel awful that I can’t do that for you. I can’t make you melt back to your former self just by sneaking in a French kiss and putting an arm around you…”

“Don’t you remember how you helped me through everything when I first came home?” Evelyn questions, looking downright pitiful. “You danced with me and made me smile… You helped me get alone time with Tony and covered my ass while I was away.”

“Evelyn, it’s been months since we’ve had sex, which you used to love and practically beg me for, even after I got back from a mission with the others.” Bruce counters. “You don’t want me like you used to. It’s not romantic and sexual anymore. It’s just familial, which isn’t all bad, but it’s not what we were supposed to have.”

“We’re just out of the honeymoon phase, I guess and things haven’t been going so smoothly in the past few months…” Evelyn qualifies, despite knowing the truth in his words.

“I’m sterile, Evelyn, and I know that bothers you because I see it every time you take one of those damned pregnancy tests,” Bruce argues, getting more frustrated than upset.

“I’m probably not in any better shape. I can’t help trying, though… I just… I always thought I’d have a little family like Daddy and Mama had…” Evelyn defends, feeling even lousier as the conversation continues. “Look, we don’t have to keep doing this and Wade is the one who called off the sexual side of my relationship with him and sent me up here. We can just go back to being exclusive and I’ll hook Tony up with one of my friends…”

“I can’t ask you to do that just because I can’t stop overthinking things.” Bruce disagrees, feeling genuinely guilty. “I know you like being with Tony and those few people you’re close to in a sexual way and I can’t make you give that up just because I’m being emotional.”

“Yes, you can! You can because you’re the one I’m with and I love you!” Evelyn cries, minding her volume. “I don’t want to lose you…”

“I will always be here for you, even if we break up,” Bruce promises, taking her hands in his. “But right now, I want you to enjoy your time with Wade. Have sex, cuddle, watch a movie, and just be the old Evelyn…”

“What are you saying…?”

“I guess I’m saying that we need to take a break and you need to go.” Bruce answers, not unkindly, as he gets up and guides the stunned woman into the elevator. “We’ll talk again tomorrow about who will take care of Tony and when, but nothing about us. Take her back to Wade, JARVIS.”

“Wait, no!” Evelyn pleads, coming out of the shock too late as the elevator doors close.

Evelyn drops to her knees and feels her tugs her fingers through her hair, yanking it out of the braided bun, as she sobs her heart out. That’s how Wade finds her when the elevator doors open on the communal floor. He didn’t think she’d be back so soon- if at all, but from the looks of it, she didn’t come back by choice.

“Ev, come on, let’s get you into some comfier clothes and into bed.” Wade coaxes, trying to help her to her feet to no avail.

He finally just picks her up and carries her bridal-style to the guest room where his duffel bag was left. It’s the same room that she and Bruce always use when they sleep on the communal floor after group nights in. Wade helps her out of her Iron Man inspired dress and grabs an oversized baseball-style concert tee from the dresser, which he knows is hers because it’s from a Death Cab for Cutie concert that she ditched a college class to go to with him. They only had large sizes left but Evelyn didn’t even bat an eyelash when she found herself swimming in it as if it were just a really loose dress. He had loved the sight of it so much when she tried it on over her clothes at the vendor’s booth that he paid for it before she could object. She looked so tiny and fragile then, but now she looks like a broken porcelain doll that wasn’t made quite right and he hates it. He tucks her into the bed, leaving her to stare numbly at the wall now that her tears have stopped. Wade slips out of the bedroom and enters the elevator.

“My apologies, Master Wilson, but I cannot grant you access to Sir’s penthouse.” JARVIS alerts him, not even closing the elevator doors.

“Yes, you can, Circuit boy,” Wade argues. “You know I will get up there even if it means crawling through a vent shaft or climbing up the side of this damn thing and busting through a window.”

JARVIS closes the doors and the elevator starts moving up.

“Thank you,” Wade says, looking at the ceiling for a lack of eyes or any other feature to make eye contact with. “And I promise I won’t scare your over-grown baby of a creator.”

Let’s just say, old habits die hard- or in Wade’s case, never die because they’re as immortal as the person. As the elevator doors open, Wade is shocked to see Bruce looking perfectly miserable himself. He was prepared to send Bruce on an all-out guilt trip with an extended stay on ‘Remorse Island’ for hurting Evelyn, but whatever happened clearly wasn’t what either of them wanted.

“Bruce,” Wade says to announce his presence.

“Wade? What are you doing up here?” Bruce questions.

“I came to find out what happened when she came up here.” Wade answers, a confused look on his face.

“That’s between me and her.” Bruce responds, seeming a bit defensive.

“It _was_ between you and her. Now, it’s between all three of us.”

“How do you figure?”

“Since I only knew she came back to the communal floor because she was sobbing so loud she could have made someone go deaf. She was practically tearing her hair out on the elevator floor.” Wade explains, frustrated with the scientist’s obtuseness. “You know, for a scientist, you suck at the scientific method.”

“She was fine when she got in the elevator…” Bruce says, more to himself than Wade.

“Well, she’s staring at a wall right now and trying to remember how to breathe.” Wade updates, crossing his arms over his chest. “What the fuck happened up here?”

“We just talked…” Bruce hesitates, unsure of how much he’s comfortable sharing.

“About what, beaker boy?” Wade presses.

“Our relationship. She came and apologized and tried to say that we could be in a closed relationship… I told her that I couldn’t do that to her or any of the people she’s with sexually already…” Bruce elaborates, running his hands through his curly locks.

“Why did she try to make your relationship exclusive?”

“Because I admitted that I felt awful seeing you and her together,” Bruce confesses. “She hasn’t been the same since the serum and things were already strained. When I saw the way you made her feel, like the serum never got injected into her…”

Both are silent for a moment as the words hang in the air. Wade looks Bruce over, choosing his words carefully for once in his life.

“I told her to go back down and enjoy her time with you and that we’re taking a break… She’s happier with you…” Bruce adds, looking even more miserable.

“She knows that I’ve been through the exact same thing. We were both injected and tortured, held like animals until we finally made our escapes.” Wade tells him. “With me, she feels more normal because we share that experience and a couple super freak abilities, but she _loves_ you.”

“She said that…” Bruce admits.

“Because she means it. Even if she loves me, it’s nothing compared to what she feels for you.”

“I just don’t think we’re together because we want to be anymore. I think she’s just afraid to be alone…” Bruce dismisses.

“That’s complete bullshit and you know it,” Wade argues.

“How do you know?” Bruce demands.

“Because I know her and even if she is afraid to be alone and she doesn’t want to be with you, she knows that Tony, or Desiree or I would be there for her,” Wade responds, every bit as frustrated as Bruce. “She wants you, but you’re not there for her right now so she’s settling for me.”

“Then be there for her!” Bruce snaps, not liking the implications Wade’s words could carry.

“Coulda swore that was my line, Hulk.” Wade comments.

“She and I are on a break and that’s the end of it,” Bruce states blankly. “For now, at least.”

“And what about Tony? How is he supposed to handle his pseudo-parents not being together?” Wade pushes, not about to let it go. “I may not understand this age play shit, but I know that in any family, if the parents aren’t happy, then no one is. I mean, how the fuck can you have Tony acting like a baby who needs a stable, supportive environment when you are denying him the exact situation he needs by pushing your own girlfriend away. Shit, she’s practically your fiancée at this point and here you are forcing her to leave you and her pretend baby.”

“I can’t give her what she wants or what she needs!” Bruce practically shouts in his grief and frustration as fiery tears stream down his face. “Do you even know what that feels like? We can’t have kids because I’m sterile! I see her stare at those fucking pregnancy tests every damn time she’s even a little late on her period, just hoping that maybe that time it’ll say she’s pregnant!”

“Calm the fuck down,” Wade warns, not about to get into a fight with him- mostly for Evelyn’s sake. “I know how you feel better than you can even imagine. Do you know that she once told me that she wanted to be a surrogate mother and get the footprints of her children on the right side of her back and the ones from the babies she would carry for other couples on the left?”

“She wants to be a surrogate?” Bruce asks, a bit calmer now. “She never said anything to me about any of that…”

“Because she gave up on it all years ago, but she even told me, after you two go together, that being with you made her want to try again.” Wade fills in for him.

“Why did she give up on it in the first place?”

“Because of this.”

Wade walks over to Bruce, pulling out his wallet and handing the picture of him and Evelyn with the positive pregnancy test. It’s a profile picture of him kneeling in front of her. Her abdomen is distended as if she was bloated from PMS.  Her face is turned towards the camera with a huge grin while he kisses her belly. Both holding up the positive pregnancy test for the picture while their free hands are entwined in the background.

“We were so fucking stupid. We thought we would get married in Vegas or some shit and use that picture to send to everyone to announce the pregnancy.” Wade scoffs affectionately, almost wishing he couldn’t feel just like Francis- well before the fuckass died.

“What happened?” Bruce wonders aloud, not really expecting an answer.

“Turn it over and read the back.”

Bruce does as told and everything about him seems to cringe and wilt.

“Why…”

“Because we were broke and her parents hated me. Fuck, even her brothers hated me. Tony wouldn’t let me anywhere near her if he could help it.  Junior was the passive aggressive one. He just kept an eye on me and would start a fist fight if he didn’t like what was going on.” Wade answers. “She stopped talking to me for a while so I went off and did some mercenary work for normal people. That’s when I met Vanessa. We were both at the bar and I paid her to go on a date with me. You know how the rest goes.”

“This just proves you can give her what I can’t.” Bruce points out, handing the picture back to the mercenary.

“That doesn’t mean it’s what she wants. You keep comparing us in terms of her but you never factor in what she might actually want.” Wade counters, studying the photo before tucking it back in his wallet.

“Because I don’t know what she wants.”

“Didn’t you ask her what she wants?”

“No, I didn’t but…”

“Don’t be an ass and start assuming things because that’s how you kill a relationship.” Wade scolds.

Bruce sighs and rubs his face with his hands, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table.

“You still haven’t said anything about the situation when it comes to Tony.” Wade reminds him, dropping onto the couch.

“Because I’m not Tony’s father figure. Steve is. I’m just Papa, a guy who’s dating Mama.” Bruce replies, looking up at the other man. “Tony will age back up some time and he’ll decide then what he wants.”

“Woah there, Einstein. You’re being an ass again.”

“How? How am I being an ass this time?”

“You’re acting like Mommy and Daddy got a divorce and now the baby has to pick who he wants to stay with.” Wade clarifies, amazed at the lack of intelligence Bruce is displaying.

“We might as well break up with the way things are going.”

“Seriously?” Wade groans, banging his head on the frame of the back of the couch.

“What?!” Bruce demands, not understanding the ‘immortal’s’ reaction.

“Did you not listen to anything that I’ve been saying since you started this pity party?” Wade interrogates, looking as though he might throw a punch.

“Of course, I have!”

“Then why the fuck are you still assuming?!” Wade yells, having lost his temper and his patience all in one go.

The Merc with the Mouth immediately regrets his outburst as he hears someone crying. He already knows it’s Tony, but at the point, he just regards Tony as a baby since that’s his mindset. Before Bruce can even get up, Wade is walking back to the source of the crying. The nursery is quite the shocking sight to the mercenary as he enters and sees Tony laying in a huge crib with a fallen pacifier right next to him.

“Hey, little guy. We’re gonna take you back to your Mama.” Wade soothes, picking Tony up like a small child and offering the little the discarded pacifier.

He’s relieved as Tony takes to sucking on the pacifier instead of screeching in his ear. As he goes to leave the nursery, he runs into Bruce.

“What are you doing?” Bruce questions, confused by Tony snuggling into the man he had pushed away earlier.

“I’m taking him to Ev because you need time to get yourself together and she needs someone to love and look after.” Wade answers, pushing past him and continuing to the elevator.

Wade frowns and shakes his head as he sees Bruce just standing in the living room like a ghost stuck between worlds. The elevator doors close and after a couple minutes of silent brooding on Wade’s part, the doors open back on the communal floor. Instead of taking Tony straight to Evelyn, he sits down in the cuddler with Tony straddling his lap. Wade keeps his arms wrapped around Tony’s waist to keep him from falling.

“Tony, I know this a lot to ask and that you don’t care for me, but I really need you to age up for a bit,” Wade tells him, quirking an eyebrow when Tony sticks his chin out. “Do you want your pacifier out?”

Tony nods and Wade takes the soother out. Wade notices a shift in the look in Tony’s eyes, which he supposes is a sign of Tony aging up.

“Please, don’t tell anyone…” Tony sighs, rubbing his face and scrubbing a hand through his hair.

“I won’t. I may be a fucking prick but that I’m not that evil.” Wade responds, slightly amused.

“Why did you ask me to age up?” Tony prompts, his voice sounding pretty raw and unused.

“Because shit went south and fast. Bruce and Evelyn are apparently taking a break, but every time I told Bruce to just take a breath and actually think about where to go from there, he keeps saying that they need to break up.” Wade sighs. “Evelyn’s in really bad shape. She came back from talking to Bruce before I went up and she was a hot mess in the worst way. God, I never thought I’d say that about her…”

“What the hell happened?’

“Apparently things haven’t been going well between them and even worse after those assholes at Shield put her through hell. According to Bruce, I just made things worse by coming here. He thinks that Evelyn doesn’t love him anymore because he can’t give her everything.” Wade elaborates, carefully watching the thoughts and emotions running across Tony’s face.

“What do you mean he can’t give her everything?” Tony pushes, not understanding the full extent of the issue.

“He’s mostly freaking out because he can’t get her pregnant and she’s wanted kids all her life and even wanted to be a surrogate.” Wade responds, clenching his eyes shut as he remembers how broken she was after the abortion. “With the way Bruce is acting, they aren’t going to be together much longer. I don’t know what things have been like here before, but they’re pretty bad now. I don’t know what to tell Evelyn and I have no idea how this is gonna affect your age play deal with them. Bruce wouldn’t even really address that when I asked him about it.”

“Why do you even care about all of this?” Tony questions, eying Wade as if he were some strange creature that’s never been seen before.

“Fuck me…” Wade groans. “How many times am I going to have to reopen this wound?”

Wade heaves a sigh as he uses one hand to fish out his wallet and then pull out the picture of him and Evelyn for the third time. He hands it to Tony and waits for the genius to put two and two together, which he thankfully does much faster than Bruce.

“Evie had a baby with you?” Tony clarifies, looking from the photo to Wade and back.

“Almost. She almost had a baby with me.” Wade corrects, a hint of sorrow in his voice.

“What do you mean almost?”

Wade flips the picture over and Tony gasps as he reads the writing on the back.

“We couldn’t keep it. Both her parents hated me, though only her father’s opinion was up to date at the time and he wouldn’t let her keep it even if we weren’t broke off our asses.” Wade adds, swallowing his emotions. “We had planned to get married on the fly and send that picture out to announce that we were having a baby, but the abortion canceled those plans.”

“What happened after the abortion?” Tony asks in a quiet voice, looking back at the picture.

“She fell apart and shut herself off from me. She felt bad because that wasn’t just her kid, it was mine too. She started burying herself in her college classes and stopped talking to me. Sometimes she would even go out of her way to avoid me.” Wade answers, unable to look Tony in the eye. “She gave up on having kids and trying to be a surrogate mother after that. Well, she did until she met started dating Bruce. They’ve been trying for a long time but with Bruce being sterile, it’s never going to happen. That’s probably why she gets as much as you do out of the age play system you guys have…”

Tony sits there for a moment processing everything he’s just learned. He didn’t know that she wanted kids so bad or that she’d even been trying with Bruce. It does make sense for her enjoyment of his age play therapy. It never occurred to him that she actually enjoys it too. He always figured the caregiver end was just one giant chore and burden to her, but if that were true he guesses she wouldn’t be so happy about taking care of him. He doesn’t know what to think. It’s just too weird for him to think about Evelyn and Bruce not being a couple since they’ve been together since before he even started age playing. At the same time, he’s also terrified of Evelyn dating someone who does get her pregnant. If that happens, she’ll probably forget all about him in favor of doting on an actual baby. Tony wraps his arms around Wade’s neck, burying his face in the curvature of the man’s neck, as he starts crying.

“I know, it’s fucked up, isn’t it?” Wade says, absent-mindedly rubbing the smaller man’s back as he feels said man nodding against him. “To tell you the truth, a part of me has always been disgustingly domestic. I really was going to marry Ev and make a real life for us…”

“Really?” Tony pushes, pulling away to look at Wade’s face.

“Call me crazy, but yeah,” Wade assures him, wiping Tony’s tears away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Ugh, that was such a domestic move.”

Tony blushes a bit and looks down. Maybe Evelyn will get back together with Wade… Then Tony will still get to be her baby since Wade seems to like kids too… When he makes eye contact with Wade again, the mercenary can tell that he’s retreated back to being a baby. Tony clings to Wade and it suddenly clicks for the mutant mercenary why Evelyn likes age playing with the genius engineer. Tony is the baby that they never had… Before Tony can devolve into another crying fit, Wade slips the soother back into the little’s mouth. He feels a strange warmth flow through his being as he hears Tony coo into the side of his neck. Wade can’t believe the insanity that this must look like- him, an anti-hero of sorts that has only ever killed for a living, coddling a full grown man like a baby, and not just any full grown man, but the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, Tony Stark.

How much more fucked up can things get?

“Master Wilson, my apologies, but Madam is missing… She went to the training room while you were with Dr. Banner and then went to the roof. She is nowhere to be found in the tower. I suspect she’s taken Phoenix.” JARVIS informs him. “I only suspect because Madam is rather brilliant at evading the security cameras.”

“Great, but I have a Baby Tony so what am I supposed to do about that?” Wade questions, glaring at the ceiling.

“Captain Rogers is still wide awake, or Dr. Banner-”

“Recommend him one more time and I’m hacking your system to give you a virus.” Wade threatens.

“Or Agent Coulson. He and Agent Barton are still awake in their room.” JARVIS suggests.

“I think we already know how two littles and one caregiver ends,” Wade comments sourly. “Where’s Captain Martyr?”

“The Captain is on his own floor currently. He is sketching in the living room.” JARVIS reports.

“What do you say, buddy? Should we go see the American Popsicle?” Wade offers, getting up from the cuddler.

“’Addy!” Tony cheers around his pacifier, pulling away so he has enough room to giddily clap his hands together.

“Do I wanna know, oh mighty tower voice?” Wade asks as he enters the elevator and the doors close.

“When Sir is of a younger mind he regards Captain Rogers as his father,” JARVIS explains.

“What am I then? Mutant kabob?” Wade fake pouts.

“Uh-uh!” Tony hums, cuddling closer. “’Addy ‘oo!”

“Did I hear that right?”

“I believe Young Sir has designated you as a second father.” JARVIS clarifies.

“This just gets weirder and weirder by the minute…” Wade breathes, his head spinning at the events of the day.

The doors open to Steve’s dimly lit floor of the tower. The majority of the light is coming from an old fashioned projector that Steve’s pulled a chair up to as he sketches a picture of Evelyn, Tony, Wade and Bruce from his perspective from earlier in the day when Wade had kissed her while Tony started dozing in her arms. It really did look bad from an outsider’s perspective…

“Hey, American Popsicle,” Wade calls as he approaches.

Steve nearly jumps out of his seat twice- the first when he hears Wade’s voice and the second time when he hears Tony giggling.

“Pretty funny, huh, little guy?” Wade chuckles, getting a kick out of Steve’s reaction to seeing him holding Baby Tony.

“When did this happen?” Steve asks, thankful that JARVIS is automatically brightening the overhead lights.

“After Bruce practically declared that he and Evelyn are breaking up. If you ask me, he’s just inhaling too many chemicals in that lab of his.” Wade answers. “But that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here then?” Steve questions, deciding to pay a visit to Bruce later.

“Because you gotta take the munchkin,” Wade responds.

“Come here, sweetie,” Steve coos, extending his arms to Tony, who reaches back.

Steve takes Tony from Wade’s arms and cuddles him close, kissing his temple.

“I don’t know when we’ll be back because I don’t know when I’ll find her,” Wade says, starting to turn away.

“Wait, we? Who’s we and who are you looking for?” Steve presses, confused by all of it.

“I have to go find Evelyn. She just up and left while I was resisting the urge to punch Bruce in the face.” Wade explains, a curious look on his face as Tony starts to pout and whine. “Does that happen often?”

“Yes and no,” Steve responds, not sure why Tony’s fussing.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s just fussy and sick. He has the flu so he’s been feeling pretty awful all day. I can barely get him to drink water.” Steve explains, rubbing Tony’s back. “You should probably get going, she might’ve taken the mechanical wings that Shield made for her and if that’s the case, she could be anywhere.”

“I have a feeling I know where she is if she’s able to fly around the city.” Wade sighs starting to walk away until he hears Tony crying. “What’s wrong, little guy?”

“’Addy!” Tony cries from behind his pacifier as he reaches for Wade.

“Did he just…?” Steve wonders aloud.

“Yeah, he started calling me Daddy a little while ago,” Wade confirms, running his fingers through Tony’s hair and quieting to a whisper. “Baby, I gotta go find Mama. She’s lost and she needs me to bring her home to you.”

Wade feels like an idiot. He’s cooing at a grown man pretending to be a baby. He’s officially gone off the deep end of the crazy pool. At the same time, it feels oddly natural… After all, how often does someone with such a fugly mug find this many people who actually care about him as a person and not an asset? Just to make his descent into insanity official and complete, Wade kisses Tony’s cheek before he jumps back into the elevator. He goes up to the communal floor, slips on his super-suit, and heads out. He really hopes she’s still there when finally gets there.

Deadpool pulls his mp3 out of its pouch on his belt and hooks it up to the portable speaker as he sits in the back of a cab.

“ _She sits up high, Surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she loves every one. Mom and Dad, Did you search for me, I've been up here so long, I'm going crazy. And as the sun went down, We ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows You screamed over the sound. And as we own this night, I put your body to the test with mine. This love was out of control, 3-2-1 where did it go? Now don't be crazy, yes now, Of course, you can stay here been in a touring band for going on ten years "Big deal," She said, " I guess you're official" I only said it 'cause I know what it's like to feel BURNED OUT It gets you down, We've all been there sometimes But tonight I'll make you feel beautiful once again. And as the sun went down, We ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows You screamed over the sound. And as we own this night, I put your body to the test with mine. This love was out of control, 3-2-1 where did it go? If I were you, I'd put that away See, you're just wasted And thinking about the past again Darling, you'll be okay. She said, "If you were me, you'd do the same 'cause I can't take anymore I'll draw the shades and close the door Everything's not alright and I would rather...." And as the sun went down, We ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows You screamed over the sound. And as we own this night, I put your body to the test with mine. This love was out of control, Tell me, where did it go?_ ” – Pierce the Veil, “Hold On Till May”


	17. Confronting Bruce and Finding Evelyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve confronts Bruce, much to Tony's dismay, while Wade goes out searching for Evelyn.

“ _These colors will not change You change the way I see them These words will fade when you explain Why you hate them, we are the same She keeps repeating all that she needed She says she's right here She seems so distant Saying goodbye This time, the same old story Seeing you cry It makes me feel like saying sorry Just a few last hours We gotta make this count We're counting backwards… Saying goodbye This time, the same old story Seeing you cry It makes me feel like saying sorry Saying sorry, we've fallen apart Wish we knew this from the start Saying goodbye's the hardest part Wish we knew this from the start…_ ” –Hawthorne Heights, “Saying Sorry”

“ _Just breathe The midnight air will do you well Believe I miss your taste, I miss your smell The past mistakes that brought you here I'll break the fall for you, my dear I'll ask the nurse for bandages And send me on my way Rescue me From everything I just wanna live I wish I could breathe Every other day I sit and wait for the same bad news Can you hear me say I've got nothing left to lose? Someone please start making sense And beg the Lord for accidents I've seen the worst case scenario Slowly letting go Rescue me From everything I just wanna live I wish I could breathe…_ ” –Hawthorne Heights, “Rescue Me”

After about ten minutes of soothing, Steve finally gets Tony calmed down again. He can’t believe that Wade- in the span of hours- has won Tony’s heart so fully that he’s earned the title of ‘Daddy.’ Moreover, it’s mind blowing to him that Bruce would end his nearly two-year relationship with Evelyn over a French kiss and cheesy arm around the shoulder from Wade Wilson- probably the most notoriously sexual person they know- when the two engage in polyamory. The super soldier shakes his head and sighs as he realizes he’s in for a long conversation with the scientist.

“JARVIS, is Bruce still awake?” Steve asks as he walks over to the elevator.

“Yes, Captain. He has been standing in the same spot for about an hour.” JARVIS reports as Tony devolves into tears.

“Sweetie, what’s the matter?” Steve asks as the elevator doors close them in.

“If I may, Captain, I naturally overheard the conversation Sir and Master Wilson had before coming to find you and my hypothesis is that Young Sir is not as fond of Dr. Banner upon discovering the potential end of his pseudo-family and, at the extreme end, therapeutic age play.” JARVIS supplies. “Though it seems that Master Wilson did his best to comfort Sir and reassure him that things would work out.”

“Sweetie, Papa is never going to make you stop being little and neither is Mama. You know that I’ll never leave you, either. Papa just feels bad about what’s happening with Mama.” Steve soothes, managing to calm Baby Tony down to sniffles and hiccups. “Poor baby…”

As the doors open to the penthouse, Steve is disturbed to see that Bruce is just standing there, staring at the elevator. When he steps out, he realizes that Bruce isn’t there mentally since he doesn’t even twitch at their appearance. Baby Tony buries his face in his Daddy’s shoulder and clings a little tighter.

“You’re just Daddy’s little koala, aren’t you?” Steve teases, kissing Tony’s temple as he maneuvers the soother back in the little’s mouth.

He feels Tony nod into his shoulder. Steve stands in front Bruce with an eyebrow cocked questioningly. He snaps his fingers a few times, not even an inch away from the scientist’s face. After a second, Bruce blinks a few times and his eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

“Steve?” Bruce says.

“JARVIS says you’ve been standing there for an hour.” Steve supplies, both eager and not to get some answers.

“I guess I just got lost in thought…” Bruce supposes, rubbing his face with his hands- something he realizes he’s been doing more and more frequently.

“Thoughts about what? How you’re going to break up with Evelyn? Or about how Tony has started calling Wade Wilson ‘daddy?’ Or maybe how Evelyn’s gone missing by her own choice this time and Wade is currently trying to find her while you’re sulking?” Steve questions, not even trying to hide his frustration. “Or perhaps you’re about to start thinking of how Tony didn’t want to come up here with me because he doesn’t like the thought of you breaking up with Evelyn since he thinks that means he won’t get to do age play anymore?”

“I presume Wade told you all of that?” Bruce guesses with a sigh as they sit down on the couches.

“Some. JARVIS told me about Tony’s fears.” Steve answers, cradling Baby Tony in his arms and pulling one of the fleece no-sew blankets over him. “Why don’t you want to stay with Evelyn? Is this about Wade kissing her earlier?”

Bruce refuses to make eye contact as he responds, “Partly, but it’s been a long time coming… The first year with her was like being in Heaven, but now, it’s like purgatory because I never know what she’s going to be like from one day to the next… I see the way she is with Wade and they just click better than us.”

“Look, Bruce, I’m not really the one to come to for relationship advice, but the way it sounds is that you’ve put Evelyn in a purgatory situation by telling her you’re taking a break from each other while you’re in a polyamorous relationship.” Steve responds, feeling Tony clutching onto his shirt. “And I’m not a genius by any means, but even I can figure out that you either need to talk things out with her and fix your relationship or you need to just break up with her.”

Tony whines at Steve’s last suggestion, not liking either option because he knows Bruce well enough that even if he fixes things with Evelyn that those issues won’t stay fixed.

“I know, but I don’t know which one to do…” Bruce laments.

“I think it’s pretty obvious, Bruce.” Steve responds, with a look that matches his words.

“It’s not to me.” Bruce disagrees with a frown that feels permanently etched on his face. “So if you’ve thought it through so easily, what should I do?”

“Break up with her.” Steve states as if he were telling him what to make for dinner.

“Why?” Bruce questions as Tony buries his face in Steve’s chest, focusing on the rhythm of his pacifier bobbing in his mouth.

“You already answered that. You’re not happy, you don’t think she’s happy, and you think she and Wade are a better match.” Steve points out, rubbing Baby Tony’s back.

Steve knows this has to be hard for his baby boy to hear because it is in fact encouraging the end of the little family that he’s had ever since he started age playing. At the same time, he knows that everything will be just fine since Tony already seems to have accepted Wade and Evelyn as a parental unit.

“But how am I supposed to tell her?” Bruce presses, clearly unnerved at the thought.

“Tell her that the break turned into a break up because you think it’s better for everyone involved right now.” Steve simplifies with a shrug. “Just because you aren’t a couple now or for the immediate future, doesn’t mean that you can’t get back together at some point if that’s what you both want.”

Bruce seems to accept his leader’s advice as he nods in understanding with a thoughtful and determined look on his face.

“When do I tell her?” Bruce wonders aloud, looking back to Steve.

“The sooner the better.” Steve suggests.

“Okay, I suppose I’ll go tell her now then.” Bruce agrees, getting to his feet, which are sore from standing in one place for over an hour without moving.

“Did you miss it when I mentioned earlier that she’s missing and I only got my baby boy back because Wade wasn’t about to take him on an Evelyn hunt?” Steve asks, shifting Tony a bit on his lap.

“Oh no… It’s all my fault…” Bruce grieves, sinking back down to his spot on the couch.

“How?”

“After I told her we were taking a break, I sent her away. Wade came up later and told me that she was devastated, sobbing on the floor of the elevator and then she was completely unresponsive by the time he left her to come up here.” Bruce explains.

“You couldn’t have known she was going to react that way, Bruce.” Steve assures him. “Besides, Wade is obviously looking out for her.”

Bruce noticeably cringes at the mention of Wade caring for his now ex-girlfriend. It reminds him a little too well of what the mercenary said to him to that same effect, ‘ _but you’re not there for her right now so she’s settling for me._ ’ The implication was there, that even though Bruce is breaking her apart, Wade’s right there to fix her.

“Why are you cringing?” Steve asks, quirking an eyebrow out of curiosity.

“Wade essentially pointed out that same thing earlier, though it was much more judgmental…” Bruce confesses.

“He’s obviously very protective of her. Did you notice how there was a news report on the decrease of crimes and an increase in the number of criminals caught after Evelyn went missing?”

“No, I didn’t. Why?”

“Because I know for a fact that Deadpool was taking on more ‘gold cards’ during that time. I may not be his biggest fan or anything, but we talk every now then since we’ve both been through some things in the military.” Steve elaborates with an appreciative smile. “Weasel, the bartender at Sister Margaret’s, was the one who told me Wade was trying to find out what happened to her, so he started taking more and more jobs on to question people about Evelyn’s disappearance.”

“Wow, I am truly an awful boyfriend.” Bruce realizes in complete dismay. “Her ex was trying harder to find her than her own boyfriend.”

“To be fair, you knew after a certain point that she was at Shield.” Steve reminds him.

“Still, Wade is a far better match for her than I am… He’s always looking out for her and he can give her what she really wants…”

“What does she really want?”

“A baby.” Bruce whispers, barely able to even talk about it.

While Bruce and Steve continue to talk, Deadpool is getting out of a cab at a peculiar apartment complex on the edge of New York City. He can barely see the outline of the miniature botanical garden on the rooftop. He goes around to the alleyway and uses the fire escape to get up to the roof. After climbing up 25 floors via the metal steps and platforms on the outside of the brick building, he reaches the roof. Looking around, he can tell that she’s not on ‘the ground.’ As he approaches a giant oak tree in the center, the complex’s pride and joy, he sees the cliché carving that had done on the tree back when they still thought they would get married and have their baby. He takes a deep breath and looks up through the winding, sturdy branches. The half of the tree that’s facing the West has all of its branches shaved off to stumps for people to climb and watch the sunset. Towards the top, he can see bare feet dangling from one of the top most horizontal branches. After taking a moment to try and figure out what he’s going to say to her, he hoists himself up. Thankfully, all his time spent dodging bullets and such has left him insanely limber and finds himself accidentally startling the poor fairy girl. She’s quite the sight to see at the moment. Her eyes are red and puffy with tear tracks down her cheeks, but she's wearing a black and purple corset-topped ball gown with a metal backpack that has thin, but sturdy wings attached.

“What are you doing up here crying, beautiful?” Wade asks, settling on the branch next to her and taking his mask off.

“Feeling nostalgic, I suppose…” Evelyn answers with a wistful expression.

“Well, it sounds like things are going to get a lot more nostalgic soon.” He tells her with a sad smile.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“I talked to Bruce after I got you settled in bed- or so I thought.” Wade chuckles, trying to relieve the tension and lighten the mood. “Can’t leave you alone for two seconds.”

“What did Bruce say when you talked to him?” She presses, looking rather desperate.

“You know, I get it.” Wade tells her, side-tracking for a moment. “What you do with Tony and all… I talked with him after he aged up a bit. Told him what I talked about with Bruce and all. He’s a sweet guy, Ev. He kind of fell apart towards the end of our little chat, but what amazed me is that he trusted me to make him feel better… Fuck, he even let himself age down again and called me ‘daddy.’ It’s weird, but… I can’t believe I’m saying this. It’s an amazing feeling to take care of him and make him feel safe.”

There’s a pause as Evelyn considers what he’s saying and what Bruce might’ve said.

“After all, it’s not that often that this fugly mug doesn’t make a baby cry.”

And now everyone in the universe is sure that he’s still Wade Wilson.

“You are such a lying prick.” Evelyn tells him. “You’re not ugly. If you were, I would’ve already gouged my eyes out or something.”

“I’m still not convinced that you have 20/20 vision.” Wade says, holding up one hand and two fingers on another. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Seven, you dweeb.” Evelyn responds, unamused.

“Ha! You are blind!” Wade teases.

“How?!”

“Because only five are fingers, then there’s a pinky and a thumb.”

Wade grins as she starts laughing incredulously.

“You are such a smartass!” Evelyn laughs, being mindful of her strength as she playfully shoves his shoulder.

“But that’s why you love me.” Wade points out with a smirk.

Evelyn stops laughing and her expression becomes one of sorrowful appreciation.

“I do love you…” Evelyn admits, caressing his cheek. “I know that’s part of why Bruce is trying to break up with me. I was so terrified when he said he wanted to take a break that I couldn’t bring myself to admit that we should, at the very least, take a break…”

“When we talked earlier, he kept insisting that you two need to break up completely. I was gunning for you two to work things out because he fixed what I broke…” Wade tells her, guilt pressing in on him. “I told him about Little Vi and all I could think of is how hurt and broken you were…”

{A/N: Little Vi is what Wade and Evelyn called their unborn baby because if they had girl, she would be Viviana after Evelyn or Victor if it was a boy- there’s no real rhyme or reason to the boy’s name though…}

“Oh, Wade… You’re such a marshmallow.” Evelyn teases in a soft, affectionate voice as she scoots closer to him- being mindful of her wings- and rests her head on his shoulder as he winds an arm around her.

“That just means I’m delicious.” Wade jokes, kissing her temple.

“Whatever you say, dear,” Evelyn responds.

They sit in silence as they watch the sun starting to go down. The sky is filled a rainbow of colors as the sun’s glow recedes from the concrete jungle. There’s a few stray birds still trying to find their way back to their nests flitting about in the distance and the sound of their chirping is mingled with the stifled and distant noise of aggressive New York traffic.

“So, Tony calls you Daddy now?” Evelyn questions in a quiet voice.

“Yeah. The munchkin even threw a fit when I tried to hand him off to the American Popsicle so I could come look for you.” Wade affirms. “I guess it helps that I told him about Little Vi and how a part of me has secretly always wanted to try being all domestic and shit with you…”

“That’ll do it…” Evelyn agrees. “His father was a horrible man, smart but cruel and negligent. Mother used to say that Howard was slowly poisoning Tony by slowly breaking him down from the inside out because he did actually hit Tony too, it wasn’t just telling him he was worthless and a black mark on the family…”

“That’s it. I’m calling Cable.”

“Even if you did and you traveled back in time to kill Howard, Tony would still be put through hell because he is a child prodigy. He built his first circuit board when he was four.”

Wade sighs dramatically and groans, “You’re such a fun killer!”

“You’re thinking of my mother, Mister.” Evelyn disagrees.

“Speaking of mothers, don’t you have a sick baby to nurse back to health?” Wade points out.

“That I do. We should definitely get going so that I can get something in him before his bedtime routine.” Evelyn confirms, shifting away from him.

“Nope, you owe me, Miss Pixie.”

Before she can ask what he means, Wade leans in and kisses her slowly and passionately. He breaks away even slower and watches her eyes as they seem to sparkle for the first time since he had last seen her so many months ago. Neither say anything as they get down from the tree, not wanting to ruin any sort of moment they might’ve created with that kiss. Evelyn takes a moment to show off her wings before she takes a hold of him and flies them both back to the tower. By the time they get back, Steve is still with Tony and Bruce in the penthouse. Tony is sound asleep in Steve’s arms while Bruce is pacing the living room with hummingbirds in his stomach from the nervous energy. Evelyn has her wings retracted into the pack and is dreading what awaits them as Wade gently scoots her out of the elevator.

“I hope you were going to a photoshoot…” Steve comments quietly.

In a moment of sheer weakness and feeling of complete hopelessness when Tony was in the hospital with severe alcohol poisoning, Evelyn had gone to the roof in that very same dress and contemplated jumping as it was starting to get dark. Fortunately enough, Steve came up to the roof to look at the stars and maybe get some inspiration for an abstract sketch. He sat her down on the couch back on his floor of the tower and after hours of talking and Evelyn crying, he finally convinced her to never even let herself get that far without finding someone. So naturally, as Steve is seeing her in that dress, he assumes she nearly did something stupid.

“No, just wanted to feel good in a pretty dress.” Evelyn responds, taking a deep breath before she turns to Bruce, feeling Wade’s hand at her lower back to remind her that he’s there for her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said and honestly, I think you’re right about some things. I don’t like the conclusion, but I understand that it’s probably what’s best for us…”

“I guess this is a mutual break up then.” Bruce agrees, visibly relieved. “I don’t want you to feel awkward about interacting with me just because we aren’t together anymore.”

“Oh, please, you know I’m never not awkward.” Evelyn snorts, which makes Bruce smile as he realizes that Steve was right. “Now, I want my baby.”

Steve smiles and hands Baby Tony off to her after she sheds her pack and sets it off to the side. The super soldier nods to Wade and points to the kitchen. Wade frowns but follows him, not wanting any more drama in his life. Once they’re both in the kitchen, Steve turns to Wade and looks him over as he takes of his mask again.

“I know you’ll never do anything to hurt Evelyn on purpose.” Steve starts, crossing his arms over his chest. “But I don’t know that you’ll never try to hurt Tony-”

Wade opens his mouth with a look that screams ‘don’t you dare go there’ as Steve holds his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Though, I trust that you’re smart enough to know what happens if you do and after seeing the way he was with you, I feel fairly confident that you’re not going to hurt him on purpose or not, if you can help it.” Steve finishes.

“Evelyn was just telling me about his punk-ass, know-it-all father while we were out there.  I promise you that if you’re up for some gnarly time travel shit that I can make it happen so we can beat that motherfucker to a pulp.” Wade responds, his grip on his mask tightening.

“I might take you up on that at some point.” Steve chuckles. “I’m going to warn you now, I’m going to show you up as a Daddy. I wasn’t randomly selected, Tony picked me.”

“You’re on, Ice Man.” Wade accepts.

“Why don’t one of you make yourselves useful and make Tony a bottle?” Evelyn suggests as she enters with groggy Baby Tony in her arms.

“Welcome to parenthood, Wilson.” Steve says, patting Wade on the shoulder as he leaves.

Evelyn stares at the doorway for a moment before she turns to Wade, who’s already found one of Tony’s pre-filled bottles and is trying to figure out how the bottle warmer works.

“What was that all about?” Evelyn questions.

“Dad competition.” Wade answers simply, grinning as he turns to her while the bottle warms up.

“I’m so glad I’m female.” Evelyn mutters.

“Except for one week a month.” Wade jokes, making Evelyn take Tony’s bib from the island and toss it at him.

Wade takes the warmed bottle and follows Evelyn back to the living room where she settles in on the cuddler with Baby Tony adjusted to an optimal feeding position on her lap.

“Why don’t you let me take care of him while you go put on some normal clothes?” Wade suggests, setting the bottle on the side table and extending his arms to take Baby Tony.

“Change out of that horrible suit and you’ve got a deal.” Evelyn qualifies, rocking Baby Tony in her arms.

Wade smiles at her and goes to the elevator. Within fifteen minutes, he’s changed and has his duffel bag tossed into the spare bedroom across from Tony’s room. He re-enters the living room and once again extends his arms out to take Baby Tony.

“Okay, cutie, Mama’s gonna have Daddy feed you.” Evelyn narrates as she gently hands Tony over. “Mama will be right back.”

Evelyn gets up as Wade sits down and situates Tony the same way that she did. She covers Tony in with one of his blankets and then leaves. As Wade gently wiggles the soother out of Baby Tony’s mouth, the little starts to cry.

“Hey, now, little mister, settle down.” Wade soothes, picking up the bottle and hold it to the little’s lips. “We’re gonna get the good stuff in ya.”

Baby Tony calms down again as he latches onto the latex spout and starts nursing from it. By the time the little is nearly half way through, Evelyn is coming back out and settling in next to the pair. She gets a warm, fuzzy feeling as she watches Wade sit Tony up for a moment and burp him, making some stupid joke about the little’s burp that actually makes Baby Tony giggle.

“You’re a natural, Mr. Wilson.” Evelyn praises as she runs a hand through her baby’s hair.

“You wanna know what my best-kept secret is?” Wade asks, resituating Baby Tony and slipping the mouthpiece back in the little guy’s mouth.

“Of course, I do.” Evelyn answers.

“I took a bunch of ridiculous parenting classes while you were doing your college courses.”

Evelyn snorts and laughs a bit before she composes herself, only to do it all over again when she sees Wade making an overdramatic pouty face.

“I’m sorry, but I never thought you would be that cheesy parent who would actually go take those classes.” Evelyn breathes, starting to calm down after her laughing fit.

“Not everyone has been raising babies since they were a baby, Missie.” Wade points out with mock hurt.

“Aw, I’m sorry Wadey-poo.” Evelyn apologizes, giving him the puppy dog face. “Forgive your kitten?”

Wade rolls his eyes and smirks, “I guess.”

As Baby Tony finishes his bottle, Wade smiles wholeheartedly for the first time since that picture so many years ago when he was supposed to have his own kid. He sits the little up and burps him once again.

“Yeah, you’re on your way to getting your man card, huh, baby boy?” Wade kids, cradling Baby Tony back in his arms and letting him take the soother back in his mouth.

“No, no man cards for my baby because that means I don’t have a baby, I have a man.” Evelyn jokingly disagrees, tickling Tony and making him giggle.

There’s silence throughout the floor for an uncomfortably long time. After a bit, Tony starts dozing in Wade’s arms, making the mercenary smile. He never thought he would get a second chance to be with Evelyn, but he’s sure this is that very chance.

“So what do you think?” Evelyn murmurs, not wanting to disturb Tony’s slumber.

“About what, Miss Pixie?” Wade asks in an equally quiet voice.

“Being a Daddy.” Evelyn answers, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I like it just fine…”

“But?”

“But I wish I was Little Vi’s Daddy...” Wade confesses. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m already insanely happy to be Tony’s Daddy, but… I’ll always wonder about Little Vi.”

“I know. I wonder too. I just take comfort that even if I never have my own kids, I’ll always have my Baby Tony.” Evelyn agrees. “Though, I’m not opposed to trying again…”

“We’re not even going there until we talk to Tony. He’s the baby right now and it’s not fair to leave him out of such a huge decision.” Wade tells her.

“You’re one of the best Daddies a baby could want.” Evelyn whispers, kissing his cheek.

 _So this is what it’s like to belong… To love and be loved…?_ Wade thinks as he looks between Baby Tony and Evelyn.

“ _Oh, Florida, please be still tonight Don't disturb this love of mine Look how she's so serene You've gotta help me out And count the stars to form the lines And find the words we'll sing in time I wanna keep her dreaming It's my one wish I won't forget this I'm outdated, overrated Morning seems so far away So I'll sing a melody An hope to God she's listening Sleeping softly while I sing And I'll be your memories Your lullaby for all the times Hoping that my voice could get it right If luck is on my side tonight My clumsy tongue will make it right And wrists that touch It isn't much but it's enough To form imaginary lines Forget your scars We'll forget mine The hours change so fast Oh, God, please make this last 'Cause I'm outdated, overrated Morning seems so far away… You could crush me Please don't crush me 'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure And I won't let you down I swear this time I mean it And I'll sing a melody And hope to God she's listening Sleeping softly while I sing And I'll be your memories Your lullaby for all the times Hoping that my voice could get it right_ ” –Mayday Parade, “I Swear This Time I Mean It”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? Should Evelyn and Wade try to have a baby? What about Tony's thoughts and feelings? 
> 
> Let me know what you guys are thinking! Comments and Kudos are always welcome and appreciated.


	18. The Photograph That Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony cuddles up to Wade, Steve makes another huge mistake and Tony blames himself when Wade breaks Evelyn's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much ChiriLokisdottir, howlingwolffate, dashing_cupcake for your comments! It was really encouraging to read your responses to this piece and receive the kind of understanding after the bullshit that idiot put me through. 
> 
> YAY! An actual chapter is being posted this time! Ha ha!

“ _Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes your risin' sun so new? I could use a fresh beginning too But all of my regrets are nothing new So this is a way, that I say I need you This is a way, this is a way That I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to crawl I'm finding that you, and you alone can break my fall I'm living again, awake and alive I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies Hello, good morning, how you been? Yesterday left my head kicked in I never, never thought that I would fall like that Never knew that I could hurt this bad I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to crawl I'm finding that you, and you alone can break my fall I'm living again, awake and alive I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies… This is a way that I say I need you This is a way that I say I love you This is a way that I say I'm yours…”_ –Switchfoot, “Learning to Breathe”

Tony wakes up early the next morning in his favorite bodysuit- one that’s printed to look like a red tee shirt tucked into shorts with little suspenders and a tiny tie on the front. Tony giggles and clumsily claps his hands. Unfortunately, not all of his clothes are pleasant, namely his overly used diaper. After seeing that Wade really cares about him and likes his new place in the group, Tony feels a bit more comfortable aging up- just a little bit. As his adult brain processes it, he estimates he’s probably more in a toddler mood for the day. His caregivers had been doing pretty well for helping him get through the flu, it turned out to be a 24-hour virus if the way he feels today is any indication. Tony wiggles about a bit, managing to roll to his side and sit up from there. He sucks on his soother as he looks at his sleeping guardians. Mama wore a huge tee shirt to bed last night and Daddy wore a tee shirt and probably some ‘jama pants. After a minute or so, Tony starts to feel uncomfortable in his soiled diaper, but he doesn’t know who to wake up. He guesses Daddy since Mama had a bad day and Daddy seemed fine when he wasn’t worried about him or Mama. Tony crawls over to Daddy and pokes his nose, giggling when the agitated appendage twitches in response. He pokes his Daddy’s nose again.

“Dada!” Tony says, poking the man’s cheek. “Uppy!”

“Wha?’ Wade groans, trying to piece together what’s going on and where he is again.

“Dada!” Tony cheers around his pacifier, clapping his hands. “Dada uppy!”

“Morning to you too, baby.” Wade chuckles rubbing his eyes and sitting up in bed, only to end up with a lap full Baby Tony. “You okay, baby?”

“Ucky!” Tony whines, wiggling his hips as diaper squished uncomfortably against him.

“What’s gross, little guy?” Wade asks, wrapping his arms around his little.

“Diapy…” Tony mumbles, flushing as he sucks on his pacifier in a quicker rhythm.

“Oh, okay. C’mon.” Wade yawns, holding Tony close as he gets up off the bed and heads to the nursery.

Once in the nursery, Wade changes Tony just like Evelyn showed him the night before. After securing the snaps at the crotch of the short-sleeved body suit, Wade takes Baby Tony back in his arms and carries him out to the living room.

“Do you wanna play or does Daddy need to make you a bottle?” Wade asks, fighting a yawn as he runs his fingers through the little’s messy, fluffy locks.

“Baba…” Tony declares around his pacifier, confused by Wade setting him down on the play mat. “Dada?”

“What, baby?” Wade asks, settling toys, plushies, and a blanket around Baby Tony while JARVIS automatically cues up Home on the TV.

Baby Tony babbles nonsense at the mercenary, trying to ask what his Daddy is doing. When he quiets down again, Wade offers him his fallen soother, kisses his temple, and starts towards the kitchen. The Merc with the Mouth cringes and turns around as his infantile genius starts bawling loudly. Wade rushes back to Baby Tony and takes the little in his arms, soothing him every way he knows how from the over-the-top parenting classes he took in preparation for Little Vi. Tony calms down a bit, realizing that Daddy isn’t going anywhere without him but fusses as he sees his favorite pacifier is still on the ground. Evelyn comes out just in time to see Wade bend over, pick up the soother, put it in his own mouth to clean off the germs with his saliva and slip it into Baby Tony’s mouth.

“You are adorable.” Evelyn croaks, her voice deep and inconsistent from sleep.

“We try.” Wade grins, kissing her as she comes over to them.

“How old are we today, baby boy?” Evelyn asks, running her fingers through Tony’s hair.

Baby Tony plays around with his fingers a bit, trying to hold up the number he thinks is right until he has just two fingers held up for his Mama and Daddy to see.

“Very good, baby!” Evelyn praises, making Tony giggle and snuggle closer to Wade. “So what was all the fuss about this mornin’?”

“I set a certain someone down to play so I could make him a bottle and he decided he didn’t like that plan.” Wade answers, tickling Tony’s side which makes the little giggle and blush.

“He has severe separation anxiety,” Evelyn explains in a quiet voice. “He’s deathly afraid to be alone and he’s also very cuddle-oriented in the mornings after he wakes up.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Wade replies, settling in on the cuddler. “Did you want to watch anything in particular?”

“Actually, yeah. JARVIS, put on the news for us, please.” Evelyn responds.

The movie pauses and it switches over to the TV. Wade immediately turns Baby Tony to face him and straddle his lap. Evelyn stands frozen still, her anger radiating off her in waves. The media has not only been attacking her, Shield and Nick Fury, but they’ve tacked Tony’s age play back into the story, claiming that Shield is just up to no good and turning from a protection agency to a freak factory since, according to all they know, the majority of people working for Shield were never as strange as they are now before becoming a part of the agency.

“JARVIS, I want everyone up here, now!” Evelyn demands, her movements eerily calm and precise as she stalks off to the kitchen to make a bottle for her baby.

Tony looks to where his Mama was just standing and frowns as he turns back towards his Daddy. He wants his Daddy to tell him it’s okay and why Mama’s not happy. His eyes water as his lip trembles behind his pacifier.

“It’s okay, baby boy. Mama’s not mad at you. She’s mad at the bullies that keep saying mean things about all of us.” Wade soothes, cradling Tony’s head in his hand and holding the little to his chest. “I think Mama just needs to have some time away with us.”

Wade knows exactly what needs to happen- they need to find Sutherland and have a press conference with the Hydra scum while Deadpool and Black Widow flank the Scottish bastard to make sure he fesses up to everything- but he would rather just go to some private escape on a desolate island and protect his newfound family from all the bullshit the world is insistent on throwing at them. At the same time, he knows the Avengers are going to be in as much trouble as Shield since this means that Hydra’s essentially infiltrated the organization and the Avengers are an extension of it…

 As Evelyn reemerges, she’s a bit calmer. She hands the bottle off to Wade and lets him take care of feeding Tony. Evelyn starts pacing the living room, waiting for everyone to haul their asses upstairs. When they finally get to the penthouse, Evelyn sees the reason for the delay in the form of Nick Fury. She’s confident that she would have heard his obnoxiously loud thoughts if she wasn’t trying to hold back on all of her abilities- if she’s honest with herself, they’re perfectly fine to have when necessary, but overall they’re just annoying as all hell.

“Well, now I won’t have to hunt you down.” Evelyn remarks, crossing her arms over her chest. “I take Thor’s still in Asgard?”

Just as she asks, the building reverberates from being struck and thunder crashes in the distance. Tony spits the nipple of the bottle out and cries, spitting up all over himself. Wade sighs and heaves himself out of the cuddler with Tony cradled to his chest. Before he can escape to the kitchen to get Tony cleaned up, Nick Fury speaks up.

“Wade fucking Wilson. Just how in the hell did they get you wrapped up in this?” Fury demands, more curious than anything.

“Language!” Steve and Evelyn scold, both glaring at the Director.

“That’s mine now.” Wade answers simply, gesturing to Evelyn who’s wearing nothing but an oversized and a rather see-through raglan tee that shows her floral violet bra and panties.

“Does someone care to explain what’s going on here?” Fury pushes. “Last I checked, Banner and Parish were an item both in the public eye and not.”

“We broke up for personal reasons, stop being nosy. I called in Wade to help us hunt down Peter Sutherland. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get anything done since I’ve needed to be home to take care of Tony and Clint is in his headspace as well. On the bright side, Thor is back, but he also has Loki who is of the same mindset as Tony, though thankfully doesn’t have the flu to my knowledge.”

Just as Evelyn finishes her explanation, the elevator door chimes and opens to reveal Thor carrying a very little Loki. The God of Thunder enters so quietly that everyone’s sure something is wrong until Evelyn gives him a tense but understanding smile. Wade takes advantage of the moment and takes Baby Tony, who’s still crying, to the kitchen to get cleaned up and calmed down.

“Is he asleep, love?” Evelyn asks in a quieter voice as Thor comes closer with a sizeable bag hanging from his shoulder.

“Yes, Lady Evelyn,” Thor answers in a voice so quiet everyone is astonished. “He sleeps well during travel, even between realms.”

“Well, little ones do tend to sleep the best on the go.” Evelyn agrees, feeling awful as she sees Wade re-enter with Tony, who immediately starts bawling at the sight of Loki. “That’s on you, dear.”

Loki awakens to the loud noises and starts crying loudly as well. Clint, either feeling left out or just generally unhappy with his situation, joins in the cry-fest too. Despite feeling terrible about all of the littles crying, Evelyn loses it and starts laughing uncontrollably as Fury looks absolutely miserable and incredibly pissed but clearly knows that Evelyn will kill him for even looking at her baby wrong. Wade is confused and exasperated with the situation, but after seeing what Evelyn’s laughing at, even he joins in. Everyone else is looking at the two laughing caregivers as if they were a strange new species that doesn’t understand what’s appropriate and not. Which, if Wade and Evelyn are honest, is mostly accurate since they’re both mutants with horrible senses of humor.

“Steve, could you?” Evelyn gasps out, finally coming off of her laughing high and nudging Wade to get him to stop too.

“I would love to.” Steve agrees wholeheartedly, taking Tony from Wade and carrying him off to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Tony starts to calm down a bit and snuggle into Steve. As the two listen, they hear things calm down in the living room. Steve straps Baby Tony into his highchair and situates it by the counter next to the stove like Evelyn normally does. He pulls together ingredients and all the necessary items to make a breakfast consisting of Evelyn’s strawberry-banana mix, scrambled eggs, and waffles. Once he gets everything going, he turns back to Baby Tony, who’s sucking on his fingers.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, Daddy forgot your paci, huh?” Steve apologizes, trying to decide how to rectify the situation as he agitates the eggs.

Before he can come to a conclusion, Wade slips into the kitchen with Tony’s unfinished bottle and discarded soother. The mercenary has a smug smile firmly in place as he allows Tony to take the bottle and start nursing from it as Steve turns to see the two. Just to rub it in, Wade kisses Tony’s temple and runs his fingers through Baby Tony’s messy brown locks as Tony coos.

“Thanks, Wilson,” Steve responds flatly, rolling his eyes as he maneuvers to put a bib on his baby boy.

“Just for the record, I’m pretty sure I’m winning.” Wade remarks.

“WILSON!” Fury booms from the living room.

“Still winning?” Steve questions with a quirked eyebrow and a smirk as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Your eggs are gonna burn, Ice Man,” Wade comments before going back to the living room.

Sure enough, the scrambled eggs are already starting to get a bit brown instead of staying their same yellow- golden color. Steve groans and quickly shifts the eggs around in the pan before transferring the cooked waffle on the iron to a platter and pouring more batter into the grooves. Once the eggs are done and there're a dozen waffles already made, Steve is pulled out of his cooking zone when Tony tosses his empty bottle on the floor.

“Tony, no-no.” Steve gently scolds, picking the bottle up and handing it back to his baby. “Now, get Daddy’s attention and hand it to Daddy.”

As soon as Steve turns back to the banana he was starting to peel before, Tony throws his bottle on the floor again and whines. Steve repeats himself as he hands the bottle back to Tony again. This repeats several times before Steve finally loses his patience. He takes the cooked waffle from the iron and turns the device off, making sure nothing is at risk being burned or set on fire. Unfortunately, no one really explained how to properly discipline a baby like Tony…

“Anthony Edward Stark!” Steve nearly shouts, smacking Tony’s hands just enough to get his point across without leaving (much of) a mark. “You do not throw things! And when Daddy tells you to do things and how, Daddy expects you to do them the way he said.”

Baby Tony’s eyes water and his lip trembles as his pacifier falls onto the tray of his highchair. Before Steve can properly register exactly what’s happened and soothe his baby, Baby Tony starts wailing and Wade comes dashing in with the others, including Nick Fury, following behind him.

“What did you do, Rogers?” Wade fumes, practically breaking the high chair in his rushed attempt to take the infantile genius in his arms.

“He was throwing things and I tried to teach him the right thing to do, but he refused to do what I asked so I scolded him,” Steve explains, feeling awful as even Fury gives him a look that screams ‘what the fuck’ as Wade cradles Tony in his arms.

“Then what are the marks on the backs of his hands from?” Wade demands, kissing the pink-tinted areas on the backs of the little’s hands as Evelyn approaches to take a look.

“Let Mama see, angel.” Evelyn coaxes, gently taking one of Baby Tony’s hands in hers. “Why the heck did you smack the back of his hands, Steve?!”

“What about having been tortured and beaten made you think that physically punishing him was a good idea, Steve?” Bruce questions, looking completely baffled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt him or upset him, but I didn’t know what else to do.” Steve apologizes miserably.

“Next time something happens where you’re not sure what to do, you call one of us,” Evelyn tells him, gesturing to herself, Bruce, and Wade.

Ouch, even Wade knows what to do and he’s only been Daddy for a day. Steve really feels the sting of the situation at the thought that Wade was right. Maybe he is in over his head to think that he can be a father at all, especially to Tony… Steve hangs his head as his eyes start to water and his breath hitches as he fights the urge to breakdown. He was supposed to be the one holding his baby after someone else fucked up, not the other way around. He can hear Tony hiccupping in Wade’s arms though it’s muffled which he can only assume that the little guy has his face buried in the mercenary’s neck.

“Guys, calm down. He obviously didn’t know what to do and none of you can say that you’ve never done the same thing or something similar.” Natasha defends, approaching their heartbroken Captain and rubbing his back.

“Natasha’s right,” Evelyn agrees with a sigh. “I’m sorry that we all ganged up on you, Steve. We’re just really overprotective of him and we should’ve talked to you about this before. Tony doesn’t usually act up, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have prepared you to deal with him if he did.”

Evelyn crosses the kitchen and hugs Steve, knowing he needs some positive touch in his life almost as much Tony and the other littles of the Tower. Steve hugs her back, sniffing back his tears and smiling sadly as she uses the sleeve of her oversized tee to dry his eyes with.

“I’d apologize, but it’s not like I won’t keep doing it.” Evelyn jokes as he eyes her sleeve in surprise. “I’m a mommy by nature, it’s what I was born to do and just because you’re not a child in body or mind doesn’t mean I won’t still baby you.”

Steve chuckles, hugging her again. As they break apart, Evelyn pulls him over to Tony.

“Baby, Daddy’s real sorry for what he did. He didn’t know any better.” Evelyn coos at the little in her boyfriend’s arms. “Will you come up for air so Daddy can say sorry and give you hugs and kisses?”

Tony whimpers and shakes his head, still hiding his face in the curvature of his newer Daddy’s neck.

“I promise you don’t have to leave Dada if you just lean away long enough for Daddy to say sorry. He’s got your paci…” Evelyn coaxes, relieved when Tony finally starts to pull away as Steve quickly grabs the pacifier from the floor and approaches the trio while the others watch in silence.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Steve apologizes in a quiet voice as he looks his baby in the eye. “Daddy was such a meanie and he shouldn’t have been. Can you forgive Daddy?”

Tony’s silent and still for a moment, making both Steve and Evelyn worry for a minute that the little won’t forgive his original Daddy. After a moment, Tony nods. Steve showers the little guy in kisses and gentle but tight hug. Baby Tony opens his mouth and whines, waiting to get his pacifier back. As Steve tries to put the soother in the little’s mouth, Wade intercepts, sticking it in his mouth as he had done the first time it hit the floor and then slipping it into their baby’s mouth. He looks back at the others to see them, except for Evelyn and Amelia, looking at him in complete confusion.

“What? It was on the floor and the American Popsicle certainly wasn’t going to fix it. It’s a go-to parenting move since an adult’s saliva can handle the germs better than a baby’s.” Wade defends, feeling less tense as Tony coos and snuggles back into the crook of his neck. “At least Baby Tony appreciates my foresight.”

“Let’s rewind for a moment, Mr. Avocado,” Amelia speaks up, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re right about that little trick. I used to do it myself with Tony when I was his nanny. What I think we all want to know is how in the world you know that? How are you not a complete imbecile when it comes to childcare?”

Wade’s expression instantly hardens to a more defensive expression, not at all eager to rehash the same story he’s told at least twice now. He’s the Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool, and just a general badass playboy (okay so maybe he doesn’t get as much action now that he’s horribly disfigured and Vanessa’s not in the picture). Evelyn rests a hand on his arm and gives him a supportive look.

“Because I got Evelyn pregnant years ago and I didn’t want her to worry about being the only one to watch Little Vi, so I took a bunch of lame parenting classes to compensate for idiocy,” Wade explains with a sharp edge to his tone.

“And where is my grandbaby?” Amelia questions, ignoring the attitude in his response.

“Daddy made me get an abortion. Said he didn’t want me bein’ with Wade and that you were probably rollin’ in your grave as we told him about Baby Vi.” Evelyn answers, clearly still disheartened about it all despite all the years that have passed since then.

“If I could smack your Daddy, I would. When you first started seein’ _him_ , I told your Daddy that I knew you two would try to take things too fast but that if ya did, I wanted it all wholeheartedly- even if I had to house train him.” Amelia tells her, crossing the kitchen and embracing her daughter. “Your Daddy may have done what he thought was right for you, and maybe it was right for you, but he certainly wasn’t speakin’ for me… How did ya tell him?”

Wade pulls the picture out of his wallet on the island counter and hands it over to his girlfriend’s mother. She looks over the picture, keeping an arm around Evelyn as he daughter wraps her arms around her mother’s waist.

“Oh, baby girl… Your Daddy sure as hell wasn’t speakin’ for me with a smile like that your face…” Amelia laments, looking closely at the pride and love written all over the mercenary’s face in the picture. “Wade, I’m sorry I’ve been hard on ya. I just can’t take anyone breakin’ my baby girl’s heart, especially, after all I’ve already put her through. I thank ya kindly for keepin’ her together.”

“Your welcome, but I did it because I care about her. Evelyn didn’t mention it, but we were also getting engaged at the time and were even going to get married… I know I’m not a good guy and that doesn’t bother me, but what I don’t know is how your husband couldn’t see that I was going to do right by your daughter.” Wade responds, swaying as Tony starts to doze while Steve rubs the little guy’s back. “I’m not leaving her this time unless she really wants me gone.”

Before anyone else can say anything, Nick Fury clears his throat.

“While you all were having a moment, the media’s been planning their next verbal attack on all of us. If you had any sense in your dense little heads, we’d resolve this issue now so I can get the hell out of here and start coordinating with Potts.” Fury snaps, making all three littles cringe and cuddle into their caregivers.

“For the love of the earth, Fury!” Wade groans, gently tightening his grip on Baby Tony. “Evelyn, Natasha, Amelia and I will hunt down Sutherland while the rest stay home with the babies. Simple as that.”

“And what makes you think that’s appropriate course of action? What about actually handling the media?” Fury presses not seeing the ‘genius’ of the mercenary’s plan.

“Because at least two of us can take a serious beating and still live through it and all four of us are seriously bad-a,” Wade states like it’s obvious. “As for the media, Ms. Poison Spider and I will force a confession out of him on live television then it’ll all be over and we can all go on vacation until the next pompous dumb ‘butt’ decides to mess with the wrong weird family.”

Everyone’s silent and when Fury looks at all of them, he’s surprised that none of them have any objections to all of this, especially Tony and Clint, who were the original and primary targets of the public humiliation campaign of the media’s design. Instead of arguing, he falls back on his usual plan with the Avengers, let them handle it until the slightest hint of a fuck-up when he’ll send in Shield’s best agents to seal the deal before it can all go to hell.

“I expect you to execute it the first time and if you screw up, I’m sending in more competent agents to do your job for you.” Fury reluctantly agrees, before taking his leave and getting into the elevator.

Really, he can’t help but wonder about the team he’s put together. Parish and Banner breaking up is definitely a new one. Stark being infantile is beyond of absurd and questionable, but now Clint is in ‘a headspace’ and Loki is back on Earth and also an infantile. On top of that, Jarvis and Sutherland had an extremely minor fling. Parish and Wilson are hooking up and used to have a baby that they were forced to abort… Sometimes Fury can’t help but feel like the universe is fucking with him just to see how long he can last. If this gets any more ridiculous, he just might have an aneurism.

At the edge of town, a red head looks over the pictures saved to his primitive cell phone, wishing he’d never met the widowed porcelain doll that appears in most of them. He never wanted to hurt her, but in order to his job, he had to hurt the people around her, indirectly causing her unnecessary pain. He watches the clouds cover the sun and sighs. If he wasn’t on Hydra’s most wanted list, he would make everything right and tell them to go fuck themselves.

Back at the tower, everyone has just finished eating breakfast, mostly in silence. They work together to get the pans and waffle iron clean as well as getting the dishes into the dishwasher. Thor and Evelyn take turns making bottles for their charges and finally everyone gets settled in the living room to talk more about the plan and when the four will head out. There isn’t much to say, but it’s decided that since it’s almost the weekend and none of them have anything going on, they’ll wait until Monday so that Tony can get acclimated to being with Steve, whether he stays little or not. Before anyone can even think about dispersing to get ready for the weekend and the upcoming mission, Amelia calls Wade out.

“What’s wrong, Wilson?” Amelia asks, pinning him with her gaze.

Wade hasn’t made a single smartass comment or even lightened up since he had to tell her that her only potential grandchild was conceived and aborted before she was even aware that she was still alive.

“I just need to talk to Evelyn and Tony about what’s going to be happening.” Wade dismisses, shaking his head as he looks up at her somberly.

“Well, you should probably do it now before he falls asleep,” Evelyn says, patting the tiny genius’s back to coax any rogue air bubbles out of his stomach. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.”

“I would prefer it to just be the three of us.” Wade points out, giving her a pointed look.

“It’s fine, it’s not like they won’t hear about it later.” Evelyn disagrees, clearly not understanding. “Go ahead.”

Wade screams internally and sighs outwardly. He really doesn’t want an audience for this conversation. He knows it could do as much damage as what he wants to do, but he wants to talk to them about it anyway- and 'them' only encompasses Evelyn and Tony.

“I wanted to talk to you and Tony about us having a baby potentially sometime…” Wade says, barely loud enough for any of them to hear.

“Oh, Wade…” Evelyn breathes, touched and relieved. “I was wanting to talk to you about the same thing.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, I really want to try again… you know, to have our Little Vi…” Evelyn responds, noticing a shift in Tony’s eyes as the man pulls back to look at her.

“Oh…” Wade replies, feeling horrible.

 He was going to say that they should actually make sure they couldn’t conceive. He felt content having Tony as their baby and they could still have a break whenever Tony ages up so it’s all a win. Especially since they still have Steve and Bruce to help them out with Tony. It wouldn’t be so simple with a legit newborn and they don’t have the luxury of just staying home with a developing child all the time.

“Well, this is awkward…” Natasha comments, getting to her feet. “Anybody wanna have a sparring session on the training floor?”

“I’ve actually got some things to do back in the lab.” Bruce excuses himself, immediately making his way to the elevator.

The scientist never thought she would get over him so fast or rush right back into to trying to have a baby. Moreover, it doesn’t sound like that’s the same idea that Wade had.

“It’s okay, Wade. I’m really happy for you two and if you guys wanna have a kid, that’s great and I totally get it.” Tony tells them, looking anything but happy for them.

Phil gets to his feet, taking Clint’s hand and hissing at Thor to grab Loki and the little’s bag as they head towards the elevator. Natasha and Amelia follow closely behind.

“Tony, baby, I’m gonna be on my floor if you need. Just have JARVIS tell me to come up if you need me.” Steve whispers as he leans in to kiss Tony’s cheek.

The little nods with a weak smile as he and his pseudo-parents watch the elevator doors close.

“No, Tony, I actually don’t want a baby. You are our baby.” Wade sighs, already feeling horrible about having to crush Evelyn’s hopes and dreams of having a natural family.

“I thought you just wanted to wait until Tony was ready to age up and talk about it…” Evelyn murmurs, clearly devastated.

“I thought I might, but Ev, we can’t have a baby this late in our lives, not when we’re both out fighting evil geniuses and taking care of everyone in this Tower in our downtime.” Wade reminds her. “Plus, to be honest, I don’t want us to end up like you and Bruce, where our relationship goes to shit because I can’t get you pregnant or you can’t hold a pregnancy like you could back when we had Little Vi.”

There're nearly ten minutes of silence before Tony climbs off Evelyn’s lap and just stands there in his diaper and bodysuit as she gives him an appreciative smile. Evelyn hauls herself up and goes to the bedroom. When she emerges shortly after, she’s wearing the special issue suit from Shield with her Phoenix pack on.

“I’m going out for some air. I’ll be back soon.” She notifies them in a hollow voice, kissing Tony’s forehead.

After she leaves in the elevator, Wade looks back to Tony. The smaller man seems to get dizzy before falling back onto his bum and sobbing hopelessly into his hands.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Wade soothes, getting up and hoisting Tony onto his hip. “How about we grab some stuff and then we’ll go get Captain Daddy. Then we can have a Daddy and Baby night in together?”

Tony doesn’t respond, seeming to have rapidly fallen back down to his headspace. Wade sighs sadly and starts rounding up the things he plans to drag down to Steve’s floor. Tony thought he would be relieved if Mama and Daddy Wade weren’t going to have a baby so he could continue to fill that role. But now, Evelyn’s still not happy and all he wants is for her to be happy again like she was before things with Papa started getting bad, before she was turned into a mutant like Daddy Wade… It turns out nothing can really make her happy anymore…

“ _Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes But it's the only thing that I know When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes It is the only thing that makes us feel alive We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen still So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul And it's the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier, Remember that with every piece of you Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die Hm, we keep this love in this photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts were never broken And time's forever frozen still So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone And if you hurt me That's okay baby, only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won't ever let you go Wait for me to come home… You can fit me Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen Next to your heartbeat where I should be Keep it deep within your soul And if you hurt me Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won't ever let you go When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me Under the lamppost back on Sixth street Hearing you whisper through the phone, "Wait for me to come home."”_ –Ed Sheeran, “Photograph”


	19. Two Daddies and a Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade goes to Steve for a chat about what's going on and Tony ages up, finding that he really appreciates his newfound daddies more than he thought he would.

“… _I thought I could live in your arms And spend every moment I had with you Stay up all night with the stars Confess all the faith that I had in you I had in you Too late, I'm sure and lonely Another night, another dream wasted on you Just be here now against me You know the words so sing along for me baby For heaven's sake I know you're sorry But you won't stop crying This anniversary may never be the same Inside I hope you know I'm dying With my heart beside me In shattered pieces that may never be replaced And if I died right now you'd never be the same… And moonlight would provide the spark And that I would stumble across the key Or break down the door to your heart Forever could see us not you and me And you'd help me out of the dark And I'd give my heart as an offering an offering… And I will always remember you as, you are right now to me And I will always remember you now, remember you now So sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side… I can't forget you I know you want me to want you I want to But I can't forget you So when this is over don't blow your composure baby I can't forget you I know you want me to want you I want to But I can't forget you So when this is over don't blow your composure baby I can't forget you I know you want me to want you I want to…”_ –Mayday Parade, “Three Cheers for Five Years”

As the elevator doors open to Steve’s floor, the super soldier looks up from his sketchpad to a sight he knows he’ll never forget, but that part of him wishes he could. Wade has Tony swaddled in a blanket like a proper infant and cradled in his arms just as delicately. The poor mercenary looks like he’s on the verge of tears as he rocks the sobbing little in his arms. Steve hadn’t expected the baby-making discussion to go well, but he still isn’t prepared for the results and he realizes that it’s going to be a long night as he sees Wade’s duffel and a large bin with Baby Tony’s necessities and favorite things.

“Come on out of there.” Steve coaxes in a quiet voice as he drags the bin with Wade’s duffel bag on top and rests a hand on Wade’s lower back to guide him over to the sofas in the living room.

“He’s so upset…” Wade breathes, clearly trying to be the tough badass he’s known as and failing miserably.

“What happened?” Steve asks, settling on the couch with Wade and Baby Tony.

“JARVIS?” Wade pleads, looking hopelessly to the ceiling.

“Of course, Master Wilson,” JARVIS responds, queuing up the security footage.

{A/N: Again the italicized section reiterates a part you have read that I inserted to remind you what happened and also to further set the tone and show what they’re watching rather than tell- you can skip it if you like}

_The little nods with a weak smile as he and his pseudo-parents watch the elevator doors close._

_“No, Tony, I actually don’t want a baby. You are our baby.” Wade sighs._

_“I thought you just wanted to wait until Tony was ready to age up and talk about it…” Evelyn murmurs, clearly devastated._

_“I thought I might, but Ev, we can’t have a baby this late in our lives, not when we’re both out fighting evil geniuses and taking care of everyone in this Tower in our downtime.” Wade reminds her. “Plus, to be honest, I don’t want us to end up like you and Bruce, where our relationship goes to shit because I can’t get you pregnant or you can’t hold a pregnancy like you could back when we had Little Vi.”_

_Nearly ten minutes of silence ensue before Tony climbs off Evelyn’s lap and just stands there in his diaper and bodysuit as she gives him an appreciative smile. Evelyn hauls herself up and goes to the bedroom. When she emerges shortly after, she’s wearing the special issue suit from Shield with her Phoenix pack on._

_“I’m going out for some air. I’ll be back soon.” She notifies them in a hollow voice, kissing Tony’s forehead._

_After she leaves in the elevator, Wade looks back to Tony. The smaller man seems to get dizzy before falling back onto his bum and sobbing hopelessly into his hands._

_“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Wade soothes, getting up and hoisting Tony onto his hip. “How about we grab some stuff and then we’ll go get Captain Daddy. Then we can have a Daddy and Baby night in together?”_

_Tony doesn’t respond, seeming to have rapidly fallen back down to his headspace. Wade sighs sadly and starts rounding up the things he plans to drag down to Steve’s floor._

“She took it that hard, huh?” Steve comments, not really sure what’s appropriate to say in a situation like this.

“I think… I think he tried to hurt himself…” Wade confides in a quiet voice, rocking Baby Tony, who has cried himself to sleep. “That’s why I swaddled him… That stupid parenting class said that it calms babies to swaddle them and protects them from themselves.”

“You did the right thing, Wade, and I really appreciate that you’ve come down here to let me help.” Steve praises, placing a hand on the mercenary’s shoulder.

“Well, you’re the only one he consistently loves that’s still around.” Wade excuses, not comfortable with the positive reinforcement- something he’s never really had before.

“I haven’t been Daddy much longer than you, honestly.” Steve dismisses.

“No, Ice Man, he _loves ­_ you!” Wade reiterates, amazed that so many of the Avengers are so dense. “Tony, as a big boy with big boy feelings and wants, loves Steve, his peer.”

Steve flushes in embarrassment and looks at his hands splayed out on his lap. He’s always thought himself straight in the past, but upon entering the 21st century, he had to admit that some of the men are fairly attractive. Even with that admittance that he might go both ways, which he supposes would make him what the sexuality sites like JASMYN and others that he stumbled across would call bisexual, but when it comes to Tony, well, he can’t say he’s never thought the man to be handsome but there’s no way in any realm that he’ll ever admit that he likes the inventor that way. As he looks up from his hands to see Wade’s face, he can tell the mercenary is not amused or even in the mood to poke fun at him for denying his crush on the supposed playboy.

“Seriously, Rogers, I don’t give a fuck if you do like him back or not because I’ve got my own damn problems,” Wade says in a quiet voice, automatically covering Tony’s exposed left ear to prevent the ‘inappropriate language’ from invading the little’s dreams.

“Right, sorry.” Steve apologizes sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “So what are you going to do about all this? Have you had time to think about it?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking that as soon as the Scottish fuckwad goes live about setting Shield up to look like a freak factory for Hydra, I’m gonna turn the fucker into a sushi kabob and incinerate his ass for good measure. After that, we’re all going on vacation to some deserted island where no one will bother us and the little guys can be little and the rest of us can take shifts taking care of them and whoever isn’t on tiny tot duty is getting drunk off their ass.” Wade explains, unconsciously holding Tony a little bit closer.

“What happens if Evelyn’s still not okay by the time we fix the issue with Sutherland?” Steve asks, hating to be the one to bring it up.

“She’ll be okay…” Wade replies, his voice getting a little higher as if it were a question instead of a statement. “She loves Tony and me too much to drag out whatever’s going through her head.”

“What if she just pushes it down and tries to pretend like it doesn’t bother her?”

“Then someone’s going to stay with Tony while I corner her and make her talk about it until we work something out.”

There’s a long pause as Steve considers Wade’s horrible strategy. He knows that Evelyn’s every bit as stubborn as Tony and Wade, so maybe it is the best strategy to employ. There is one question that’s nagging at him, though…

“What’s the real reason you didn’t want to have a baby with Evelyn?” Steve gently presses, his voice quiet and soft like a summer breeze in the park.

Wade doesn’t look up from watching Tony sleep, slipping a pacifier in his baby boy’s mouth. He knows that, at least for now, Tony’s going to stray away from age play and probably even fight his headspace. He may not have always been buddy-buddy with the genius, but he’s known him long enough to know that the man doesn’t like to be a burden to anyone and will do whatever it takes to make everyone happy- whether he’ll ever admit it as his goal or not. Wade always knew about Tony’s fears and some of his other little secrets, though he didn’t know how they played into the man’s behaviors until Evelyn explained them. Unfortunately, Evelyn’s nearly undone everything she’s worked so hard to accomplish and Wade will be damned if anyone thinks he’s just going to sit on the sidelines like Howard and Maria and let it all go to hell.

“You know, Tony and I have been friends for a few years now…” Wade responds, ignoring Steve’s direct question. “Longer than you’ve even known him. He never knew about how I got Evelyn pregnant until the night that Ev and Banner broke up. He probably started taking pity on me after she left me only because he didn’t know about Little Vi back then. If he knew when it happened, he probably would’ve murdered me…”

Steve doesn’t say anything. He’s too curious about where Wade’s taking this.

“Granted, even after he opened up to me, he never told me about the age play thing with Ev. Part of me always saw him as a kid and I guess that’s why it didn’t- still doesn’t- bother me that he’s into age play. I’m not about to ruin all the good that age playing has done for him.” Wade continues with an unenthused shrug. “It’s not fair to make Tony live through the same bullshit that he already has just because Evelyn and I think we want a baby. He’s already had to lose the focus of his caregivers to a baby before, twice over, in fact, he doesn’t need that again. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“You’re right, he doesn’t.” Steve agrees, feeling a new appreciation for the mutant for hire. “But that’s not all, is it?”

Wade sighs and chuckles incredulously at himself.

“No, no it’s not, American Popsicle.” Wade responds, finally looking up at the man. “I really thought that Ev and I were going to have Little Vi. I thought that in another four and a half months, I would be holding that baby and watching some speck of a diamond glinting off her ring finger. I was ready to give up the mercenary life and maybe try to get a degree and a real job or fuck, maybe I’d be one of the weirdo stay at home dads. Either way, I thought I was going to be normal and functional, like in some cliché romance movie.”

“Are you afraid that you can’t have that now?” Steve questions.

“Fuck yes, I am. What are we going to do with a mutant baby?”

“Love and care for it like a normal baby.”

“Obviously, but what about when the poor kid starts school? What are we supposed to do if the other kids start calling him or her a freak or whatever? Feed our child some line of bullshit about how they’re just different and special and the other kids just don’t understand? Fuck that!” Wade pushes, careful to keep his voice quiet.

“You could have Bruce help you alter the baby’s DNA. That’s a thing that’s happening nowadays. It’s on some program or another on TV all the time.” Steve suggests.

“I don’t think Bruce really wants to help the man who stole his girlfriend get her pregnant.” Wade declines flatly with a pointed look at the super soldier.

With the conversation on such a touchy, tense subject, neither of the men notice the person they’re talking about starting to awaken. Tony keeps still and quiet as he usually does when he starts to awaken as an adult. He knows that if the people who were watching him last have anything to say about him, they’ll say it while they think he’s sleeping. The only problem, this time, is that he’s wet- really, _really_ wet. As soon as these two seem to be done talking, he’ll get up- or not, considering he now remembers Wade swaddling him so he couldn’t make any attempt at pulling the arc reactor out… Either way, he’ll make his presence and alertness known, get out of the soiled garment and proceed to get back to his adult life. Surely, there’s some sort of list of projects that he needs to tend to, right?

“You’d be surprised what Bruce would do to make Evelyn happy.” Steve disagrees. “I know you don’t want to hurt Tony by having a baby with Evelyn, but honestly, even if you two are preoccupied with him or her, he always has Amelia, Bruce, Phil, Thor, and me to take care of him. Sure, he’ll be upset for a while, but he’ll get over it and just get situated with me and possibly someone else. Who knows, maybe he’ll be adventurous and tell Rhodey and Pepper about his age play and gain some more family?”

 “That’s the thing, though, I don’t want to be preoccupied with a new baby so that I feel the need to pawn him off on someone else. He’s finally trusting me with everything, just like he does with you and Evelyn.” Wade counters, fighting the urge to glare at the other man for not getting it. “Besides, Thor and Phil and have their own little guys. Not to mention, Bruce doesn’t think he means anything to Tony when it comes to age play and I know about Evelyn telling her mother to stay away from Tony. That only leaves you and I’m sure that while he loves you, he wants the family he never had before.”

Tony cringes internally at the topic of conversation and immediately regrets eavesdropping. He’s honestly a bit pissed off and hurt that Steve would encourage Evelyn and Wade to forget about him, but even more hurt when he realizes just how true it is that Steve is really the only one he’d have left if Wade and Evelyn sideline him to have a baby. He realizes that the conversation has reached a halt since Steve isn’t arguing against Wade- probably because the mercenary’s pretty damn smart, all things considered. Tony makes an attempt to stretch and starts to slowly drag his eyelids open with a huge yawn, trying to make it apparent that he’s no longer in his headspace- though he already misses his paci as it falls towards the dip between his shoulder and Wade’s chest.

“Hey, little guy.” Wade greets, sitting Tony up in his lap as Steve takes the soother and sets it on the coffee table. “I know you’re not little and you don’t want to be, but you’re still in trouble from all the rules you broke while Ev was gone.”

“Oh, Wade…” Steve groans, realizing what the ‘immortal’ is planning to do. “Are you seriously going to do this?”

“Yes. He’s still in trouble and you know as well as I do what needs to happen.” Wade responds, turning back to a pale Tony as he unswaddles him a bit- just enough to get his arms free.

“Ev’s the one who’s supposed to punish me…” Tony says, not really sure that it matters since Bruce, being Evelyn’s boyfriend and an active caregiver, got to punish him as needed.

“Usually, but she told me that if it needs to happen, someone needs to enforce it and since you chose me to be your Daddy and I spend the most time with you, I’m the one in charge of your punishment,” Wade explains, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. “I won’t be an ass, I promise, and we will have some discussion about the whole thing before we put it in place.”

Tony only sighs and nods in response as he rubs the sleep from his face. He almost regrets not staying in his headspace… Almost.

“I’m going to go make dinner,” Steve announces, getting up and kissing Tony’s forehead before he slips into the kitchen.

“Did he just… While I’m not…?” Tony questions, wondering if he’s imagining things.

“He loves you, Tony and I know you love him. Get over it. The whole damn world’s been waiting for you two to be a couple.” Wade answers simply. “Now, before we go into your punishment, which you’ve expertly evaded before, do you need a change?”

Tony huffs and his cheeks burn red as he replies, “Yes… And I really need to shower so can we go back up to the penthouse?”

“Nope, but let’s get you changed first.” Wade responds, not missing Tony’s groan of frustration.

“You’re worse than Evie.” Tony declares as Wade lays him down on the floor after pushing the coffee table well out of the way.

“That’s because I’m more neurotic than she is and I’m not about to let you torture yourself over something that doesn’t have anything to do with you.” Wade supplies with an amused expression as he gathers the changing supplies from the bin he brought down and starts changing Tony.

“I heard what you and Cap were talking about,” Tony confesses in a quiet voice, staring at the ceiling as Wade shimmies a clean diaper under his bum and secures it snugly on his hips.

“Well it’s all true, I won’t deny that,” Wade says, securing the snaps at the crotch of the bodysuit and helping Tony to his feet.

“I appreciate that you don’t want to make me feel like I’m being tossed aside, but it really is fine if you want to have a baby.” Tony points out, feeling absurd as he sits down on the couch next to Wade since he’s never been subjected to using and wearing things that are usually reserved for while he’s in his headspace. “You don’t owe me anything. Fuck, it’s only been a day or two since you’ve been here and gotten involved in my age playing with Evelyn. Just go be with her because Steve’s right- if I want to continue this, he’ll take care of me.”

“No swearing, Tony. If it helps, I’ll stop too.” Wade chastises. “Now, if you hadn’t already spent your life getting the crap beat out of you, I’d slap you. What is it with all of you Avengers being so dense?!”

“How are we dense? I don’t get it.” Tony demands, getting flustered much easier than he should have.

“None of you get that I’m happy to take care of you because you deserve it,” Wade tells him. “I may have screwed up a lot and even screwed up a lot of people, but you’ve already gone through almost everything horrible that I could think of for a ridiculously smart child to experience. It’s beyond screwed up the bull crap that you’ve been through. I know what that’s like- not the genius part but still- and I finally got you to realize I’m not your enemy. I want that to be a permanent thing. I took a huge risk in telling you that Evelyn left me after her dad made her get an abortion for a child that I impregnated her with. Don’t make me regret all that I’ve told you. Don’t push me away when I’m one of a meager handful of people that cares about you no matter what fresh hell we’re going through.”

Tony sits in stunned silence as he looks over the man he used to keep barricaded away from his ‘sister’ and wonders how he never bothered to get to know him before. Actually, he knows absolutely nothing about Wade other than the fact that he’s a contract killer, a mutant, and had relations with Evelyn and Vanessa at different points in time. As he considers all this man, who’s practically a stranger compared to everyone else in his life, is willing to do and has already done for him, Tony can’t fight the tears that well up in his eyes as he hugs the mutated mercenary.

“Thank you…” Wade whispers, rocking Tony ever so slightly and petting the smaller man’s hair.

“No, don’t thank me.” Tony sniffs, pulling back. “You’re the one doing everything.”

“That’s a lie. You’re letting me in even though you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“That’s the real lie. You’re a smart mouth, but that’s just to hide the fact that you care.”

“Sound familiar?” Wade chuckles.

“Nope, doesn’t ring a bell,” Tony responds with a wicked grin.

“Sure it doesn’t, squirt.” Wade teases.

Tony rolls his eyes and asks, “So what’s my punishment?”

“You’re diapered 24/7 big or little for two weeks and there’s pretty much no time where you won’t be accompanied by me or Ice Man. In addition to that, we’re essentially going to care for you as if you were still in your headspace. We’ll let you feed yourself, wear normal clothes, and whatnot, but the rules for while you’re in your headspace still apply. Sound fair?”

“I guess, but why are you forcing me to live like a little when I’m big?” Tony questions.

“Because I’m a sick bastard.” Wade simply responds, rolling his eyes. “Any other questions?”

“Why are you really making that my punishment?”

Wade sighs heavily and squeezes his eyes shut as he answers as if it were painful, “Because I don’t want you to give up on age play just because you think that’s what will magically fix everything. Ev’s worked so hard to help you and I’m not about to let any of you dumbasses throw that away...”

Tony gives him an unamused look, sensing that’s not all.

“And maybe there’s a microscopic part of me that thinks you’re just too fucking adorable as a little guy.” Wade huffs dramatically, purposely looking away.

“Yay! Daddy thinks I’m adorable!” Tony mock cheers in the same voice he usually reserves for when he’s little as he plops himself on Wade’s lap and hugs him.

“You know, you’re kind of a little shit,” Wade remarks affectionately, rocking Tony in his lap. “But I love you anyway.”

Wade feels Tony stiffen at his last words and wonders if he said something wrong. As he hears Tony gasping and sniffling, the mutant is sure he’s said something wrong.

“Tony, bud, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Wade apologizes, hesitant to loosen his grip as the smaller man pulls back.

“It’s not that, I promise.” Tony half-heartedly chuckles, sniffling all the while. “It’s just that you and Steve both took this all so well- the whole team really- and I can’t help getting all emotional that someone- anyone- cares enough to say things like that.”

“If that’s the case, you’ll be hearing it a lot more.” Wade assures. “I’m going to annoy the hell out of you with how much I tell you.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Haven’t you heard why Parker won’t willingly work with me anymore?” Wade asks, fighting a laugh.

“No, can’t say I have, Wilson.” Tony answers, rather curious. “This doesn’t have anything to do with that time you wore a slutty dress over your super suit, does it?”

“Yes and no.” Wade chuckles. “Apparently, I’m too much for Spidey to handle. I swear I just wanted to be friends, but no, Peter Parker didn’t want a friend who was occasionally a little flirtatious.”

“A little? Really? Nothing about you or your personality is little.” Tony remarks as Steve exits the kitchen to round the other two up for dinner.

“Shame on you, Tony, you don’t look at Daddy that way!” Wade teasingly scolds in a tone of voice that sounds like he’s talking more to untrained puppy than a person. “Though I will happily take the compliment any day. Super penis, I’m telling you. That’s one good thing about being a mutated freak.”

Steve clears his throat, “Ahem.”

“Ruh-roh.” Wade chuckles, realizing they’ve been caught. “Dead Daddy to Iron Baby, I think Captain Daddy heard us.”

“Ya think?” Tony mocks, trying not to laugh.

“If you two are done mentioning things that shouldn’t be talked about in polite conversation, dinner is ready. I made Brooklyn style spaghetti with homemade pasta sauce and meatballs.” Steve announces, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Apologize for your naughty words, Tony.” Wade jokingly prompts, getting up with Tony situated on his hip.

Tony snickers a bit and fakes a pout as they approach Steve, enjoying Wade’s horrible humor.

“I sowwy, Daddy.” Tony mock-apologizes in his little voice as he looks up at Steve through his eyelashes.

Steve can’t help but smile at Tony’s antics and feel comforted that his baby is smiling again. Internally, Steve is frowning deeply because the stirrings are back, but definitely _not_ causing an uproar through the old ‘amusement park’ if you catch his drift that he’s totally not sending. Ever. At all. No, Siree. And even if Steve maybe is a little ‘excited’ by Tony’s acting, well no one needed to know.

“Alright, you two, march to the kitchen.” Steve prompts, rolling his eyes affectionately.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Wade mocks, sharing a mischievous grin with Tony as they literally march into the kitchen.

Steve follows behind and watches as Wade naturally fixes plates of spaghetti for both Tony and himself- even managing to keep the smaller man on his hip the whole time. He chuckles a bit as he catches bits and pieces of Tony arguing that ‘no, he doesn’t like to be held, bounced, rocked and cuddled at all times.’ It’s pretty obvious that Wade calls bullshit- though he watches his language claiming that ‘the baby isn’t supposed to hear such naughty words.’ Steve shakes his head and makes a plate for himself. Joining the two at the island in the kitchen. Wade and Steve take turns feeding Tony, supposedly as a joke that Tony was so only just going along with because it meant less work for him, though he secretly- and he’ll take facts like these to the grave- always love that they treat him like a little regardless of what mental age he is. To Tony, it spells love in every way possible because why else would they go out of their way to do things for him?

As Wade feeds him another bite of spaghetti and Steve wipes the sauce from his face, Tony can’t help but think, _‘Best. Punishment. Ever.’_

“ _All I have, I will give to you In dark times when no one wants to I will give you me And we'll be Us All I have, I will give to you In dark times when no one wants to I will give you me And we'll be Us And there's no one else Who knows me Like you do All I've done, you've done too The walls I Hide behind You walk through You just walk through Well I know all the words To take you apart You know I know you're hurt I want to mend your heart You're broke down Why don't you tell me from the start You know I know you're hurt I want to mend your heart And there's no one else_ ” –The XX, “Our Song”

“ _Your eyes, they tie me down so hard. I'll never learn to put up a guard. So keep my love, my candle bright. Learn me hard oh, learn me right. This ain't no sham. I am what I am. Though I may speak, some tongue of old… I have no strength from which to speak When you shoot me down and see I'm weak We will run and scream. You will dance with me. They'll fulfill our dreams And we'll be free And we will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. So as we walked Through fields of green, It was the fairest sun I'd ever seen. And I was broke, I was on my knees. You said yes as I said please. This ain't no sham. I am what I am. I'll leave no time For a cynic's mind. We will run and scream. You will dance with me. Fulfill our dreams And we'll be free We will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste As it keeps my heart and soul in its place. And I will love with urgency But not with haste._ ” –Mumford and Sons, “Not With Haste”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Should there be a little something between Wade and Steve, Tony and Steve, or Wade and Tony- or, I'm just throwing this out there, all of the above?   
> Let me know what you guys think!!! I love feedback, even if it's about something I screwed up or if you want something different!
> 
> Love as always,  
> Lizzy Jean   
> ( I also just might, maybe, post a picture of my Iron Man bear- named Tony, of course- in his 'little' gear if you guys want to see the adorableness that is this bear as the embodiment of Baby Tony)


	20. Things Have Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Daddies and Baby night in where important discoveries and decisions are made. We also find out what Evelyn's been doing all the while and what decisions she made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I like the three-way romance I've started to weave between Steve, Wade and Tony...   
> Thanks to artandfanfictionaremylife for their suggestion on what they wanted to see this chapter! A big thanks to all of you who are still reading!
> 
> I've picked up some more hours at work this week so it may take a little longer for the next chapter to get posted.

“ _I don't have to leave anymore What I have is right here Spend my nights and days before Searching the world for what's right here Underneath and unexplored Islands and cities I have looked Here I saw Something I couldn't overlook I am yours now So now I don't ever have to leave I've been found out So now I'll never explore See what I've done That bridge is on fire Going back to where I've been I'm froze by desire No need to leave Where would I be IF this were to go under It's a risk I'd take I'm froze by desire As if a choice I'd make I am yours now So now I don't ever have to leave I've been found out So now I'll never explore So now I'll never explore_ ” – The XX, “Islands”

Steve can’t explain what’s been going through his head since dinner. It’s been all feelings and intuitions where he used to have thoughts, strategies and plans. Furthermore, two people he never thought would be so important in his life, especially the one with the mouth, are now his sole focus, giving him a purpose he never thought he’d have again. The super soldier couldn’t help his blush when the three had settled in, with Wade cradling Tony like an infant as he convinced the genius it was okay to want a soother even when he’s not little while the mercenary snuggled up to Steve as if they were a married couple. They had decided to watch Coraline- which both Steve and Wade came to agree should never be considered a children’s movie because what imbecile lets their child watch a movie where young children get their eyes ripped out of their skulls and then have buttons sown in their place? Sickos. As of now, Steve and Wade, in some magic realm of insanity, are currently preparing a bubble bath for their baby boy while actually agreeing that Tim Burton’s films- though as dark and odd as they are in their character design and settings- are less terrifying for small children than Coraline.

“Tony, baby, are you okay?” Steve asks, slipping his boy out of the bodysuit as the man anxiously sucks on the pacifier in his mouth.

Tony has been oddly quiet ever since the first scene of the movie with Coraline’s ‘Other Mother.’ Wade had insisted that they stop the movie right then and there since he could feel the discomfort in their boy, but Steve had errantly insisted they watch a little more at least in case it wasn’t what it seemed and maybe it was all a dream world where the ‘other parents’ were just dolls that came to life in a lonely little girl’s mind.

“I told you we should have stopped it as soon as they showed the ‘other mother.’ He was rigid and I swear he started trembling before things even got bad.” Wade states, already in a pair of swim trunks as he removes Tony’s diaper and hoists the smaller man onto his hip. “In we go, baby boy.”

Steve keeps a gentle but firm grip on Wade’s arms as the Merc with the Mouth slowly steps into the bath tub with their trembling boy. Before Steve can really register it’s happened, Wade kisses him gently on the mouth and slowly squats down, easing into a sitting position in the tub. Once Wade’s seated with Tony cradled close to his chest, Steve, blushing furiously, pours the bath toys into the water and goes to change into his own swim trunks. The bath tubs are all the size of a hot tub in the Tower, which Tony probably decided on the assumption that relationships would occur and, therefore, shared baths would be a thing.

“I’m only going to say this once, Wade, but you’re right. We definitely should’ve stopped the movie then.” Steve agrees as he re-enters the bathroom and slides into the temperate water with the other two, not missing Wade’s appraising look.

“Look, Baby, Mommy’s joined us!” Wade jokes, trying to resituate Tony so the engineer isn’t ramming his face into the side of his newer Daddy’s neck.

Much to the surprise of both, Tony starts bawling with that childish gleam to his eyes as Wade catches his pacifier and sets it on the corner of the tub’s edge wedged up against the wall and the side of the vanity. Tony reaches out for Steve, who takes him happily and starts to soothe his little one. Wade kneels in the tub next to the two, petting the little’s hair while the super soldier rubs soothing circles on their little boy’s back.

“We’re watching every new release before he even knows it’s out.” Wade insists with a fierce protectiveness to his voice that makes Steve’s heart stutter affectionately (but he’ll deny it to his grave).

“Maybe we should try singing to him like Evelyn usually does?” Steve suggests in a soft voice. “It worked last time I tried it.”

“I’m open to anything that will make this stop…” Wade responds, trying and failing to sound like he’s more annoyed than anything. “What song?”

“Don’t look at me, I barely pay attention to lyrics when I listen to music. I mostly listen to it to drown out the silence.” Steve sighs, wishing he had thought the suggestion through more.

Wade’s quiet for a moment before he starts to hum a tune that Steve feels is familiar but he can’t quite place. He knows he’s heard it in the Tower before, but his memory isn’t connecting it to anything.

“Hubcaps and ashtrays I was born, but I wasn't raised. The big wheel, the black space, Tried my best but wasn't praised. Hell is so close to heaven, Hell is so close to heaven,” Wade sings in a soft voice, kicking Steve’s brain into overdrive as he recognizes the song Tony blares in the workshop constantly and that the engineer had suggested, jokingly or seriously he’s unsure, as the Avengers’ anthem.

“Hold on don't look back. You know we're better, we're better than that. Lost and thrown away, You know we're better, we're better than that. We are the strays (whoah). We are the strays,” Steve joins in, noticing Tony quieting down.

“Train tracks to the stage. Play that role, The one you made. Long nights and the worst days, Lived it all, but I didn't break. Hell is so close to heaven. Hell is so close to heaven,” Steve sings as Wade hums.

They both sing softly together, “Hold on don't look back. You know we're better, we're better than that, Lost and thrown away. You know we're better, we're better than that. We are the strays (whoah). We are the strays.”

“My whole life they said I'd be nothing, Well I'm something And I would rather be the stray Than be nothing to no one at all. Hubcaps and ashtrays, I was born, but wasn't raised,” Wade sings, pressing a kiss to Tony’s temple as the little looks up at him with red, puffy eyes that are still brimming with tears.

“Hold on don't look back, You know we're better, we're better than that. Lost and thrown away, You know we're better, we're better than that Cause we are the strays. We are the strays,” The mercenary and super soldier sing together.

Tony sniffles and as the two shower him in kisses, they see the first hint of a smile.

“That’s our song, huh, baby?” Wade asks, taking a damp hand and smoothing Tony’s fringe back out of his face as he kisses the little’s nose.

“Dada…” Tony coos quietly, reaching out to the mutant for hire.

Said mutant reaches out and takes Tony back in his arms, noting that the water is starting to cool a bit. Wade nods to Steve, who grabs the baby-friendly soaps and a plush wash cloth from the little basket on the floor next to the tub.

“We’ve gotta get you all cleaned up, love bug,” Wade tells the little. “Daddy and I will wash you up real fast and then we’ll have a bottle, a lullaby, a secret and so many snuggles that you won’t be able to stand us for a second longer.”

Tony giggles a bit but starts to whine as he sees his soother behind his Daddy’s shoulder.

“Alright, love bug, you can have your paci.” Wade soothes, taking the soother and slipping it into his little boy’s mouth. “Daddy’s gonna lean you back so your hair can get wet, okay? I’m not gonna let go and Captain Daddy will be right there to make sure I don’t.”

Tony whines but lets the mercenary lean him back until his hair is mostly in the water. Steve smiles warmly and starts making funny faces at the little while he slowly takes handfuls of water and wets their little boy’s hair. As Wade slowly sits Tony back up, Steve gently squeezes the excess water from Little Tony’s hair. Once he’s sure his baby is okay, the super soldier starts to massage the lavender shampoo into the thick, dark locks atop his little boy’s hair. He can hear Tony coo happily as he plays with Wade, making the Marlin (from Finding Nemo, Evelyn and Bruce couldn’t help but get the bath toys straight from the online Disney store) fish kiss Dori and then cuddle with the little Nemo. Within no time, Wade and Steve have their little boy all cleaned up and planted on Steve’s hip as the super soldier carefully rises to his feet with Wade’s help.

“Wade… Wade, what are you doing?” Steve questions as the mercenary starts squeezing the excess water from the super soldier’s swim trunks as they stand in the tub- gently fondling Steve’s privates and bum in the process.

“Ringing the extra water out of your trunks so you don’t slip and hurt either of you,” Wade explains casually as he quickly does the same to his shorts and steps out of the tub to assist Steve out while the soldier holds Tony.

“Alright then, can you grab Tony’s towel?” Steve asks, hugging Tony closer as he starts to shiver.

“I’m on it.” Wade responds, snatching the towel from the vanity with a huge grin as he wraps their little boy in it. “There’s our love bug!”

And it’s true, Little Tony could be called a love bug because the towel is hooded and designed to look like a ladybug, but with hearts in place of the dots. Steve smiles warmly, kissing Tony’s cheek, and hands Tony over to Wade while he goes to towel off and get dressed since Wade already has everything set up to diaper and dress their little boy.

“Come on, Baby, let’s get you all snug and warm.” Wade coos at the little inventor as he lays him down on a towel upon the memory foam bath mat.

Tony coos as his Daddy gently grabs his ankles and lifts until his hips are up off the towel, feeling the familiar and comforting padding under his sensitive skin. The mutant starts to massage a lavender and chamomile lotion into his baby’s skin, humming “The Strays” by Sleeping With Sirens all the while- the song he and Steve sang to their little boy earlier to calm him down. He notices Steve re-entering the bathroom in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt- Wade could get used to this sight… The super soldier holds a finger to his lips when Wade glances towards him, making the mercenary roll his eyes as he starts to tape the diaper into place while Steve tip-toes over to their baby, making sure to stay out of the little’s line of sight. Wade tickles Tony a bit before playfully pulling the hood of the towel over the smaller man’s eyes.

“Uh-oh! Where’d baby go?” Wade coos, pretending to be confused as he watches Steve kneel over Tony and the little spastically wriggling to try and get the hood off.

“Peek-a-boo!” Steve says in a voice reserved for his baby boy, so light and airy like a hot air balloon on a bright sunny day as he takes the hood off, making Tony giggle wildly. “I see our baby!”

Wade nearly tips over in surprise as he starts to get up. He’d been trying to flirt with the super soldier all night and he, up until now, was sure that it was either lost on him or just being flat-out rejected through lack of acknowledgment and now it’s ‘our baby?’ Wade grins stupidly as he walks switches places with Steve so he can dress their baby, using his thumb and forefinger to gently lift the other Daddy’s chin and kiss him softly before departing with a flirtatious swish of the hips as he walks and sly look over the shoulder before going into the bedroom. The mercenary can feel the pleasant tingly feeling and fluttering within himself as he throws on a pair of boxers, blue, green and black plaid pajama pants and a plain black tee. Unfortunately that pleasant intimate feeling- which he hadn’t felt since he had gotten Evelyn pregnant years ago- is put to a stop as he hears Tony fussing in the bathroom. He re-enters quickly and looks at Steve with a lapful of undressed Baby Tony with the discarded sleeper sitting nearly two feet away.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Wade asks, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“He doesn’t want to wear his sleeper,” Steve answers with an equally confused shrug as he rocks the little in his arms. “I tried to dress him in it and he started squirming and once he got a hold of it, he tossed it and started whining.”

Wade nods, recognizing what’s possibly happening based off of all the parenting websites he had read from all those years ago, and kneels next to the two. He puts an arm around Steve’s waist and runs his fingers through Baby Tony’s damp, chocolate-colored locks.

“You’re gonna get cold, love bug,” Wade tells him in a soft, quiet voice. “What if you wear one of our shirts, huh? Would you like that better, baby?”

Tony sniffles and nods. He’d been dangerously close to having a miniature meltdown. The engineer normally doesn’t have a problem with being in a baby’s headspace, but right now, he just wants to wear something other than his overly warm, constricting sleepers and he can’t seem to tell them. He’s extremely grateful for Wade’s knowledge of children, never really thinking he’d ever be the one to benefit from it.

“How did you know?” Steve asks, getting to his feet while holding Tony on his right hip with Wade’s help.

“A combination of being one of those parents when we still had a baby on the way and reading Evelyn’s psychology textbooks when I was bored to tears, though honestly, her textbooks made me want to cry even more because some of the subjects were even more boring than doing nothing.” Wade answers, pulling out a t-shirt Weasel had made for him that had a chibi version of his alter ego looking through a box of comics that had the words ‘I have issues’ printed around the image.

 

“Cute.” Steve chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed with Tony on his lap as the mutant dresses the little.

“You can thank Weasel for it,” Wade responds flatly with an affectionate smile in place as he sees how huge his shirt is on his baby. “Now that’s just too cute.”

“Oh no…” Steve mock-laments, feigning distress and fighting the urge to laugh as Wade sits down next him, clearly concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“We agree. Again.” Steve answers, chuckling at Wade’s irritation as the mercenary shoves him back on the bed and takes Tony.

“You are terrible and that really means something coming from me.” Wade huffs as he makes his way to the kitchen where Steve had already stocked some of Tony’s bottles of protein shakes.

Steve’s not the only one that can act. He grabs one of the premade bottles, takes the teat off and puts it in the microwave for 45 seconds.

“Oh, come on, Wade!” Steve practically whines, joining them in the kitchen. “You do it to me all the time. You know I’m just teasing you.”

“No, I think you just don’t like me.” Wade fake sniffles as Tony kisses his cheek- though it just looks like he’s nudging Wade with his soother. “You love me, though, don’t you, love bug?”

Tony coos, nuzzling his Daddy’s neck and resting his head on his shoulder. The microwaves beeps and Wade takes the bottle out, screwing the top back on. Before he can walk away, Steve closes in on him, grabbing the edge of the counter on either side of him, and kisses the mercenary passionately before slowly pulling back, letting his eyelashes tease the mutant’s cheek.

“If I don’t like you then why did I just kiss like I love you?” Steve breathes with a small smirk as his eyes twinkle.

“Because you’re just a big tease.” Wade exhales, unable to deny what that kiss did for him.

“I learned from the best.” Steve chuckles softly, kissing Wade’s cheek.

They both blush as Tony giggles at them, giving each other the classic, ‘are you thinking what I’m thinking’ look. They both nod and start smothering their baby with kisses. After a couple minutes of ‘unbearably lovey-doveyness,’ the two daddies let their baby breathe as they walk back to the bedroom together, Baby Tony securely in Wade’s arms while Steve carries the little one’s bottle and a bib.

“What song should we sing him this time?” Wade asks, climbing into bed and sitting with his back against the padded navy blue headboard and cradling Tony sideways in his arms.

“There’s a few decent ones by Mayday Parade I think…” Steve suggests, sliding into bed next to Wade and stretching their baby’s legs over his lap.

“Like what?” Wade questions, skeptical about what would be soothing about a punk band’s music.

“Well, they have some good ones… What about ‘I Swear This Time I Mean It?’” Steve suggests.

Wade thinks about whether he’s ever heard it. If he remembers right then it is a pretty mellow and sweet song, but he doesn’t remember the lyrics all that well off the top of his head. Steve would have to lead it. Before giving Steve the okay, he realizes there’s just one problem with that particular song…

“Steve, Derek Sanders is singing about a girl in that song.” The mercenary points out, wanting something that could be geared more towards their little boy.

“We’ll just change the pronouns then.” Steve simply suggests, grabbing the bottle and bib from the dresser while JARVIS dims the lights.

“Alright, by your lead, Starry Night.” Wade agrees, helping to situate the bib and taking the bottle from his newfound boyfriend.

“Oh, Florida, please be still tonight. Don't disturb this love of mine. Look how he's so serene. You've gotta help me out And count the stars to form the lines And find the words we'll sing in time. I wanna keep him dreaming. It's my one wish. I won't forget this,” Steve sings as Wade tips the bottle into Tony’s mouth.

“I'm outdated, overrated. Morning seems so far away. So I'll sing a melody An hope to God he's listening, Sleeping softly while I sing And I'll be your memories, Your lullaby for all the times, Hoping that my voice could get it right,” The daddies softly sing together.

“If luck is on my side tonight, My clumsy tongue will make it right And wrists that touch. It isn't much but it's enough To form imaginary lines. Forget your scars. We'll forget mine. The hours change so fast. Oh, God, please make this last,” Wade sings with a soft passion that doesn’t escape Steve’s notice, especially apparent in the way his heart seems to stutter.

Back to the chorus, they both sing, “'Cause I'm outdated, overrated. Morning seems so far away. So I'll sing a melody And hope to god he's listening, Sleeping softly while I sing And I'll be your memories, Your lullaby for all the times. Hoping that my voice could get it right, Could get it right... You could crush me. Please don't crush me 'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure And I won't let you down. I swear this time I mean it And I'll sing a melody And hope to God he's listening. Sleeping softly while I sing And I'll be your memories, Your lullaby for all the times. Hoping that my voice could get it right.”

As they finish the song, Tony finishes his bottle, already half asleep as Wade takes the bottle from his mouth and situates him over his shoulder while he pats their baby’s back until the little one burps. Steve gently wipes Tony’s face with the plush-like bib before taking it off and setting it and the bottle on the nightstand to be taken care of later.

“I’d say it’s time for your daddies to tell you a new secret,” Steve announces in a quiet voice, sweeping Tony’s fluffy fringe away from his eyes.

“You are one of the single most important people in this universe and no one could ever love you more than we do right now,” Wade starts, resting his scarred cheek on the top of their baby’s head as Tony snuggles up to his chest.

“We promise to stay by your side through everything, no matter what everyone says or does. We are yours and you are ours. Forever and always. You are brilliant and loving, which is why we will return that love a hundred-fold.” Steve finishes, kissing Tony’s forehead as Wade slips the pacifier back in their baby’s mouth. “Nothing can or ever will change our love for you or our desire to care for you the way we are right now.”

“We will be all you need and all you could ever want as long as you promise to be you,” Wade adds. “Can you promise us to be you forever and always?”

“P’omiss…” Tony babbles sleepily from behind his pacifier with a small smile.

The mercenary and the super soldier simply watch their baby until they’re sure he’s fallen asleep. The two look at each other, both feeling light as air and filled to the brim with a warm fuzzy feeling. Until Wade remembers where he left things with Evelyn… At which point, he sighs heavily, closing his eyes and letting his head hit the headboard with a dull thud.

“What’s wrong, Wadey-baby?” Steve asks, nuzzling the other Daddy’s cheek.

“Start with an E and ends with a –lyn.” Wade nearly groans. “I was enjoying myself for those hours since Tony woke up so much that I forgot about how bad things are.”

“Well, look at the positives, you had a pretty great night with us and even if Evelyn leaves you or there’s a breakup of some sort, you always have me and our baby.” Steve reminds him, caressing the mutant’s jaw. “She’ll come find you when she’s ready to talk…”

“Okay, Mr. Bright Side.” Wade quietly snorts with and an affectionate smirk.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep before he wakes up with a wet diaper- it’s pretty traumatic for him so expect screeching,” Steve says, helping Wade get laid down with Tony wedged between them.

“He was an angel for me when he was wet.” Wade teases, knowing that Tony wasn’t feeling as little in the morning. “Just got me up and asked me to change him.”

“Then you haven’t had him when he’s truly little.” Steve remarks, scooting closer to the two most important men in his life.

“You’re probably right.” Wade agrees, actually excited for when he will get to be with Tony when he’s at his youngest- even if it means a lot of crying.

“Goodnight, babe.” Steve whispers, kissing the back of Wade’s hand.

Wade is certainly grateful for JARVIS having already shut off the lights because his cheeks are on fire. Wade clears his throat and revels in the tingly sensation the kiss to his hand left.

“Sleep well, Starry Night,” Wade whispers back, closing his eyes.

Wade doesn’t even need to wonder if this is what love feels like because there’s no way it’s not. He can’t help but wonder if Steve is thinking the same thing- which unbeknownst to the Merc with the Mouth, is almost the exact same thought the super soldier is having.

Meanwhile, on the communal floor, Evelyn heard and saw the whole thing thanks to JARVIS. The AI hadn’t approved of her watching all of it, but she ignored him. She had felt guilty for thinking about going back to Bruce and talking to him about going to an IVF clinic to get inseminated so they could have a kid since Bruce wanted to but is sterile, but after seeing that Wade and Tony are just fine without her, she feels it won’t be such a bad thing to just break things off with Wade and go back to Bruce. Now, it’s not like she doesn’t feel guilty for all the drama that’s happened with the whole ‘Bruce versus Wade’ and ‘what about Tony?’ issues because she feels almost as bad about all that as she does about being a mutant.

Tomorrow will be interesting…

“ _I stood alone, upon the platform in vain… With open doors and manual locks In fast food parking lots. I headed West, I was a man on the move. New York had lied to me, I needed the truth Oh, I need somebody, I needed someone I could trust I don't gamble, but if I did I would bet on us Like the Dead Sea You told me I was like the Dead Sea You'll never sink when you are with me Oh Lord, like the Dead Sea Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea The finest words you ever said to me Honey can't you see, I was born to be, be your Dead Sea You told me you were good at running away Domestic life, it never suited you like a suitcase You left with just the clothes on your back You took the rest when you took the map Yes, there are times we live for somebody else Your father died and you decided to live It for yourself you felt, you just felt it was time And I'm glad, 'cause you with cats, that's just not right… I've been down, I've been defeated You're the message I was heeding Would you stay, Would you stay the night? Dead Sea, Told me I was like the Dead Sea Never sink when you are with me Oh Lord, I'm your Dead Sea Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea The nicest words you ever said to me Honey can't you see I was born to be your Dead Sea_ ” –The Lumineers, “Dead Sea”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to do a sort of question of the day for each chapter.   
> Today's is: What pet names/nicknames do you think Wade should have for Steve? How about Steve for Wade? Tony for Wade? Tony for Steve? Steve for Tony? Wade for Tony?  
> Also, what do you thinks of the nicknames so far?
> 
> Side note, as you can probably tell from the picture, the t-shirt Wade dresses Tony in after his bath is a real t-shirt that you can find on Amazon or just google it and there's a ton of different sites that sells it.  
> Can't wait to see what you guys/gals/peeps come up with!  
> Lots 'o' Love,  
> Lizzy Jean


	21. Gone, Gone, Gone Away

Wade has been paranoid ever since he woke up that morning next to Steve and Tony. Something felt wrong, but it wasn’t what he was doing with the two men. No, it felt like something was happening that was beyond their control that they would find out all too soon. He had gotten up at sunrise with Steve to go to the training room and work out. Steve was wearing some sweat pants and a t-shirt, but Wade had thrown on his super suit- negating the mask for the time being and leaving it looped through his utility belt. It didn’t feel right to him to spar without his gear. Now, they were done and back on Steve’s floor. JARVIS informed them that Tony was still asleep so they went to the kitchen to hydrate and wait for their little boy to wake up.

“So what should we do today?” Steve asks, sitting across from Wade at the island.

“I don’t know. I’m not used to being around people on my days off.” Wade answers, resting his chin on his hand. “I don’t really think we can decide until Tony wakes up, though.”

“True. We need to know if we’re planning our day around big Tony or Baby Tony.” Steve agrees, taking a sip from his mug of French vanilla flavored coffee.

“Should we go check on him?” Wade asks, feeling a bit nervous. “Usually, he’s already up by now and needing a change… Right?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m still pretty new to this.” Steve responds, feeling Wade’s anxiety permeate his relaxed mind.

“I’m gonna go check on him.” Wade declares, starting to get up from his seat.

Suddenly, there’s the sound of glass breaking and sobbing coming from another room. Steve and Wade both freeze, looking at each other in worry- Wade then pulling his mask on in precaution so word wouldn’t spread about his exact involvement with the super soldier and inventor- before dashing to Tony’s room where they see the window broken. Two masked figures are shouting at each other in Swedish as they hold onto Tony, who’s bawling his eyes out, all seated on a platform hanging from a helicopter. Wade grabs his twin swords in their holster and throws them on his back, attaching his guns to his utility belt as he watches the helicopter trying to raise the platform- which, if Wade isn’t mistaken, is actually the floor of the large, military-grade helicopter.

“Wade, what are you doing?” Steve demands, being ignored thoroughly as the mercenary assesses the distance between the edge of the window and the helicopter.

“Din jävla idiot! Du bröt fönstret!” One of the men yells at the other. “Nu vet att vi är här! Titta bara!”

Wade rolls his eyes at the man’s words and takes a running leap out of the broken window, throwing all his weight towards the helicopter’s landing skids.

“Maximum effort!” Wade shouts back at Steve, who simply stands in place as he watches Wade dangle from the landing skid.

“Vi har större problem än att, Sutherland! Merc med munnen är efter oss nu! Dessa hämnare måste ha anställt honom.” The other man shouts. “Varför är ynkliga man gråter?”

“Oh! I know! Pick me!” Wade shouts, straddling the landing skid. “It’s called he’s fucking terrified and I’m here to kill you and take him home! Also, fuck you, Sutherland!”

“JARVIS, get the others! Code Hot Rod Red!” Steve shouts already going to his closet and throwing his suit on and grabbing his shield.

“They have already been alerted, Captain,” JARVIS responds.

Within moments, everyone else joins Steve in the bedroom in their respective night clothes with their gear in hand. Amelia and Evelyn are in simple but sexy nightgowns- both with twin pistols and Evelyn with her ‘Phoenix’ pack on, Natasha in her tank top and (really short) shorts with her guns in hand and ammo cartridges tucked into the waistband of her shorts, Clint in his boxers (with a rather obvious pull-up on underneath that Phil insisted he wear) and t-shirt with his bow and arrows, Bruce in his pajamas and looking a little a green, and Thor wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with the Avengers logo on them as he lays Loki- who’s diapered and in a green and gold bodysuit and sucking on a gold colored pacifier- on Tony’s bed. As the heroes assess the situation, Wade pulls a tracking device and a pocket knife from his utility belt and lunges at Sutherland with them. He manages to cut Peter Sutherland’s shoulder just enough to deeply embed the tracking device without notice.

“You fucking asshole!” Peter cries clutching at his shoulder as his partner grabs Wade.

“That sounds about right.” Deadpool agrees with a casual nod.

Sutherland’s partner strips the mercenary of his weapons but fails to find his phone tucked into the man’s super suit. Once that’s done, the henchman grabs two pairs of handcuffs. Deadpool glares at him at the man starts towards Tony while Sutherland restrains the mercenary.

“Don’t even fucking try it.” Deadpool threatens. “Handcuff him and I’ll murder you right here, right now.”

“How? You have no weapons!” The man responds, unlatching the handcuffs to put around Tony’s wrist.

“I warned you.” Deadpool states, nailing Sutherland in the solar plex, then the ‘in-step’ move, elbows him in the nose, and finally the groin. “Sandra Bullock said to remember to S.I.N.G. She wasn’t Miss Congeniality for nothing.”

Before the other man can get even one of the handcuffs on Tony, Wade snaps the man’s neck from behind. He pulls his mask off and takes Tony in his arms.

“Dada!” Tony sobs, clinging to his Daddy.

“It’s gonna be okay, Baby.” Wade soothes in as quiet of a voice as a roaring helicopter will allow. “I’m here and I won’t let them get you.”

As he looks through the windows of the helicopter, he realizes they’re already, at least, three or four blocks away from the Tower. Pulling his phone out from a ‘secret pocket’ near the groin of his suit (he figured it was a good place since most of the ‘baddies’ he meets are ‘no homo’), he hits the video chat button for Steve’s contact while keeping an eye on Sutherland, who’s very slowly recovering. Back at the Tower, Steve phone goes off.

“Who the hell could be calling now of all times?” Natasha questions as Steve runs to his phone to see an incoming video call from Wade on the screen.

“It’s Wade!” Steve announces, hitting the green button to accept the video call.

“Well, fucking answer it, Rogers!” Evelyn snaps.

“Wade?! What’s going on? Are you two okay?” Steve questions as the video start to come into focus.

“We’re fine, but Love Bug’s a bit shook up.” Wade responds. “I killed Sutherland’s partner and the bastard in question is still recovering from my S.I.N.G.-ing lessons.”

Steve looks at Evelyn, who looks a bit guilty.

“We may have watched Miss Congeniality together…” Evelyn explains, not looking at Steve.

“JARVIS can track us now. I don’t want any of you to try to rescue us yet though I would appreciate it if Ev would bring Tony’s bag.” Wade continues, noting the consistency of Tony’s used diaper in the hand that’s supporting his baby’s rear. “He really needs to freshen if you know what I mean.”

“We can’t just let them take you!” Steve objects, more as Wade’s boyfriend than as the leader of a group of extraordinary humans as his voice wavers with worry and sorrow. “You don’t know what we’re up against!”

“That’s what I’m going to find out. Like I said, JARVIS can find us even if they smash my phone.” Wade responds, turning to Sutherland for a moment. “You break it, you buy it douche nozzle. This phone is worth more than your soul.”

“You can’t just go in as their prisoner with our baby to find out what they’re plan is!” Steve objects, fiery tears spilling down his face.

“Yes, I can because I have to now that this has happened,” Wade argues. “Send Ev-unarmed- with the bag. I love you and I know Love Bug loves you too. I’ll talk to-”

Before Wade can finish, Peter Sutherland takes the phone away and smashes it on the helicopter floor. Wade glares at him, holding Tony even closer.

“Here’s how this is going to go, Sutherland.” Wade starts, his hand cradling the back of Tony’s head and holding it close to his shoulder. “Ev’s bringing a bag for Tony- you can search it, but you won’t like the contents. After that, we are technically your prisoners, but know that I can and will kill you without hesitation if you don’t comply with the rules I’m setting forth. No one touches Tony but me. If they do, they die. I am never to be separated from him. If I am, many will die. If anything happens to him, all will die.”

“It’s not like I want to do this you fucking prick.” Peter spits. “I care about Amelia and all those freaks at the Tower, but if I don’t deliver Tony Stark to my boss, everyone dies- not just me.”

“Well, that’s an interesting plot twist.” Wade comments. “I’m guessing your lazy fucker of a boss was trying to ruin Tony by having you leak photos and information about his age play therapy?”

“Spot on, asshole,” Peter confirms. “I tried to convince him that it wasn’t Tony he wanted but he wouldn’t hear it. I fell in love with Amelia and I didn’t want to hurt her or any of them.”

“You really landed yourself in a fucked up situation, huh,” Wade states, rocking Tony as they see the helicopter door open with a wary and angry looking Evelyn staring back at them and tossing a large bag in.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Wilson,” Evelyn shouts over the sound of the helicopter’s rotor blades cutting through the air. “If anything happens to him, you’re fucked.”

Before Wade can say anything, the door slams shut and Evelyn disappears from sight.

“I bet she’s just like her Mum.” Peter comments.

“Worse.” Wade corrects. “I love her, but she’s worse.”

“They get worse with every generation I guess,” Peter replies, shrugging. “Look, if we’re going to fool the Swedish Meatball, you have to along with what I do, even if that does mean that I make Tony cry for one reason or another. Trust me, you’ll get your chance to kill plenty of the numbskulls that work this Hydra boss, but you have to work with me. If you do, I will help undo the damage that I have done by leaking all that shit into the media.”

“That’s fine by me as long as you promise that Tony doesn’t have to see anything you wouldn’t want your own baby to see.” Wade qualifies, setting to work on digging the changing supplies out of the bag Evelyn left and changing his baby boy.

“I promise.” Sutherland agrees, a very serious and appreciative look on his face.

As Wade cradles Baby Tony in his arms, he knows that he’s unleashed a whole new hell upon his poor baby who’s been through this exact situation one too many times. He feels awful as Tony continues to cry while the mercenary wraps the infantile in a soft blanket. Peter Sutherland watches the two and knows the only promise he can keep is to make sure Tony doesn’t have to see anything a baby should never see. There will be henchmen that will come into contact with him and make him hurt. Peter can only hope that Wade will be too distracted by comforting the little inventor to retaliate though he highly doubts that will be what happens.


	22. __________ On Arrival

The helicopter ride ends when they come to a private airstrip. There’s a military looking jet sitting before them. Wade’s grateful that Tony is still asleep, figuring that the sight of such a huge, probably armed jet would likely set him off and give him a panic attack or something. As they board- Sutherland being the only one other than the pilots to board with Wade and Tony- The mouthy mercenary looks around the interior to discover it’s more of a private luxury jet than its outward appearance suggests. In fact it looks quite similar to one of Tony’s private jets- not that the former soldier would know since he definitely never snuck aboard one and stalked the Avengers just because Weasel had challenged him with a promise of a huge payout if he succeeded. No, never. But he figured Tony would only have the best for himself and his potential passengers, much like the jet they just boarded. The seats are lined with a plush material and extra cushioned for comfort, the carpet softer than cashmere, the tables made of cherry wood, and the walls a nice cream color with golden and silver scrawling designs. Wade takes a seat a little ways from Sutherland, eying the craft around them with suspicion.

 

“This is awfully cushy for a kidnapping, not that I’m complaining…” Wade points out, studying the Scotsman closely.

 

“I’ve been watching all of you for a very long time. I knew you would come after last night. The Swedish Meatball figured he would reward any cooperation he got from you considering you’re the key to making or breaking his plans.” Peter explains. “He knows you typically work for money and luxury and that you would be the only one to allow Tony to make it to his base. You’re smarter than most give you credit for, but, and I don’t mean to make this about me, you both would be screwed if it weren’t for me. The Swedish Meatball doesn’t suspect any real wavering in my loyalty- he just assumes I’m more for subtly and practicality when it comes to plots like his. I let him believe that.”

 

“Isn’t this a bad place to be revealing your loyalties?” Wade questions, one eyebrow quirked in curiosity.

 

“No. The pilots only speak and understand Swedish and The Meatball doesn’t trust Tony or his AI no matter what mindset the genius is in so security is a bit old fashioned around here.” Sutherland answers, shrugging and lounging on the seat. “It’s going to be a long flight. Overnight at least. You may as well get comfortable. There’s pillows and bedding in that closet there as well as basic outfits. The bathroom even has a functioning shower. The seats on the other side unfold into a bed if you do it right.”

 

“I don’t understand why you’re helping us…” Wade says, shaking his head as he gets to his feet to pull out the bed Sutherland mentioned. “With that said, I’m glad you are. It’s a bitch to go in not knowing what to expect.”

 

“Trust me, I know.” Peter assures, getting up and pulling the bed out for the mercenary since his hands are otherwise occupied. “Hydra set me up from the beginning. One wrong move and the capsule in my right atrium blows. Can’t stop it. No one can disarm. Not even your little genius there could disarm it.”

 

“So what? Are you just fucked no matter what you do?” Wade presses, finding this situation to be fairly unique compared to all the other Hydra bosses he’s heard of.

 

“Aye. Once you escape I’m dead. That’s why you need to find a place to hide this.” Peter responds, producing a tiny flash drive. 

 

“What’s on that?” Wade questions suspiciously, sitting on the edge of the surprisingly already made pullout bed.

 

“My confession that I was working for Hydra and that they made me fabricate everything. It explains it all. How I originally worked for SHIELD and was sent undercover and had to work against SHIELD in order to stay alive and keep feeding them Hydra secrets.” Peter explains, holding it out to the mercenary. “Hide it well. They will search you thoroughly.”

 

“Knife me.” Wade instructs, quickly and gently laying the half asleep inventor down.

 

“Why would I give you a knife?” Sutherland prompts, still feeling the pain in his shoulder from the wound the mercenary gifted him.

 

“You said to hide it well and I have crazy healing powers. Ergo, I will cut myself open and shove it in the wound until I get back to the Avengers’ Tower and Bruce rips it out.” The mouthy mutant responds. 

 

“I suppose I can’t say no since you’re reasoning is surprisingly solid.” Peter submits with a bit of a sigh as he hands a small pocket knife to the mutant. “Make it quick, your tyke is starting to get restless- I’m assuming he’s hungry since the Boss sent us in to get him so early.”

 

Wade folds his mask and bites down on it as he removes his super suit enough to get at his bicep. He takes the pocket knife and makes a deep incision groaning and fighting the urge to scream as he opens it, shoving the tiny flash drive in the wound. Sutherland takes the pocket knife back and cringes as he watches Wade force the split flesh back together as it starts to heal faster than either of them expected.

 

“Good god, laddie. You’ve got some balls, that’s for sure.” Peter comments, sounding as if he were about to get sick.

 

“You don’t wake up like this, you get suffocated, beaten, shocked, frozen, drowned…” Wade explains, his voice as his smooth and in control as if he hadn’t just cut himself open with an intensity that reminds Peter just who he’s unleashing on Hydra- a murderer for hire with a lot of suppressed rage and now paternal instinct to protect his little inventor. “You ever had any of that done to the point you wished you were still dying of cancer? Still feeling your insides being crushed by cells that don’t know the meaning of quitting?”

 

“No…” Peter answers solemnly.

 

“Exactly. So when it comes down to it, that was a papercut compared to getting my brains blown out.” Wade bites, pulling his suit back into place until Sutherland stops him.

 

“You should change outta that suit, Wilson. They’re less likely to try and beat the shit out of you if they think you’re just some civilian in a fucked up relationship with a playboy.” Peter advises, throwing jeans and a t-shirt at the man. 

 

“I’ve trusted you about a lot of shit already despite the fact that you’re a two timing piece of shit, why should I believe this is something that will help me?” Wade demands, eyeing the Scotsman.

 

“You don’t want him seeing you getting torn open and flayed alive do you?” Peter poses, with a look that screams, ‘you’re a fucking idiot.’ “Besides, only the boss knows you're Deadpool. He gets a sick pleasure from the thought of instructing his goons to incite your rage and getting the shit beat out of them for their efforts.”

 

“Guess I'll change then…” Wade wearily agrees, taking the clothes and changing on the spot so Tony won't wake up and freak out because he can't see his daddy. 

 

“What are you doing…?” Sutherland questions.

 

“Changing clothes. What's it look like?” Wade answers blandly, shimmying out of his suit and pulling on the jeans. 

 

“Why not go shower and change in the bathroom? I don't know when you'll be able to bathe again.” 

 

“You're a fucking idiot, Sutherland.” Wade remarks in a quiet voice, pulling the tshirt on. “He's an infant. He can't be left alone. What's more, he would cry and fuss because his Daddy's not there.” 

 

“I don't claim to know anything about children but I think I could've kept an eye on him.” Sutherland remarks, crossing his arms over his chest as Wade delicately lifts and cradles his baby genius.

 

“Look, I've trusted you about a lot today and if I'm gonna have trust you more when we get there, I've gotta get this non-trusting stuff out now. I can only let a stranger have a say for so long.” Wade responds. “Besides, for all intents and purposes, he is my baby. I have a very strong instinct to protect him.”

 

With that, the ride continued on with an uneasy silence. Wade occupied the first hour feeding Tony and then they played on the floor of the jet for some time before Tony was put down for a nap with Wade curled up next to him the whole time. Just as Sutherland had suggested, the trip was a long one and Wade wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or anxious when they finally did touch down at the base, which actually looked like a swanky office building or perhaps a high end condo complex. For a hostage situation, they sure were making it feel homey.

 

“This way.” Sutherland instructed as Swedish goons surrounded them as if they were political officials with bodyguards.

 

After a bit of a walk from the landing pad into the building and to the elevator, Wade found himself and Tony on the seventh floor of a ten story building. They were then locked in what looked like a hotel suite with a small kitchen to boot. Peter was still with them, standing closer to the door facing away from the kitchen.

 

“I’m sure you’ll find that we have eyes on you at all times whether any of us are in here with you or not. Try to behave yourself and cooperate and maybe we won’t feel it necessary to punish you or your… whatever he is.” Peter informs them, keeping his back to the kitchen, liking signaling that there’s a camera there. “There’s a button that summons us if you need anything essential to your existence, such as food, or if you’re feeling particularly cooperative, it can be used to summon us when you have something of value to share.”

 

With that, Peter left them to get settled. Wade couldn’t help it, he knew the door would be locked and potentially armed but he had to try it for himself. Sure enough, as he tried to twist the handle it wouldn’t budge and even went so far as to buzz at him before a voice came over an intercom.

 

“No,” was the only thing the voice said and Wade swore whoever said it was laughing at him and his supposed stupidity.

  
Wade rolled his eyes and settled in on the couch with Tony curled up in his lap. He reached into the bag and pulled out a super plush golden lion. As he played with Tony, his mind wandered to what the Swedish Meatball might be after and what he might do to get whatever it was he wanted. There was no outcome or assumption that ended well in his mind.


	23. NOT A CHAPTER AUTHOR'S NOTICE FOR THE READERS

Hello everyone,

I regret to announce to any of you who were still watching this piece for updates and had hopes of further developments that there will be no further progression on this piece. It was something I really worked with and thought would further perhaps even going so far to chronicle all the major stories of the Avengers from Winter Soilder to Civil War and of course all of Tony's exploits but with the twist of therapeutic age play. Unfortunately I no longer feel that this piece has that kind of potential and it feels as though I'm simply adding to all that already exists. With that I regretfully inform all of you that it is extremely unlikely anything more will be done with Damage Control and poor, sweet Tony and his mouthy Companion Wade Wilson will be forever stuck in the suspiciously cushy Hydra Base maintained by the one known to most as 'the Swedish Meatball.'

 

sincerest affections,

Liz

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and give kudos if you like this piece. Let me know if you want me to develop it further and where you might like to see this go.  
> The song that Amelia sings to Tony is "Landslide" originally by Fleetwood Mac, though I'm more familiar with the rendition done by The Dixie Chicks. If you haven't heard it, I recommend listening to it. I think it's a pretty good song and it just brings back a lot of memories for me of my amazing grandmother (may she rest in peace).


End file.
